“Miles?” she called. “Miles Stompfoot? Over here!”
Miles’ eyes searched the crowd feverishly, finally alighting upon the comely, adorable form of a familiar-looking elf maiden. His face broke out into a wide, beaming smile as he strode towards her.
“Lorarona?” he trilled. “Great to see you!” He moved in for a bear hug, lifting her clean off the floor. After a few moments, he put her down and beheld her.
He looked around in mild embarrassment. “So you didn’t have anywhere better to go either, huh?”
“No,” she replied coyly. “I was always more of a solo artist. What’s your excuse?”
Miles shrugged. “The guilds want warriors that can follow orders, the city watch doesn’t take anarchists, and…I’m too refined for the other barbarians.”
Lorarona’s eyes lit up. “Really? Your family couldn’t put a word in for you?”
Miles shook his head as he glanced down demurely. “They’ve practically disowned me. My father even said I don’t love violence enough!”
“That’s preposterous!” Lorarona complained. “Didn’t he ever look at your school disciplinary record?”
“Sure,” Miles related. “He said the fact that I actually graduated told him all he needed to know.”
“Well, don’t mind him,” Lorarona assured, batting him playfully. “We’ve got a bright future ahead of us.”
Miles scanned over their surroundings uneasily. Lorarona joined him, looking nervous. “Just as soon as we figure out how to get it started.”
Miles threw his hands up in exasperation. “I can’t believe it’s come to this.”
They stood in a large room, windows and seats around the edge, and many others like them standing in the open space. A stately counter barricaded a third of the area, separating the bureaucrats and their ever-cluttered desks from the riff-raff. Close behind them stood a wall, frequent doors leading to more obscure locations. All around Miles churned a crowd of lost-looking souls, most of them in full adventuring gear. Some, like them, looked as green as catalpas, their blades polished, their armor clean and unspoiled. Many others sported outfits that spoke of broad experience, and the patina of filth that betrayed that they had slept in it. All waited nervously for the same call.
“347!” a loud voice rang out. A portly, disheveled fighter, stumbling unsteadily through the crowd, made his way to the counter. He gulped nervously as the bureaucrat narrowed her eyes, her face curling into a disapproving sneer.
“They call it Adventurer Relations, do they?” Miles announced, reading the prominently-displayed sign hanging from the high ceiling. “More like a cattle call for the desperate.”
“Or those of us starting out,” Lorarona reminded. “There are worse places we could end up.”
“Not many,” Miles grumbled.
“I knew I’d find you two here,” a voice mocked from behind them. Miles and Lorarona whirled around to see a familiar-looking half-orc ninja standing there, grinning flippantly.
“Kurlnuk!” Lorarona barked. Then her expression softened. “Casting your fate to the whims of city government, too, are you?”
“You know I’m not a joiner,” he scoffed. “And it’s Noninja now. I’ve decided to use a stage name.”
Miles arched his eyebrows. “Isn’t it a bit early for that? You don’t even have a reputation yet.”
“I will,” Noninja asserted. “It’s inevitable. I’m simply too good at this.”
Lorarona looked him up and down. “Well, you’re certainly dressed the part. Although I remember you wearing all black, even before specializing in ninja studies.”
“But now,” Noninja declared, his hands flowing over his trim form, “this is my business suit.”
Miles looked closer. “Is that leather armor?” He smirked. “Don’t ninjas usually wear silk robes or something?”
“The stupid ones do,” Noninja growled. “The ones that wanna get stabbed.” He assumed several lithe poses, drawing the attention of a few around them. “This leather’s been treated heavily to stretch. It’s as smooth as silk, but protects much better.”
If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
“OK, OK, I believe you,” Miles dismissed. “Just…stop doing that.”
Noninja stopped posing and stood at ease. “Lorarona liked it.”
Miles turned to look at her; Lorarona’s cheeks were flushed. She cleared her throat nervously and looked at her ticket. “So, how long until we get called?”
“It looks really busy in here today,” Noninja sighed. “It could be hours. And the chairs were taken long ago.”
“Isn’t there anything we can do?” Miles groaned.
“Well, sure,” Lorarona pointed out, “but we’d need one more person.”
Miles’ brow furrowed. “What?”
“Don’t you know anything?” Noninja ridiculed. “You really are a barbarian.” He shook his head dismissively. “Most available jobs are for teams, so they don’t have to wait as long.” He glanced over their small group. “We’ve got a heavy-weapons guy,” he pointed out, indicating Miles, “a light-weapons guy,” referring to himself, “and a medic,” waving briefly toward Lorarona.
