I’m not happy.

  I’m not letting public perception of me be dictated by some white bitch.

  Don’t get me wrong. I like Serenity. I wasn’t myself when we fought, and she found a way to stop me without hurting me too badly. Took her awhile, but that’s okay, I like a challenge.

  Doesn’t mean that Serenity’s story is the only one allowed to share their side of the story. I got kidnapped and tortured too. My story may not be what you expect. Mostly because I’ve been alive since 1848, and I didn’t get my powers from the torture like everyone else did.

  I was seven years old when I watched my parents killed by settlers during the Puget Sound War. 6 men with muskets raided the reservation, set fire to our tents, and shot most of the adults. I watched as some of them cracked smiles while firing off bullets into the smoke. I remember feeling really, really angry, but I was unable to do anything. I was only seven years old.

  I swore vengeance on the colonizers that took my parents' lives. I hid in the forest and trained for a year using skills I had learned in tribal school, then I heard that Chief Leschi was dead and the war was over. After that, I went back to the reservation and immediately ran into Shuwi, my sister, and one of the historical scholars.

  “You’re back.” Shuwi started.

  “Yeah.” I replied.

  “Good. I’m glad.” Shuwi smiled, kissing me on the forehead.

  I remained on the reservation for another 20 years, learning what I could from Tribal School while trying to find the men who killed my parents. Eventually, I managed to track them down to a military encampment near the Puyallup river. As I left our tent, I grabbed only the essentials: a pair of binoculars, my mom’s old tomahawk, and a bow & arrow I had made when I was 8.

  “Today’s the day. I may not come back.” I remember saying to my sister.

  “Come back or I’ll kill you myself.” She replied, gathering some history books off a shelf.

  I never saw her again after that. It was impossible for me to go back to the reservation after I got my powers, too much metal. I would’ve destroyed the camp by accident. I wasn’t thinking about it then, I just ran down the Puyallup river to find the military base.

  When I made it near the encampment, I climbed up a tree and hid in it while spying on the men through my binoculars. There were only about three of them, two with typical muskets and one with what looked like an advanced musket. I don’t remember what it was called, it was over 200 years ago. Next to the two with normal muskets, there was a barrel with some weird green liquid in it, close to the edge of the river. I don’t remember what they were saying, as I was focused on the strange barrel of liquid.

  With the element of surprise on my side, I threw my mom’s tomahawk at the guy with the more advanced weaponry. It hit him clean on the backside of the head, killing him instantly. The other two were a bit farther into the encampment, so they didn’t notice him falling onto the dirt.

  Then I jumped out of the tree, pulled the Tomahawk out of the dead soldiers head, and immediately threw it at one of the other soldiers near the barrel of liquid.

  “Shit.” One of the soldiers responded before the tomahawk sliced clean through his throat, decapitating his entire head, which fell onto the ground seconds before his body followed.

  “Savage!” The last guy called out as he ran over to the barrel .

  I picked up the tomahawk one last time, and threw it directly at the back of his head, causing him to fall directly into the river.

  Unfortunately that’s also how I lost my mom’s Tomahawk.

  I walked closer to the barrel of strange liquid, trying to get a better look at what it was. From a distance, it looked slimy, and up close, it still looked really slimy. I felt a call to touch it, but right as my hand hovered over the top of the barrel, I heard two separate gunshots go off behind me and I quickly hid on the other side of the barrel. One more gunshot went off, and I felt it hit the front of the barrel.

  “Hey! You can’t just kill our men and think you can get away with it, Savage!” One of them screamed, not sure where to place his anger.

  I hate that word. “Savage”. It’s projection. They’re the savages, savagely taking our land away from us. Savagely forcing us into small pieces of land as a promise of not killing us. I felt really angry, but I also underestimated how light the barrel of green goo was, as it was leaking out on the front side and I didn’t notice it until after I jumped onto the top of the barrel and subsequently lost my balance, falling into the puddle of green liquid on the other side of the barrel, with what was left of the contents of the barrel sliding onto my face.

  Within seconds, I felt reborn. Renewed. Like I could do anything, except for being stuck on the ground as one of the two new soldiers walked up to me, holding a musket to my face.

  “Say your prayers, Indian.” The soldier said, smirking as he stared down the barrel of his gun.

  Translation: I’m so glad I’m white and we get to kill people we deem bad. Once I retire from the military, I’m going to be a cop. Translation of the translation: Fuck this guy.

  I felt an invisible, electric field gathering around me, close to my body, almost like I was absorbing it. I then sat up, put the gun as close as I could to my face without doing damage, and then saw that the tip of it was pointing down, almost like it was attracted to my hands.

  Like a magnet.

  I smirked.

  “Hey, uh, what was in that barrel?” The soldier sheepishly called to the other soldier.

  “I dunno. I think the commander brought it over from Germany. We were told not to touch it. Why?” The other soldier called back, turning around to look back at the soldier and myself.

  “She touched it.” He replied, as I pulled the musket out of his arms and stabbed it through his chest, without touching it.

  His blood splattered all over the ground, like spilled milk. I wiped it off my cheeks, smiling. That was the first time I truly experienced happiness.

  I stared directly at the other soldier, who was really confused, but still charged at me with his musket.

  I side-stepped directly to the left of me, and the soldier nearly fell into the river as I used my new abilities to stab him in the gut with his own musket, his lifeless body falling into the river.

  After that, I went to several military encampments and killed all the soldiers who took our land away from my people. It’s been over 200 years since then. I’m still 27. The government never realized it was me doing it, and constantly blamed the attacks on unspecified terrorists.

  I didn’t notice I wasn’t aging for several years. I was far too busy training myself and killing military soldiers for a decade or so. I first realized I wasn’t aging around 1875. Finding out what that gunk was a far longer wait.

  I didn’t find anything out until about 2009, when I infiltrated an assassin’s guild, the Silent Predators. Nowadays, they mostly just carry out hits for high profile politicians, but they didn’t start doing that until around 2014. I only stayed on site until mid 2010.

  While I was there, I met a young girl, about to go through puberty. I never knew her name back then, all I knew was that she was the daughter of the head of the clan. I’ve heard rumblings from old contacts that they still don’t know where she is. I vividly remember our few short conversations.

  One day I was training against hay dummies in the courtyard when the child walked up to me.

  “You’re speedy.” She said, admiring my fighting technique.

  “Thanks. I’ve had a lot of practice.” I replied, focused on the dummy.

  “How long have you been training?”

  “Longer than anyone else here.”

  “But you’re 27! You’re old, but not that old.”

  “Well, time moves differently for me.”

  I continued performing various martial arts techniques on the dummy, remembering what I was taught by one of the guild members, who was from the Nisqually tribe. He put me through some rigorous testing, but I managed to make it out the other side. At times, it felt like the girl was studying me.

  “Why did you join us?” The child asked after some time.

  “I’m not joining the guild. I’m not an assassin.” I replied, focusing on my techniques.

