Moving to another city and the subsequent job hunting is a rather strenuous process. Since my laptop is still buried deep in the bowels of my luggage, I can't even rely on video games to help stave off the stress. Luckily, the DISCORD group on Discord (heh) was accessible on my phone and watching the interactions between try hard roleplayers never gets old.

  Heh. It's like a bunch of scientists arguing which branch of science is the best, except you know, it's all Chinese make believe.

  That's right. It's been nearly a week since my last interaction with the server and I've just been lurking since then. I'd find it flattering that someone called SeventhDaughter is interested in me if I wasn't pretty sure it was a thirty year old man behind a screen. On the other hand, FlyingFateWeaver has been singing my praises ever since. Apparently, he managed to form a Golden Core and used his newfound prowess to centralize power, forming the Fate Weaving Sect which climbed the ranks extremely fast, thanks to being in a low level cultivation world. Or something like that, the context clues from his messages weren't exactly painting the most detailed picture.

  Eyo? A new cultivator has appeared and dives straight right in.

  Jeez, new guy goes hard right off the bat. Tribulation is a common word to be thrown around in cultivation stories. It's basically the Heavens themselves deciding that you deserve to be politely escorted out of the mortal coil. Sometimes, it's a natural side effect of cultivation breakthroughs, a midterm exam if you will. Sometimes, it's retribution for something, perhaps you've reached too far in your search of Divinity, or perhaps you've massacred a thousand cultivators and slurped up their immortal souls.

  Or it could just be God's punishment for being a furry. In Chinese High Fantasy, normal animals can, for lack of a better term, evolve like a Pokemon. They either become Demonic Beasts that roam the lands causing mass mayhem, or become sentient and gain humanoid forms,. Most of the time, the Heavens find these to be unnatural creatures and give them a test to prove that they are worthy of existing. These tests usually comes in the form o laser guided lightning bolts.

  I am now morally obligated to help this culture person in any way I can.

  This is actually an interesting conundrum. In most cases, surviving Tribulation is a matter of matching your Qi, your heart, mind and soul, with the mass of Qi that forms the wrath of Heaven. If you remain standing at the end, congratulations, you've passed the test. If you die, well, you're dead. Or reincarnated into a turtle. Depends on if the Heavens were feeling peckish that day.

  Still, that means Tribulations are usually solo encounters and any form of outside intercession is useless at best and harmful at worst. Especially since Chinese Fantasy worlds usually have emphasis on the concept of Balance and challenges, like Tribulations, are naturally scaled towards...

  Wait a minute.

  There are some games where the Tribulation scaling can be cheesed with proper timing. Since most artifacts have separate spiritual defenses to the cultivator wielding them, they generally take more damage from Tribulations. And because they use the cultivator's Qi pool as their own, having artifacts equipped actually result in the cultivator taking more damage than if they face Tribulation empty handed.

  This is important because the New Cultivator character is definitely a sword artifact wielder.

  Miao Nyan was the youngest of nine sisters. Life as a small cat is a harrowing ordeal deep in the Jetwood Rainforest. Not only must one worry about food, water and shelter, one must also be aware of predators, or even worse, the rampages of Demonic Beasts. Six of Miao Nyan's sisters have died before they were found by a kindly old man. While her sisters lost themselves in the man's pampering, Miao Nyan watched in fascination as the old man swung his blade a thousand times in the light of dawn, a thousand times under the sun's highest peak and a thousand times as the gods hung the stars in the sky.

  When the old man's powerful Qi coalesced and allowed Miao Nyan and her sisters, Miao Miao and Miao Miu, to reach a higher level, Miao Nyan's sisters left to find their fortunes in the wider world.

  "Your sisters have left the nest, Young Nyan. Are you sure you don't wish to do the same?"

  It was with firm determination and a steeled heart that Miao Nyan gave her response.

  "I will stay with you until you drive me away, Elder."

  And so Nyan learned to swing her blade a thousand times in the light of dawn, a thousand times under the sun's highest peak and a thousand times as the gods hung the stars in the sky.

  It was an idyllic life, but one that wasn't meant to last. For instead of driving Nyan away, the Honored Elder was the one who left.

