Chapter 19: Self-Destruction

  A maiden in blue and white robes descended from the Ninth Heaven, as if she were floating on air. Her elegant and refined demeanor was reminiscent of a gentle breeze or a drifting cloud, much like the legendary immortals. With skin as delicate as peaches and plums, and eyes as clear as autumn water, she shone with a soft, warm light, like a beautiful jade in the mist. Occasionally, a glint of icy sharpness would flash across her gaze.

  The girl looks weak and unable to withstand the cold, yet gives people a sense of being unapproachable.

  Zhang Liang quickly regained his composure from the shock of seeing a heavenly being descend upon the world, and his gaze was immediately drawn to a Taoist crown that had not been there before.

  The last time they met, Yao Guang still had long hair and never tied it up or wore a crown. Today, however, she was completely different, with an entirely new air about her that matched the changes in her attire.

  It was just a few days, and it was indeed that thunderbolt in Xianyang...

  Yao Guang bowed and smiled: "Mr. Zhang San, nice to see you again."

  Zhang Liang's heart was filled with anxiety, and he knew that his whereabouts would inevitably be exposed. However, he also understood that Yao Guang had no reason to cover for him, so he hid his panic and respectfully stepped forward to return the courtesy.

  "Confucian Zhang Liang pays respects to the Emperor's Teacher."

  Yao Guang nodded softly after a while, just as she was about to say something, her gaze suddenly caught sight of a white figure, and she couldn't help but look up, only to see a young man in a blue and white Taoist robe hurrying over, from afar, he looked exactly like Qi Zhen, the master of Chunyang Palace's Yu Xuan sect.

  Yao Guang suddenly came to, and for a moment it seemed as if she had returned to the snow-covered Mount Hua of her final years. She followed Shifu Rui to stand in the Taiji Plaza, watching as Shifu distributed the sect's tasks one by one, making everything within the sect run smoothly and in order.

  The master of the Li family, Li Wangsheng, had a disciple named Yu Xu, among whom was a person with the secular name Ji Zhen, who entered the Pure Yang five years earlier than Yao Guang. Therefore, Yao Guang called him Shixiong (older brother). Ji Zhen Shixiong was one of the few inner disciples who took the sect's mission very seriously. Many inner disciples became obsessed with their cultivation after mastering swordsmanship and Taoist magic, and some even closed themselves off for a year or half a year. However, Ji Zhen was not like that. He specialized in Qi Sect, had achieved success in swordsmanship, but still worked tirelessly for the sect every day. It was because of this that Yao Guang became familiar with him, as Ji Zhen would come to Yu Rui's place every day to receive and report on his tasks.

  On that day, Yao Guang went down the mountain to help the Tang army put down the rebellion. Ji Zhen was also in the team. In that assassination, Yao Guang was protected by several senior brothers. Seasonal warm and gentle Ji Zhen Shixiong was covered in blood, couldn't even wipe off the blood on his face, just shouted at Yao Guang "Go quickly!", then, ten thousand arrows pierced through his heart.

  Several senior brothers died one by one in front of him, and finally, Yao Guang swung his sword and killed himself.

  That was Yao Guang's most miserable memory.

  Yao Guang didn't know that after that one sword, it wasn't the end of her life, but a new beginning. No matter how she tried to convince herself, deep down inside, there was always a glimmer of hope - if one day she could return to the Tang Dynasty, return to Mount Hua, how wonderful would that be.

  Suddenly seeing "Seasonal True Brother", Yao Guang's mind was shaken, her eyes gradually misted, and she involuntarily called out: "Brother..."

  Just then Zhang Liang spoke up with a smile: "Big Brother."

  Yan Lu smiled and nodded, then looked at Yao Guang, piously clasped his hands together and bowed.

  "Confucius Yan Lu pays respects to Emperor Shi."

  This sentence was like a thunderclap on a clear day, immediately startling Yao Guang from his momentary trance.

  Yao Guang stared blankly at Yan Lu for a long time, as if using this unfamiliar face to dispel the countless memories that kept surfacing in her mind. The tears that filled her eyes were forcibly held back, and she couldn't help but laugh, but it wasn't out of joy, rather self-mockery and anger.

  How ridiculous!

  Does she still not understand?

  In this strange world, in this strange era, she is alone, with no one to rely on and no one to trust. Because of this, she must be ten times, a hundred times more vigilant and self-reflective, firm and strong.