  “Then how did you get in?”

  “I know a guy.”

  The assassin from the Nisqually tribe saw me and let me in, no questions asked. He was just thankful there was another native there.

  I took a brief pause from beating the never-living shit out of the hay dummy, and turned my attention to the child.

  “Listen kid, when people don’t respect you, they make it clear. Sometimes in violent ways, sometimes subtly. Sometimes it’s with their words, sometimes with their actions, sometimes with their emotions. It doesn’t matter how it comes across, the point is always the same. If they don’t respect you, you don’t owe them respect. The guy who let me in? He has my respect. The head of the clan? Not so much.” I spoke, in a way I was sure the child would understand.

  “Yeah, my dad can be a bit much sometimes, like when I wanna play in the mud with the other kids! Dad says I can’t do that cause I’m a girl and girls don’t play in mud. They play with nunchucks in the training hall. He only likes me if I’m training to be an assassin.” She replied, holding up a pair of nunchucks.

  I stood there for a second, pondering on what she had just said, thinking about the implications of her parent-child relationship.

  “Do you enjoy training?” I asked, stepping away from the training dummy and sitting down near the kid.

  “Not really. I like Invader Zim and Legend of Zelda. My aunt got me a book about mythology, too! I’d rather read that than be constantly training. I don’t wanna be an assassin. But dad says that if I don’t become an assassin he’ll kick me out of the clan.” She replied, dejectedly.

  “Sounds like he’s got a bad case of Stubborn Asshole.” I replied, chuckling.

  “He is stubborn.”

  “If you could be anything you wanted, who would you be?”

  “Hmm... A detective! All I would do is solve mysteries all day, and I wouldn’t need to fight all the time!”

  “Interesting choice, though aren’t most detectives boys?”

  “There are some girl detectives, like Nancy Drew and Velma! But my favorite detective is Gumshoe, from Ace Attorney! He’s a bumbling oaf and really funny. I wanna be like him when I grow up. I kinda wish he was my dad.”

  “Well,” I started, standing up, “if you put your mind to it, you can achieve it, I’ve lived as much to prove it, and if your dad kicks you out, then that’s his fault for not being supportive of your dreams.”

  That was the first time I saw the child smile, with a golden aura emanating around her, as if she learned something incredible for the first time. That aura kept me going for the entire time I was staying with the Silent Predators.

  After I had integrated myself into their ranks with some help from the kid, I began exploring the area. The guild was similar to a lot of other assassins guild I’ve seen in video games. It was hidden off in a decrepit corner of Tumwater, far away from the government buildings, hidden within the woods. The building that was being used was old and abandoned, and a lot of the furnished areas only included the basic necessities. The mess hall was the busiest, that’s where a lot of the guild members would go to sign contracts. The building itself was made of rocks and there wasn’t any metal used in any part of the building, so my powers never went off and never gave me away.

  The area I was looking for was an old storage space off in the leftmost corner of the building, locked away and hidden from the sight of the rest of the guild. The door was solid oak, with a brass doorknob. I attempted to see if I could use my magnetic abilities to open the lock, and after some practice and a good 20 minutes of time, I managed to unlock the door, discovering tons and tons of barrels filled with the same liquid goo I had found all those years ago.

  I looked around for labels, and it took me awhile because the guild itself was very secretive so they didn’t have labels on anything. I did, however, find a map charting the different areas of the storage unit. The area I was in was marked ‘Nuclear Waste’, and there was a note in the corner saying ‘Thanks, Jared!’.

  Now I know that name was in reference to Jared Lang, the former CEO of Lang Corp. The man who built a nuclear reactor from scratch, then laid off most of his employees after it was finished, and the main reason why everything that happened... happened.

  “Nuclear Waste?” I said to myself, looking at all the barrels stored within the room, “Wait, is this what gave me...”

  Before I could finish my thought aloud, I heard the door open, and immediately hid myself behind the barrels. I heard two voices. One of which sounded like Ronald Taylor, the head of the guild. The other, I couldn’t recognize, but it was a female voice.

  “As I was saying earlier, these are what we’re going to be transferring to Jared early tomorrow morning so he can begin work on his grand vision of a Greater Seattle.” Ronald spoke heartily, impressed he managed to get Jared hooked.

  “He’s buying all of these?” The female voice spoke.

  “Of course. He needs all of them, and why wouldn’t he? There’s at least 500 tons of waste in these barrels! More than enough for his invention! All I need from you is to call him tomorrow and tell him that he must pick them up by the first of the month.”

  “That’s three days away, sir.”

  “Then tell him he better pick them up as soon as possible. I don’t want my assassins gaining abilities of their own to usurp my position! Once these are out of my hands, I’ll be able to do whatever I desire, including getting the fuck out of tumwater. You see, Control is the most important thing a person can have.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “If you can’t control your people, you don’t have power. They go hand in hand. I can’t afford to lose power, so I must keep control. It’s really that simple, Veronica. Make a note of it.”

  After that, the two walked out of the room and I heard the door shut again. I peeked from behind the barrels to make sure they were gone.

  They were.

  “So this is why I’m magnetic and live forever.” I said to myself, looking over the barrels, “I can’t let them fall into Lang’s hands.”

  I searched around the room for anything that could be used to start a fire, but came up empty. After looking around the room, I noticed a stick and some loose flint.

  “Bingo.” I said to myself as I grabbed the flint, and started a fire in the storage room, climbing the unlit barrels to the ceiling as I bent some of the metal bars and escaped to the other side of the wall.

  Someone nearby sniffed out the smoke, and I could see one of the assassins through the door, talking to Ronald.

  “Sir!” The assassin spoke, “The storage room has been lit aflame. All the barrels are going to burn!”

  “Thank you for bringing this to my attention,” Ronald started, “However, I must inform you that the barrels themselves are fireproof and none of the items within the storage unit will be harmed. There is nothing to be worried about.”

  Ronald then walked down the hall a little bit, with Veronica in tow.

  “Oh, also, find who did this and bring them to me.” Ronald continued, in an incredibly stern tone that was different from the way he was acting in the storage room.

  “Yes, sir!” The assassin said, running back down the hall.

  Shit. Well, it didn’t matter, I was far enough away from Tumwater by the time they would’ve figured out it was me.

  For the most part, I managed to keep hidden while continuing my stake out of several major military bases that were built between 2011 and 2023. I remained in an abandoned tree house near the Mount Rainier National Park during the hours in which I wasn’t actively murdering military personnel.

  Two months before the events of Serenity’s tale, I was discovered.

  The day was June 13th, 2023. I was sharpening my mom’s tomahawk when I heard a voice call from underneath the tree house.

  “Shikoba Robinson? You are a bitch to track down, but I’ve finally managed to find you!” The voice called.

  I remained silent, not knowing who the voice was.

