The team walked up to the quiet building. “Looks like this is the place,” Lorarona announced. The outside of the wooden building was moderately weathered. A layer of dust and grime coated the area around the door.
“I don’t think there’s any point in knocking,” Clancy observed. “It looks like no one has been through here in some time.”
“Well done, wizard,” Miles mocked. “We would have never figured that out ourselves.”
“Wow, look!” Clancy announced, pointing down the street. “Elephant parade!”
“Where?” Miles gushed. “I love elephants!” He looked around eagerly, stopping to realize everyone else was snickering at him.
“You’re on fire today!” Lorarona chimed, leaning toward Clancy.
“Talk about failing your perception checks, huh?” he replied, his eyes twinkling. “Because bluffing isn’t one of my skills.”
Noninja looked closely at the doorknob. “I can pick this,” he declared, “but it’ll take a minute or so.”
“Why don’t I just break it down?” Miles offered.
Noninja glared at him. “In public? In daytime? Are you crazy?”
“Crazy like a fox!” Miles proudly thundered. “You think picking the lock is any more subtle?”
“It would at least be quieter,” Noninja pointed out.
“Ugh,” Lorarona groaned. “Why don’t you two take a walk around the building and look for other entrances.”
Noninja glared at Miles. “What, work together?”
“Yeah,” Clancy added. “I think it’ll be good for you two.”
They grumbled as they left the front of the building and turned the corner.
“Not bad!” Lorarona chimed. “We’ll make a leader out of you yet!”
“I don’t think that was leadership,” Clancy admitted. “I think I’m just too socially clueless to not say what’s on my mind.”
“Still, you’re saying what’s on your mind,” Lorarona complimented. “That’s one step towards taking charge.”
“I don’t know how to explain it,” Clancy revealed. “I’ve felt different ever since we all started working together. Like I’m coming out of my shell.”
“That’s great!” Lorarona cheered, putting her hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad we’re having a positive influence.”
“I don’t think that’s it,” Clancy clarified. “I see people like Noninja and Miles, and I think to myself, am I really any less capable of dealing with people than those two? If they can bumble from one social disaster to another, and not worry about it, why can’t I?”
“That’s the spirit!” Lorarona laughed. “You’re a regular person, just like us.”
“No,” he answered shyly. “Not like you.” He paused uncomfortably for a moment. “I could never perform in public like you. I would freeze up. And writing comedy? That’s so far beyond me, I hardly know how to describe it.”
“Writing comedy is easy,” she admitted. “I mostly just look at what’s around me, realize it’s utterly ridiculous, and then talk about it. Humor is mostly rejection.”
Clancy looked thoughtful. “I might be able to work with that. But performing in public is still outside my realm.”
“That actually follows from humor,” she revealed. “Once you realize everything is stupid, it’s easy to get in front of a crowd of people, look at them, and realize they’re not worth being afraid of. Instead, I simply decide I own and control all of them.”
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
Clancy stared forward with fascination. “It sounds so easy when you describe it.”
“The basics are easy,” she revealed. “But it can take a lifetime to get good at it. And even magic can’t help sometimes.”
“How do you mean?”
“Have you heard of the spell ‘hideous laughter’?” she asked. “It doesn’t work as well on creatures of different types, for the simple reason that humor doesn’t ‘travel well’.”
“I’ve heard that,” Clancy concurred, “but I don’t have personal experience with it. I won’t be able to cast it until I’m 3rd level.”
Her eyes twinkled. “Which, if we’re fortunate, will be after we explore this workshop!”
“You really think so?”
“Like you said, the front door hasn’t been used in some time. Unless the other two find a different way in, there’s a good chance the owner has met with a terrible fate. Unraveling what happened to him, and dealing with the consequences, could be all we need!”
“That sure would be nice,” he sighed. “I feel so vulnerable with the few spells I can cast.”
