I loaded up Steam to find something to play and get away from any immediate fallout. My phone was already on Do Not Disturb. Matt and Leon weren’t on but I decided to kill some hours on Apex to clear my mind. Digital bloodshed was remarkably cathartic, and it actually kept me from gnawing on the bone that was my profaning sacrifice in the guise of a Facebook post. I'd eventually need to pull that bandaid off, but for now, I was content to ignore it.

  I jumped nearly a foot when I felt a tap on my shoulder. My headset fell akilter and I immediately died in the game. “What the shit!” I spun my chair around, looking straight into Danielle’s doe brown eyes. My bedroom door was closed. It had never opened.

  “I hope I’m not interrupting anything important. I usually give a nice buffer to Profanation in Deed just to make sure it’s well and truly unmendable. You made quite the stir- your mom wasn’t expecting that at all. I can’t help but feel that some of that wasn’t merely a ‘betrayal’ but an affirmation of how you actually feel. Am I wrong?” Danielle’s eyes sparkled with mirth, as if she weren’t inquiring into the very depths of my personality. If she asked if I was having a nice day or something equally banal, I did not think her face would change an iota from that gaze.

  It was uhh, I tried to say, but halted. Nothing came out. I kept trying to force an utterance but it was as if my throat refused to obey.

  “Is everything okay, Mr. Owens?” Danielle leaned down in concern. She was back to wearing more formal attire, a dark double breasted blazer. The blouse beneath was beige. A small gold necklace dangled, with a small pentagram the centerpiece. She finally wasn’t smiling, which almost felt like a relief, strangely.

  I was feeling a sense of rising panic, but I could breathe fine. Every time I tried to say something to Danielle, it stopped short. My body simply refused to acquiesce. I gestured futilely at my mouth with a lot of head shaking. Danielle merely stared in confusion. I gave up with a defeated shrug.

  Danielle puzzled for a moment before giving a shout. “Oh Carl, could you attend to me for one moment?”

  In a short moment, my door opened and Carl plodded in. He looked at both of us. "Sorry," Danielle offered. "It's poor form to use an underling's souls but you can't seem to gainsay me at the moment." She gave a sort of wince in apology. "Has anything strange happened recently to Jeremy?"

  "Oh yeah, he had a hot girl come over and stay over."

  I wanted to throttle Carl.

  “Anything… with his Implement?” Danielle prodded.

  “Oh the knife thingy? Yeah he said something all holier-than-thou and then the knife got all hot.”

  “Okay Carl, I know remembering things isn’t your forte, but what did he say, exactly?” Danielle’s voice actually had a bit of irritation to it, the first time I had heard it. Even after the time when she put Carl to sleep.

  Carl shrugged. “Told Tracy that he would only… OH. He was going to tell her when you showed up. Wouldn't talk to you until then. Dude you fucked up bad." Carl directed the last bit to me.

  "Shut up, Carl." My eyes widened in surprise. Had I fixed it somehow? I turned to Danielle, opened my mouth, and nothing but full awkward silence spilled out. It seemed to be keeping me from talking with her specifically.

  “Pretty sure you can’t talk to her, dude,” Carl repeated my conclusion out loud.

  “I get that now, Carl. I’m assuming I can’t tell you to tell her anything either.” I tried anyways, and was met with straining vocal cords, and empty silence.

  “I didn’t catch that dude, can you speak up?” Carl leaned in, hand cupped over his ear. Ignoring him, I turned to Danielle with visible pleading.

  “Mr. Owens, I didn’t think…” She paused, uncharacteristically at a loss for words. “The Implement is used for binding. It can bind you to your words just as easily as it chains a loathsome slug like Carl to you. It is incredibly dangerous to do so, because it will hold you the same, Mr. Owens. Carl, leave.” Carl ambled out of the room. “The only method by which the Implement’s bindings can be undone is to break it. This breaks all bindings. Such an Implement can only be destroyed by the one that conceived it. In this case, from mine to yours. Fortunately, you managed to bind yourself in a way that I believe can be achieved and ended- you merely must invite Tracy here.