  “All I want is for you to come step down here, I won’t bite, I promise. It’s just... your name is on a list I have, so you need to come with me. I’ll do it by force, if necessary, but I want to give you the opportunity to do it yourself. I hear that you’ve been recently identifying as two-spirit, whatever the fuck that means.” The voice continued, waiting patiently for me to reveal myself.

  I continued to be silent, worried that this voice wasn’t a friend.

  “Okay, I get it, give the radio host the silent treatment. That’s fine, I understand! I actually get it a lot. Not a lot of people like talking to me, including my wife, but that’s besides the point. I have it on good authority that there is no such thing as two-spirit, because there’s only two-genders. Get it? It was a very clever joke, I hope you got it. All you have to do is come with me, Shikoba! So I can make you the way God intended. Oh, and there’s a note here that says you’ve already been exposed to the Nuclear Waste, so I don’t have to shoot you with my nuclear waste powered laser, but you know what? Just for you, I’m gonna do it anyway! I don’t even know how you got exposed to it already, it’s only been stored on military compounds, but that’s irrelevant. You’ll become better, Shikoba, just come down!” The voice called, getting closer and closer to the tree house.

  “Stay away!” I called back, breaking my silence.

  “So you ARE in there! Fantastic. I’m coming up.”

  I heard footsteps climbing the ladder, approaching the door on the floor of the treehouse. I locked it immediately. Eventually, I heard that same door shake a bunch, with the voice banging on the door. I prepared a tomahawk I had made in advance to throw it at whoever was approaching.

  “Come on, Shikoba, I’m not going to hurt you. Not right now, anyways, maybe later. I just can’t leave here without you!” The voice called from behind the door.

  It was at that point that a tiny stink bug flew into my room, and the next moment he grew into a mutated human-stink bug monstrosity and opened the latch on the trapdoor. I threw the tomahawk at him, and it caught him in the thorax, but he didn’t die.

  “I say, this is most unsettling.” The stinkman spoke as he opened the trapdoor and let the voice from earlier into the room.

  It was none other than Matt Shapiro, host of The Matt Slapp and absolute disgrace of a human being.

  “You had an easy task, Shikoba, just let me in. But you didn’t want to, so I had to make Johannes do it. It’s just business. Come with me, Shikobs.” Matt spoke, chuckling.

  “My, what a fascinating specimen! So perfectly sharpened.” The stinkbug man named Johannes said as he pulled the tomahawk from his thorax.

  “Calm your tubes, Dr. Stench. I got this from here,” Matt said in an irritated voice.

  “That’s Von Stench to you!” The stinkman yelled back as Matt began walking over towards me.

  “Shut up, insectoid,” Matt rebutted as he grabbed my face, “he is right in a sense, you are a fascinating specimen. Ronald’s been looking for you for decades, that’s why your name is on the list, and I can’t wait to tell him I finally found you.”

  I spit in his face.

  “Rude,” He replied, wiping the spit off his cheek, “No matter, I have you right where I want you, and now you can... Endure your sin.” He finished, staring directly into my eyes.

  My vision went blank within a second, and by the time I figured out what happened, it was already too late. I was surrounded by black, ink-like liquids surrounding my feet. There was nothing else around. I tried to walk, but my body wouldn’t take me anywhere, that is, until I saw a doorway appear from the nothingness and I regained my ability to walk. When I opened the door, all I saw was fire.

  When I stepped through the doorway, I realized it wasn’t just fire that was on the other side of the door. It was also the reservation. My reservation. Matt Shapiro had taken me back to that night. Tents everywhere were burning. Everywhere I looked, I saw my tribe murdered by the same man. Matt. He had made himself appear in my nightmare. As I ran through the burning reservation, I saw my parents, still on fire, staring at me.

  “You’re a disappointment.” The visage of my dad said.

  “We put so much effort into you, our child, only for you to abandon us?” The visage of my mom spoke.

  “You left us. You left all of us.”

  I turned around, and staring directly at my face was a burning visage of my sister.

  “You could’ve saved us, Shikoba. You could’ve saved all of us, and instead you went the path of revenge.” The fake Shuwi spoke.

  “You could’ve saved us.” My parents spoke at the same time.

  Then the rest of the people from the reservation, also on fire, started chanting.

  “It’s your fault we burned.” The entire reservation started chanting as they began approaching me, pulling out their own bow & arrows that were also on fire.

  “No... it was the colonizers! They did this to you! They stole the land and set it aflame!” I yelled out, but no one seemed to listen or care.

  “It’s your fault we’re dead, Shikoba.” My burning parents chanted.

  “It’s your fault I’m dead.” The fake Shuwi spoke.

  “It’s your fault.” The reservation chanted over and over for what seemed like hours.

  I was weak then, and I crumbled. I just wanted it to be over. I knew it wasn’t true, but there was nothing stopping me from believing it, and I did. I was convinced I needed to make up for what I did, and so I fell right into the hands of Matt.

  Once the vision faded, I was hit with a green laser, and woke up in an experimentation room at Phobia Labs. Matt was reading from a folder near the door and the stink bug mutant was meddling with the computers on the other side of the room. However, he seemed to be shedding his mutant bug skin into a more traditional human kind.

  As soon as I came to, all of the lab equipment flew off the shelves and clung onto my body with insane speeds. The large metallic objects in the room moved inches away from my face, and I could barely see anything around me.

  “I take it this means she’s awake.” Matt said.

  “I do hypothesize this experiment shall be considered a success!” Johannes exclaimed, writing down notes in his journal.

  “Christ sakes, Johannes, can you speak like a normal person?” Matt started, before rubbing his eyes and walking over to me, “Are you awake now, Shikoba? How was the journey? You’re done with all this gender non-conforming nonsense, right?” Matt asked.

  I responded by spitting in his face again.

  “Fuck you.” I shouted.

  “Jesus Christ, you’re going to make this hard, aren’t you? Okay, here’s the deal: you see all this metal shit covering you? The more we hit you with my expensive nuclear waste powered laser, the more your power is going to be amplified. So, if you don’t stop being whatever the fuck this two-spirit bullshit is, I’m going to continue hitting you with my laser until you get CRUSHED BY THE GENERATOR ON ATTACHED TO THE ROOF. It’s a simple choice, Shikobs. You get Boy, or you get Girl, you don’t get both, you don’t get neither, and you don’t get to switch. It doesn’t make sense. You know, I was a well respected biologist before the great Transgender Takeover of 2016. Top of my class, graduated with high honors, accepted into the most prestigious biology laboratory on the west coast. I cured diseases. I helped people. Now, suddenly, Queer Acceptance is mandatory? You queers are mentally ill. Back then, biology was simple. Boy, or Girl. Two choices. There was no non-binary. There was no intersex, there was no two-spirit bullshit. But you make one research paper on the biological reality of trans people and you’re not allowed to have a job anymore? Workplace Harassment? It’s illegal to not be woke? This world has gotten so fucking stupid. Congratulations, Caitlyn Jenner, want a fucking cookie!? You want the attention!?!? Well, here then, TAKE IT!” Matt screamed at me, his voice filled with extremely misplaced anger.

