[For Fun!] My Name Is (Sonic/Joshua)
Long Play #1
Sonic and Joshua find themselves in a classroom. As Joshua types away, Sonic gets ticked off.
Sonic: Hey, Man! What're you doing here? I don't remember seeing you before.
Joshua: I'm here to write for some guy called “Sonic.” Act like you don't see me.
Sonic: Hey, Hey! I'm Sonic!
Joshua: What?
Some incredible music picks up.
Sonic: Hi! My name is-
Joshua: What?
Sonic: My name is-
Joshua: Who?
Sonic: My name is, slicka slicka, Slim Speedy!
Joshua: Hi! My name is-
Sonic: Huh?
Joshua: My name is-
Sonic: What?
Joshua: My name is, fliki fliki, Fake Shady!
Sonic: Excuse me!
Joshua: Can we have the attention of the class, for one second?
Sonic: Hi, kids! Do you like violence?
Kids: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Sonic: Wanna help me stick my quills through Robotnik's eyelids?
Joshua: Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did?
Kids: Yeah! Yeah!
Joshua: Write fiction and get more messed up than my mind is?
Sonic: My brain's dead weight. I can't get my head straight.
Joshua: Stuck trying to figure out which fake girl I made up in my head space I'd like to copulate and inseminate in order to impregnate.
Sonic: I don't understand. What's all that mean?
Joshua: Don't worry, man. Keep yo mind clean.
Sonic: And then J said-
Joshua: “Slim Speedy, you basic.”
Sonic: “Nuh-uh!”
Joshua: “Then, why's your series dead? Man, you're wasted!”
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
Sonic: Well, back on the Dreamcast, it felt like such a blast, even though I knew it wouldn't last, but it just fell down too fast.
Joshua: When I get ticked off, I rip McNulty's tips off. They suck so hard-
Sonic: My eyes go backwards and criss-cross.
Joshua: I like getting new games made of plastic, feels so fantastic.
Sonic: Most fun thing since elastic. Hey, J. Why write if people only look and scoff?
Joshua: I don't care. The Lord sent me to make the world a little better off. Hi! My name is-
Sonic: What?
Joshua: My name is-
Sonic: Who?
Joshua: My name is, fliki fliki, Fake Shady!
Sonic: Hi! My name is-
Joshua: Huh?
Sonic: My name is-
Joshua: What?
Sonic: My name is, Slicka Slicka, Slim Speedy!
Joshua: Junior high is where it really went awry. Started to hate my life, though my dreams were in the sky.
Sonic: Chased 'round the publishers, who became mental punishers. Printed the book and stapled the stack of papers. The tale's my lady and I can't escape her.
Joshua: Walk into my game hub, start up my own club. Lonely as a bear cub munching on an abandoned sub. Retreat into my mind, become a pretender. Look at what I find, became my book's director.
Sonic: Documentarian. Filming pedestrians. Paying thespians-
Joshua: While I'm screaming, “Can We Be Friends?!”
Sonic: Most of my life, I was lied to.
Joshua: Just found out my mom types worse than I do. Told her I'd grow up to be a famous author, never said the part where I'd be a bigger bother.
Sonic: You know you blew up when you draw in all the fans. Knocking over stands. Screaming with all they can. I met this guy at Sonic who wanted an autograph. Signed it so poorly, made my own self laugh. Hi! My name is-
Joshua: What?
Sonic: My name is-
Joshua: Who?
Sonic: My name is, slicka slicka, Slim Speedy!
Joshua: Hi! My name is-
Sonic: Huh?
Joshua: My name is-
Sonic: What?
Joshua: My name is, fliki fliki, Fake Shady! Stop the tape!
Sonic: Why do we have to wait?
Joshua: I can't think! My mind needs to create! I'm not ready to stop! Wanna do the whole song.
Sonic: Who cares if it ain't slop? Even if it's the top dog you still won't belong.
Joshua: Am I thinking, or stinking? I can barely make rhymes! Just did a ton in one go. Dare to look at the time?
Sonic: All my life, I was very deprived. Ain't had a good meal in years, and my pangs are too painful to hide. No clothes like the Incredible Hulk. All I got is friends. Don't got any bulk.
Joshua: When I was little, I wanted to be past my writing limits. How you gonna proofread me, ma? You ain't got no tips! I lay awake, strapped in thoughts in my bed. Put a goofy expression on as I think about being dead. I'm steaming mad, and, by the way, if you see my dad, tell him I only ever wanna see him in the dreams I have.
Sonic: I think that's a bit too dark to end on, don't you?
Joshua: Dark was good for Marshall. Why not us too? I'm done with thinking. No more stories to tell. Time for water drinking, and eating candy gel.
Sonic: I know this started off lighthearted at first, but as it went on it got a little worse. Before we get done, just know it's all fun, even if it ain't all a joke. Now, go to sleep, you bloke!
Joshua: What?
Sonic: My name is-
Joshua: Who?
Sonic: My name is, slicka slicka, Slim Speedy!
Joshua: Hi! My name is-
Sonic: Huh?
Joshua: My name is-
Sonic: What?
Joshua: My name is, fliki fliki, Fake Shady!
More LPs to come!
Sonic voiced by Slim Shady
Joshua voiced by Dr. Dre
