Chapter 12: If There Is Residual (Repair)

  I struggled to prop up my own will, not letting my consciousness daze.

  I know that if I don't take action now, he's still just in a slightly confused state and will let me and Bai leave, but once any small stimulus appears, he may depart from that state.

  So I will slowly leave with Bai, step by step, just in case our running figures will stimulate him.

  My body is nothing, but what about Bai? The actions of someone who's emotionally agitated are beyond reason.

  A wave of fatigue swept over me from the marrow of my bones after feeling relaxed, I opened my mouth to chat with Bai, I had to find something to do to shift my attention away from my physical condition, even if it was temporary.

  "What's your name?" After some consideration, I finally decided to start with this question. Although I already knew his name, it still didn't feel right to call him out directly, so I asked anyway!

  "Bai, I am called Bai." Bai was a bit out of breath, but still answered my question.

  I gazed at the small face with white hair and red cheeks, as the shoulders moved up and down with each breath, and quietly shifted my center of gravity to my own position.

  It's no wonder that now almost single-handedly holding up me and my luggage, he is a completely untrained six-year-old boy who has been hungry and cold for several days, no wonder his face suddenly turned red.

  "White, is it?" Is White the only name? Didn't mention his surname, don't know or want to forget?

  I hesitated for a moment, “...don't you want to ask me my name?”

  "An adult is an adult, no matter what you call them, it won't change."

  “………”

  Although I was moved by what he said later, "adult"...... My mouth twitched slightly, this body is only three years old!

  And how did Bai know this term, and why did he use it on me? Didn't he always call me "Mister" before?

  Even if Baizhan calls me "Mr.", I don't think it would be much better than being called "Sir".

  However, seeing Bai's joyful and trusting expression, I couldn't say anything, and could only let out a deep sigh in my heart.

  Bai, your trust in me has almost reached a level of faith. If I hadn't arrived, would you have also directed this gaze at Zhen again?

  I shook my head and stopped thinking about this kind of question.

  Because I have already arrived.

  Because of this, I have already made up my mind to leave behind the choice that led to a smile nine years later.

  Although I don't know if the other road that Bai Tuo left would be better or worse.

  Basically, I'm a very easy-going person. As long as it's within my tolerance, how others treat me is of no concern to me at all.

  But as long as others touch my reverse scales, I am the kind of person who will slaughter your entire family if you scold me. Now that he calls me like this, although it makes me feel a bit strange, but as long as he's happy, it's fine. Anyway, before returning to Konoha, let him not call me like this again. There are still more than two years left, so for now, just forget about it.

  Anyway, it won't be long before there's another one, let's correct them together then! I had some self-destructive thoughts.

  Looking at the white side with a face of reverence, like a devout believer, it's exactly the same as the expression of that person looking at "that person", the one who is closest to me on the other end.

  At this time, some strange thoughts emerged in my heart and I asked aloud: "Even if I'm a devil, a killer, or even... a monster!"

  "An adult is an adult, no matter what status they have, it won't change." Ba gave me a similar answer.

  Seeing her pure and sincere gaze, I couldn't help but feel a desire to destroy it.

  It's because people of that clan have eyes like that and did many things for "that person".

  "I said with a bit of malice, 'Even if everything about me is fake, the things you've experienced are all related to me. I've killed so many people, I'm a monster. The me you met was also fake, and what I did to you was also fake... I will be a monster, I am already a monster, I am a monster, I can only hurt... Everything about me is fake!' My head was spinning, it was hot, my entire spirit was on the verge of collapse. I couldn't even notice what I had said. The last few sentences were almost just murmurs."

  "No matter what happens next, your past lies to me were true." I heard the angelic whisper of redemption.

  Does Baizhi's father know or not that the person he wants to destroy is so kind?! I shed tears for the first time, for Father Bai's foolishness, Mother Bai's blind resentment, and Bai's simplicity.

  If I had come to find Bai before everything happened, could I have saved him better? Could he still be happy and live a normal life with his parents... I was originally able to change all of this, but Bai is different from Junmaru, Bai once had a home, but it was destroyed because of my selfishness... What right do I have to think that Bai would be better off following me than staying with Ren? I am a hypocrite.

