Chapter Thirty-Three: Vertical Eight Hundred Meters

  What is the easiest thing in the world to turn a calm person into a sarcastic one? Elise didn't know before, but now she can tell you very seriously: it's when you take the elevator on the 20th floor of an ordinary residential building and press the button for the first floor to go to the nearby supermarket to buy a bottle of soy sauce. As a result, when the door opens, you find that outside is waiting for the elevator is Ox-Headed Horse-Faced, and in the background is a Mrs. Meng selling mysterious soup made from unknown herbs at the bridgehead...

  Airi is now in a state of madness with various spit points and heavenly thunder.

  Before the transmission, Eriol clearly remembered that her surroundings were a desolate mine cave with pitch darkness and littered with abandoned mining tools, what a perfect scene for adventure and monster grinding for a novice. But after coming out of the transmission array, how did it suddenly change to a strange and exotic landscape filled with giant spores emitting a faint blue glow, like an advanced training point in another realm?

  There are still some familiar broken tools on the ground, indicating that this is indeed the transmission point established by the dwarves at the beginning, and not letting Xiaoluo play a second time-travel.

  But Ilya and others are not nearby. They may have gone out to find a way out.

  "This bunch of idiots, don't they know that after getting into trouble the most taboo thing is not to wait for rescue at the original location but instead run around everywhere!?" Elisha said with a hint of dissatisfaction.

  The mercury lamp glanced at her and said faintly: "You seem to care about them so much? They're just friends you've known for two months, is it worth taking such a risk?"

  Little Lori took out the red butterfly hair tie that could quickly restore magic power and tied her long hair into a ponytail. "Hey, you're shouting for double ponytails over there, try using one hair tie to tie two ponytails!" Then she took out the two infinite bullet handguns: "Mercury Lamp, you should know, I'm an orphan who grew up in an orphanage. I've never felt affection, only the friendship of my companions who grew up with me in the orphanage. To me, friends I acknowledge are my family! Do you understand?"

  "...just an old good man." The mercury lamp hummed softly.

  Elisha didn't hear it, she just thought it was the usual silence of the cold president and didn't mind: "Alright, let's get going. Hopefully we can find them before Ilya gets too hungry to move."

  He recalled Elijah's terrible stomach and even the mercury lamp above his head couldn't help but let out a cold sweat.

  The little loli walked a few steps forward and then stopped awkwardly: "Which way...?"

  In front of them were three forks in the road, and heaven knew which one the five-man squad had taken.

  "You can lie down on the ground and take a closer sniff."

  "I'm such an idiot for asking you for advice...... And don't even mention me in the same breath as that guy Li Hua!!" Elisia shouted, jumping up.

  The mercury lamp gazed at the excited little loli with a look of disdain and contempt in its eyes: "I really don't know how to describe you. With an IQ that's not low, why can't you even notice this? Those guys' bodies must be full of the stench of mouse people's blood, right? Or do you think someone among them will use water-based magic and then the whole team takes a bath?"

  “……”

  Eriol was misled by her own imagination and had to sniff the strong smell of blood while crying and crawling into the middle fork.

  After a while.

  "Wait a minute! Actually, I don't even need to sniff the ground to smell the bloody smell in the air, do I?!"

  The little loli clearly saw the expression on Shuǐyín Lǎn's face change from calmness to "you finally understand".

  ================================I am a divider================================

  In the vast cave where you can drive in, there are mushroom-shaped or cauliflower-shaped spore plants growing everywhere. They emit beautiful and dazzling blue light on their own in this dark world, reflecting the strange rocks around them and the mini waterfalls formed by the underground river seeping down from the ground above, forming a special scene that is both strange and beautiful. In this beautiful picture, two lovely lolitas wearing gorgeous Gothic costumes walked side by side like sisters, becoming the finishing touch of the painting - this scene can be taken as a promotional short film for some fantasy blockbuster without using computer special effects.

  It's a pity that there are no lolicon fans or weird uncles nearby, otherwise it would be drooling all over the place now.

  Although there was no saliva from the unscrupulous old men on the ground, there were other things. For example, this corpse of a monster that seemed to walk upright like a lizard had caused Eriol's high alertness. Its outer skin was an ominous dark red color and very hard, with sword marks all over it. But even the most severe wound on its back, which was clearly caused by Iria's twin swords, did not form a fatal injury. It can be imagined how difficult the battle was for those five people at that time.

