How I’m doing, Ojou-sama? Giving up on playing pretend?

  Shut up.

  That’s on me, remember?

  If it was, I would’ve kept quiet for the last decade.

  But it is and I know it, don’t I?

  Shut up. I still have a job to do...

  No, I don't. I’m not fit to be a hero… Or anything important for that matter. This is not my role.

  That’s wrong! I did all this, didn’t I? I’m winning this war for them…

  Best case, I managed a draw and nothing more… Like always.

  Shut up.

  If I want to shut down, I already know how to do it, don’t I? Forever too.

  It won’t work. It never does.

  Maybe the seventh time will be the charm, no? Like a cat. Using that sword fully will ensure so.

  I don’t want to…

  Why not? It’s on my bucket list, isn’t it? ‘To get a remarkable death’.

  It’s still…

  A joke? The only joke there was writing the list.

  I’m not… I’m a duchess. I’m a hero. I’m…

  I'm not and others have said so already.

  The people here believe in me, so...

  Do I think some randos in a medieval fever dream would know more than my relatives?

  They know me more.

  Do they? Or do they know this funny mask with a fake name?

  That's not…

  Heh! I don’t even show them my true self and say they believe me. Maybe I’m using too many drugs…

  That’s not true. They’re fine. They’re not like…

  They’re like everyone else and I’m still a tool here. That IS the truth.

  I'm not…

  Know what? I’ll be tagging in now. Either I die here or kill someone again. Not much difference…

  *****

  My head was way too fuzzy, but that was the right way.

  Another day, another dangerous situation that could kill me. That's all.

  It was like the day I fought the local bullies just because I thought they were crazy enough. Or when some thugs tried lame pick-up lines on me and I noticed one of them had a knife. Or when the father of that little criminal decided to try and get an easy mark on the useless kid of some gazillionaires.

  Just another kill-or-die situation I wasn’t planning on surviving.

  The only troublesome part here was the fact I wasn’t doing well. The wounds, the tiredness, the drawback of the potions, and the stress, all summed to make my head wander away. I wouldn’t be able to stay up for more than a few minutes, and all because that pompous brat wasn’t taking it seriously.

  If I had given up on the rules and survival, I could’ve defeated this guy with martial arts alone. Using weapons I don’t know when I have average training in most hand-to-hand techniques is such a stupid move.

  Way too many annoying memories coming to me from the dark places my overly-pompous mask didn’t want to look at too… Worthless scenes of wasting time training things I could never be good at or waiting for attention I would never get. All coupled with the first time I had too much and caused a huge incident, and then the other five times I tried and failed at doing the same.

  Every single one marked by their own scars.

  It was way too annoying and something that was only worth more fuel to my burning wish of being done with it. So, after I managed to concentrate enough to move, I sighed at the annoying nobody still monologuing there. He was at it even while I was getting up and burning the mana I didn’t have to heal whatever wounds I could.

  Made me notice these clothes were a pain, so I went on solving this problem next. Removing the cape and coat while tearing some of the tattered parts of the robe and skirt, and then knotting my hair. Only the basics and as fast as I could.

  The slash on my chest would need to stay there and I was almost in underwear by how damaged my clothes got, but I only needed a little bit of time, so whatever. This much was more effective.

  “Sigh… Can you shut up? No, you can’t, right? You… You can’t. You see, you’re... losing time? Hell… If you won’t finish me…” I mumbled somewhat coherently while forcing my battered body into the nonsensical stance I was more used to. “Then you'll die with me, you know?”

  I was pushing to the point I couldn’t even guess how or what exactly I was saying, but that didn’t matter. Something abnormal was happening, and it wasn’t as if I could care. All I needed was enough time to get this guy down and then be remembered as someone who bested two countries. A perfect meaningful death as I should’ve gone for from the beginning.

  Relying on a weird power-up for it wouldn't be a problem.

  So, I ignored whatever taunt my unwilling suicide assistant was spouting as he moved forward and got ready to fight. My whole focus was on his dark blade right now, so I couldn’t bother with hearing or speaking. It was the final level of the tunnel vision I had such a tendency to have.

  As someone once told me, it was something as dangerous as it was stupid to use. In no sport or game, focusing on a single detail or action would do more than make you lose by a hit you didn’t see.

  It worked well for a limited time if the person on the other side of the field was underestimating you, though.

