Chapter 1: Laozi is not a monkey

  "Today Wang Qiuxue learned how to walk through walls."

  The young man in the Taoist robe refined the last piece of Xuan Iron in his hand, muttering to himself: "No, that's not how Pu Songling wrote it."

  The majestic peak, the wonderful land of the immortal family, was shrouded in a sea of clouds, but from within the Upper Clear Palace came the sound of "ding ding dang dang", striking this beautiful scenery, like a painting, into fragments.

  "What is he doing again?" A Taoist youth next to him whispered to his junior brother while cutting paper.

  His junior fellow disciple stared at his senior brother's mouth in a daze, and it took him more than half a day to understand. He shook his head helplessly. Nonsense, he had only been on Mount Canglang for just over a month, how could he comprehend the profound and mysterious things of his senior brothers?

  Wang Qi.

  The old Taoist priest sat in the hall on a taishi chair, his face expressionless, half-closing his eyes and starting to recite names in the order of accepting apprentices from the end.

  "Yes, Master!" Wang Qi hastily walked out of the crowd, still exchanging glances with his senior brother. In front of him, the table was empty and bare, without any preparations made.

  "Today is the grand examination at the end of the year, and although you are a newly arrived disciple, you must perform well!" As usual, the old Taoist master offered some words of encouragement before asking: "Is your annual exam technique the Wall-Penetrating Technique?"

  Wang Qi's obedient nod, in his heart secretly thought, for over a month on Mount Shang, this old thing besides the wall-penetrating technique, had he taught himself any other magical skills?

  Of course, he couldn't say that out loud. Wang Qi bowed and walked to the empty space in the Upper Clear Palace: "I often see Master casually walking anywhere, walls can't block him, if I can learn this magic trick, I'll be satisfied."

  Muttering an incantation under his breath, he gritted his teeth and charged forward against the wall of the Taiqing Palace.

  "Hold on!" Just as Wang Qi's head was about to collide with the palace wall, the old Taoist suddenly spoke out and stopped Wang Qi's movement. With a wave of his sleeve: "I had forgotten that the walls of this palace have been cast with forbidden spells, and with your current cultivation, you probably can't break through them."

  Wang Qi's heart was filled with fear, if he were to crash into it...

  This time, he didn't dare to run again, and slowly paced to the wall, reciting the incantation, stretching his head over, and indeed it was empty, as if the wall didn't exist. When he opened his eyes again, Wang Qi found himself standing outside the gate of Shangqing Palace.

  "Wall-penetrating technique, use it skillfully." The old Taoist's eyes were still half-closed as he muttered casually.

  "Good magic!" The young man in the Taoist robe's eyes lit up, and he applauded with a cheer.

  If this spell were used in the right place, there wouldn't be many prisons that could hold him. His eyes kept circling around the old Taoist priest's body, thinking about how he hadn't discovered it before - the old Taoist priest had always been in a state of sleepiness.

  Half-closing his eyes, but when wandering around in a daze, he had never seen anyone bump their head against the wall.

  Then several more junior brothers passed by, and the old Taoist priest called out the Taoist name of the young man in the Taoist robe: "Wukong, come out."

  "My father is not a monkey." The Taoist youth Wukong's eyes welled up with tears as he walked out from behind the desk.

  Adjust your hat, shake out your clothes, take a big stride and walk forward.

  Sun Wukong maintained his demeanor, after all, under the gaze of his many junior brothers, he couldn't lose the prestige of being the eldest senior brother of the Cuiyun Peak. At this moment, he was not fighting alone, Linghu Chong, Yue Buqun and Zuo Lengchan were standing behind him across time and space.

  The old Taoist called out Wukong, waiting for him to report his annual exam results. However, unexpectedly, before Wukong could speak, the junior brothers on both sides rushed forward and drowned him out.

  "Big brother, what is this?" asked a curious younger brother.

  The two mysterious iron dolls in Wukong's hands were exquisitely crafted, with one male and one female, both of whom had beautiful faces and outstanding figures.

  Wukong laughed with satisfaction and said: "Xuan Tie Wa Wa."

  "Mysterious Iron Doll? Can you fight with Luohan Fist?" a voice beside asked.

  Wukong shook his head: "Cannot."

  "Can this doll recite the Tao Te Ching?"

  "No."

  "Or, Big Brother, can you get these two kids to help you fight against the bad guys?"

  Three black lines emerged from Wukong's head, and after following him for so many years, these younger brothers were still so innocent and lovely.

  "It's truly rare, truly rare." After mourning for the future of the Lingshan Sect in his heart for a second, Wukong snapped his fingers together and cast a spell on the two mysterious iron dolls. The two dolls suddenly came to life and started dancing with elegant movements.

  All the junior brothers stopped asking questions, their eyes wide with wonder, staring at the Xuan Tie Hua in Wukong's hand, which had finished dancing and was now doing obscene things.

  After the old Daozhang wiped away the nosebleed for the third time, the spiritual power of the Wukong mantra was exhausted, and the two Xuan Tie dolls were still tightly entwined together. The crowd of Daoists in the hall blushed with embarrassment, but none of them were willing to leave.

  Or there are several senior brothers who have been on the mountain for a very long time, staring at the mysterious iron doll with eager eyes, and can't wait to replace Wukong and cast another spell.

  "Cough, cough." The old Daoist coughed loudly twice, startling the disciples who had forgotten they were still in the Upper Clear Hall.