“That brings up something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” she pointed out. “It looks like you have something under your robe. As in, not just the usual tunic and leggings.”
Clancy grinned sheepishly and tugged on the collar of his wizard’s robe. Underneath was a full suit of leather armor.
Lorarona clucked her tongue. “That’s something you don’t see every day…an arcane spellcaster wearing armor.”
“It goes back to my frail childhood,” he confided. “I acquired light armor proficiency at a very young age.” He looked wistful for a moment. “And now, it seems even more appropriate.”
“Well, don’t worry,” she asserted. “We’ll still try to protect you in combat. I can’t wait for you to gain some levels and become a force to be reckoned with!”
He blushed. “Me either.”
They became aware of bickering sounds; Noninja and Miles rounded the corner, heading back toward the front door, engaged in some sort of debate.
“Well?” Lorarona asked. “What’s the verdict?”
“Just a bunch of fire exits,” Noninja reported. “No handles on the outside, and a deadbolt that’s nearly impossible to pick.”
“There’s not even enough of a gap for a crowbar,” Miles grumbled. “The front door is our only option.”
“Yeah, but how?” Noninja groused. “Picking the lock or breaking the door down will still attract attention.”
“I could cast ‘obscuring mist’,” Clancy offered, “but then people would notice they couldn’t see the door.”
Lorarona pondered the garbage cans across the street and smiled. “I have an idea. Clancy, go ahead and cast ‘obscuring mist’.” She moved away from the door. “Twenty foot radius, right?”
“Yeah, but…” he began.
“Just do it,” she commanded. “Together, we can make this happen.”
Clancy shrugged, moved closely to the front door, and cast the spell; as expected, a mist formed in a twenty-foot radius around him. Lorarona, standing near the edge, barely hidden by the fog, immediately cast a spell on the trash cans. They began to rattle gently, then more forcefully; without warning, the lids fell to the ground, and small pieces of garbage soared upward like a fountain, falling back into the can.
She cast another spell, and odd vocalizations poured forth from the garbage cans. “It’s a ghost!” someone shrieked; Lorarona smirked as panic arose among the passersby, and she watched them flee the area. Before long, the nearby streets were empty.
“That sounded hilarious,” Clancy called from inside the mist. “I wish I could have seen it.”
“Oh, it was nothing,” Lorarona dismissed. “Just some prestidigitation, followed by a ‘ghost sounds’ spell. A very effective combination.”
“I’m sorry I missed it too,” she heard Miles pipe up. “I’m surprised people are really that dumb.”
“Most people aren’t spellcasters, and don’t see magic except in very limited circumstances,” she reminded. “It may be difficult for us to comprehend, but many of them will work hard all their lives and only gain a few levels in ‘commoner’. Adventurer classes are completely beyond their comprehension.”
“Those poor sods,” Miles chortled. “Can you imagine running up against a venerable 5th level commoner, with profession ‘farmer’, and proficiency with raking? I’m quaking in my boots just thinking about it!”
“Will you keep it down?” Noninja growled. “I’m almost done with this lock.”
“What’s taking you so long?” Miles mocked.
“Isn’t it obvious? I can’t see what I’m doing. I have to pick it by feel.”
Miles sighed. “Sorry. I’m just sore because I wasn’t able to help.”
They all went silent; several seconds later, a metallic clink rang out. “It’s unlocked.”
“Finally,” they heard Miles cheer, “I can do something useful!” The door handle turned, followed by grunting sounds.
“Miles!” Lorarona chided. “Be careful!”
“Something’s blocking the door,” he reported. Some straining grunts, and then the sound of a small avalanche, coinciding with squeaky hinges. Heavy footsteps ingressed, their echoes revealing the inside to be mostly stonework.
“It’s fine,” he announced. “Nothing to–?”
His words were cut off by sudden whooshing sounds, followed by heavy thuds, a loud groan from him, and then the sound of a body crumpling to the floor.
