Hurt others and oneself

  Zhen Ming was wandering aimlessly on the streets of Luoyang, occasionally taking out his phone to capture the scenery of Luoyang's streets. In a few days, he would be leaving this sorrowful place.

  Every time he thinks of that iron-hearted woman, he feels like there's a stone stuck in his chest, making it hard for him to breathe. This woman has somehow taken over all his thoughts, yet she completely erased herself from his life with such ruthlessness and indifference, to the point where he doesn't even want to show up in any place that holds memories of her.

  In Luoyang, there have been many more beggars on the streets in recent months. With wars and rebellions breaking out everywhere, it is always the ordinary people who suffer, those with no weapons or land to their name. Refugees from all over are pouring into Luoyang, making the situation here increasingly dire. Outside the Hongyuan Inn, a long line of people waiting for food handouts still forms every day, and Feilong's fellow villagers are there maintaining order. When they see Zhenming approaching, they greet him from afar.

  Zhen Ming reluctantly chatted with them for a few sentences, and several fellow villagers asked about Fei Long's whereabouts. He didn't know how to respond, so he simply said that Fei Long had gone out of town and wouldn't be back for a while.

  Ever since they were separated after being chased by the Salt Gang, Fei Long and Yue Er had lost contact, but Zhen Ming was not too worried. Fei Long had learned many Tai Chi moves from him, and with a little practice, he should be able to handle one or two small thugs without any major problems.

  Seeing the pretty maids by the back door of the Hongyuan Bieyuan, he thought of that lovely and charming little maid Miaoyu again. After the last time when he drove away Peony Fairy, she might not even want to see him anymore? If it weren't for her, he would have probably starved to death on the streets already. He should bid farewell to her out of courtesy, but because of what happened last time, he left a bad impression on her, and even if he came to visit, the other party might not see him.

  He thought of Lin Po and Xiao Que again. Since Zhang Shi's pastry shop opened, Zhang Shi often visited them, bringing them some necessities and giving them some silver coins, so they didn't have to go out begging anymore. Their days should be quite good, but now Zhang Shi even has trouble leaving the Song Mansion, what will their future life be like?

  Zhen Ming thought bitterly, and before he knew it, he had arrived at the small house that he rented to Lin Po and Xiao Que.

  Just as I was about to knock on the door, it creaked open by itself.

  Lin Po's face showed a hint of surprise, and Xiao Que saw him, let out a cheer and ran over to him, hugging his leg tightly and shouting in a crisp voice: "Big brother!"

  Zhenming was bitter but didn't respond, his expression dull and stupid, staring blankly at the familiar yet strange face behind Lin Po's back, which was the very person he couldn't forget no matter how hard he tried, the one he thought about day and night.

  Zhang obviously didn't expect to run into him here either, standing behind Lin Po with a look of surprise on his face, and then a hint of joy and shyness flashed across his eyes.

  She has lost a lot of weight and her face is pale, but she still looks so fair and delicate, as beautiful as jade.

  "Zhen Ge'er, you've arrived! I was just thinking of going to find you. Quick, quick, come in and sit down..." Lin Po warmly invited him.

  Zhen Ming stood still like a stone statue, staring straight at her as if he wanted to carve her image into his mind.

  Zhang was startled by his scorching gaze and looked away, not daring to meet his eyes. She lowered her head and asked softly, "Are you okay?"

  "It's no good." Zhen Ming said bitterly, thinking it over and over again, telling the truth.

  Lin Po saw the two of them in this state, with a knowing smile on her face, pulled Xiao Que away from Zhen Mingshu's legs, making an excuse to go buy vegetables, and quickly dragged the reluctant Xiao Que away, leaving only Zhen Mingshu and Zhang Shi standing motionless at the gate of the courtyard.

  "We have something to say to you." The two of them said in unison.

  "You go first."

  Zhang smiled slightly with a hint of shyness, but still looked so stiff and awkward. Zhen's face remained expressionless without a single smile.

  He said indifferently, "I came here to see Lin Po and Xiao Que Er. Since they're fine, I can rest assured. In a few days, I'll be leaving anyway, so it's convenient that I ran into you, and I might as well tell you too."

  Zhang's body trembled slightly as he heard this, and asked: "Where are you going?"

  "Go home."

  Zhang's face, which was originally still flushed with a faint blush, suddenly turned white. She lifted her head, and her eyes were misty as she looked at him pitifully: "Is it because of me?"

  Zhen Ming suddenly felt a surge of emotion, just like when she had hurt him with those clumsy words. A despicable feeling drove him to nod his head without hesitation: "En."

  Sure, here is the translation:

  As expected, Zhang's tears flowed down instantly.

  The woman burst into tears so suddenly that it left him at a loss, if it were in the past, he might have tried every means to make her laugh by acting like a fool without any self-respect, but now he didn't have the mood for it.

  The more he wanted to get close to this woman, the more he pretended to be indifferent: "There are your shadows everywhere, and every time I think of you, my heart feels like it's being cut by a knife. I only regret that you saved me from the water back then, why didn't you let me drown instead? I also hate myself for meeting a woman like you. If I had known you would be so ruthless, I wouldn't have let myself fall so deeply in love with you. Because of your one sentence, I cried by the river for three days. I don't know what reason I have to stay here anymore, maybe leaving is the only way for me to feel better."

  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Zhang bowed his head and apologized continuously, tears falling to the ground with a pattering sound.

  Zhen Ming's heart ached again, he wanted to slap himself several times, then kneel in front of her and apologize, begging for her love. He couldn't understand himself either, having already decided to leave, why did he still want to hurt her so much before leaving? Knowing she was also helpless, he still had to harm her so despicably, the harsh words came out without thinking.

  He only now realizes that he is actually such a petty person, especially to the one he loves, being so petty that he even remembers every word she says and calculates everything.

  "What do you want to tell me?" he asked.

  Zhang shook his head and stopped talking.

  "So long, I hope in the next life we won't meet again." He successfully suppressed his urge to kneel down and beg for her love, turned around and left, his back figure effortlessly elegant.

  ……

  Three days have passed since then.

  Today is the day of departure, everything has been arranged properly, and those who should have said goodbye have already done so. Those who didn't want to say goodbye, Zhenming had been secretly hiding from them. He deliberately found an excuse to send Xing'er and Huan'er away, then left a letter behind, took the time-space shuttle experiment device that he had been working on for dozens of days, rented a horse carriage, and rushed to the dock outside Luoyang City...