Chapter Fifteen

  The lessons in court etiquette were lengthy, but to his great surprise… ‘I’m doing quite well, if I do say so myself.’ Ulbert thought with delight, ‘Maybe it’s the fact that my intelligence stats are high. If my physical stats are the same as my character sheet, why shouldn’t the rest of them be?’ The answer was obvious, they could be.

  ‘And probably are.’ He thought as he folded his arm exactly the way Torald did and imitated the bow.

  “Now, pretend I’m the Queen, m’lord. Normally,” the human said with a chuckle, “You would bend forward when she presents her hand and kiss her ring. But these are not normal circumstances. You’re not going as a supplicant, and I assume you are not a citizen of this country.”

  “No, to all of that.” Ulbert did not suppress his laugh at the suggestion.

  “Right, so then as an honored foreign hero, you will offer your greeting from the half bow position.” Torald explained, cleared his throat, and did his best Ulbert imitation. ‘I am Ulbert Alain Odle of… Hell?’ Or wherever m’lord calls his home.” Torald explained it, and Ulbert mimicked him to the letter.

  ‘I suppose maybe all our time playing evil lords paid off.’ Ulbert thought with delight and cast a moment of gratitude in the direction of Touch Me, who explained the basics of court manners to them after they first claimed Nazarick for their own.

  Torald went on, “You’re being honored, but you have no known title, m’lord, so she may choose to curtsey, or not. But as you are the guest of honor, she will offer you her hand, like this.” He said and then after pretending to curtsey, he moved to stand behind Ulbert and held his hand up at his side near shoulder height where it could clearly be seen, and when Ulbert took it, Torald guided him over to the chairs.

  “If you were her husband, you would sit before her. But as you are not, you will wait until she sits, then as the honored guest, you will sit, followed by the other guests.” Torald then continued to play the role of the Queen, and took the demon through all the rituals and routines from the blessing of the meal by the priest who would cleanse away any chance of poison… followed by the alcohol which would be served after the priest had gone so that he wouldn’t purify it by accident…

  The lessons lasted well after the light on the other side of the door died down, and finally Torald removed his helmet, swept back his long brown hair and said, “Questions, m’lord?”

  “No, actually.” Ulbert answered, and then added, “Thank you.”

  Torald bowed. “It is my honor to assist you, Lord Ulbert.”

  A dozen demonlordish chuuni replies came to mind, but instead, on seeing the dark circles under the human’s eyes and realizing he’d kept the man awake for quite some time he answered only, “Get some rest. I will return after a short walk.”

  “Is that wise, m’lord?” Torald asked, and Ulbert stared blankly.

  “I withdraw the question.” Torald answered, “If there were something in this town that could threaten you, then the beastmen would have been gone long ago.”

  “I’ll return soon.” Ulbert laughed richly and gave a casual wave as he put Torald behind him and left the room.

  Torald however, did not obey Ulbert’s order completely. When the demon departed, he went to the window of the room they would share for the night and looked out the window. It didn’t take long to see the demon in disguise emerge, the moon was bright in the sky and cast the reflected light of the sun down on the world below, together with a cloudless night, the stars too cast their glimmer downward, making it easy for those with well trained eyes to see whatever they wished.

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

  In the late hours of the night, Ulbert felt almost like he was walking through a different town entirely. The smell wasn’t exactly gone, but it was subdued. The smell of fish from the lake wasn’t a bother, and the unwashed bodies were behind closed doors or at least tent flaps.

  It was, in a word, rather tranquil, save for the occasional loud snorer who could be heard through an open window, or the sounds of lovers entwined in the darkness of whatever privacy they managed to make for themselves.

  ‘I’ve restrained myself enough. Time for a little ‘creative’ fun.’ Ulbert mused as he made his way to the center of town. ‘Lucky me, finding that world item when I logged back in.’ He then reached into his pocket dimension and drew out ‘The Brother’s Kit’. This item of Yggdrasil was unique even among the World Items.

  Most of those served some grand magic purpose, or served in combat roles or strategic intent… but this was unique in that it was a ‘creation’ item named for the set of tools used by Odin, Vili, and Ve, in the creation of the first humans, who they carved out of logs. The kit meant for magical construction, and if it had any combat value to a guild, it was that it allowed for the creation of persistent structures within a guild controlled area.

  Ulbert wrapped the belt around his waist and fastened it tight, giving it one good tug to ensure it was secure, ‘Who was it that had this item last?’ He wondered… while all the world items weren’t accounted for, even at the end, this one belonged to a guild fixated on exploration. They were known to build temporary defensive structures for their party to camp in overnight, and avoided conflict with other guilds as much as possible.

  As he tugged on the belt, he turned his thoughts towards them and towards this world. ‘I never understood those guilds that avoided PVP and just explored as much as possible… but they’re making a whole lot more sense right now. With none of my friends around, no guild, no way home and really no desire to go there, I can explore everything this world has to offer… and if the beastmen are any measure of power, then there’s very little danger out here to me at all. But before I go, I can at least have some fun, and see what this does in this world.’ It was a happy thought in his head as he opened the first flap and drew out a hammer and chisel after positioning himself in the center of town.

  The tools prompted him for his parameters, and with but one tap, the space began to change, the ground began to sink, and his vision of creation began to come to fruition.

  He set the hammer and chisel away, then removed the gloves, his hands began to make shapes in the air around him, setting the scale in mind to be larger than himself, and the statue began to take shape. He could feel the flow of water far below as his tools connected him to the world, and little by little, the pipes he would need took immutable form.

  ‘They need lots of water here, this has to serve many or wait… does it? What is the range on this thing?’ Ulbert pondered and began to test the limits of the item, as with most World Items, the degree of effectiveness seemed in part to depend on how powerful its bearer was, and this was no different. ‘If my World Disaster could easily span the city… then…’ He told himself and expanded his field, pipes began to form and more, smaller, public fountains began to arise to mimic the larger one. ‘If Whitebrim were here, he’d probably do a better job…’ Ulbert thought with a faint sense of loss, ‘At least I got to see him one more time…’

  That led to a moment of inspiration, and the little fountains he began to create took on different forms. His own here at the center, began to take his shape, posed with one hand out, holding a ball of stone that served as a stand in for magic power and spun unceasingly on the bubbling flow of water that rose up. He made both hands that way, as if using his twin maximize magic spell, with eight jets of water flowing out of each hand and down into a wide fountain pool formed in a circle like the shape of the table in Nazarick. Each of the other fountains around the town took on the shapes of his memories of one of the Forty-One, and the stone that barred the way to the water contributing to the statues that would forever distribute it.

  Even with magic, the individual shapes took time to perfect, with the motion of his gloved hands serving to smooth one place or knock off a stray chip here or there… until it was done.

  ‘There. A proper representation… and if I’m at the center rather than the guildmaster… well, he’s not here to complain, and he wouldn’t begrudge me that when I’m the mighty hero who saved this country.’ Ulbert thought with delight and began to walk the town, visiting each burbling fountain to relive the very best days of his life, until he’d seen them all and returned again to his room where he found Torald snoring and at rest himself.