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#23: Embracing the Darkness Within

  Crawling across his skin, he could practically feel the darkness weaving its way through his body. The icy touch caused his body to shiver and convulse. There was no going back now. He had to either deal with the darkness as best he could or he could let it consume him.

  Forcing himself to focus not on the darkness, but on what it brought with it. He was pulled into one of the many visions. Looking to his feet, he saw a body. The crimson blood soaked the sand beneath his feet. The sword in his hand being the weapon that had killed the person.

  He forced himself further into the vision, forced himself to see what was truly happening. Outside of the vision, he could feel his body shake from the push. If he couldn’t control it, he wouldn’t survive it.

  The body beneath him was wearing armor. It looked to have been a gladiator. Using all his might, he pulled his head up and looked at his surroundings. There were stands full of people. They all looked at him in horror and judgment. His eyes traced over the crowd, looking to see if there was anyone he recognized.

  The faces that looked back were foreign to him. His gaze was drawn back to the sword in his hand. Turning it over, he noticed the fanciful designs. It wasn’t a cheap sword. Either he had been given it or he bought it with some money he didn’t yet possess. The man on the ground’s armor was cheaper, looked to be of lower quality.

  The blood that soaked into the sand looked the same as anyone’s. Kaden’s own hands had taken the life. The darkness started pushing in. Inching its way out of the grates and doors below the crowd, he screamed at them, trying to warn them as it spread.

  It engulfed person after person, wrapping them up and swallowing them whole. Their voices were silenced before any screams could escape. He could feel their pain and their panic as each shadow swallowed.

  Turning away, he saw the shadow was his own. It was growing and consuming everything and everyone. It spread out, darkening the ground so it was a void of black. He could feel his body twitch.

  If he couldn’t control it, he wouldn’t survive.

  He tried to focus in and pull the darkness back. Slowly, it inched back, sucking back toward him. It let go of each person with a shudder and they continued staring at him, judging him. Each person was unaware of the darkness that just swallowed them.

  Slowly it pulled back, slowly it came back to him. The void opened up, and the sand glittered through the darkness like a dark canopy with stars blinking through. The man below him was still dead. His sword was still the weapon that killed him. The darkness came back and rested inside.

  He felt his body relax, taking deeper breaths.

  What he saw must be what was to come. He had no idea who the man was or where they were, but he was going to kill them and a crowd would be his witness. He accepted the fact that the situation was going to occur. Despite how horrid it was, he only hoped that it would be justified.

  Gasping, his eyes popped open, and he saw Tranley and Eloise hovering over him, hands outstretched, glowing. He tried to reach for them, but the darkness pulled him back under and he was unconscious once again.

  Wind was hitting him in the face as the storm raged around him. Like the storm that he and Zuma had battled, it was rattling around him, but this time, he wasn’t alone. He looked to his left and his right and saw other dragons from other clans swarming around him. He was leading them. Looking down at himself, he noticed he was clad in a full set of heavy armor.

  He was atop an extremely large dragon. Their color was shifting colors, moving from gold to silver to an iridescent rainbow to a warm bronze. It was not a color he was familiar with or even knew was possible. They too were heavily armored. They were headed into battle. Running his hands across the scales, he noticed them. Lightning scars shone in a flash of light. It was Zuma. They had grown, and they had changed.

  He was leading an army of dragons and riders toward something. Ahead of him were even more dragons, only they weren’t any color he was used to their either. They were dark and absorbed the light as it flashed. It was hard to make them out. The darkness was surrounding them, following them.

  A rider was on the back of an enormous dragon in the front, mirroring his movements. When he instructed Zuma to fly to the left, they would, too. He would fly to the right, so would the other dragons. Their darkness grew, reaching out above and below, opening as if to swallow like a giant maw of teeth.

  He wasn’t going to let the shadows, the darkness, swallow any of the dragons that braved the storm with him. Pushing out with his own thoughts, he pushed back against the maw. Willing all his energy, all his might, he fought the darkness with every ounce of power he could muster.