  Confucian Yan Lu, is also Confucian.

  Why does Confucianism always make her feel so uncomfortable?!

  First it was Zhang Liang, then Yan Lu who looked exactly like the deceased. Why did they have to appear? Why did they keep making her recall those painful memories?

  Cultivation can indeed cultivate one's body and nature, but Yao Guang has been cultivating for eight years, so how could she easily see through life and death, parting from love and hate? Since her "death", she didn't even have the time to cry for herself, let alone hold a funeral for her fellow disciples who died in battle. Suddenly facing a huge change and entering a strange world, she had no choice but to calm down and reflect, suppressing the pain of life and death to the bottom of her heart. Now that she has encountered an opportunity, it suddenly burst out.

  Yao Guang's face was almost cold as he opened his mouth and said: "So it's Mr. Yan Er of the Confucian family, what a fortunate encounter."

  Yan Lu was slightly taken aback by Yao Guang's sudden hostility, but his face remained calm and composed as he replied in a gentle tone: "The Emperor's will is natural and spontaneous, following his heart's desires; hearing about it is not the same as seeing it."

  Zhang Liang heard this sentence and almost broke out in a cold sweat, fearing that this inexplicably angry "Jade Light True Man" would draw his sword without warning.

  Although Zhang Liang was also amazed by Yan Lu's sharp eyesight, he couldn't help but feel like crying.

  It's true that Yao Guang said "as he pleased". When ordinary people and Confucian family members meet, even if they are unhappy in their hearts, they will still cover up a bit. Yao Guang didn't cover it up at all, and directly expressed it out. The problem is, why did Shifu, who was usually gentle and polite, change his style and directly pierced through like this? What if Yao Guang gets angry and ashamed, he really can't handle that one sword!

  However, Zhang Liang was completely wrong this time.

  Jade Light, who was still carrying a hint of anger, heard Yan Lu's words and her eyes instantly became sharp as knives. But in just one breath, the hostility and resentment around Jade Light dissipated, she smiled softly and replied calmly: "Mr. Yan is indeed a gentleman, I, Jade Light, am not cultivated enough, I was wrong to shift my anger onto you, please forgive me."

  Yan Lu smiled and shook his head, seemingly unbothered.

  "Human beings are not like plants and trees, who can be without emotions?"

  Because all living beings have emotions, they will laugh with joy and cry with sorrow. They love, hate, and feel emotions, and their hearts are moved by the seven emotions. Therefore, Yao Guang would feel sad for the sacrifice of his fellow disciples and lonely for being alone in a foreign land. Yao Guang expressed this pain according to her inner thoughts, and Yan Lu thought it was normal for people to have seven emotions and did not blame her.

  Yan Lu didn't add any blame, but that doesn't mean Yao Guang can indulge in sorrow and anger without end.

  The Taoist school takes clarity and inaction, unity of heaven and man as its purpose, advocating for a clear mind and few desires, with self-control being the highest. However, Yao Guang did not take this path, but instead followed the opposite way, using "being natural and acting freely, following one's heart's desire" to make body and mind as one. In this way, the most basic requirement to attain the Tao is a "pure and upright heart". Because of a pure and upright heart, being natural and acting freely, following one's heart's desire will not harm all living things. If there are desires, they are satisfied, and then no longer thought about, gradually reaching the state of few desires and ultimately no desires.

  What Yan Lu pointed out was precisely this point.

  The Jade Light Essence daily cultivates and has a teaching that says: Love and hatred do not obscure the spiritual platform. The ultimate goal is to attain a state of unchanging clarity, whether it be joy or sorrow, after expressing emotions, one does not become trapped again.

  Yao Guang couldn't help but laugh.

  "Mr. Yan's words have just reached this point, and he can now enter our Taoist gate."

  Yan Lu smiled and replied: "I have already had a master, I can only disappoint the emperor's kindness."

  Yao Guang thought that Zhang Liang was considered a representative of Taoism in history because his later views were in line with the Huang-Lao school, but this Zhang Liang in front of her was actually a Confucianist. She looked at Yan Lu again, who resembled her fellow disciple, and said with a smile: "Mr. Yan's words are incorrect. The Taoist sect is not like the Confucian family, which requires apprenticeship to enter the door. There are many sentient beings in the world who have entered the Tao with one thought. Our sect does not emphasize the inheritance of teachers like the Confucian family. The transmission of Taoist teachings can be found in heaven and earth, in the heart, and in a single thought. Who can say that Confucian disciples will not enlighten the Tao? In my opinion, Mr. Yan seems to have already stepped into the door."