  You, you really don't suit the world of ninjas. Do I really have to drag angels down to the ground? Follow my choice, no matter what we go through on the way, it will ultimately return to the bloody and cruel hell at the bottom.

  I was never a "god", and I won't return to "heaven".

  "White... you... me..." I'm sorry... I don't know how to start or what to say.

  Bai seemed to have understood the implication of my words, "Bai is an adult now, and from now on, Bai will only live for adults. If adults don't want Bai, then Bai has no reason to exist." Bai was not just saying this to me, but also declaring it to himself.

  My faint smile, this is my second genuine smile.

  Don't worry, I won't let any flaws appear on you, I swear.

  "...... if there is any left."

  "What's left?"

  "You can call me 'Yuezan'." This is the only term that I temporarily think can be used to refer to myself, or rather, the only term that can be used to refer to me without my rejection.

  Is this really your decision? The voice of Katsuragi echoed from within me.

  It's usually me who goes down to the depths of my soul to find him, and we rarely converse in this state. I've spent a lot of effort pulling out so many talismans just to enable us to communicate normally, but Jiu Yue seems dissatisfied with me recklessly pulling out talismans without regard for my body, truly wasting my hard work.

  Of course, "Wu Zan" is the most suitable title for me now. It's also the most fitting title for me, I replied to Katsuragi with a faint smile.

  Is this your decision? Kujou asked me the same question once again.

  September, isn't the name "If Left Behind" not that bad? It's something I decided on after racking my brains. Jiǔ, I hope you can support me, even though I know it'll be tough for you to make this decision.

  I don't want you to use that name.

  He addressed me. I smiled and corrected his misused word.

  I don't want you to use that title, but I won't stop you. It's just that I don't want to be called "Ruo Can". Jiuyue saw my radiant smile, but in his heart, it was as if a cold winter wind had struck.

  September!

  Listening to me with a pleading tone, yet paired with an still dazzling smile, Jiǔ Yuè's heart felt a sense of unease.

  No way!

  Jiǔ Yuè's tone was rarely so resolute, as if he had sensed something.

  Please! Just a word would be fine, can't Kugetsu understand me? I knew Kugetsu would definitely know, but I still hope Kugetsu will support me, even if it's just verbal.

  September is different from everyone else.

  Just when I thought he wouldn't speak for nine months, he slowly opened his mouth... Understanding is not the same as forgiveness.

  In September, having already known it was a dead-end road, he still had to watch his companion walk down without hesitation, and even become one of the pushers, helping him make up his mind. This was cruel for Jiu Yue.

  Don't worry, nothing is certain yet, I promised you, you won't die, I won't die.

  I'm not just worried about my own death! But... if this is really your decision, then I have mine too. Jiǔ Yuè changed the subject, "If you're already out of that unkillable field of view, don't forget you still owe me a scolding."

  It's really a close call, he's still alive and has all his limbs, indeed leaving safely; even if he didn't cut ties, he's not the kind of person who would come after you, so there's no danger anymore, right? What's wrong with Jiuyue anyway?

  However, at this time I only care about hearing Jyuugetsu shout out "Nokosare", I'm very happy, but again was discovered! Is it true that I really don't have any talent for hiding secrets, Sandaime will discover, Shiro will discover, even Jyuugetsu can discover, looks like I really need to practice this aspect of technique.

  I was deliriously trying my best not to lose consciousness, but after making sure that Bai and I were out of Jian's line of sight, I soon relaxed and fainted.

  Whether it's the wound on my body, the fever or the pressure and fatigue accumulated over the past three months, they all make my current physical condition extremely poor, not allowing me to hold on for another second.

  "Adult...... If residual...... if...... residual......" It feels like a very sad name, Bai murmured.

  After Ruoxuan said some incoherent words, she fainted. The warmth of her palm made Bai anxious to find a place for Ruoxuan to rest well.

  But let's not mention that Bai had no money on him and couldn't stay in a hotel, this nearby village didn't even have such facilities, let alone asking villagers to borrow a place to stay, so Bai was left with only one choice.

  Bai gritted his teeth and silently supported the unconscious Ruo Can as he headed towards what he once called home.