  “On that note, I must inform you that Wayward Souls does not take referrals. Our vetting process is internal and does not require assistance even from our Lieutenants. I understand the zeal to employ your friends and family. After all, Wayward Souls is an exciting opportunity to work for a world-renowned brand. That said, I must reiterate that although Tracy may come and inquire, it will be a futile gesture. For the sake of completing your geas, she should come however. Go, contact her.” Danielle gave a brusque wave.

  Feeling well and truly diminished, I slumped as I spun my chair around and picked up my phone.

  Oh holy shit, that’s a lot of missed calls. And texts. And messages on my Facebook. And emails. And Twitter DMs- Jesus, I hadn’t used that one in ages. Immediately my phone lit up from Lizzie calling. For the 27th time.

  I rejected the call and got a text sent off to Tracy. After that, it was a lot of impatient waiting for her to arrive.

  Fortunately Tracy was just as excited to talk to Danielle as I was for my promise to be fulfilled. She arrived quickly and was let in. "You fucker, why did I even go home?" she said sourly. Tracy had, however, changed and looked like she had freshened up. As soon as she got into my room she looked Danielle over and immediately I could see the disappointment.

  Tracy pursed her lips. “This is her? She looks pretty ordinary.”

  “My attire and presentation are entirely professional, Miss Leone. Wayward Souls expects a certain level of presentation for its liaisons to mortal prospects. I apologize if it does not meet your expectations, however this assemblage has been documented to lend itself to the best rapport with prospective recruits. As a recruiter, I must advise you that as a recruit, you too are 'pretty ordinary.'"

  Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

  Tracy huffed petulantly. "Well, what do I need to do to qualify?"

  Danielle's perfect smile leapt up to full radiance. "Oh, that’s easy. Keep doing what you’re doing. If it interests Wayward Souls… I believe the saying is ‘Don’t call us, we’ll call you.’” Her response dripped smugness.

  Tracy frowned even harder, if that were possible. “Fuck you. What the fuck does Jeremy have going for him? He’s blander than oatmeal.”

  “Hey, I’m right here,” I said, a bit testily.

  “Pliability. He still can conceive of what he may be. You, unfortunately, are set. Your clay has been in the kiln. However, there is another role that may suit you."

  Tracy rolled her eyes.

  Danielle's smile took on a near mocking gleam. "Are you interested? I must hear affirmation to continue."

  Tracy chuffed out a sigh. "May as well give me the sales pitch."

  "Mr. Owens is in service to Hell and has the power to bring mortals under his control via his Implement. However, his work requires different tools for different jobs. Think of Carl. If he were asked to provide a nice dinner, he would likely order in from Olive Garden. If he were told to cook a nice dinner, he would make ramen noodles and add an egg to 'make it fancy'. However if told to draw, he would create smut to his demanding standards. Mr. Owens doesn't have time to direct Carl everyday. He requires independent thinkers who will do as he asks without fine-tuned guidance. Those mortals who side with Mr. Owens of their own choosing are part of his diabolic congregation. You retain your free will, do as you are told, and receive boons in return- none so potent as the Implement, mind. But you would still be rewarded. I was going to explain this to Mr. Owens alone, but he managed quite the error in judgment, so here we are.

  "The other reason I wished to speak with him was to inform him what to expect with this newly-profaned site. The sorts of travelers he might encounter, what benefits it proffers, and the like. Since I have spoken with you, Miss Leone, Mr. Owens' promise should be fulfilled and he can speak to me again." Danielle looked at me expectantly while Tracy continued to pout.

  "Uh yeah I think so," I tentatively affirmed. Inwardly, I was relieved. Even though it was only one specific thing, barring myself from being able to do it was frightening. That gave me a horrifying thought- “Wait, what if I swore to do something really dumb like ‘never be afraid again’?”

  Danielle frowned. “Please refrain from using it for any binding in general. Such oaths should not be sworn lightly. Should you be incapable of upholding your end, the Implement reaps your soul, and you cease for most purposes to exist. Your soul can still be put to work in certain ways- none pleasant for you. May I continue?"

  I nodded, chagrined.