  This big lizard... okay, not the kind that can fly in the sky. This lizard monster finally died from a burst head, its two big eyes are now a pair of blood-congealed holes, only Granna with the highest agility could do this. At that time, her dagger must have pierced through the monster's eyes and then damaged its brain - a critical hit.

  The monster's claws shone with a metallic luster, and Eriol lifted it up to take a closer look, shocked to find that in the dark crevices of its claws were fragments of iron skin torn from Batoru's shield. Being hit by this thing would definitely hurt.

  "What do you think of this ugly creature?" Eriol asked as she stood up from the ground.

  "A close-range creature with strong physical defense capabilities. Its front claws are powerful and sharp, accompanied by venom. From its appearance and the records in the literature, it looks very similar to a demonic lizard - if that cheap brother of yours didn't mess up the data he gave me."

  "May I ask how many Gs of files that lolicon has stored in your little brain?"

  "…Do you want me to open it for you?"

  "Your proposal is too absurd." Eriol shook her head, ignoring the scattered blue-black skinned corpses of the low-level demonic creatures around the demonized lizard corpse that resembled a deformed big-headed doll. "Let's go, we're not far from them. But why are there demons here? Shouldn't they be basking in the sun and making soy sauce on the Despair Continent?"

  "Maybe they dug an underwater tunnel."

  "…should I praise their iron spirit for digging through the earth's crust and working hard on top of the magma layer?"

  The two lolis who had finished their daily routine continued on, but due to the corpses of the magical creatures from earlier, they proceeded with caution and at a much slower pace. However, after about ten minutes or so, on a large road lined with giant spore plants on both sides, Eriol discovered her destination for this trip.

  Spore plants emitting pale blue and light purple glows scatter stardust-like powder, likely their seeds, whenever they are lightly touched. Amidst this dazzling scenery, Ilya and the others were engaged in a fierce battle with a large group of magical creatures led by the demonized lizardmen. If accompanied by a solemn yet exhilarating pipe organ melody, it would be a classic epic scene.

  So 3D movies and all that are rubbish, only experiencing the live atmosphere in person is the real deal - fans can attest to this.

  It stands to reason that at this time, Eriol should have used her sweet voice to issue a roar that could overturn a pile of weird uncles, holding double guns and rushing over while suppressing with an extremely fierce firepower, then making a gorgeous aerial turn and landing on a large rock next to the crowd, accompanied by exciting music, shining brightly and making a stunning debut - as for President-sama, sorry, can only temporarily lose to the protagonist's halo this great buff.

  But the little loli hesitated. Because Batulu was in the team, she couldn't guarantee that this shameless man would keep the two extraordinary weapons in her hands secret, or he wouldn't blackmail her with it.

  Firearms are far too advanced for a world in the Cold Arms era. Even if these two handguns can only fire elementary spells, it's still the same. On the train, I only saw my friends and the unlucky Lone Wolf members and ordinary civilians. The former won't say anything out of place, while the latter wouldn't be believed even if they did speak up, so there's no problem. But once others discover this, it will absolutely cause a huge stir. If the dog-blood-like secret struggle between the three major empires unfolds around me, my comfortable and peaceful life in the academy will be completely ruined.

  Eriol naturally couldn't tolerate such a thing happening, so she switched her handgun to a staff and rushed up to help with the mercury lamp. This time, the chairman didn't hide that he could use advanced magic, and it seemed that having a magical person was more acceptable than having an overly powerful firearm.

  Although this guy is far from being comparable to firearms - even if you were to exchange him for a flame cannon, it wouldn't be enough.

  A monster with high physical defense doesn't necessarily have low magical defense. This demon, known as the Demonized Gecko, used its charred and smoking head to sternly warn her once.

  Then the little loli was pulled into hatred.

  You said you had nothing to do, so you used the Lei system magic to give someone a makeover. Not only did you fail, but also didn't even notice that the person's face was left unrecognizable, making it impossible for them to go out in public. Otherwise, they would definitely have their neighbors call the police and come after you relentlessly.