“I’m a bard!” she protested. “I’m not just here to fix your boo-boos.”
“Bards have extensive healing powers,” Noninja reminded. “And if we’re trying to pass ourselves off as a team, we need a healer.”
Lorarona groaned and rolled her eyes. “Fine,” she seethed. “But we still need another person.”
“That’s right,” Miles joined in. “Command and control, right? Someone to call in air strikes?”
“Which, for all practical purposes,” Noninja clarified, “means a wizard or sorcerer.”
“I think we should get a sorcerer,” Lorarona piped up. “After all, we’re fresh out of school, barely graduated. At our level, native ability overpowers book learning.”
“I don’t think we can afford to be picky,” Miles sighed. “Just someone that can help us form a team.”
“Sure, but who?” Lorarona asked. “Got any ideas, Noninja?”
He didn’t answer; he stared off into the distance, not moving.
“Noninja?” Lorarona called again. Still no response.
She grinned impishly. “Kurlnuk?”
“I told you not to call me that!” he retorted, throwing her a withering look. “I think we just found our mark…I mean, the fourth member of our team.”
“Who?” Miles asked. But Noninja had already begun to stroll away. Wearing confused looks, Miles and Lorarona followed.
Miles’ eyes grew wide. “No,” he protested. “Not him.”
“Who?” Lorarona asked, peering ahead of them.
“But why not?” Noninja asked, a devious smirk blooming from his lips. “He’d be perfect.”
“But he’s such a nerd,” Miles complained. “I can hardly stand to be around him.”
“Then we’ll just have to work on his social skills,” Noninja declared. “He’ll have to be our project. But if anyone’s got the chops to become a powerful wizard, it’d be him.”
Noninja pointed ahead. “Besides, look at him! He’s more lost than we are! I think he’d have trouble finding a doorway at this point!”
Lorarona’s eyes lit up. “Him? Oh, he’d be great!” She smiled. “He was always so nice to me.”
“That’s two votes in favor,” Noninja tallied as he leered at Miles. “Any further objections?”
Miles let out a long, exasperated sigh. “I can’t believe we’re really doing this.”
“Hey, Clancy!” Noninja called out. A bookish nerd, clad in an elegant robe, jumped at the sound of his name. He turned and stared frantically in the voice’s direction, before his face exploded with a beaming smile. “Kurlnuk? Boy, am I glad to see you!”
Noninja held Clancy in a fraternal embrace; Clancy hugged back, an undignified giggle escaping from him. “Us too! And I’m Noninja now.”
“Really?” Clancy snickered, waving a finger. “Don’t you ever stop being ironic?”
Noninja feigned a look of surprise, and shivered comically. “What? Perish the thought!” He and Clancy shared a laugh.
He turned to look at Lorarona. “Wow! Great to see you again!” Clancy moved in for a heartfelt hug; Lorarona looked taken aback, and patted Clancy hesitantly. He finally released his hold. “You were always so nice to me.”
“Yeah, you too,” Lorarona mumbled.
Clancy’s face fell as he beheld Miles. “But not you. I’m sick of your mean-spirited pranks.”
Miles’ mouth hung open as he gaped speechlessly. Noninja quickly interposed himself between them. “But that’s all in the past, buddy!” he chimed. “I was thinking we could form an adventuring team. We’ll make a name for ourselves in no time!”
Clancy stared into space, his eyes full of stars. “Yeah!” he gushed. “That’s much better than going solo!” He stared fervently at Noninja. “Besides, the line’s a lot shorter for teams, isn’t it?”
Noninja gave Clancy’s back a friendly slap. “That it is. Let’s go get our new ticket!”
“Way ahead of you!” Clancy shrilled as he ran off. Noninja chortled as he moved to follow.
“So that’s it?” Miles snorted. “Just like that, he’s part of the team?”
Noninja threw Miles a disapproving look as he walked away. “Are you kidding? You can’t buy that kind of enthusiasm. Face it, Miles…at this point, you’re the odd man out.”
Lorarona rushed to catch up with Noninja. “Seriously, an urbarian?” he mocked as he turned to her. “Who does that?”
Miles swallowed nervously and followed glumly.