“Miles? Are you OK?” There was no answer.
Noninja, male half-orc ninja 2 (Core Rulebook p. 25, Ultimate Combat p. 13)
CN medium humanoid (human, orc)
Init +3(Dex). Senses: Darkvision 60 ft. Perception: +9
AC 16, touch 13, flat-footed 13 (+3 Dex, +3 armor)
Special Defenses:
? orc ferocity (1/day, when brought below 0 HP but not killed, fight 1 more round as if disabled.
Next turn, unless brought above 0 HP, falls unconscious and begins dying.)
HP: 13 (2(CL)*(d8+2(Con)))
Fort +2 (0 class, 2 Con), Ref +6 (3 class, 3 Dex), Will +2 (0 class, 2 Wis)
Speed: 30 ft.
Melee: katana (Ultimate Combat p. 251) +3(1 BAB, Str 2) (1d8+2(Str)/18-20/x2)
Range: short bow +4 (1 BAB, 3 Dex) (1d6+3(Dex)/20/x3)
Str 15/2, Dex 16/3, Con 14/2, Int 15/2, Wis 14/2, Cha 12/1
Base Atk +1. CMB +3 (1 BAB, 2 Str). CMD 16 (10, 1 BAB, 2 Str, 3 Dex)
Special Attacks:
? poison use (cannot accidentally poison self when applying poison to a weapon)
? sneak attack +1d6 (when opponent denied Dex bonus, or is flanked; not multiplied w/crit)
? ki pool 2/day (?CL+Cha)
? ninja trick: bleeding attack
Feats: 1(class level):
? Alertness (Core Rulebook p. 117): +2 on Perception/Sense Motive
Skills: 20 (2(CL)*(8+2(Int))):
? Acrobatics +2 (3 Dex, 0 class skill, -1 armor check)
? Appraise +2 (2 Int, 0 class skill)
? Bluff +1 (1 Cha, 0 class skill)
? Climb +5 (2 Str, 1 rank, 3 class skill, -1 armor check)
? Craft (not used, class skill)
? Diplomacy +5 (1 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Disable Device +6 (3 Dex, 1 rank, 3 class skill, -1 armor check)
? Disguise +6 (1 Cha, 2 ranks, 3 class skill)
? Escape Artist +7 (3 Dex, 2 ranks, 3 class skill, -1 armor check)
? Fly +3 (3 Dex, 1 rank, -1 armor check)
? Heal +3 (2 Wis, 1 rank)
? Intimidate +7 (1 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill, 2 racial)
? Knowledge (local) +7 (2 Int, 2 ranks, 3 class skill)
? Knowledge (nobility) (2 Int, 0 trained class skill)
? Linguistics +7 (2 Int, 2 rank, 3 class skill)
? Perception +9 (2 Wis, 2 ranks, 3 class skill, 2 Alertness feat)
? Perform (not used, class skill)
? Profession (not used, class skill)
? Sense Motive +4 (2 Wis, 2 Alertness feat)
? Sleight Of Hand (3 Dex, 0 trained class skill, -1 armor check)
? Stealth +7 (3 Dex, 2 ranks, 3 class skill, -1 armor check)
? Swim +5 (2 Str, 1 rank, 3 class skill, -1 armor check)
? Use Magic Device +5 (1 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
Languages: Common, Orc
Equipment: flask, trail rations, pouch, lock pick
? 3 potions of cure light wounds
? studded leather armor (+3, max Dex +5, -1 armor check)
XP: 2200
GP: 100
Miles, male human barbarian 2 (Core Rulebook p. 27, Core Rulebook p. 31)
CN medium humanoid
Init +1(Dex). Perception: +7
AC 15, touch 11, flat-footed 14 (+1 Dex, +1 dodge, +4 hide armor)
Special Defenses:
? uncanny dodge (Core Rulebook p. 68): can’t be caught flat-footed,
keeps Dex bonus to AC against invisible opponent.