  “Sir?” Johannes spoke up, clearly worried about the mental health of the spoiled manchild with parents who never loved him.

  “Don’t look at me like that. Not a single experiment has worked. None. Nothing’s working. The others aren’t changing their tune either. I don’t fucking get it.”

  “It’s okay, sir, we can try again tomorrow.”

  They both left the room after that, with Matt slamming the door on his way out, pissed off. At first, I was upset at everything that had happened and I stewed on what Matt said for a long time before I remembered what he said about the laser. That’s when I had the idea to let Matt try to torture me. If he manages to become convinced that his experiment worked and that I was no longer queer after a certain period of time, I could use that to grow my magnetic abilities for my own personal benefit, convince Matt I was on his side, learn the way of the land, and then come back and kill everyone afterwards.

  That’s... essentially what happened. I let Matt hit me with a laser for another month straight. Three weeks into July, I let him believe that I had caved, and chose to be considered a girl. It was still dysphoric, but I had to do what I needed to in order to escape. Afterwards, I offered my services to Matt and allowed him to “train” me within the laboratory to prevent any escape attempts. He hired me as his personal bodyguard so long as I wear a dominatrix outfit. That was... a conversation of it’s own.

  “Hey, Shikobs, so I’ve been thinking about this whole Bodyguard arrangement, and I just wanna ask... can you make it sexier?” Matt asked one day, when we were both alone in his office, the one with no metal objects in it.

  If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  “No.” I replied.

  “Don’t be like that. I need this. The doctor said my wife is drier than the Sahara desert, and you would look so hot in this.”

  Without a moment to respond, Matt pulled out a really skimpy, leather studded outfit that looked like it was entirely made out of belts.

  “I don’t want to wear that.” I replied.

  “Do it or I’ll torture you again.” He rebuked.

  “Torture me again and I will kill you with your own machinery.”

  “I like hardball. I’m gonna up the offer. What if you wear the outfit, or I’ll put you back in the bed with so many appliances it’ll be impossible for one of them to not crush you to death.”

  “If that was enough to kill me, I would’ve been dead over 100 years ago.”

  “I forgot you were super old, yet still so hot. Fine, please wear it. I’ll do anything you want. What would it take for you to wear it?”

  I thought about it for a moment, then laughed, then tried to conceal my laughter which was still continuing.

  “You know, if you really want to be able to cure gayness, you should understand how it works. If you want me to put on that outfit, I want you to download grindr... and have sex with a femboy.” I spoke in as serious a tone as possible.

  “No. No way. You’re joking, right?” He replied, confused.

  “In a maid outfit.” I added, still serious.

  Matt swung his chair around and stared at the back wall of his office, which was filled with participation trophies and honorary doctorates from schools that were not real.

  “Fine.” He replied after several minutes.

  “You have to film it and give it to me as proof.” I responded.

  “Fuck you, Shikobs.”

  He then threw the leathery belt outfit on his desk and left the room.

  For those interested in whether or not I still have the tape, I’d advise you to google ‘Shapiro femboy’ and see for yourself.

  Three days later, he called me back into his office with a video tape and a contract.

  “So,” Matt started, putting both objects on his desk, “Sign this. All it says is that you’re my personal bodyguard and that you will always wear a leather dominatrix outfit while on the clock. You know what the tape is.”

  “Pleasure doing business.” I replied, smirking, taking the tape and signing the contract.

  “The only pleasure I got out of this is coming up with your new name.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “You have your own magnetic field, right? Supervillain name: Magnetrix. That’s your official title while you’re here. It’s mandatory. You can’t say no or I’ll just torture you again.”

  It was really difficult for me to take him seriously. He has zero self awareness and it’s really funny, but I also had to keep a calm face under these circumstances.

  Just picture the worst man you know and imagine him saying the dumbest shit but he also has all the power so you’re forced to do whatever he says. It sucked, but I had to carry out the whole plan or none of it would work.

  So... I trained in the dominatrix outfit. I protected him from whatever tried to hurt him, as best I could. No one really tried though... not until Serenity. Not until Burnbright Studios.

  After the others were saved by Starling, Matt had a near mental breakdown and realized that he needed to talk about Serenity and the Unreliables on National Television to try and sway the public. Then he had a far more sinister idea.

  He was going to intentionally cause citywide fear targeted at trans people with his ability. He never talked about his power when we were in the room together, likely because he believed I was cured, so I never knew how willingly he would use it. But he did, and he immediately got hold of burn bright studios and hired a hacker to hijack the frequency of Komo 4 News, scheduling the broadcast at around 6:00 pm, when most people finally sit down from their jobs to watch the news.

  The broadcast room he specifically picked out had hidden cameras in the walls, which made it easy for me to hide from Serenity. It was designed during the height of covid. There were no windows, as we were in the middle of the 3rd floor.

  “10 minutes, Shikobs. The Unreliables are almost here. Get in the closet.” Matt spoke, sitting at his desk and staring at the door to outside the room.

  “I am in the closet.” I replied sarcastically.

  “Physically, not mentally. This isn’t a time for jokes. They have the list.”

  “The List?”

  “Yes, the list of mentally ill people Dave McCarthy told me to kidnap and torture, obviously.”

  “Right.”

  “The closet, Shikoba.”

  I got into the closet and waited until Serenity and Starling had entered the room.

  “Look at that, guests! Right on cue,” Matt started, greeting the two like he actually had a plan and didn’t just shove me into a closet because he was desperate, “I’ve been waiting for you specifically, Michael. Anastasia’s looking pretty swagged out, too. You’re here to kill me, right? Well, unfortunately things may not go the way you’ve planned. Shikoba, darling, it’s time for your entrance!”

  I looked around the closet and I managed to grab a belt that looked like the black and spiky dominatrix outfit I was wearing and grabbed it with the intent to use it as a weapon. It was very oddly conveniently placed.

  “Shikoba? That’s one of the names on the list!” Serenity exclaimed.

  I walked out of the closet, and instantly got a hold of the sword Serenity was holding and the grappling gun from Starling, just as Serenity said in her tale.

  “I truly love how woefully underprepared you unreliables always are. Must be the namesake.” Matt quipped in the most uninteresting way possible.

  I didn’t say anything at that moment, I just charged at Serenity, sword in one hand and belt in the other.

  “Shit!” I heard her yell before disappearing just before I reached her.

  I was really confused at first. I wasn’t used to people disappearing instantaneously, so I just charged at the other person in the room: Starling. I thrusted Serenity’s sword at them, and they managed to catch it, and we were stalemated for a bit as I tried to push them into the ground with the sword.

  “Why are you doing this, Shikoba?” A masculine voice said through the visor.