  A glowing light sparked out of him and shot toward the void dragons. Exploding light shot out across the skies, blinding him and everyone else following. Blinking away the blinding white in his vision, he looked back to see nothing but the evening skies. The dragons still flying near him, following him to whatever destination, never seeing a cloud one.

  Gasping for breath, he sat upright. Tranley was the only one still standing over him. Eloise had been curled up in a ball in the corner, startled by his awakening. He felt cold and wet from sweating.

  Tranley bopped him on the head. “You thought too hard.”

  Eloise gave a relieved laugh as Kaden rubbed his head. “I’m sorry. I told you it was a concern.”

  He could see the tears of relief at the edges of her eyes as she said, “I’m so glad you pulled through. We were worried.”

  Looking around, panicked, he yelled for Zuma. He tried to take a step, but his legs collapsed. They were stiff and sore. Pulling them under him, he crawled on his hands and knees to the edge of the loft to see if Zuma was alive.

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  They were nowhere to be seen.

  “Where’s Zuma? What happened to Zuma?!”

  Tranley helped him to his feet and said, “Zuma is okay. They’re with the Matriarch. It was our only option to keep them from freezing. It’s not their matriarch, so the bond wasn’t as strong, but it was strong enough.”

  Not hesitating, he moved to climb down the ladder. He had to see Zuma. Eloise was quickly in front of him, preventing him from climbing down.

  “You are too weak, you cannot be running to see the Matriarch. Zuma is going to be fine, the Matriarch is sharing their power with Zuma to help fight the darkness.”

  “I’m fine. There is no more darkness, but I need to see them.”

  “You are not.” She stood firm. “You’ve been fighting this for almost a week now. You do not have the energy nor the power to even interact with the Matriarch. Not in this state. You will stay put or so help me, I will make you stay put.”

  His shoulders dropped and he felt the weakness grip hold. Sinking to the floor again, all he could do was let out a cry. All the emotions that he had to fight, all the fear he had to hold in to fight the void, it all crashed on him at once.

  He sobbed.

  Tranley offered him a cup of water and gave him pleading eyes to drink it. Coughing from the mucus the sobbing was producing, he tried to take a few deep breaths and get himself under control. He took the cup and let the cold water slide down his throat, coating it with a refreshing but needed respite.

  They left him alone for some time, letting him get himself back together. Eventually, he took a deep breath and stood back up. Swallowing hard, he said, “Thank you.”

  “For what?” asked Tranley.

  He shook his head and said, “I’m sure for helping me fight the darkness.”

  Tranley laughed and said, “nonsense! We only kept your body alive. Your mind was all your own.”

  His eyes widened as he recalled what he saw. “There were shadows, my shadows, other’s shadows. It consumed everything, mirrored my every action. It was a deep, never ending void.”

  “Oh, you got the void. Interesting. Interesting,” Tranley muttered.

  He shook his head and said, “let me guess, that’s rare too.”

  “Yes, very.”

  “This is a reoccurring theme with me, isn’t it?” he laughed.

  “It appears so, yes.”

  He looked to Eloise, and she shrugged, “maybe your wild Matriarch knows something ours doesn’t.”

  The blessing was fresh in his mind. Images flashed of a combined effort from hundreds of dragons, all participating. He didn’t think it was just the Matriarch, although with her size, it could have been.

  They gave him a bit of time to recover. Food and water were the first things he gave attention. It felt as if he was starving, and if he hadn’t eaten all week, he may have been. He washed as best he could with a rag to get the sweat off him before he climbed back into the fancy mage robes Tranley had made for him. Eloise nodded to him and they climbed down the ladder.

  Word must have spread, as there was an audience outside of his home. Several mages were there to see him exit. A cheer rang out the moment he exited. Somehow, him defeating the darkness was something to celebrate.

  Dalphina was standing there with a scowling Lidvus. They bowed to him and started walking toward the Matriarch’s cave. Eloise nudged him and he awkwardly followed. The small crowd stayed behind with Eloise and Tranley.