HP: 19 (2(CL)*(d12+1(Con)))
Fort +6(3 class, 3 Con), Ref +1(0 class, 1 Dex), Will +2(0 class, 2 Wis)
Speed: 40 ft. (30 human, 10 fast-movement class special-quality)
Melee: greataxe (Core Rulebook p. 143) +5 (2 BAB, 3 Str) (1d12+3(Str)/20/x3)
or scimitar +5 (2 BAB, 3 Str) (1d6+3(Str)/18-20/x2
or light shield (1d3x20/x2) (Core Rulebook p. 142/152) +3 (2 BAB, ?(offhand)*3(Str))
Special Attacks:
? rage 9 rounds/day (2(CL+1)+3(Con)): +4 morale bonus to Str & Con;
+2 morale bonus on Will saves; -2 AC; +2 temp HP/HD;
can't use Cha/Dex/Int skills except Acrobatics, Fly, Intimidate, and Ride; afterwards fatigued for 2*round spent
raging (Core Rulebook p. 567: can't run or charge, -2 to Str & Dex, any additional fatigue causes creature to be exhausted).
? rage power: intimidating glare (Core Rulebook p. 33): use move action to make
Intimidate check (Core Rulebook p. 99: DC 10 + foe HD + foe Wis modifier)
against adjacent foe. If made, foe is shaken for 1d4 rounds, plus 1 round
for every 5 points by which Intimidate check exceeded DC.
Str 17/3, Dex 13/1, Con 17/3, Int 12/1, Wis 15/2, Cha 9/-1
Base Atk +2. CMB +5 (2 BAB, 3 Str). CMD 16 (10, 2 BAB, 3 Str, 1 Dex)
Feats: 2(1 class level, 1 human)
? Dodge (Core Rulebook p. 122): +1 dodge bonus to AC.
? Persuasive (Core Rulebook p. 131): +2 Diplomacy/Intimidate
Skills: 12 (2(CL)*(4+1(Int)+1(human)))
? Acrobatics 3 (1 Dex, 1 rank, 3 class skill, -2 armor check)
? Climb +5 (3 Str, 1 rank, 3 class skill, -2 armor check)
? Craft (not used, class skill)
? Diplomacy +3 (-1 Cha, 2 ranks, 2 Persuasive feat)
? Handle Animal (-1 Cha, 0 trained class skill)
? Intimidate +6 (-1 Cha, 2 ranks, 3 class skill, 2 Persuasive feat)
? Knowledge (nature) (1 Int, 0 trained class skill)
? Perception +7 (2 Wis, 2 ranks, 3 class skill)
? Ride -1 (1 Dex, 0 class skill, -2 armor check)
? Sense Motive +4 (2 Wis, 2 ranks)
? Survival +6 (2 Wis, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Swim +5 (3 Str, 1 rank, 3 class skill, -2 armor check)
Languages: Common
Equipment: hide armor (+4, max Dex +4, armor check -2)
Special Qualities:
? fast movement (extra 10 ft. to base speed)
XP: 2200
GP: 100
Lorarona, female elf bard 2 (Core Rulebook p. 22, Core Rulebook p. 34)
CG medium humanoid
Init +0(Dex). Senses: low-light vision. Perception: +8
AC 11, touch 10, flat-footed 11 (+0 Dex, 1 armor)
HP: 13 (2(CL)*(d8-1(Con)))
Special Defenses:
? immune to magic sleep effects (racial)
? +2 saving throw bonus against enchantment spells and effects (racial)
? well-versed (Core Rulebook p. 38): +4 bonus on saving throws made against
bardic performances, sonic, and language-dependent effects
Fort -1(0 class, -1 Con), Ref +3(3 class, 0 Dex), Will +5(3 class, 2 Wis)
Speed: 30 ft.