  At a speed like flying, he stood in front of his case, several young fellow disciples still covering their lower body with their Taoist robes.

  The old Taoist's nose was almost twisted by himself, and he said angrily with a stuffy voice: "Wukong, this is what you have gained from practicing here!"

  Sun Wukong saw the old Taoist get angry, and he hastily bowed his head and said, "That's right."

  The old Taoist saw that Sun Wukong still dared to talk back, and in anger, his eyes looked around wildly, the dusting brush in his hand was raised and then put down, but he couldn't bring himself to hit him. Still feeling affection for his disciple, the old Taoist said: "You'd better speak up, what have you gained from these years that makes you show off your skills in the Grand Hall of Upper Purity?"

  Sun Wukong replied, "I was taken to the mountain by my master when I was young and built a small hut behind the mountain. Over the years, I have always been grateful for my master's great kindness. In my daily life, I diligently practice the magical powers of our sect without daring to be lazy. When I am free, I also recite a few volumes of Huang Ting, passing the time."

  The old Taoist priest listened to Wukong's words and felt relieved, nodding his head: "You are a person born without father or mother, I saw the thunderstorm on the mountain that year and thought you were a heavenly son, so I took you as my first disciple."

  Saying that, he again thought of today's embarrassment. The old Taoist secretly manipulated his true energy in his heart and suppressed the burning fire in his lower abdomen. Then he shouted: "Who would have thought that you would do such a thing in the Upper Clear Palace!"

  Sun Wukong grew up with the old Taoist priest since he was a child, seeing him gradually calm down his anger, blinking his eyes: "Then it's okay if you don't go to the Upper Clear Palace?"

  The old Taoist also had a hint of anger in his heart and said quietly, "Within the mountains, don't let me see this thing again!"

  Outside of Laoshan, the old Daoist master doesn't care; even within Laoshan, as long as he doesn't see it, nothing will happen.

  Out of sight, out of mind.

  The old Taoist priest asked curiously: "You have been following me on the mountain for many years, where did you get so many sinister thoughts?"

  Wukong thought to himself, "I can tell you, my previous life was a gangster, and I wasn't careful on a rainy day, chopping people and getting struck by lightning and crossing over?" Can't say it, even if he said it, no one would believe him. Wukong casually quipped, "It's all thanks to Master's teachings."

  The old Taoist's face turned purple with rage: "I taught you magic, I taught you the way of being human, but I never taught you these things!"

  Wukong often wonders if this world has the Tianshan Taoist, and whether the "Zixia Divine Art" still exists. Every time he sees the old Taoist's face change color, Wukong's heart itches, but he dares not ask.

  He just nodded and said: "Master gave me a Taoist name, what he taught."

  In the Lao Mountain Sect, not every disciple has a Dao number. After entering the mountain, they must first chop firewood and cook for half a year, then carry books and refine elixirs for another half a year. Only after passing the test of living in seclusion by fire for a year will they be given a topic to test their knowledge by senior brothers, and only if they pass will they be accepted as disciples by the old Daoist master.

  Wukong is also strange, Wang Qi has been on Qianzhang Mountain for less than half a year and actually has the qualifications to be among the inner disciples.

  Was it Pu Songling who was playing tricks on Laozi?

  However, even if one enters the room, they will not be given a Taoist name for a short period of time. The old Taoist master must personally observe their behavior and character before giving them a Taoist name according to their temperament. With a Taoist name, they can then openly raise the Mount Cong flag when traveling the world.

  "What's wrong with the way I took for you?" The old Taoist was a disciple of the ancient great divine method, and the first apprentice he received after establishing his sect was Wukong.

  Wukong pulled out a volume of scriptures from his sleeve: "The book says, emptiness is color, color is emptiness. I think, Master gave me the name Wukong, probably hoping that I can comprehend color from emptiness and comprehend the Tao from color."

  I understand what you're getting at, but I'm still a normal man even though I don't socialize much anymore.

  The entire Lao Mountain, from top to bottom, apart from cockroaches and mosquitoes, can you find a single female creature?

  Can't find a female animal, so Wukong can only masturbate by himself.

  There is a type of iron sheet with a mysterious pattern, although it's not as good as the colored ones, but it's better than nothing.

  The old Taoist's seven orifices emitted smoke as he angrily rebuked: "What scripture are you holding in your hand?"

  Sun Wukong innocently said: "I saw Master Seven come down from the mountain, and I asked him to bring me some new scriptures that had just arrived in the small town at the foot of the mountain. This one seems to be called the 'Heart Sutra of Prajna Paramita', right?" As he spoke, he winked at Master Seven, causing Master Seven's face to turn pale with fright.

  Doing something as reckless as this, Big Master Brother, you can handle it alone, no need to bring me, Little Master Brother.

  The old Taoist priest was speechless, pointing at Wukong: "You, you this inferior disciple, I will severely punish you!" What kind of punishment method is it? The Cuishan Sect was founded under the guidance of the old Taoist priest and has never had anyone commit such a serious offense.

  "You, you..." tremblingly pointing at Wukong, seeing the old Taoist's face with an even deeper purple aura: "I can no longer be your master, go find someone else to worship..."

  Think about it, after all, can't bear to drive Wukong out of the sect like this. The old Taoist's eyes turned around and saw that among the many disciples stuck on the wall, only Wang Qi's white face was the most eye-catching. He stretched out his hand and pointed: "From now on, you will be a disciple under Wang Qi, and the name Wukong will be moved back a bit. From now on, it will be called Xuan Kong!"