Entry 18

  Paranoia is not my friend. Blackhorse explained himself, had no problem with having to explain. In fact I had to ask him several times to stop talking once he got going on the theoretical shit. I just couldn’t take it any more. Ancient elven magic this, and rituals lost to history that. He was more than disappointed that I didn’t get him a giant zombie. He cheered up after I told him that I had “dealt” with the competition. He didn’t ask for details and I doubt the delicate mage could handle knowing when I did to those bastards. Still not sure who they were working for but he seemed to know, made a scowling face and stayed silent for a while. Didn’t tell me though, instead he said that we’re all paid up in regards to the magic item. He even asked if I wanted another magic item or some money for this last trip. Seems the information that he has competition is more important than the zombie. Since I really didn’t like having magic hold my body like that I asked for something that could help with that. I also sold him those magic darts. Keeping the poison for myself might come in handy one day.

  I'm staying at his place as a guest and can use his carriage to go into town whenever I wish. Told him my full name is Zagnash. We have been spending the evenings drinking his wine. Good stuff too. I told him my family was from Usten, but I was born up north near the fang mountains. He finally told me that he suspects his competition is a past student of his. They parted in a rather ugly way, but he has no actual proof of it’s him.

  Been reading books from his study, found out that there have been other undead similar to me. Most were hunted down and killed but there was one story about an undead named Shey Okta, a monk. He lived, no she resided in a place where monks live. A temple maybe. The book just said the sun mountain. I have no clue where that is, it was so long ago that the mountain has probably been renamed. What good would it do knowing what kind of undead I am anyway? Maybe I'm not undead, I'm able to have sex and I am able to enjoy it, I'm not rotting, if I eat and drink I need to piss and shit. Sure I don’t feel pain the same way, the dead ignore me, my heart does not beat. I don’t need to sleep or breathe. Well I can’t sleep, I've tried so many times but my mind just won’t shut off. There was something about meditation in the book that talked about Shey Okta.

  I started to meditate. It’s weird at first. A month later I started to revisit memories in amazing detail. It would take all of my concentration, something as simple as a hearing a door shut would kick me out of it. Oh yeah, I’m staying at an inn now, Syrus had to leave his home two weeks ago for some kind of ball he was invited to. He asked me to be his bodyguard. I refused after hearing that some high up of the silver shield was gonna be there. I’m not scared of them, I just don’t want to be discovered. I do meditation during the night and train during the day. Not gonna let myself get jumped again.

  I’ve noticed a man has been watching me train for the last few days. Had to start taking breaks. To appear normal. Gonna ask him what he wants tomorrow if he’s still skulking around.

  I have a sparring partner now. Well, no. I have a student, his name is Kel and he wants to be an adventurer but has no idea how to fight. Young man, 17 years old with a strand of white hair in his otherwise perfect head of wavy auburn hair. His balance is the first thing I need to improve. I haven’t trained anyone since The Five. A grueling training that turned simple soldiers into expert spies and assassins. I'm enjoying training Kel. I don't feel so lost at what to do when I’m with him. Now that Syrus is gone for fuck knows how long and that I’m no longer in debt. I have no idea what I should do.

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  My nightly meditation keeps bringing me back to when I used to lead The Five. Time after time we would cripple enemy armies by disrupting their chain of command. The battles were short but there were many of them. I’ve always loved how misleading the name was. The Five consisted of thirteen teams of four to seven members, each one I personally trained for the spymaster. The reason it was called The Five was a stroke of the spymaster's genius even if some enemy spy was to get some information on the training, I’m just training groups of five to become elite guards. Even though I always trained six at a time.

  The time flew by last night, this meditation thing is really something. Kel didn't show up today. I waited all day in the grassfield outside the city. I didn’t mind, today was a very nice day and I spent it reading under a tree. I may have stolen a few books from Syrus. Anyway I’m going to a brothel, well I’m going looking for one.

  Entry 19

  I slipped her shoulder out of her blouse and began kissing her neck. She let out an adorable surprised squeal as my cold lips connected with her skin. I moved down towards her collar bone. I gently undid her buttons as my lips neared her breasts. With a quick step and fast movement I pulled her blouse up and off. I held her arms above her head and used her blouse to tie her to the bedpost. She giggled. Telling me that she likes this game. My lips returned to her collar bone, where I finally started moving to her firm breasts. Ran my cold tongue around her nipple while gently squeezing the other one. Her body arched towards me as I gave her a sharper squeeze. Then I gently bit at her nipples allowing them to escape as I leaned away. She made noises of approval, she wanted me to continue, so I moved down. Removed her skirt and ran my nails up her thigh, her body reacted by being covered in goosebumps. Spreading her legs I leaned forward and licked at her perfectly shaved pussy. She began to moan and twitch as my tongue danced inside her. She tried locking my head with her legs. Finally a reason to be glad I don’t need to breathe. I let her legs do as they will. I ran my tongue on and around her little pearl, listening to her moan, loud and without pause now. When “Ohh yes” became the only words she knew how to say, I backed off of her. Forced her legs apart, freeing my head. I stripped so fast I tore my shirt, but at that time I hadn't noticed. Turned her around, aimed myself and without hesitation I pushed myself all the way inside her. She let out a scream, I have been so gentle since we started. Now the real fun started, I pulled out almost all of my cock and then rammed myself back into her. She was hot and wet inside and she felt amazing. I was throbbing with each thrust. I pounded her like that for a bit then I paused all the way inside. Her insides squeezed around me like a snake. When I started to back up, I went slow and gentle, gradually increasing speed. Using her moaning as a guide of when to go faster. She began to ask me to go faster. I didn’t, I slowed down. Teetering her on the edge of unobtainable pleasure for a while. She even cursed my name. Later she was begging me to move faster. Finally I thrusted hard inside her, I wasn't going to last much longer myself. Feeling her clamp around me the slick wet pounding sound made my cock twitch. I pounded inside her over and over. No more gentle movements, just a primal motion towards feeding my need to explode.