Melee:
? whip (Core Rulebook p. 143) +2 (1 BAB, 1 Str) (1d3+1(Str)/20/x2)
? disarm (+2 CMB to disarm an enemy)
? nonlethal
? reach (strike opponents 10 feet away, but not adjacent foe)
? trip (can be used to make trip combat-maneuver)
Range: shortbow +1 (1 BAB, 0 Dex) (1d6+0(Dex)/20/x3)
Special Attacks:
? bardic performance: 9/day (2*(CL+1)+3(Cha))
? countersong: Perform(keyboard, percussion, wind, string, or sing) to allow
creature affected by sonic or language-dependent magical attack to
additionally make a saving throw with the bard's Perform check result.
? distraction: Perform(act, comedy, dance, or oratory) to allow creature
affected by illusion(pattern) or illusion(figment) to additionally make
a saving throw with the bard's Perform check result.
? fascinate: Perform(any) to cause 1(CL) creatures to make DC 14 (10+?CL+Cha)
Will save or become fascinated (Core Rulebook p. 567). Nearby combat,
or other dangers, prevents this from working. A creature that makes its
saving throw cannot be affected again for 24 hours.
? inspire courage +1: Perform to inspire courage in allies, i.e. +1 morale
bonus on saving throws against charm and fear effects, +1 competence
bonus on attack and weapon-damage rolls.
Spells (CL 2nd, concentration +5(2 CL, 3 Cha), save 13(10, 3 Cha) plus spell level,
? racial +2 bonus on DC checks made to overcome spell resistance):
? Level 0:
? flare (Core Rulebook p. 284): Fort save or creature dazzled for 1 minute
? detect magic (Core Rulebook p. 267)
? daze (Core Rulebook p. 264): Will save or one humanoid creature of 4 or less
HD takes no actions for 1 round
? read magic (Core Rulebook p. 330)
? mage hand (Core Rulebook p. 306): move one nonmagical, unattended object
weighing up to 5 lbs. up to 15 feet
? Level 1: 3(2+1B)/day
? cure light wounds (Core Rulebook p. 263): Channel positive energy to
heal 1d8+2(CL) HP. Harms undead. Will save and SR if creature unwilling.
? hideous laughter (Core Rulebook p. 296): Will save, spell resistance, or
target falls prone and can take no actions for 1 round/CL. New Will saving
throw each round. Making save is treated as target spent a full-round
action on its turn. Creature with Int <= 2 not affected. Creature whose
type is different from caster's gets +4 bonus on Will save.
? summon monster I (Core Rulebook p. 350)
Str 12/1, Dex 11/0, Con 9/-1, Int 17/3, Wis 15/2, Cha 16/3
Base Atk +1. CMB +2 (1 BAB, 1 Str). CMD 12 (10, 1 BAB, 1 Str, 0 Dex)
Feats: 1(class level)
? Deceitful (Core Rulebook p. 121): +2 Bluff/Disguise
Skills: 18 (2(CL)*(6+3(Int)))
? Acrobatics +4 (0 Dex, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Appraise +7 (3 Int, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Bluff +9 (3 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill, 2 Deceitful feat)
? Climb +1 (1 Str, 0 class skill)
? Craft (not used, class skill)
? Diplomacy +7 (3 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Disguise +9 (3 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill, 2 Deceitful feat)
? Escape Artist +4 (0 Dex, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Heal +3 (2 Wis, 1 rank)
? Intimidate +7 (3 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Knowledge (history, local) +8 (3 Int, 1 rank, 3 class skill, 1 bardic knowledge)