  After her strongest single-target spell, Thunderclap Flash, was declared invalid, Eriol only managed to narrowly avoid the demonized lizard's passionate hug with an ungraceful tumble under the warning of her precognitive danger skill. Meanwhile, Mercury Lamp transformed his feathers into a one-handed sword and flapped his wings for a short-distance extreme acceleration, leaving a deep wound visible to the bone on the lizard's chest.

  Maybe you don't need a sword, but instead use your bare hands and a single palm to take it down instantly - just like that unlucky kid, Cang Xing Shi.

  "Hmm, is your power slightly weaker than before?" The mercury lamp floated in front of Eriol and frowned, "Thicker skin than I imagined."

  Your carefree appearance makes it impossible for even a powerful warrior like Iri, wielding a massive two-handed sword with all his might, to land a hit that's more than just a scratch on the surface of your skin, let alone reach your bones! How can this be?!

  For the sudden appearance of Eriol and Suigintou, the five people who were lost took more than half a day to react. Then, Rihwa appeared in front of Eriol like a red whirlwind: "Oh! Little Eriol, you really came after me because you were worried about me? I'm so happy!"

  If it were only this slightly yuri-suspicious phrase, Eriol would have endured. But that pervert woman actually came at her with a century-hugging pig-brother-like appearance (this term is accurate), tears streaming down her face and snot running from her nose, arms wide open, so in the next second she was kicked flying by Little Rori without any suspense.

  "You're still fighting, can't you be serious for once!!" Since Sophia, Khasi and Cecilia who were in charge of the tsukkomi weren't there, Granna's tsukkomi seemed a bit lacking. But that was okay, there was still a poisonous-tongued little puppet beside her.

  "Don't mind them. The so-called main character is a special existence that can kiss their lover as if nothing's wrong even when a curse is thrown right in front of them, and emerge unscathed amidst the turbulent magic. These two perfectly fit the definition of a main character."

  From the spore plant group, Li Hua emerged covered in sparkling small seeds all over his body, looking like a giant firefly. Upon hearing this, he smiled and said: "Is it a lover? I understand. Little Aili, let's do it again?"

  "Come on! Do you think this is a movie shoot where you can just NG (no good) and retake?!"

  As expected, this group of people will immediately switch to daily mode as soon as they gather together, no matter what the situation around them is?

  The demonized lizard didn't care about the daily life of the soy sauce department, it incited its lower demons to continue attacking people, completely forgetting how the wounds on its body came from. Then it was cut into a dozen or so pieces by the mercury lamp that could be taken directly for barbecue - if anyone wanted to eat it... Okay, I forgot that Eliya is here, he's obviously willing to try any dish made with anything.

  "Now, who can tell us where we are?" After Granana took out the ingredients and cooked a plain but edible dinner that wouldn't make anyone feel unwell, Eriol took her share and sat down on a rock to tidy up her hair.

  Everyone shook their heads. Okay, it doesn't matter where this is anymore, what's important is...

  "Did you find your way back just now?"

  Shake head again — Oh, Michele however is tilted head: “We are in the cave inside right? So isn't it as long as we drill upwards then can go out?”

  "This is indeed a good method…… If we had a mole-shaped digging machine (those who don't know, please find the truth in episode 19 of "ToLove" season 1), I would absolutely take Michelle's suggestion. But we don't have such a divine artifact that can save the world by digging a hot spring, so don't you think it's a bit too exaggerated to dig through a mountain with human power?"

  "Uh, which means we're stuck?" Granna asked uncertainly.

  "Hey, getting lost in a strange place, monsters roaming around, limited supplies, damaged equipment... are we playing survival of the fittest or something?" Eriol counted on her fingers and said, "Alright, who has a hearthstone, hurry up and take it out."

  That thing is certainly impossible to exist.

  Li Hua was crying hysterically on the side, wailing: "It's all over, my great dream of becoming a goddess in an all-girls dormitory! My lovely junior sisters whom I haven't even met yet! Waaahhh, you're leaving me like this?!"

  But at this time, Eriol had already lost even the mood for sarcasm.

  Then this lily girl, without anyone stopping her, became more and more outrageous. She saw that she had flown over and hugged Eri from the rock, then quickly pushed the little loli who hadn't reacted yet to the ground and pressed her under her body. With one hand, she pressed down on both of her wrists, restricting her movements, and then leaned down...