  “Revenge,” I replied, pushing them away from my sword into a corner of the room, “I don’t expect you to understand, Starling.”

  “You used to be nice, Shikoba.” Starling shouted, grabbing a large wooden coat hanger that was near the door and blocking my attacks with Serenity’s sword.

  I was cutting into it as best I could, cause I knew if I didn’t take Starling out, I wouldn’t be able to stop Serenity. I did my best to cut through the coat hanger and then managed to slice parts of Starling’s costume, reaching his skin and getting him to bleed. To convince Matt I was still on his side. But Matt wasn’t paying attention, and I was so far devoted to my own goal that I managed to hurt Starling worse until they passed out. Then Matt decided to delve into one of his monologues.

  “Out of fighting spirit already? Come on, Michael, I’m just getting warmed up. You and your piece of shit community have had it very good for a long time, and I’m just here to make sure that you lose it all. You can’t keep shoving your agenda down our throats, indoctrinating our children, and bending the government to your beckoned call. That’s our job, and I finally have the ability to make that a reality. You see, Shikoba is proof that queerness can be cured. She thought she was something called Two-Spirit, which sounds like the dumbest thing I’ve personally ever heard, but now? She’s learned the truth. She’s not both genders, because you can’t be both genders, that’s ridiculous. She’s a woman, and if it worked on her, it’ll work on the rest of Seattle. It’ll work on the rest of the world. I’m going to turn this planet into a Nazi’s paradise, and you’re too weak to stop me.” He shouted like a dumbass who was so far gone and so far up his own ass that he didn’t care who he hurt anymore.

  Suddenly, Serenity disappeared again, using the same power she did before. Matt and I just looked at each other. Starling laid bleeding on the other side of the room. I walked over to Matt and tried to help him back into his seat.

  “What did you do to her, Matt?” I asked.

  “Him. What did I do to HIM, you mean, and the answer is I have no fucking idea.” Matt replied, irritated and tired.

  “Do you know what you did to any of the people you kidnapped?”

  “Obviously not. Don’t lasers just cause you pain? Like, exorbitant amounts of pain?”

  “Nuclear Waste gives people abilities beyond the means of normal humans, Matt. I was subjected to it 200 years ago. I thought you knew that. Do you even know how you got your abilities?”

  “I don’t know, one day I just woke up with them. Caused my butler to see literal hell, it was crazy. Wait, Nuclear Waste gives you superpowers? That’s not good news for Lang Corp...”

  I sighed, turning back around to see if Starling was okay. What I saw was Serenity staring back at me with rage in her eyes.

  “Alright, bitch, show me what you got!” She yelled at me before we charged at each other.

  I managed to get the upper hand immediately because Serenity didn’t have a weapon, and I whipped her several times on the back before she found an opening and sprinted out of the room.

  “FOLLOW HER!” Matt yelled at me.

  I realized what she was doing, she probably noticed that there were no metal objects in the room. She had to have been heading somewhere with a lot of metal. I cracked a smile, Serenity knew how to stop me and she knew how to get Matt alone, which saved me the trouble of betraying Matt and ruining my entire plan. I did what Matt instructed.

  When I found her in the cafeteria, I cracked another smile and ran into the middle of the room, trying to hold off the metal objects until the right time as best I could. I had never tried before, and it only worked for a short bit.

  “Enough with the rat race,” I said, approaching Serenity to allow her to believe she had the upper hand, “I’m going to finish you off myself.”

  “I’m sure you’d like to, but you’re aware that’s not how this story goes, right?” She replied, looking past me, and holding up a single fork, “cause I have a theory I’d very much like to test.”

  She let go of the fork, and I let go of my hold, allowing all the magnetic objects in the cafeteria to slam into me with a magnetic pull as strong as Neodymium. After that, I passed out. When I came to, all of the metallic objects were lying around me, and I tried to hide my magnetic pull as I went back to the broadcast room. Everyone who was previously working here was gone except for Matt, who was lying on the floor of the broadcast room eyeless, handless, and dickless, bleeding everywhere.

  “SHIKOBS! Fuck, I am so happy to see you, Shikobs. Please call an ambulance.” Matt cried in pain.

  “My name is Shikoba. You no longer have your eyes, so I am no longer afraid of you.” I replied.

  “W-What do you mean, Shikobs?” His voice shook.

  “I was never cured, you fucking cunt.” I took out the Tomahawk I had hidden on my back the whole time and sliced his throat, then told the police to say that he’s currently healing in hospital so the public doesn’t start a riot in response to his death. Apologies, Serenity. You had to find out eventually.

  I wiped his throat blood off my Tomahawk and hung his head from my belt as I ran out of the tv studio quick enough to avoid any magnetic field that could be generated and hid in the woods again, only to begin tracking down the other scientist who kidnapped me: Johannes Von Stench.

  With Shapiro out of the picture, I could start tracking down the minor prey. The scientists who helped kidnap us, but I couldn’t go back to Phobia labs. It’d likely already been cleared out by now. I had to take a less conventional approach. Someone who I knew was working with Shapiro already.

  Two names came to mind when I first thought of who else had written the list: Dave McCarthy and Ronald Taylor. A gang leader and the leader of an assassin’s clan.

  I’ve heard a lot about the two from prior conversations with the once-remembered Matt Shapiro. Dave was an average guy, really liked the beatles, never got over high school, does a fuckton of cocaine, and leads the sinister gang around in a circle so they never have to stop robbing banks to steal money so they can buy guns and then robbing more banks.

  I never understood why they didn’t just steal the guns and then just sell the guns they stole but I get the feeling they aren’t the most clever gang this side of the cascades.

  Ronald, on the other hand, is worthy of fear. I’ve heard several rumors that he’s ex-CIA and is the one who actually killed JFK, Martin Luthor King Jr, and Donald Trump.

  You read that correctly. Donald Trump’s dead. The republican party is in absolute chaos. Whoever bought that bullet must’ve had a fuckton of money and a huge grudge. Can’t say I’m upset, either. Regardless, I had two options before me. A regular guy with Retail Store Manager energy, or a deadly assassin responsible for some of the most egregious hits in American history.

  For some, this choice may be incredibly obvious, but I already knew Ronald a little bit. I could convince him to tell me things. I also already knew where they were hiding out: Tumwater. Plus, that castle was non-metallic. Ronald liked to keep things medieval. Says it helps hide their activities best. All the electronics he needed were in a secret room somewhere behind the dining area.

  Without a second thought, I moved as quickly as I could to the hideout. By the time I got there, it had been a few hours, and the sky was starting to get dark. I made my way to the front gate, assuming they’d want to let me in. It was large and wooden, like a drawbridge over a moat but instead of a drawbridge it’s a regular door. Within moments, I heard a voice behind it.

  “Who seeks the silent predators?” a generic masculine voice spoke from beyond the door.

  “My name is Shikoba. I worked with Matt Shapiro at Phobia Labs.” I replied, earnestly.