Noninja, male half-orc ninja 1 (Core Rulebook p. 25, Ultimate Combat p. 13)
CN medium humanoid (human, orc)
< Init +3(Dex). Senses: Darkvision 60 ft. Perception: +8
AC 16, touch 13, flat-footed 13 (+3 Dex, +3 armor)
Special Defenses:
? orc ferocity (1/day, when brought below 0 HP but not killed, fight 1 more round as if disabled.
Next turn, unless brought above 0 HP, falls unconscious and begins dying.)
HP: 7 (1(CL)*(d8+2(Con)))
Fort +2 (0 class, 2 Con), Ref +5 (2 class, 3 Dex), Will +2 (0 class, 2 Wis)
Speed: 30 ft.
Melee: katana (Ultimate Combat p. 251) +2(0 BAB, Str 2) (1d8+2(Str)/18-20/x2)
Range: short bow +3 (0 BAB, 3 Dex) (1d6+3(Dex)/20/x3)
Str 15/2, Dex 16/3, Con 14/2, Int 15/2, Wis 14/2, Cha 12/1
Base Atk +0. CMB +2 (0 BAB, 2 Str). CMD 15 (10, 0 BAB, 2 Str, 3 Dex)
Special Attacks:
? poison use (cannot accidentally poison self when applying poison to a weapon)
? sneak attack +1d6 (when opponent denied Dex bonus, or is flanked; not multiplied w/crit)
Feats: 1(class level):
? Alertness (Core Rulebook p. 117): +2 on Perception/Sense Motive
Skills: 10 (1(CL)*(8+2(Int))):
? Acrobatics +2 (3 Dex, -1 armor check)
? Appraise +2 (2 Int, 0 class skill)
? Bluff +1 (1 Cha, 0 class skill)
? Climb +5 (2 Str, 1 rank, 3 class skill, -1 armor check)
? Craft (not used, class skill)
? Diplomacy +5 (1 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Disable Device +6 (3 Dex, 1 rank, 3 class skill, -1 armor check)
? Disguise +1 (1 Cha, 0 class skill)
? Escape Artist +6 (3 Dex, 1 rank, 3 class skill, -1 armor check)
? Intimidate +7 (1 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill, 2 racial)
? Knowledge (local) +6 (2 Int, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Knowledge (nobility) (2 Int, 0 trained class skill)
? Linguistics +6 (2 Int, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Perception +8 (2 Wis, 1 rank, 3 class skill, 2 Alertness feat)
? Perform (not used, class skill)
? Profession (not used, class skill)
? Sense Motive +4 (2 Wis, 2 Alertness feat)
? Sleight Of Hand (3 Dex, 0 trained class skill, -1 armor check)
? Stealth +6 (3 Dex, 1 rank, 3 class skill, -1 armor check)
? Swim +5 (2 Str, 1 rank, 3 class skill, -1 armor check)
? Use Magic Device (1 Cha, 0 trained class skill)
Languages: Common, Orc
Equipment: flask, trail rations, pouch, lock pick
? studded leather armor (+3, max Dex +5, -1 armor check)
XP: 0
GP: 100
Miles, male human barbarian 1 (Core Rulebook p. 27, Core Rulebook p. 31)
CN medium humanoid
Init +1(Dex). Perception: +6
AC 15, touch 11, flat-footed 14 (+1 Dex, +1 dodge, +4 hide armor)
HP: 10 (1(CL)*(d12+1(Con)))
Fort +5(2 class, 3 Con), Ref +1(0 class, 1 Dex), Will +2(0 class, 2 Wis)
Speed: 40 ft. (30 human, 10 fast-movement class special-quality)
Melee: greataxe (Core Rulebook p. 143) +4 (1 BAB, 3 Str) (1d12+3(Str)/20/x3)
or scimitar +4 (1 BAB, 3 Str) (1d6+3(Str)/18-20/x2
or shield (light) (1d3x20/x2)
Special Attacks:
? rage 7 rounds/day (2(CL+1)+3(Con)): +4 morale bonus to Str & Con;
+2 morale bonus on Will saves; -2 AC; +2 temp HP/HD;
can't use Cha/Dex/Int skills except Acrobatics, Fly, Intimidate, and Ride; afterwards fatigued for 2*round spent
raging (Core Rulebook p. 567: can't run or charge, -2 to Str & Dex, any additional fatigue causes creature to be exhausted).
