Chapter 4 First Impressions (Revised)

  I sit quietly on the treetop, gazing up at the moon hanging high in the night sky, seemingly pure and flawless.

  Really beautiful, the moon, although the real moon is so ugly, pockmarked and scarred, but from such a distance it looks so beautiful, just like... human nature, like that kind of person, like that individual.

  Is this something that can be appreciated from a distance but not trifled with?

  I gave a faint smile, but made no sound, I didn't want to be discovered by others because of this small matter and disturb my mood.

  As for those in the shadows? Anyway, as long as I don't make any moves that "harm Konoha" or "may harm Konoha", they exist like shadows, but won't interfere with me.

  After all, their main task is to "monitor", whether I am injured or ill, it has nothing to do with them, as long as I still have a breath left, as long as I still have a mouthful of air.

  Daydreaming, this is a habit I've developed after being able to "freely" move around. During the day, I sleep to avoid those people, and at night, it depends on the situation whether I take a walk or gaze at the moon and daydream until dawn.

  ………..

  "You're a monster, you've killed so many people!"

  I haven't even killed one person.

  "You're unwanted, nobody dares to want a monster! Nobody wants you!"

  (We need each other, I don't need others!)

  "Monster, you should forever exist in darkness, get out of here, monster!"

  I'm actually more adapted to "darkness", if what you call "light" refers to people like you.

  "Murderer, monster, how can you live in peace!"

  If you had a conscience, you would have been unable to survive until now.

  "Monster, don't come near me! Help! That monster is coming over, help!"

  I didn't even move, is there something wrong with your eyes?

  ………….

  One by one, the cruel and vicious words are echoing in my mind like a reverberation, after all, I have heard these words for more than a year now. Or rather, 99% of what I remember, what I've heard, are this type of words.

  Because those people wouldn't speak human language to a monster, would they?

  The corners of my mouth curved up more and more, but there was no emotion revealed at the bottom of my eyes.

  "How did 'Whirlpool' manage to live in such an environment for twelve years and still retain that sunny disposition?"

  How can he not resent? How can he not hate?

  Is it because there is heart, so no resentment? Or is it because there is no heart?

  Or is this what they call "main character privilege"?

  "Does 'Kaito' also have a deep and dark secret that no one has discovered in his heart?"

  After all, shadows are darker when the light is brighter, aren't they?

  Wait a minute, I'm like "Naruto" now. So all the thoughts I just had, aren't they just like slandering or cursing myself?

  Sigh, I've started daydreaming again. Does this count as what they call "aftereffects"?

  Now every time I calm down, these cruel insults, hateful gazes, icy stares, and bullying of children automatically play in my mind like a slide show, until my brain thinks of other things. It's as if it has become a habit or a nature.

  Every time I think of this, I can't help but smile wryly at my own ability to remember things at a glance and recall them at will. Of course, I also have to admire myself for being able to mock myself in the first place.

  Your existence is an insult to them, why are you still alive?! Why don't you just die!

  Is it desecration?

  If desecrating the dead is a sin, how do you calculate the harm done to the living, or rather, for you, is a "monster" not qualified to enjoy these "human" rights?

  Kid, why keep recalling these things! A low, murmuring voice mixed with frenzy, depression and impatience emerges from the depths of my heart.

  Sorry, it's just a habitual reaction! I've gotten so used to it that I can't break the habit... And you'd help me interrupt it too. Besides, language is something that won't hurt you as long as you don't mind it... As long as you really don't mind, that is.

  "Hmph, anyway, don't even think about it. With your current physical condition, you still dare to think about such things! Hurry up and go rest for me! Did you hear that? This voice was mixed with a hard tone."

  This harsh tone, however, makes me feel a warmth in my heart, but that doesn't mean I'll definitely do it.

  But it's also pretty funny, as the "hero" who sealed away the Nine-Tails and the "jinchuriki" rejected by the villagers of Konoha, in this village, the only warmth I feel is from the nine-tailed fox imprisoned within my living "prison".

  I remember it was when I had been living alone for quite some time that I first saw him with the "help" of a near-death experience.

  Later, every time I recall the situation at that time, I really think it's quite interesting. Of course, this is my statement. Another party involved said that was the beginning of his nightmare.

  At that time, this body, due to long-term malnutrition and dehydration, coupled with prolonged illness and persistent high fever, entered a state of impending death.

  If it weren't for being already familiar with oneself in that state...

  If it weren't for a batch of daily necessities sent by Sanadaime, there just so happened to be a high-grade antipyretic specially made by Mokuyou...

  If I weren't a Jinchuriki, I wouldn't have this strong life force that came with it...

