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Chapter 13: Identity

  "...There's no name for the village?"

  As they exited the blacksmith's house and walked down the stairs, Kazen was exposed to an unexpected fact. Lyla nodded as she climbed down, without turning her head.

  "Yeah. According to the locals, it seems like it's because having a name would end up introducing the concept of 'territories', and they seem to think that it'll just cause wars over territory."

  Kazen was surprised that she knew more about the Liuthian Grasslands than him. Still, it wasn't unexpected since he learnt he'd already been unconscious for 5 days, and he had never really been exposed to the Liuthian Grasslands to begin with. He had learnt that Lyla had been out exploring and helping people out these past few days, which explained how she was able to lead him through the village and knew this information.

  "Still...I don't think I'll be able to understand it much. Territories are what give people a sense of belonging, aren't they? Then what would their identity be? It couldn't be that they simply see themselves as 'Liuthians' collectively?"

  Lyla shrugged, "Probably. It's not that hard to understand. The way they do differentiate the different villages are by the letters of their harbours. Since we're the 5th village from the start of the Azleth River as it heads downstream, people just like to refer to this place as 'Village E'.

  In the short duration they'd spoken, they'd turned around the corner of the building, and started walking down the street, where they could see the smithy at the far end, about 300 meters away.

  Kazen fell deep into thought about this as he continued walking.

  They soon reached the entrance of the blacksmith's shop as they entered through it, causing the familiar chime of the bell to ring once more.

  "Julius, lad! You're finally done lazing around then?"

  The blacksmith was already at the counter, as he sat on a chair while sharpening a blade that was an arm's length with a whetstone.

  Kazen's hands froze for a moment, but he then eased himself and bowed, "I just want to say, thank you for letting us stay at your place these past few days. It would've been a real problem otherwise."

  Hearing this the blacksmith scoffed, "Bah! With those earth cores of yours, you'd have been able to find a place to stay regardless! But well..."

  "I suppose I did do you a favour, didn't I?"

  The blacksmith grinned, as Kazen started to have an ominous feeling, and the blacksmith continued.

  "Well...I'll even do you another favor! You know the longsword you'd wanted to buy? I'll sell it to you for just 30 silver, and even throw in a sheathe for another 5! And for the lass...well, she's helped me with some requests of mine, so I'll even throw in a weapon for her for free!"

  Kazen's suspicions had reached its peak. There was no way a blacksmith he'd just met 5 days ago would be so generous to him without any reason. And his reasoning proved to be correct.

  "And so...could you do a little favor for me?"

  And here it is.

  Still, Kazen didn't mind it. The blacksmith hadn't really treated them badly so far, and Kazen would even go to say they'd been treated far too well for people who had appeared out of nowhere. Kazen was sincerely grateful, and his response showed his gratitude as well, "...You've helped us so much. If it is something within our means, we'll certainly help you out."

  "To be exact, he's helped you more, since you were...you know, sleeping for the past few days."

  Ignoring Lyla, Kazen focused on the blacksmith, to see what his request would be.

  “My request isn’t that hard to accomplish…”

  And the blacksmith stood up and placed away his whetstone, only to flip the longsword he was holding, before sheathing it.

  “When you become famous in the future, come back here, and let me craft you a wonderful weapon.”

  He then held out the sheathe towards Kazen, prompting him to grab it.

  “And when you do use it, let the world know that it was I, Gareth, that personally crafted it for you.”

  Kazen, however, was stunned. His mouth was slightly open, as he seemed confused. “…And why do you seem to think I’ll even become famous?”

  His enchantment had failed, and he’d been unconscious for the past few days. What part of those actions had possibly impressed this blacksmith?

  “Bah! You really think I’m that na?ve? How many enchanters have you seen before that are in their early twenties, other than those from nobility? And you even managed to enchant a self-repairing feature for the weapon! There’s no doubt you’re going to be famous one day.”

  “And perhaps…you might even become the next S-Ranked Enchanter who isn’t from nobility, like Kazen from Galina!”

  Hearing that he might one day become himself brought a strange feeling to Kazen’s heart, but he didn’t hate it. This was the first time he heard his name since returning to Alethea, and it brought him a strange feeling of familiarity.

  Kazen smiled, while Lyla burst out laughing.

  “…I’ll be sure to make your name to resound throughout the world. Just wait for it.”

  And with those words, Kazen grabbed the sheathed sword, and finally got his first weapon after his return from the Forsaken Continent.