Str 17/3, Dex 13/1, Con 17/3, Int 12/1, Wis 15/2, Cha 9/-1
Base Atk +1. CMB +4 (1 BAB, 3 Str). CMD 15 (10, 1 BAB, 3 Str, 1 Dex)
Feats: 2(1 class level, 1 human)
? Dodge (Core Rulebook p. 122): +1 dodge bonus to AC.
? Persuasive (Core Rulebook p. 131): +2 Diplomacy/Intimidate
Skills: 6 (1(CL)*(4+1(Int)+1(human)))
? Acrobatics -1 (1 Dex, 0 class skill, -2 armor check)
? Climb +5 (3 Str, 1 rank, 3 class skill, -2 armor check)
? Craft (not used, class skill)
? Diplomacy +2 (-1 Cha, 1 rank, 2 Persuasive feat)
? Handle Animal (-1 Cha, 0 trained class skill)
? Intimidate +5 (-1 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill, 2 Persuasive feat)
? Knowledge (nature) (1 Int, 0 trained class skill)
? Perception +6 (2 Wis, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Ride -1 (1 Dex, 0 class skill, -2 armor check)
? Survival +6 (2 Wis, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Swim +5 (3 Str, 1 rank, 3 class skill, -2 armor check)
Languages: Common
Equipment: hide armor (+4, max Dex +4, armor check -2)
Special Qualities:
? fast movement (extra 10 ft. to base speed)
XP: 0
GP: 100
Lorarona, female elf bard 1 (Core Rulebook p. 22, Core Rulebook p. 34)
CG medium humanoid
Init +0(Dex). Senses: low-light vision. Perception: +8
AC 11, touch 10, flat-footed 11 (+0 Dex, 1 armor)
HP: 6 (1(CL)*(d8-1(Con)))
Special Defenses:
? immune to magic sleep effects (racial)
? +2 saving throw bonus against enchantment spells and effects (racial)
Fort -1(0 class, -1 Con), Ref +2(2 class, 0 Dex), Will +4(2 class, 2 Wis)
Speed: 30 ft.
Melee:
? whip (Core Rulebook p. 143) +1 (0 BAB, 1 Str) (1d3+1(Str)/20/x2)
? disarm (+2 CMB to disarm an enemy)
? nonlethal
? reach (strike opponents 10 feet away, but not adjacent foe)
? trip (can be used to make trip combat-maneuver)
Range: shortbow +0 (0 BAB, 0 Dex) (1d6+0(Dex)/20/x3)
Special Attacks:
? bardic performance: 7/day (2*(CL+1)+3(Cha))
? countersong: Perform(keyboard, percussion, wind, string, or sing) to allow
creature affected by sonic or language-dependent magical attack to
additionally make a saving throw with the bard's Perform check result.
? distraction: Perform(act, comedy, dance, or oratory) to allow creature
affected by illusion(pattern) or illusion(figment) to additionally make
a saving throw with the bard's Perform check result.
? fascinate: Perform(any) to cause 1(CL) creatures to make DC 13 (10+CL+Cha)
Will save or become fascinated (Core Rulebook p. 567). Nearby combat,
or other dangers, prevents this from working. A creature that makes its
saving throw cannot be affected again for 24 hours.
? inspire courage +1: Perform to inspire courage in allies, i.e. +1 morale
bonus on saving throws against charm and fear effects, +1 competence
bonus on attack and weapon-damage rolls.
Spells (CL 1st, concentration +4(1 CL, 3 Cha), save 13(10, 3 Cha) plus spell level,
? racial +2 bonus on DC checks made to overcome spell resistance):
? Level 0:
? flare (Core Rulebook p. 284): Fort save or creature dazzled for 1 minute
? detect magic (Core Rulebook p. 267)
? daze (Core Rulebook p. 264): Will save or one humanoid creature of 4 or less
HD takes no actions for 1 round
? read magic (Core Rulebook p. 330)
? Level 1: 2(1+1B)/day
? cure light wounds (Core Rulebook p. 263): Channel positive energy to
heal 1d8+1(CL) HP. Harms undead. Will save and SR if creature unwilling.