  "Thank you for staying with me until the end, Young Nyan. I only wish... I could stay with you. Live... your life... to the fullest... daughter."

  With those last words, the old man's body dissolved into light and his Qi scattered in the winds, leaving Nyan alone with her tears and a collection of nine swords.

  And so Nyan continued her life of swinging her blade a thousand times in the light of dawn, a thousand times under the sun's highest peak and a thousand times as the gods hung the stars in the sky.

  The next obstacle to Nyan's training came in the form of roaring winds and darkening skies. Nyan's fur stood on end as a presence, judging but not malicious, weighed down upon her. The urge to prove herself - to the world? to herself? to something incomprehensible? - echoed deep in the core of her very being.

  And Nyan knew. Tribulation comes.

  Nyan knew how to swing a sword. She can cleave a Redwood in twain with a swing. She can split rivers to cross them with a swing. She can even slice space itself and move at the speed of light with a swing. But she knew, with the certainty of an oriole stalking a cicada, that she can not slice through the Heavens themselves with a thousand swings.

  Even the DISCORD, which appeared as she was starting to lose hope, was of little aid. While some of the strange beings - cultivators? - honestly wished to help, the Violet Spiritualist person made Nyan's skin crawl and she had to waste some of her valuable Qi to cleanse her mind.

  Thunder roared and Nyan knew she was out of time.

  Discard her precious swords? The last remaining mementos she had of her master? Preposterous!

  But the thunder crashed and the sky lit up blue and despite her hesitation, Nyan threw away all nine blades across the clearing. If she was to be destroyed, then her master's memories will not be destroyed with her.

  "Gaaaah!"

  Lightning struck, not in one place but split across ten different spots, one for Nyan and one for each of her swords.

  "Nooo!" Nyan yowled, glaring angrily at the sky, desperately cycling her Qi to repel the divine lightning from her skin.

  Live... your life... to the fullest... daughter.

  Nyan gasped, her Qi barrier fluctuating dangerously for a split second.

  "Have I been living all this time?"

  Electricity crawled across Nyan's fur, but enlightenment can allow cultivators to perform insane feats, feats such as ignoring a lightning bolt currently in the process of frying you.

  You have studied the blade. You have felt the blade. You have embraced the blade. Now, you must discard the blade.

  Nyan has spent every single second of her life swinging her blade. She did not know how to enjoy the beauty of the night sky. She did not know how to relax under a tree to the sounds of a bubbling creek. She did not have friends. There was only the sword.

  "I see."

  Nyan narrowed her eyes, flexing her Qi one more time to push back the lightning, and right before the sparks could close in on her once more, she drew from the well deep within her. In her paw, Qi coalesced and solidified into a familiar form.

  "I am the sword! I refuse your judgment! Spirit Sword of Solemnity!"

  She swung her sword, her soul given form, and the skies split.

  "Gah."

  Nyan stumbled put stayed on her feet, her Spirit Sword slowly dissolving into Qi and getting absorbed back into her body. At her feet lay a sword. Just one. It didn't look familiar at all but Nyan knew, it was all nine of her master's swords fused into one. Just as she knew that the sword will never cut anything it didn't mean to cut every again.

  Nyan didn't hesitate and pressed her paw on the large glowing Y, right before collapsing. As consciousness fled, Nyan felt a familiar aura of Qi hovering over her protectively.

  I'm sorry master... no, Father. I'm sorry for not living my life to the fullest. I'll do better from now on.

  I stared at the sword lying on my table, delivered to my doorstep by my usual online store delivery guy. The sender said "Miao Nyan, New Cultivator".

  The name is hilariously on point and everything was suspicious as all hell, but it really was a beautiful piece. It also wasn't sharp. I tested it on my finger and it didn't even draw blood. A decorative piece, nothing more.

  Maybe Nyan here found my name and address in a social media site? I wouldn't be surprised. Kinda surprising that someone would go this far to send a gift.

  In-character minion get, I suppose? Still, I can't have a minion named NewCultivator. That's just weird. Besides, as a fellow weeb, she (or more likely a he behind a screen) deserves a matching weeb name. Besides, cats have nine lives.

  Yeah, let's not go that far.