  “One moment.” The voice called back, disappearing for a moment.

  Minutes passed before the voice came back.

  “Have you been here before?” The voice asked.

  “Once. 14 years ago.”

  The voice went quiet again, before the door began opening. Once it was fully open, I saw a short man dressed in a very sparkly, black suit with a beak attached to the hood.

  Starling.

  “You’re not in the hospital?” I asked.

  “I was. But I’m fine now.” He replied, sighing.

  “I cut you up pretty bad, bird. If you’re standing up after that, then you must have been through way more than just a couple scrapes.”

  “You have no idea. We should talk.”

  Starling came to the other side of the door and began walking back into the woods a bit. I followed him until we came across a makeshift tent and a campfire about 5 minutes north of the castle. Parked near the campfire was a sparkly motorcycle. I had to suppress my powers so it wasn’t thrust into the fire by accident. Metal burns, after all.

  “What are you doing here, Shikoba?” He asked, sitting down on a log next to the campfire.

  “I could ask you the same question, Bird.” I replied, withholding any information that he didn’t need.

  “I’m here for my dad, about why he tried to kidnap me.”

  “Your dad? That wouldn’t be...”

  “Yes. Ronald. The head of the clan. He’s my dad, and a transphobic asshole. Probably created the list as a way of trying to get me to come back to the clan.”

  “So you were who I talked to back then, huh.”

  “Appears so. You haven’t aged a day.”

  “I use a fantastic skin lotion. It’s infused with nuclear waste.”

  “Your superpower is immortality?”

  “And magnetic attraction, but you already know that part. I was born in 1821.”

  “Why were you working for Shapiro, then? Were you cured? What are your pronouns?”

  “I saw an opportunity and took it. I wasn’t cured, and I don’t care what others refer to me as. I fought you and Serenity to keep up appearances with Matt so I could pursue my true goal, killing the bastards that tortured me.”

  “Heroes don’t really kill.”

  “I never called myself a hero, bird.”

  Starling took off his mask and set it down next to him on the log. His face was completely different from how I remembered it, as he had a full beard and really nice looking short black hair.

  “Call me Caspian.” He spoke.

  “I like Bird better.” I replied.

  “... Fair enough. Would be better to not go with my real name. Should I call you Magnetrix?”

  “Ew, no. I hate that name. Shapiro picked it out for sexual harassment purposes. Magnet’s fine.”

  “Bird and Magnet. Has a ring to it. If we’re both after my dad, perhaps we should work together?”

  “Hold on, Bird, what’s your history? Could help us break your father emotionally.”

  “Long story.”

  “I don’t care. Talk, bird.”

  “Fine,” Caspian started, sighing before taking a deep breath, “I was an only child, born to a random woman from the clan that my dad married a year earlier. They divorced 6 months after I was born, after finding out how scary my dad can be. He raised me alone, trying to mold me into the femme fatale type he’d constantly see in Tarantino movies, cause that’s what he wanted. I hated it. I hated doing it, I hated having specific regimens specifically tied to my body. It made me feel constantly uncomfortable. Other clan members would yell incredibly sexual things while I was training from the viewing area. Once I went through the wrong puberty, I met another kid, a boy being trained by his mother, who was involved with the clan as well. Antonio, he was about 15. He was my first and only relationship, and gave me clarity into who I was. I struggled with gender for a long time, but finally started taking T two years ago. I tried to remain in the clan, but it was clear my dad was against what I was doing. He would constantly deadname me, force me to wear feminine outfits, train me in the same femme regimen that I grew to hate. 6 months ago, I finally escaped. Probably pissed off my dad so badly to the point where he made that list. It wasn’t until we found it again a few days ago that I learned he tried to kidnap me but had no idea what my new name was. Serenity’s friend Mylo was taken instead.”

  “Sounds traumatic. Sorry I didn’t do more to help 14 years ago.” I replied after a few moments, taking the story in.

  “It’s fine. You were focusing on less trivial matters.”

  “Actually I set a store room on fire and left.”

  “That was you? Badass.”

  “Sure was. Nuclear Waste is dangerous, especially when in the wrong hands. Be thankful Shapiro was too much of an idiot to realize the power he held, even if there’s more of this shit out there. Raveman wasn’t a thing until after I killed Shapiro.”

  “You did what?”

  “Don’t tell Serenity. She seems nice, just... She was in my way.”

  “You know she’s working on a project right now, right? A collection of stories from the other people who were kidnapped. Chances are she’ll come to you sooner or later. Bonus, my lips are sealed. Shapiro was a dickbag who needed to die, anyway. Serenity was a bit too generous.”

  “Apologies to her in the future when she finds out.”

  Serenity, I know you’re going to read this eventually, so I’m sorry I lied to you. But I don’t regret what I’ve done.

  Anyway, I stood up from the log I was sitting on and walked a little bit towards the entrance of the clan hideout, before turning back around to look at birdboy.

  “So, can we kick your clans ass now that we’ve trauma bonded?” I asked him.

  He responded by putting his mask back on and jumping from the log into the trees above.

  “Love me a trans vigilante.” I whispered to myself before hopping into the trees myself.

  It wasn’t long before we made our way back to the ruined castle hiding the Silent Predators, as we both made our way to the head of the clan’s dojo. None of the clan members tried to stop us, probably cause we were both wearing ridiculous outfits and ran at a way faster speed than any of these rookies could possibly imagine reaching. Birdboy opened the door, to which his father was waiting.

  “Ronald.” He spoke.

  “Who are you?” Ronald asked in response.

  “I’m your son.”

  There was a brief moment of silence as the two intently stared at each other, trying to predict the other's next move.

  “Anna. You’re finally home.” Ronald eventually said, breaking the silence.

  “That’s not my name, and I’m not coming home.” Birdboy replied sternly.

  “I don’t care about your Narnia fanfiction, Anna. Everyone’s been worried sick. Even Antonio misses you. He still calls occasionally.”

  “Why did you make the list, Ronald?”

  “What list?”

  “You know damn well what list.”

  “Alright, alright! I’ll answer your questions, but you gotta do something for me. There’s this billionaire upset about the laws and regulations bullshit going on in the government, and he’s paying really good money for us to take out this democratic senator from Iowa-”

  “Shut the fuck up and explain.”

  “I missed you, Anna. You’re my precious flower. My Lara Croft, my Uma Thurman. I was so upset when they couldn’t find you. We searched everywhere. Even gave that dodo kid a run for his life at the grocery store, but not even there could we find you.”

  “You were looking for my deadname, which has been legally changed as of 6 months ago. How did you find out about it?”

  “I read your Chronicles of Narnia fanfic, the sexual one between Prince Caspian and a furry-human hybrid of Aslan. You realize you wrote 7 of those, right? Anyway, I didn’t even find out until months after I made the list. Antonio sent me your A03 account. Telling ya, he calls often.”

