Chapter 15: Strengthening

  I don't know how long I stood in a daze in front of my parents' graves, but when I returned to the house to wake up Bai, I didn't expect that as soon as I touched him, he would look like he had been startled awake, leaving me feeling inexplicably strange.

  Am I that scary?

  "Bai, what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?" Seeing Bai covered in cold sweat and looking slightly dazed, it indeed seemed like he had just had a bad dream.

  Bai turned his head to look at Ruo Canshen, and in his mind, he involuntarily recalled the struggles of Ruo Canshen before falling asleep, as well as his unusually calm expression. The two scenes kept intersecting in his dreams, and suddenly he felt someone touching him, so Bai woke up.

  Bai looked at her situation blankly, as if she didn't understand how she ended up on the bed that was originally for Ruo Xi to sleep.

  "That's right, I woke up myself and put you on the bed, it wasn't you who drove me out of bed, don't mind." Bai didn't answer my question, but I didn't mind either. People who just wake up are always in a daze for a while, maybe Bai didn't hear me ask him.

  Besides, I was just casually asking, so seeing him staring blankly at me, I didn't pay attention either and turned around to divide the white porridge into two bowls, preparing one bowl for each of us.

  Looking at the faint figure, Bai's confusion drove him to ask: "Sir, you...you were just sleeping on the bed...are you okay? Did you have any dreams? Was it a nightmare?"

  "What's wrong? Did something happen while I was sleeping?" Otherwise, why would Bai Ganma ask like that.

  Seeing Yu Fan's bewildered face, Bai simply shook his head and stopped talking.

  Are you dreaming?

  Speaking of which, I think it's been more than half a year since I last dreamed about the past. It's still quite nostalgic to say that it shouldn't be considered a nightmare, at most it's just reminiscing about the past. If you call it a nightmare, then didn't I used to live in a nightmare?

  And every day is almost the same, it should be that kind of thing that appears more miserable than usual, or an unbearable shock, that counts as a nightmare?

  "A dream? It's okay, it wasn't a nightmare!" But still, it's quite strange that you would ask me this question out of the blue.

  Bai seemed to let out a sigh of relief after hearing my answer, what a strange reaction!

  I shrugged indifferently and thought for a moment before saying, "At most, it's just dreaming about past life. Nothing much, thinking carefully, I seem to dream every time I sleep in bed, all are ordinary things that happen, nothing special." I answered Bai's question casually, not noticing the sudden change in his expression as he was facing away from me while cooking porridge.

  "Ah! Alright." I held a bowl of white porridge in one hand, turned around and handed it to Bai, but he was still stunned and didn't react to my action.

  I thought it was Bai who saw the scar on my right arm and said casually, "You've noticed it, huh? It's nothing, just some old scars that look a bit serious, but they're actually all healed up inside. They won't affect my movements at all. Although these small injuries have been gone for so long, it's a bit strange that the scars haven't faded away."

  Oh my, it scared me. I casually asked Jiuyue, "Jiuyue, why won't these scars ever heal?" I don't want to wear long-sleeved clothes all summer, it'll be too eye-catching, although I personally don't mind.

  These scars, they don't just hurt your body, but you also don't want to be well.

  How is it possible? The wound was clearly on his arm! Who wouldn't want their injury to heal?!

  Finally, after a moment of silence, Jiǔ Yuè replied to me: Your heart isn't thinking that way. Your heart has never had any good intentions, so these scars won't disappear.

  I don't understand. I genuinely want a healthy body, who would want a broken-down body? Isn't an intact body better?

  It wasn't until later that I truly understood these words, even though I left that place, my heart never did, and every time in my dreams, the past nightmares would repeat themselves, like a maggot attached to bone, following me like a shadow.

  Forget it, let's eat. "Here, take this and have some congee!" I put the congee into her pale hands, then downed mine in one gulp.

  I scratched my cheek and felt a bit unsatisfied, so I went to find some military rations in my luggage to eat.

  Military Rations Pills are a type of ninja food that is often used to replace regular meals when on a mission. They are small and contain all the necessary nutrients for a normal person's daily needs, except they don't provide a feeling of fullness or have an unusual taste. Military Rations Pills can satisfy the body's normal demands even more than eating three meals, and they also replenish chakra. Because I always keep two layers of chakra circulating around my body, the outer layer is mainly used to conceal my chakra aura, while the inner layer serves as a substitute for Gaara's Sand Armor. Since my inner layer doesn't have an automatic protection function like Gaara's Sand Armor, I use a special circulation method to constantly maintain it, which requires a large amount of chakra. At first, I could only use Jiraiya's chakra to sustain the basic circulation, but now it's much better - at least the inner layer is made by myself. However, my total chakra reserve still hasn't exceeded 50%, so consuming Military Rations Pills is also somewhat helpful for me.

  For the past three months, I've been eating three meals a day. After all, I don't have much time to prepare normal food, and even if Jiuyue asked me to buy some mantou or bread, which are convenient foods, I would still need to pass through towns to do so. However, most of my journey has been spent in the wilderness, where it's strange for a three-year-old child to be seen alone outside. Secondly, I don't like crowded places and never have. Thirdly, eating only military rations leaves an empty feeling in the stomach, which is why ninjas rarely eat them long-term unless they have no other choice.

  Also, after the ninth month gave me Chakra, I found that my physical consumption increased greatly. If I didn't eat like this, I wouldn't have enough physical strength to use the Chakra given by the ninth month. No wonder "Naruto" can eat several bowls of ramen every time he returns to Konoha after a mission.

  Bai was deeply shocked after hearing what Ruo Can had just said. He didn't know what Ruo Can's past had been like, but he understood that it absolutely wasn't something that could be taken lightly, at least not something that a person should be able to gloss over so easily.

  He opened his mouth several times, but ultimately didn't know what to say.

  I can't change the past of adults, but... “Adults! I will become stronger!” Only one thought was left in Bai's heart.

  I stared at Bai in surprise, I didn't know how he suddenly came up with that sentence, but in an instant, I turned into a smile, "Of course, my tool can't be so weak."

  Whether it's your heart or strength, you still need a lot of training!

  I feel like this chapter is still a bit lacking, but for now it's just temporary, and I'll revise it again when I have the chance.

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