  For an ordinary person, he would have died long ago.

  But it was precisely because of this that I could see him for the first time so early, that proud and dazzlingly beautiful creature.

  At that time, I fell into the depths of my soul...

  The sensation of my feet, as if walking in a swamp, looks like water, but is abnormally sticky, just like half-melted asphalt. Every step I take requires exhausting all my strength to struggle forward, just like the contradictions in my heart.

  As far as I can see, all around me is an endless and profound darkness, with no visible boundaries.

  It seems that even the only proof of its own existence - the heartbeat, has also sunk into this boundless and endless abyss.

  Here, almost everything is eroded away: sound, color, body, memory, personality, and even oneself.

  In this vast and endless profundity, only that existence with a transcendent posture is the sole light.

  With a fiery coat and that majestic, untamed posture, I saw for the first time such a beautiful and proud life, unfortunately... it was locked in a huge cage.

  Why am I locked up!

  In the darkness, those golden eyes filled with madness and unyielding will, like a golden whirlpool, made me unconsciously sink into them and walk forward.

  I never thought that gold, which I had always disliked the most, would be so attractive to me at some point.

  This golden thing has almost moved all of my spirits.

  Suddenly, a huge fox paw swung towards me from the gap in the cage. I was fixated on those beautiful eyes and didn't notice the giant palm attacking me until it stopped just a few centimeters away from my face.

  You little brat, come here and let me kill you! A voice full of murderous intent echoed around me.

  Are you the nine-tailed demon fox sealed within this body? I'll stay out of his attack range, there's something I want to tell him.

  I don't mind dying at the hands of the nine-tailed demon fox, but I can't take risks when my life and death are still uncertain, and whether the sealed beast in me is related to it or not.

  I don't want him to die.

  Shut up and come here! How dare you seal me away? I'll kill you! The Nine-Tails' tone was still as arrogant as ever.

  If I die, won't you also die? I'm pointing out a problem or a fact.

  Upon hearing my words, the nine-tailed fox seemed to calm down slightly... Ah, yes, you want to use your life to threaten me and exchange it for power? Isn't this what humans have always wanted? They fear the tailed beasts, yet crave their power! Whether in the past or present, humans are all the same - they will stop at nothing to gain power, even sacrificing their own kin without hesitation. Who is truly "inhuman", humans or beasts? The words were laced with strong sarcasm.

  I shook my head, not just to indicate that I didn't have any desire for power, but also because I didn't think of myself as human. Or rather, humans had never acknowledged or recognized me, whether it was "Swirling Whirlwind" or "Me", neither were considered one of them, at least before showing off my powers...

  Humans are lives that need mutual recognition in order to exist. I inadvertently came up with this sentence.

  Neither of them recognized me, whether it was the former or the latter, I had never been recognized before.

  What are you talking about! The nine-tailed demon fox was somewhat perplexed by the words of this small host, not that she hadn't heard the words clearly, nor that she didn't understand the meaning behind them.

  As a powerful life that has spanned over a thousand years, I have experienced almost everything that can be experienced, whether I wanted to or not.

  But after going through many things, emotions become dull, this is an instinct, the instinct to protect oneself from being hurt again.

  Also learned to read people.

  Similar words, I've heard humans say before, some passionate, some angry, some calm, some arrogant, but all share a commonality - they are all from people who no longer cherish their own lives and pray for death.

  "This little demon, what exactly is...?" The Nine-Tailed Demon Fox's indifferent heart stirred with a nearly imperceptible ripple.

  These nine-tailed demon fox's thoughts in her heart are naturally not something I can know about.

  Sorry if my words have caused you trouble, I'm willing to apologize. It's easy to accidentally blurt out what's on your mind here, it's really troublesome!

  Actually, I didn't have that idea. I just thought that if you killed me, you would die too, so you can't kill me here. Well, I don't want you to die. Of course, if you could break free from the seal of this body, I wouldn't mind letting you kill me, really.

  I have always liked the Nine-Tails Fox Spirit since long ago, and I don't want to be like Naruto Uzumaki, using a strong attitude to interact with the Nine-Tails Fox Spirit, or even forcing this proud existence to grant me power.

  "Humans" aren't that noble.

  But having the power to control others' lives and deaths is also nothing to be proud of.

  The nine-tailed demon fox, however, was unexpectedly silent for a while before responding... Are you sympathizing with me? You little brat, what are you doing here if not to play?

  No, don't be so agitated, I have no ill intentions towards you. I just didn't want to see such a beautiful life disappear. Besides, I wasn't the one who came to you, can't you sense what's going on outside? I always thought it was okay.