  He followed the two grandmasters without saying a word, letting them lead him to the Matriarch’s home. Pushing his energy out, he searched for Zuma. A spark popped up in his mind, distant but there. They were there alright.

  As they reached the entrance, Kaden looked above to see how incredibly large the cave entrance was. It was massive in scale yet, not anywhere near as big as the cave he met his own matriarch in. He couldn’t help but compare the two.

  There was a marble walkway into the cave. Kaden could only assume it was there to make the ordeal look better. Once inside, he spotted a similar platform to the one he had stood on to be healed and blessed, deep inside the cave. He didn’t know if it was needed for a blessing, but it showed that the cave must have had mages regularly there at one time. He wondered what happened to it to be lost as it had.

  The Matriarch towered above them. Her size was indeed impressive, but she was nowhere close to the matriarch he had met. His matriarch could have fit this one’s head inside its own mouth with ease. It didn’t mean she was any less intimidating.

  Dalphina and Lidvus stood aside and motioned him to walk up the steps to the platform. Doing as instructed, he bowed before her when he reached the top. Letting out a warm mist, the Matriarch rumbled, causing the hairs on his neck to raise. The mist wrapped around him and made him feel comforted and at ease.

  The effort it had taken to fight the darkness still made him feel weak, but before the Matriarch, he felt energized. Her mere presence made him feel as if he could take on anything and anyone.

  “I don’t know how this works,” he said to her nervously. “I want to deeply thank you for taking care of Zuma. Our connection runs deeply. Unfortunately, that means that they suffer from my own missteps.”

  Lidvus was shaking his head in disapproval at him openly talking to the Matriarch. He didn’t care. He knew the matriarch would know what he was saying, know what he was feeling. It helped him more than anything.

  “I saw the darkness. I saw the void. This power is dangerous and I understand what it can lead me to do. I understand what it can do to others now. I know now that I can’t let that happen. It is not a power to treat without the proper respect. I absolutely cannot let it control me and it can’t control Zuma either.”

  “We’re now partnered in life. I get that. I will do my best to ensure they never have to worry about the darkness again. They are too important to let it creep in through me. You have my promise and my gratitude. I appreciate that you were able to help Zuma when I couldn’t. And believe me, I know that a matriarch won’t always be around when the darkness creeps in. I know that the two of us will have a lot of very hard times ahead. But I promise you this: I will not let Zuma fall with me.”

  The cave was silent. No noise was heard from the Matriarch or the grandmasters. All he could hear was his breathing. In and out. In and out.

  A deep guttural rumble echoed, and a light emanated from the matriarch’s chest. It glowed brightly, causing him to cover his eyes. He could feel the power, the energy coming out of the Matriarch.

  He heard Zuma’s familiar rumble of a laugh as they skidded across the stone and stopped in front of him. Relief washed over him, as he couldn’t help himself. He threw himself at them and gave the biggest hug he could. They leaned back, wrapping their tail and wings as best they could around him in return. They missed him just the same.

  The light faded, and the Matriarch let out another huff of warm mist. He smiled, bowed, and turned back toward the grandmasters, Zuma in tow. Dalphina shook her head and smiled at him, ushering him back out of the cave.

  “You will do well in the Capitol. I have no worries,” she said.

  Lidvus rolled his eyes and said, “if he gives more speeches like that, he won’t be liked.”

  “I thought it was a wonderful speech,” she laughed.

  Kaden smiled and said, “Maybe Tranley can give me some books to study on speech writing before I leave.”

  Laughing at the lighthearted joke, the two masters walked next to him with smiles on their faces.

  They took their time going back to the stables. As they neared, Kaden realized the crowd had dispersed.

  Iratoi stood alone with a paper in her hand. Once they reached her, she handed it to Dalphina. Taking a moment to read over it, she said, “they’re demanding we send him sooner.”

  “How much sooner,” Lidvus grumbled.

  Giving Kaden apologetic eyes, she said, “Tomorrow.”

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