  Fine, everything has been going perfectly along the loving yuri route so far. If nothing else happens, it should be time for Li Hua's routine electrotherapy session next. However, there is a thing in this world called an unexpected joy that can make everyone who has experienced it recall the situation at the time and cry silently while vomiting three liters of blood, unable to do anything but lament the goddess of fate. This girl was born with a black belly!

  A rustling sound of spore plants being pushed away by some creature arose, followed by the appearance of two mustachioed, rotund beings with waistlines as wide as their height, which was no more than a head taller than Eriol, in humanoid form, at the position above Li Hua Yin and Eriol's heads.

  Eerie silence.

  "Naisuto, are humans now able to give birth to children with the same sex?"

  "I don't know, Randall. After all, I'm also seeing a human for the first time."

  At this moment, the glorious and young race of humanity, with its brilliant history, great achievements, and countless legendary heroes, had its honor, known as dignity, turn into smoke in the sky and fragments on the ground.

  Alyssa, disregarding the risk of falling over, lifted her leg and kicked Li Hua into mid-air to do a high-difficulty gymnastics move. Then she flipped over, sat up, tidied herself up, and with a calm and elegant demeanor, asked the two creatures in front of her:

  "Are you two Ironforge guards?"

  After the fall of the festival, humanity's excellent quality called calmness also turned into historical dust that drifted with the wind.

  No matter how absurd and over-the-top their first meeting was, they were after all sworn allies since ancient times. After clearing up the misunderstanding that made Grana want to drag Kratia, Cecilia or Sophia down from the surface of the earth to rant about - "Humans can also have children with the same sex" - the number one heavenly mistake, everyone sat down and started sharing intelligence.

  There's actually no useful intelligence on the human side - do you expect a group of poor kids who are lost in life to tell you where the nearest soy sauce store is?

  "Aw, I thought that after meeting humans, I could finally leave this place. Didn't think you guys wouldn't know the way either, what a hassle."

  "Is there something going on outside?" Michelle asked with her head tilted.

  "Ah, you don't know yet. We who have moved to the underground world beneath Grestrik Mine recently discovered a demon's teleportation gate deep in the ground." Nester stroked his whiskers and said to Misha, "So we two were sent out by the clan leader to contact the human kingdom and ask them to send reinforcements as soon as possible."

  “…Even if today is April 1st, this joke is too much.” Granna tried to squeeze out a smile, but it turned into a strange expression that made Michelle curious and reached out to pull her hand.

  "Dwarves never joke!" Nester said discontentedly, staring at Granna.

  Dwarves are also famous for their humorless nature and each of them being a heavy drinker. Granna knew it, but the news was too shocking, she didn't want to believe it from the bottom of her heart.

  "Trigger legendary quest 'Demon's Gate'. During the quest, your Chi will be restricted to level 3 in normal state, magic and exchange items are not affected. If monsters burst out of the ground before contacting the Human Empire, the task fails immediately, randomly erasing an item or skill, and sealing Chi level to 2 at the same time. Successfully contact the Human Empire, reward Oath Victory Sword's matching scabbard Avalon; kill Demon leader Losa, reward Golden Griffin pet egg one; destroy Demon transmission gate, reward 4th-level Chi usage permission, Four-winged War Angel Dream Feather summoning right and 10,000 reward points."

  Recalling the demonized face of Gidorah that could scare little kids to tears, and thinking about the unprecedented rich rewards, Eriol realized that this time's trouble was big.

  "Alright, it seems we have to report the situation as soon as possible." Li Hua spread his hands, "But the problem is where are we exactly now? If we can't find an exit, I'm afraid we'll starve to death before those demons get us."

  Randall pointed to the left front and said, "Just now we found a path leading to the upper layer from that place. There are no spore plants growing there anymore. And here where we are now still has some, which means this place belongs to the underground world. Well, it should be said that it is the topmost layer of the underground world. According to the experience passed down by our dwarf ancestors, the vertical distance from here to the ground surface is approximately 800 meters. The road ahead is still very long."

  Eriol suddenly had an urge to travel back in time a few hundred years and slap the designer of that vertically sprawling, extremely painful 800-meter transmission array right in the face.