  “Please delete that from your search history, but if you know...” Birdboy started, shutting the door, taking off his mask, and placing it on his dad’s desk, revealing to him his incredibly masculine-ly bearded face, “Then I’m going to reintroduce myself. I am not your daughter. My name is Caspian, and I’m your son.”

  Moments passed, before Ronald started chuckling to himself.

  “Okay, great trick. Well done. Did my daughter send you?” He replied.

  “In a manner of speaking.”

  “Okay, where is she? Where’s my Anna?”

  Ronalds tone changed from playful to scary within seconds. I put my hand on my tomahawk and got into a battle ready stance, looking around the room for anything metallic. Thematically, the old castle with no tech also had no visible metal.

  “She no longer exists, dad.”

  “So she’s dead, and you’ve killed her? My daughter is dead?", He got up from his chair and continued, "Okay. You want to be a man so badly? Fight me.”

  Ronald immediately pulled out two short daggers which I pulled out of his hands magnetically, his grip tightening around the now missing daggers, before throwing a punch at Birdboy. I managed to move fast enough to get between the two and stop Ronalds fist with the daggers I was now holding.

  “I don’t want to fight you, dad. I just wanted to hear you call me by my real name, but I guess that was too much to ask for,” Birdboy said, heading towards the doorway, then right before he exited the room, he continued, “You’re on Magnet’s time now.”

  I dropped my guard as he left the room, and Ronald dropped his anger.

  “Of course she brought back-up.” Ronald mumbled to himself.

  “Tell me who else was involved with Phobia Labs.” I responded.

  “Why? Who the fuck even are you?”

  “A friend of your son who was also kidnapped. Who else was involved with the list?”

  “If I tell you, are you going to kill me? They’ll just throw me into a pit.”

  “What?”

  “I dunno. Some weirdo stumbled onto the property yelling about a pond that revives you underneath the castle.”

  Ronald stood up from his desk, walked towards a cabinet, opened it, pulled out a bottle of scotch, and then downed it. It was miserable to watch.

  “Do you ever think about how kids lack respect nowadays? It’s such bullshit, some of these blue haired pronoun users don’t even give a shit about the country anymore. I mean, at least I’m doing something to make it better.” He started drunkenly.

  “You are very clearly making everything worse and I will not hesitate to murder you. Tell me who else was at the labs.” I replied.

  “My daughter just stormed out of the room, can you give me a sec?”

  I responded by punching him twice in the face and pushing him into a wall.

  “Talk.” I said, in the most intimidating voice I could muster up.

  “I don’t know shit, I swear! Dave McCarthy approached me, saying Lang wanted to kidnap a bunch of people and use the news about the layoffs as a distraction to cover up the fact that he was kidnapping people! I don’t know more than that! I just want my daughter back!” He shouted, crying.

  I kicked him in the balls.

  “Who is Dave McCarthy?” I yelled.

  “An avid Beatles fan! I met him at a trivia night!” He cried back.

  “Don’t lie to me, Ronald.” I spoke, placing one of his own daggers on his neck.

  “Okay, Okay! He’s the head honcho of the Sinister Gang! He created the list!”

  “Where is he?”

  “In an office building on 3rd and Seneca!”

  “Thank you.”

  I sliced his throat with his own dagger. It was quite poetic.

  “You’ll... regret... this...” He gargled on his own blood.

  “Oh, hush, you. If what you said earlier is true, then you’ll be back to your old self in no time. I just get the pleasure of watching a transphobic shitheel and a disappointing father choke on his own blood.” I laughed.

  Within milliseconds, he died. Maybe he got revived or something. Or maybe someone better will take his place. Regardless, I had the information I sought, so the next person on my chopping block is going to go to the end of a deep, dark dock and jump into a drowning yellow submarine.

  It took me a couple days to make it from Tumwater all the way up to Seattle, and over the course of that time I was able to rest, honing my skills, sharpening my blades, keeping a watchful eye on any colonizers that may try to approach. Fortunately, I was able to make it to Seattle safely.

  I’m not easy to keep track of.

  Eventually, I made it to the headquarters of the Sinister Gang, interestingly named ‘Sinister Headquarters’. They’re not very good at hiding, and I was able to walk through the front door.

  There was a secretary in a black outfit with the Sinister Gang logo in one of the corners of her shirt.

  “Welcome to Sinister Incorporated, do you have an appointment?” She asked.

  “I’m looking for Dave McCarthy.” I replied.

  “He’s on the third floor.” She replied.

  “Thanks.” I responded, walking up the stairs.

  Seconds later, I heard her yell “Wait a minute, Dave doesn’t have any appointments today!”, but it was too late. By that time, I was already on the third floor.

  A couple goons tried to stop me, but they both wielded metal guns, so they didn’t last long. I simply stole their weapons and then promptly shot both of them in the head at the same time before kicking in the door and aiming both of said weapons at the man sitting behind the Head Honcho desk.

  “Is this about the list?” Dave said, unfazed.

  “Yes.” I replied.

  “I don’t have it anymore. Someone took it.”

  “I don’t want the physical list, Dave. I want the person who made it.”

  “It’s not that simple, it wasn’t just made by one person.”

  I walked closer to Dave, still brandishing the handguns I took from his goons.

  “I want names, now, or you’ll have to change your name to Lucy.”

  “What?”

  “Cause I’m going to punt you into the sky. With diamonds. The diamonds being the bullets I’ll put into you if you don’t talk.” I pointed one of the handguns up against his forehead, “So talk.”

  “Jesus, fine. Listen, girlie, I’m middle class. Nobody. I can barely pay my employees as it is. In fact, my mom rents out this whole building. We just commit harmless shenanigans.”

  I pressed the other handgun into his forehead menacingly.

  “Okay, okay, fuck! Jared Lang originally put the list together to test some new state-of-the-line laser gun. He said it wouldn’t hurt anyone, it would just feel very painful. Couple days later, Ronald Taylor came into my office and asked to put his daughter on the list. Some other folks came in, dropped off names, and left without a word. The only other person who left a name with me was someone named Amelia. I don’t know her last name! I just wrote down the words and handed it off to Matt. I’m innocent, I tell ya.” Dave squealed.

  “Thanks.” I spoke, lifting off one of the guns from his forehead, “Who else was involved? There were others there. Scientists. Better not be yours, or this gun’s going to go off.”

  “I wasn’t involved with Phobia Labs, I was only involved with the list, I swear!”

  I waited a moment, staring dead into his eyes. I could see his averageness swirling around in it. He seemed like the type of person who would take his kids to see whatever new Marvel movie was coming out that month. The type of family man who still thinks Seth Macfarlene is funny. The type of absentee father who was forced to go to alcoholics anonymous but instead started drinking more. He was a middle man. A messenger. Nothing more, nothing less.

  “Got any queer kids?” I asked.