? summon monster I (Core Rulebook p. 350)
Str 12/1, Dex 11/0, Con 9/-1, Int 17/3, Wis 15/2, Cha 16/3
Base Atk +0. CMB +1 (0 BAB, 1 Str). CMD 11 (10, 0 BAB, 1 Str, 0 Dex)
Feats: 1(class level)
? Deceitful (Core Rulebook p. 121): +2 Bluff/Disguise
Skills: 9 (1(CL)*(6+3(Int)))
? Acrobatics +0 (0 Dex, 0 class skill)
? Appraise +3 (3 Int, 0 class skill)
? Bluff +9 (3 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill, 2 Deceitful feat)
? Climb +1 (1 Str, 0 class skill)
? Craft (not used, class skill)
? Diplomacy +7 (3 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Disguise +9 (3 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill, 2 Deceitful feat)
? Escape Artist +0 (0 Dex, 0 class skill)
? Intimidate +3 (3 Cha, 0 class skill)
? Knowledge (history, local) +8 (3 Int, 1 rank, 3 class skill, 1 bardic knowledge)
? Knowledge (all others) +4 (3 Int, 1 bardic knowledge)
? Linguistics (3 Int, 0 trained class skill)
? Perception +8 (2 Wis, 1 rank, 3 class skill, 2 racial)
? Perform (comedy) +7 (3 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Profession (not used, class skill)
? Sense Motive +6 (2 Wis, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Sleight Of Hand (0 Dex, 0 trained class skill)
? Spellcraft +7 (3 Int, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? +2 racial to identify properties of magic items
? Stealth +0 (0 Dex, 0 class skill)
? Use Magic Device (3 Cha, 0 trained class skill)
Languages: Common
Equipment: whip, shortbow, backpack, bedroll, flask, trail rations
? Silken armor (Ultimate Combat p.129): +1 AC
Special Qualities:
? bardic knowledge: add CL to all Knowledge checks;
may make all Knowledge skill checks untrained
? cantrips (unlimited casting of 0-level spells)
XP: 0
GP: 100
Clancy, male human wizard (universalist) 1 (Core Rulebook p. 27, Core Rulebook p. 77)
NG medium humanoid (human)
Init +2(Dex), Perception +2
AC 15, touch 13, flat-footed 12 (+2 Dex, +2 armor, +1 dodge)
HP: 5 (1(CL)*(d6-1(Con)))
Fort -1 (0 class, -1 Con), Ref +2 (0 class, 2 Dex), Will +4 (2 class, 2 Wis)
Speed: 30 ft.
Special Attacks:
? Hand of the Apprentice 7/day (3+4(Int)) (Core Rulebook p. 82: melee weapon
can be used as a range attack with a thrown weapon, using Int modifier instead of Dex
on attack roll)
Spells (CL 1st, concentration +5(1 CL, 4 Int), save 14(10, 4 Int) plus spell level:
? 6 (1+2*1(CL)+4(Int)) non-cantrips in book, cast 1 unprepared spell/day (arcane bond)
? Level 0 (all in book): prepare 4/day
? Level 1: prepare 2(1+1B)/day
? Magic missile
Str 9/-1, Dex 14/2, Con 9/-1, Int 18/4, Wis 15/2, Cha 7/-3 (racial +2 bonus to Int)
Base Atk +0. CMB -1 (0 BAB, -1 Str). CMD 11 (10, 0 BAB, -1 Str, 2 Dex)
Feats: 2(1 class level, 1 human)
? Dodge (Core Rulebook p. 122): +1 dodge bonus to AC.
? Light Armor ProficiencyB (Core Rulebook p. 118): armor check penalty only for Dex/Str skills
Skills: 7 (1(CL)*(2+4(Int)+1(human)))
? Appraise +8 (4 Int, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Craft (not used, class skill)
? Escape Artist +2 (2 Dex, 0 armor check)
? Fly +2 (2 Dex, class skill, 0 armor check)
? Heal +3 (2 Wis, 1 rank)
? Knowledge (any) (not used, class skill)
? Linguistics +7 (4 Int, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Profession (not used, class skill)
? Sense Motive +4 (2 Wis)
? Spellcraft +8 (4 Int, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
Equipment: (starting wealth 110)
? eyeglasses (Arcane Bond object, head slot)
? dagger (2 gp, Core Rulebook p. 142)
? light crossbow (35 gp, Core Rulebook p. 142)
? 20 crossbow bolts (2 gp, Core Rulebook p. 142)
? leather armor (10 gp, Core Rulebook p. 151)
Special Qualities:
? Arcane bond (eyeglasses): cast 1 unprepared spell per day
? Cantrips
? Arcane school (universalist)
? Scribe scroll
XP: 0
GP: 60