  Yan Lu was taken aback for a moment, and smiled without answering.

  Zhang Liang, however, looked back and forth at Yao Guang and Yan Lu several times with a suspicious expression. Finally, he stopped that sizing up after being subtly glared at by Yan Lu, cleared his throat, and said: "The Emperor's teacher has come from afar, and Big Brother Master has been waiting for a long time."

  Yao Guang's knot in her heart was loosened by Yan Lu's words, and now she found Zhang Liang more pleasing to the eye.

  In the end, Zhang Liang himself did not say that he was a figure of which family, and the evaluation in historical books is only inferred from Zhang Liang's life. What if he is a Confucian now? If he lived his whole life as recorded in history, thousands of years later, he would still be counted as a Daoist.

  Isn't Zhang Liang's senior fellow apprentice a living example?

  In name still a Confucian, but in fact what he has learned, thought, spoken and done all have the shadow of Taoism, it's hard to say when he will completely cross over.

  Yao Guang thought for a moment and felt much better, nodding her head with a smile.

  Before leaving, Yao Guang casually glanced at the group of Confucian disciples and found two familiar figures. When their eyes met, the expressions of the two young men were extremely shocked.

  At dawn, where is Item Xiao Yu?

  Why are the two people who should be acting with Moe here?

  The connection between Mohism and Confucianism seems... close at hand.

  Yao Guang lightly laughed and quickly caught up with Zhang Liang and Yan Lu, who were leading the way ahead. With a smile, he said: "I don't know what Mr. Zhang is thinking or planning, but from what I've seen today, it seems to me that the Confucians are heading for self-destruction."

  Zhang Liang was so sharp that he thought of the reason after a little consideration and suddenly felt anxious.

  He thought Yao Guang would come through the front door, and he had planned to have Tian Ming and Shao Yu withdraw at that time. However, he did not expect Yao Guang to suddenly descend from the sky without any warning, catching them off guard, and now they were completely exposed in her line of sight, making it pointless to try to cover up anymore.

  He was arrogant and thought himself clever, his military tactics were reckless, now he's lost by a single move, it can only be blamed on his own arrogance.

  Yan Lu slightly furrowed his brow and saw Zhang Liang's expression change, roughly guessing the reason, and couldn't help but sigh.

  Yao Guang thought for a moment, then added: "Confucianism and Mohism are both renowned schools of the world, with far-reaching influence. Your Majesty cannot help but pay attention to them. The Mohist school has already been identified as rebellious, while Confucianism is unclear in its relationship with it - how can you expect Your Majesty to believe that Confucianism is loyal to Great Qin? Taking a step back, even if they are not loyal, it doesn't matter; at the very least, they cannot be a hotbed of rebellion. If the situation were to unfold like yesterday's incident in the Imperial City, which of you gentlemen thinks that the next visitor would be me, or an army?"

  Yao Guang said up to here, suddenly thought of a word.

  Burning of books and burying of scholars.

  Could it be... this is the reason?

  Yao Guang turned to face the two young masters, both of whom looked unwell. She recalled that in her time, she could only catch a glimpse of the grandeur of ancient sages and heroes through historical records. The thin pages of history books could only record a handful of people, while countless others were lost in the long river of history. Whether it was Yan Lu, whose name was not passed down to future generations, or Zhang Liang, who was revered as a saint for thousands of years, after a thousand years, they had all disappeared like clouds and mist.

  No matter what they are plotting or striving for at the moment, it will all turn into a handful of yellow earth in the end. Whether there is book burning and burying scholars or not, after a thousand years, nothing will remain.

  This sense of temporal dislocation filled Yao Guang's heart with a feeling of desolation.

  This change in emotions brought a look of almost sorrowful pity into Yao Guang's eyes.

  People are born knowing they will die, but since they haven't seen death yet, they use all their strength to pursue life.

  She already knew of their deaths, yet had to watch them struggle in vain. In another world, would there be someone who also knows her ending, watching her drift in the mortal world?