  Who are you kidding! It's just that you humans have been attacking me all along, and when you couldn't eliminate me, you wanted to use me. When you couldn't use me, you wanted to control me. And when I could no longer be controlled, you sealed me away.

  Since it's a seal, is it possible for us to perceive the situation outside? Are you on vacation or something? The nine-tailed demon fox's tone was filled with anger and indignation.

  So? I took a look at the cage that was filled with ancient scars, it looked not only huge but also had a very strong oppressive feeling...... and a familiar feeling?

  The pillars had indistinguishable patterns, but upon closer inspection, I found that the pillars were made up of layers of paper filled with words and symbols.

  Are those words the seal of confinement?

  Is this a sealed relationship? Can't you break free from it? Ah! I'm talking nonsense, if one could break free, idiots wouldn't stay in such a place.

  Nonsense, look! The nine-tailed demon fox used one of its claws to touch the talisman paper on the outside, and immediately issued a loud noise like a series of lightning strikes. It was seen that the area around that claw had already turned into a charred patch, with an entire circle of flesh and blood missing compared to the other claws.

  Does it hurt? Will it hurt? Is it very painful? Will it be excruciating? Can't you just tell me instead of trying to show me? It seems like he's also bored, is there a need to treat his own body this way? I'm not too pleased with the way he doesn't treasure his own body, but thinking about it, I guess I don't have the right to say that, at least regarding this point.

  Nonsense, won't it hurt? This pain, once my spirit can't bear it, I'm likely to collapse because of it!

  But even so, this little touch is nothing to me, the strongest Tailed Beast, the renowned Nine-Tails. The Nine-Tails' voice seemed a bit proud.

  What about the wound on your hand? I raised a question.

  It's none of your business, anyway it will be fine soon. Indeed, as expected, his super strong recovery power, the wound on him had already recovered during our conversation.

  So, if it weren't for these talismans, you would have been able to leave long ago?

  All he's saying is nonsense. If this rune wasn't also affecting **, it would also harm the soul. Hmph, I wouldn't even bother with something like that.

  I nodded quietly in response to the nine-tailed demon fox's words as I walked forward.

  "Hey, you stinky little demon, what makes you think you can get close to me? Aren't you afraid I'll kill you? Or do you think those talismans will protect you? The nine-tailed fox seems to think my approach is a provocation."

  I ignored his words and reached out to touch a talisman paper, and indeed, the same loud explosion sound... A sharp pain was transmitted from my fingertips.

  I raised an eyebrow, it was lighter than I thought... It seemed to be much lighter. Looking at the charred fingers, I confirmed that they could still move and the fingers were still intact. Compared to the nine-tailed demon fox directly losing half a claw, this was much better.

  It seems that the pain is more intense when it comes from human relationships.

  You little stinker... what are you doing? Do you have to try it yourself? Doesn't it... hurt?

  The nine-tailed demon fox seems to have been scared by me, it's quite an accomplishment, hehe.

  If it were just like this... I guess it would still be bearable?

  I retorted with a sentence of nonsense he had just said, might it not hurt? and at the same time tore off a talisman paper, so-called "practice makes perfect".

  If my brother and sister knew that I was using this phrase for something like this, they would definitely scold me to death. Unfortunately... it won't happen.

  I couldn't help but let out a low, muffled roar of "Haaaah!", the pain from being torn apart was probably several times more intense than when I touched the talisman paper, and it affected my entire body. The pain seemed to emanate from within my body itself, and I involuntarily wrapped my arms tightly around myself, as if that could somehow alleviate my suffering.

  You're crazy! What are you doing? Stop it at once! The Nine-Tailed Fox saw that strange little devil take a short rest, and seemingly wanting to continue tearing, loudly stopped him.

  I'd rather suffer a short pain than a long one, so this time I took a deep breath and tore it all off at once.

  Wow! I feel like even my vocal organs are paralyzed and can't make a sound.

  It seems that the pain of "touching" is indeed just a warning!

  I didn't expect the consequences of tearing off multiple ones at the same time to be like this, wave after wave of intense pain came like a storm, this kind of suffering that directly affects the depths of the soul can't be compared to any physical harm, it's hundreds of times more painful than being thrown into boiling hot oil inside and out.

  I couldn't stand on my feet anymore and fell forward, and all I could do with the last bit of strength was to close my eyes.

  At the moment of falling, the last thought that flashed through my mind was an uncontrollable sadness. Why did it have to use such extreme means to seal away this beautiful life! This beautiful life could only stay in a place like this, how cruel is that!

  Let's come back and fix it when the third volume is almost finished!