? Knowledge (all others) +4 (3 Int, 1 bardic knowledge)
? Linguistics +7 (3 Int, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Perception +8 (2 Wis, 1 rank, 3 class skill, 2 racial)
? Perform (comedy) +7 (3 Cha, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Profession (not used, class skill)
? Sense Motive +6 (2 Wis, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Sleight Of Hand (0 Dex, 0 trained class skill)
? Spellcraft +7 (3 Int, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? +2 racial to identify properties of magic items
? Stealth +5 (0 Dex, 2 ranks, 3 class skill)
? Survival +3 (2 Wis, 1 rank)
? Use Magic Device (3 Cha, 0 trained class skill)
Languages: Common
Equipment: whip, shortbow, backpack, bedroll, flask, trail rations
? Silken armor (Ultimate Combat p.129): +1 AC
Special Qualities:
? bardic knowledge: add ?CL to all Knowledge checks;
may make all Knowledge skill checks untrained
? cantrips (unlimited casting of 0-level spells)
? versatile performance (Core Rulebook p. 38): choose one Perform skill
(so, comedy). Use that skill bonus in place of other skill bonuses
(for comedy, Bluff and Intimidate)
XP: 2200
GP: 100
Clancy, male human wizard (universalist) 2 (Core Rulebook p. 27, Core Rulebook p. 77)
NG medium humanoid (human)
Init +2(Dex), Perception +2
AC 15, touch 13, flat-footed 12 (+2 Dex, +2 armor, +1 dodge)
HP: 10 (2(CL)*(d6-1(Con)))
Fort -1 (0 class, -1 Con), Ref +2 (0 class, 2 Dex), Will +5 (3 class, 2 Wis)
Speed: 30 ft.
Melee: dagger (Core Rulebook p. 142) -1 (0 BAB, -1 Str) (1d4-1(Str)/19-20/x2)
Range: light crossbow (Core Rulebook p. 142) +2 (0 BAB, 2 Dex) (1d8+2(Dex)/19-20/x2/80 ft.)
Special Attacks:
? Hand of the Apprentice 7/day (3+4(Int)) (Core Rulebook p. 82): melee weapon
can be used as a range attack with a thrown weapon, using Int modifier instead of Dex
on attack roll)
Spells (CL 2nd, concentration +6(2 CL, 4 Int), save 14(10, 4 Int) plus spell level:
? 8 (1+2*2(CL)+4(Int)) non-cantrips in book, cast 1 unprepared spell/day (arcane bond)
? Level 0 (all in book): prepare 4/day
? Level 1: prepare 3(2+1B)/day
? Magic missile
Str 9/-1, Dex 14/2, Con 9/-1, Int 18/4, Wis 15/2, Cha 7/-3 (racial +2 bonus to Int)
Base Atk +1. CMB 0 (1 BAB, -1 Str). CMD 12 (10, 1 BAB, -1 Str, 2 Dex)
Feats: 2(1 class level, 1 human)
? Dodge (Core Rulebook p. 122): +1 dodge bonus to AC.
? Light Armor ProficiencyB (Core Rulebook p. 118): armor check penalty only for Dex/Str skills
Skills: 14 (1(CL)*(2+4(Int)+1(human)))
? Appraise +9 (4 Int, 2 ranks, 3 class skill)
? Craft (not used, class skill)
? Escape Artist +2 (2 Dex, 0 armor check)
? Fly +2 (2 Dex, class skill, 0 armor check)
? Heal +4 (2 Wis, 2 ranks)
? Knowledge (any) (not used, class skill)
? Linguistics +7 (4 Int, 1 rank, 3 class skill)
? Profession (not used, class skill)
? Sense Motive +4 (2 Wis)
? Spellcraft +9 (4 Int, 2 ranks, 3 class skill)
Equipment:
? eyeglasses (Arcane Bond object, head slot)
? dagger (2 gp, Core Rulebook p. 142)
? light crossbow (35 gp, Core Rulebook p. 142)
? 20 crossbow bolts (2 gp, Core Rulebook p. 142)
? leather armor (10 gp, Core Rulebook p. 151)
Special Qualities:
? Arcane bond (eyeglasses): cast 1 unprepared spell per day
? Cantrips
? Arcane school (universalist)
? Scribe scroll
XP: 2200
GP: 60