  "Your humble little apartment is now a haven. Denizens of Hell, other Lieutenants, even unaligned malcontents may seek refuge here. The minimums of hospitality should be shown to them, if able. Food, drink, a place to rest. Anyone here, including yourselves, are not able to be magically observed- you may not be scryed upon. You will rest more fully and deeply here. Innocents tend to feel an aversion to this place. That includes deterring observation. A scream might sound more like an angry yell, or the scent of blood may smell like burnt food. Feel free to work your dark deeds here, you should be safe from most mortal observers.”

  "Wayward Souls would like to congratulate you as well for your actions thus far. Your first boon will simply be one of vitality. You will heal faster, recover from illness quickly. You'll find yourself stronger, faster, more vigorous. It's Wayward Souls' way of rewarding you, while also ensuring your survivability. In fact, it's been found to increase time of service almost twofold." Danielle was beaming again by this point.

  “Umm… Time of service?”

  “Well of course. There is a war going on, constantly. Did you think there were no risks to yourself in this line of work? You are still a neophyte with little to worry about. As you become a more valued resource to Wayward Souls, you will become a more appetizing target. When a Lieutenant has accrued a sizable retinue of souls and a large congregation, they become the obvious weak point- eliminate the Lieutenant and you eliminate the entire threat. Do not presume that the use of assassins is beneath Heaven."

  "Shit," Tracy murmured.

  “Uh. Yeah.” Of course there’d be risks. And not just the spiritual kind. I was getting ready to work myself up into a lather about it, I considered. There was the possibility this would be the winning side. After all, things hadn’t felt very heavenly lately. Maybe Hell was already winning. That was probably just me reaching, but I let it reassure me as Danielle continued.

  Danielle leaned forward. I felt a sense of trepidation. How would this bestowal happen. Would it be something like Carl? A vixen dispensing the barest of intimate gestures? Would it be even warmer and more inviting? Or perhaps it’d be some crucible, pain indescribable. Perhaps all these inviting overtures were to tempt me into the tortures of hellfire and eternal torment. Danielle's eyes met mine as she raised a hand. I blanched slightly as the hand approached my face.

  "Boop," Danielle said gleefully as her pointer finger pressed my nose. Her smile, a grin of mischief, reverted back to her placid salesperson smile. "Sorry Mr. Owens, just a spot of fun."

  As soon a she touched my nose, I felt an electric thrill of energy course through me, and my digits trembled in nervous agitation. I felt as if I had just awoken from the best sleep of my life- no, that I was awake for the first time. I could see more crisply, even feel more. The slight chill in my room, from keeping the thermostat low, danced across my skin. It was amazing and exciting and fucking frightening.

  "Holy shit, everything was so dull before," I said in awe.

  "Yes. Such are the perks offered by Wayward Souls. You are not only improved for the work ahead, but you can also indulge in your life as well. Wayward Souls cares about your work and your leisure.

  “The last thing to work on before you are truly left on your own- gather a congregation. Three members to start is sufficient. After that, I'll only be checking in sporadically. Unlike the other tasks, there is no definitive way to seal it with your Implement, it's all about having a group of willing servants. Give this group a sermon of your own words, and it should be sufficient. To be regarded as a member of your congregation, a simple oath must be sworn. To retain free will, the oath must be made in free will- the Implement may not be used. Your congregation will be autonomous, but with the right enticements, should be bound to you. Until the congregation is assembled, you will not be able to grant them any boons. Once you have gathered them together, we can begin to discuss how to reward your followers." Danielle folded her hands and regarded me with placid inquiry.

  "Just get three people together and spout some shit? That sounds pretty easy," I said.

  Danielle frowned. "Reverence for the divine is not requisite to the sermon or for a congregation, but Wayward Souls encourages the use of sermons to build team morale and give a sense of direction to your congregation. Fifty percent planning, fifty percent pep talk- one hundred percent effective. While ‘spouting some shit’ would fulfill the goal, it’s not really what one should strive for as a Lieutenant.”

  “Uh yeah, understood. Sorry.”

  "That's it, I'll keep in touch. Ciao. Miss Leone, please consider joining his congregation. Oh- you might be getting your first visitor. Very exciting!"

  "What?" I asked. As soon as the query came, a rapping drummed on the front door.