  Not that I would be able to do so without using some 'doping'. A full swap of my saber’s usage so, instead of allowing someone to be better at magic, it cut off all magic and strengthened the body. Basically, a very heavy-handed pain suppressor with other side-effects that burned mana at an absurd rate.

  A few seconds would be the most I’d get, and then I’d likely die from mana overusage.

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  So, I hurried to the last, and smallest, vial I still had. All almost at the same time that my enemy decided to attack. Then, as the absurdly fast slash went downright after the person wielding the sword almost teleported to me as usual, I only dodged enough to not take a fatal wound.

  Just enough to surprise the dumbass and allow a counter. A simple straight into his shoulder wound and then a second one the moment he pulled the blade in pain. The armored swordsman recovered fast and kicked me with all his might. A strong hit that made me stumble and then roll away, but a blunt one.

  Getting kicked wasn’t fun, of course, but it was damage I could take, so it didn't take more than a moment to be up again. The next hits I had to dodge.

  A combination of slashes and thrusts that were too fast for me, but as someone who had observed them enough, I managed to avoid the blade every single time. And even though I was under an onslaught of attack right after, it was as planned.

  I was ‘dancing’ through the attacks, bumping my battered body around and leaving the right openings to avoid that blade while adding small illusions from time to time. Perfect moves that were frustrating my foe as he was clearly ragdolling me, and still, I always got up. No real damage, even as he kept kicking and punching me.

  He was beyond breaking point, and it showed.

  A somewhat sloppy upward slash came and was then followed by a hurried downward one that I predicted enough to punch away, breaking his posture at the cost of getting kicked again. A kick that moved me away and forced him to rush closer once more, causing more frustration, especially when I connected more punches.

  But right next, my body started to finally fail me.

  Another full swing came to me after a charge, but my movements got stuck and the attack passed too close. Close enough that, instead of any counter with his body, the dark armored guy managed to hit me with the pommel of the sword. A hit that made me bend forward and start to fall, getting hit by a knee on the way down, which I used to fix my footing as an emergency effort.

  It was enough, but barely.

  So, with my footing recovered and my body lowered, I got the perfect opportunity to counter. Or to be more specific, I got the perfect opportunity to jab my foe's lower parts with my all, before repeating the target with my knee.

  My hand was hurting right after the hit, plate armor and all, but I was strong enough to cause damage and I could see it. Getting some use of the stupid mutation I half-inhered from my father. Something as annoying as having too big of a muscular mass had some advantages at times.

  I could feel some weird resistance there, though. Something I only noticed after a better look, was caused by what seemed to be a small air barrier. Probably the same spell he and his soldiers used to reach us back at those fields and to move so fast. But the mana wasn’t coming solely from his body, a good deal of it was from his weapons.

  Very odd, but irrelevant.

  Either way, with the huge opening caused by the groin damage, I staggered myself up and crashed my little bottle on his face with a punch. The strong poison meant for the whole of the water supply from this place, in one person’s face. Next, I followed it with a hook on his wounded shoulder, still carrying a lot of the green liquid and leaving it over the open wound. And next, I went for another one. And a third to good measure.

  They were all hits that made my enemy wince and I could see in his eyes the surprise of getting damaged by someone bleeding out. Unluckily, even if I couldn’t feel much under the effects of my spell, my body was on the limit, so, as I failed to move, a counter came my way and I was pushed away before my enemy disengaged.

  The result was that we had some distance between us, but only the black knight could still move. In fact, it was very possible that my next move would be the last. I lacked the energy to do anything more.

  But instead of attacking, he just stood there, almost immobile.

  A weak panting and a wince as he looked to his shoulder, but no attacks for a moment. The fact that I was fighting unarmed added to the pain that seemed to have finally taken him to the limit.

  Very reasonable if you ask me, but he shouldn’t freeze like this.

  If you have a weapon and your enemy doesn’t, you should take advantage and start attacking, you know? I’m quite sure that would be your best chance at getting me down in time to survive this. Not seeing this much meant I was overestimating this guy. It would be hard timing if he attacked right away, but it was different if he gave me time.

  Guess you'll die as the useless fodder you are then.

  So, as he lost time trying to understand the situation, the sword on my hip was already shining again, turning away from the earlier change. My foe noticed such, of course, and mumbled something before charging, but I couldn’t hear him by now and it was too late anyway. In fact, when he reached me at the same absurd speed as before, all I had to do was use a literal sacrificial limb.