  “One. Their name is toad. Had them with my third wife, born a girl, decided that it didn't suit them. Listen, I know I don’t deserve your mercy, but I don’t care what lifestyles others have, and I still love my toad all the same.” He replied.

  I slowly put down the handguns, moving them away from Dave’s forehead. He was an asshole, but for now, not a harmful one.

  “Don’t change your name.” I spoke, before opening the door to leave the office.

  “Wait,” He chimed in right before I stepped out, “There’s a factory. In Sodo. Typical supervillain shit. One of the scientists from Phobia Labs works there now, I believe his name is Johannes.”

  “Von Stench?” I asked.

  “Yes, how did you know that name?”

  “Where’s the factory, specifically?”

  “It’s down near the Sodo industrial area. Originally a subsidiary of Lang Corp that tested the effects on Nuclear Waste on living beings. It’s mostly abandoned now, but Johannes was the last one of the workers to stick around. It’s next to the walmart.”

  I left without saying another word. I didn’t learn much from my visit with Dave, mostly just what I already knew. He was in the dark about as much as I was. As much as lot of us are. Regardless, I had the information I sought. An abandoned lang corp factory that tests Nuclear Waste. Likely the source of whatever started these vile experiments.

  Sodo wasn’t far away, and I was able to blend in around the city without attracting any attention. In a couple hours and a rather loud bus ride, I made it to the factory. The metal door near the front of the building was locked, but that wasn’t a challenge. My powers make relatively short work of said locks. I flicked my pointer finger around a bit and the doors swung open.

  The inside of the factory was dark, dusty, and wet. The place didn’t seem to be well kept, either, as it was really dirty and there were bugs and cobwebs everywhere. I did spot a dim green glow off behind the entry hallway leading into the boiling chambers. As I walked further down the hallway, the light grew brighter, before eventually I found my way to a room of many vats, yet only one seemed to be filled. Standing above the lone filled vat, was the scientist who helped kidnap me.

  “So this is where you’ve been hiding.” I spoke, no doubt frightening the british bug man, though he looked human.

  “Ah! My word, you startled me. What in good heavens are you doing here?” He replied, jittery.

  “Revenge, Stinkbug.”

  “I see. I take it you’re one of the kidnapped, then?”

  “Don’t pretend like you don’t remember me, Johannes, or I’ll have to put another tomahawk into your thorax.”

  “Magnetrix.”

  “It's just Magnet.”

  “You know, you’re the reason I was sidelined. That battle with the orange haired gal, Matt and I had planned for me to fight her, you know. But you took that away from me.”

  “Her name is Seren... wait a minute, are you gendering her correctly?”

  “Of course! Matt may have been a bumbling doofus with a biology degree from praeger University, but I do not have such quarrels with the concept of gender.”

  “Then why did you take a job watching over queer people getting tortured?”

  “Simply put, my fair fellow, I enjoy watching others suffer! The torture was rivetting, and the pay was more than enough for me to turn the other eye.”

  “So you’re just a sadist?”

  “That implies I’m getting off on the suffering of others, the schadenfreude of it all! Which is a terrible, terrible insinuation, and I am most offended.”

  There was a brief moment of silence.

  “But yes, you hit the nail on the head, as it were.”

  I immediately pulled out my tomahawk and threw it directly at Johannes, who not only caught it in midair but also shed his human skin to reveal his stink bug form. He started hovering with his human sized stink bug wings, and I pulled my tomahawk back from out of his hand.

  “Is this a fight you truly wish to partake in, Magnet?” He said, with a very shrill, bug-like voice that was much different from his normal British accent.

  “This is where the experiments with Nuclear Waste started, isn’t it? Were you the first?” I asked, keeping my guard up as Johannes hovered around the room.

  “Matt pushed me into a vat of nuclear waste and this is how I emerged. I put some droplets of the stuff into his eyes afterwards, while he was napping. Once Matt found out Lang was storing this stuff and what it could do, he worked with Lang to create the list, and opened the floor to whoever had a queer person they needed to get back at! It was a most ingenious plan, carried out by the dumbest rapscallion this side of the pond! A month was far, far too little time for his grand, glorious scheme, and admittedly, he didn’t plan accordingly, as he was a biologist and not a mechanic.”

  “So, the lasers he fired at us, they were powered by nuclear waste, and he was just too stupid to understand that it would give us superpowers? After what happened to you? After what happened to him? You better not be lying to me, Bug.”

  “Of course I’m not lying, I’m a man of my word! Plus, it doesn’t matter, you’re not leaving here alive.”

  He then started flying at me as fast as he could from across the room, so I had to think fast. I saw a loose pipe on the ceiling and immediately pulled it down, using it to smash Johannes into the closest wall. His green blood residue was left on the wall where he was forced against, and started bleeding.

  “My word, you’re quite strong.”

  “Thanks. I get it from the several times you shot me with that fucking laser!” I charged at him again, wielding my tomahawk in one hand and the metal pipe in the other.

  We clashed almost immediately, his plated arms stopping both of my attacks multiple times over as we fought around the abandoned factory. Once I managed to get a hit in with the metal pipe, his attack pattern changed, and he began hovering once more. I threw my Tomahawk at his stomach, but at the last second he shielded the attack with his armored back, and then let a stench out of his thorax.

  It was overwhelming to the point where I had to jump onto a walkway several feet above the nuclear waste filled vat. Johannes couldn’t make it. I was only able to make it due to my heightened physical abilities I’ve gathered from being hit with the Nuclear Waste Laser several times over. My tomahawk was still on the ground.

  “Marvelous work, truly, but don’t think you’ve won!” Johannes yelled before jumping directly into the filled vat.

  “Oh shit.” I whispered incredulously.

  Within moments, he arose from the vat, twice the size he just was, with two extra arms and the ability to fly.

  “My dear, you of all humans should know that the more times a powered person is exposed to nuclear waste, the more powerful they get!” Johannes laughed.

  “Yeah, you’re right. Tell me, bug, what’s the roof made out of?” I asked.

  “... Oh my.”

  I’m sure you can guess what I did next.

  I’ll give you a hint, I did not raise the roof.

  Because the roof fell on top of Johannes, crushing him right back into the vat of nuclear waste, without an escape route this time.

  I took a second to breath, jumped off the skywalk above the vat, grabbed my tomahawk, and went straight through the front door.

  Unfortunately, that wasn’t the last I saw of Johannes. Once I managed to get a considerable distance away, onto one of the many hilltops of Seattle, I saw something I should’ve seen in a movie had I not been hiding in the forest my entire life.

  I saw a 30 foot stinkfly flying directly out of the top of the factory, and away from Seattle. I’m certain it was Johannes. Who knows if he could become human anymore.

  After that, I went back to my treehouse in the woods. It’s peaceful there, and I didn’t have to control my abilities since I made sure there wasn’t anything magnetic I could attract.

  So, until next time someone calls for me, I’ll be there. Killing the colonizer's military forces.

  You’re welcome. Now I’m happy.