  A perfect block with my arm that bought me enough time for me to send a burst with all my remaining mana. An attack that almost made me faint, but also sent the black knight to the ground right away. And right in front of my expressionless self.

  And now was my time to show off some kicks, or some stomps, actually.

  First, one to the shoulder before he could react. Then one on the head to add some stun. And a third somewhere else as my vision started to wander away. And a fourth one as I started to feel my body again. And a fifth as the blood coming down my nose and up my mouth started to clog my breath. And a sixth before I finally started to fall backward.

  All was silent after that.

  Most of my artifacts were forced to the brink, broken, or useless right now. My limbs weren’t in condition to move and my head wasn’t any better. There was way too much blood around, and that was without the cursed wound on my chest. By now, I was only waiting for my body to notice it shouldn’t be working anymore.

  There were still noises in the rooms around this one corridor, of course, but my barely holding-out head wasn't in condition to hear them. I also still had a sword stuck to my arm and some curse spreading from it. The most I could do was drag my own body to the nearest wall and wait as, even after doing my best, I could see the armor twitching and getting up.

  “I’ll admit… you’re better than I thought, girl.” He mumbled even if I could bother to care, going further. “Ugh… Giving up on your life… just to get a win… Few can do it, even if you failed.”

  “I did long ago…” I forced myself to answer while supporting my body on the wall. “Both things…”

  My answer wasn’t very deep or very sensical, but it seemed to make sense to the other manic in the area. Illia would like to explain further and go into length about her view of the world, but I couldn’t be bothered. Not very useful and too tiresome…

  More so, it wasn’t as if it would be fun to entertain someone who couldn’t shut up for a damn. Even while he was collecting vials from the back of his belt and downing them as if they were nothing, he was still talking.

  “Heh. I guess I’m not… cof cof...” He coughed after drinking what I could only guess were regeneration potions, though probably not enough of them to cancel that poison. “I’m not taking you on a walk of shame… but I’ll be taking your head to a stand.”

  He was wobbly and there was blood seeping through his armor, but he could move while I couldn’t. The potions seemed to be making some effect too, even if at the limit before an overdose. Just enough to survive the poison until I was dead, I think.

  Which wasn’t a problem at all.

  Eve was far enough to survive even if he could move on and I could hear fighting noises very close by already, so it was perfect. As is, all my goals were achieved just like a good deal of my bucket list. A very productive day, I’d say, even if it would end with a charging swordsman I couldn’t block. And so, I closed my eyes and smiled while waiting for my long-postponed end…

  Which didn’t come again.

  Instead, I felt a huge shock with a booming sound as a wall blew up by our side with a maid swinging a big axe barreling on the Black Knight.

  “Your Highness!” Eve rushed through the rubble, getting to her liege’s side while Dori was occupied pushing Willian back. The guy in black armor was looking very bad, but even then, he seemed to be holding the brunette maid at bay. I could even see her panicking a little at the immortal fighter slowly adapting to her blows.

  “Can we speed up a little?” Dori asked after throwing the mercenary through the hole in the and retreating a little as the guy recovered. “We’ll be in trouble soon.”

  “Your Highness is stable enough already, Dorothea. I just have to check on Lady Illia…” Eve came closer to us while carrying Elen on her back, but her words were stopped by an explosion in the end of the corridor. One caused by a group of those ominous guards rushing through the door and breaking everything in their path

  “We have to move now, boss!”

  “You will have to forgive me then, milady, but I’ll need to move you without treatment.” Eve changed her tone, but I raised my hand to stop her and then painfully pulled the waystone trinket from my neck. “We don’t know how to use this…”

  I then shook my head and pointed to the small bag by her side, and to the mana potion inside it. Something she understood fast enough, with an extra understanding when she tried to complain and I just waved my head again.

  “Boss!” Dori asked in a hurry again while using her axe as a bat to throw pieces of rubble at the approaching enemies, in particular, at the Black Knight slowly stepping close.

  “That’s… Understood.” Eve bit her lips and then moved to get the potion to me, but her hand was slapped away by the same person she was carrying on her back before she could feed it to me, ending with the flask broken. "Your Highness?!"

  "Give me that thing." She forced out with her eyes on the little waystone, turning to me right after. "And you… You’re not allowed to die, Illia, or I'll kill you."

  It was a weird phrase, but for once, I somehow felt she could do it. Maybe it was only the bleeding out as I fainted, though…