  * * *

  “So…when will you become like Kazen of Galina, Kazen?”

  “Shut up.”

  All they had left to do was to head to the harbor, but before they could do so, Lyla said she wanted to go somewhere for a short moment before they departed.

  And as they went through the streets, Kazen followed behind her, trying to guess where she was heading.

  They soon reached an area near the northern gate, where there was a merchant selling thinly sliced strips of fish meat that let off a tantalizing smell along the side of the street.

  As they walked up to him, Kazen noticed that it was the same merchant that they’d asked for directions to the smithy from when they first entered the village. It seemed that the merchant had noticed them too, and was about to enthusiastically greet them before he finally realized who his approaching customers were.

  “Ah…it’s both of you again. Did you get lost again? Where do you need to go this time?”

  Seeing that the merchant was offering to help them, Lyla smiled with an enthusiastic grin as she held out two fingers.

  “…Two?”

  Seeing the merchant’s confusion, Lyla laughed as she triumphantly said, “We’re here to buy two fish rolls!”

  * * *

  “Why’d we go all the way back to the other end of town just to buy a snack?”

  Kazen muttered, while seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was also holding a roll of bread stuffed with fried fish, herbs, and a red dressing while munching on it.

  “Well…when we came here…we couldn’t afford it, right?”

  As Lyla took little breaks to chew into her food as they walked, she said a statement that confused Kazen, who replied her, “…Yeah, and what about it?”

  “And now we could afford it! That means that we’ve at least accomplished something in the first phase of our journey, doesn’t it? It makes me feel like we’re actually progressing!”

  Kazen was amused by the fact that she didn’t even consider them gaining quite a bit of money and weapons as progress, but before he could dwell on it they finally turned into an alley, giving view to the harbor which had several piers lined up closed to one another.

  There were some ships which were fully loaded with cargo, which were being unloaded by several bulky men carrying boxes together or bags on their shoulders. There were several other ships where people who had travelled from upstream were disembarking, perhaps to rest or resupply.

  “5 slots left for those travelling downstream to Haslom! It’ll be 20 silver per person, does anybody want to take up the offer?”

  And they finally found what they were looking for.

  The duo walked up to one of the piers on the right, where there was a middle-aged brown-haired man with a scar on his left eye shouting, with his hands cusped around his mouth.

  Seeing Kazen and Lyla approach, he flashed a smile, “Are both of you heading to Haslom? Like I’d mentioned, it’ll be 20 silvers per person. We’ll get you both there in just 6 hours, there won’t be any stops along the way!”

  Kazen tilted his head, “But we heard from the guards on the northern gate that the price was 15 silver, why’re you charging another 5 extra silvers?”

  “Well…because we know people will certainly snatch those seats up regardless. Do you have any idea how many people are trying to head to Haslom these days?”

  Lyla remained silent as Kazen pondered. He didn’t like feeling exploited, but in the end, he simply shrugged as he took out a separate bag he had prepared earlier, and threw in another 10 silver that he got from his main pouch.

  He handed it to the man, who smiled as he accepted the cash, “Pleasure doing business with you. The meals and drinks will be provided, so feel free to eat from what’s available on board! You can enter right behind me here,” the man said, as he moved to the side.

  “And oh, your door number will be 24. Here’s your keys, please enjoy!”

  The brown-haired man dropped two keys onto Kazen’s hand, and winked at Kazen with a knowing smile. He then proceeded to continue shouting for more customers.

  Kazen’s face slightly reddened, as he quickly boarded the ship as Lyla followed behind him, as she looked like she was focused on something else.

  As they rose up the gangplank, they caught sight of many different people on the deck of the ship.

  There were some who were sitting down on the floor, drinking in broad daylight, while there were some who looked nervous as they pranced about.

  Lyla’s expression slowly turned somewhat solemn as she boarded the ship, and Kazen also noticed the atmosphere.

  They’re beginners. Like I was…or still am.

  Kazen could remember his attitude before his first battle against demonic wolves. Although he already had a strong physique comparable to C-Ranked Hunters and higher mana reserves than ordinary S-Ranked Hunters, he was still fidgety against the prospect of fighting against something that wanted to kill you.

  And he saw that same anxiety in these people on board.

  It does make sense…after all, we’re heading to Haslom. It’s a beginner’s training ground. These people probably haven’t faced battles before.

  Both Lyla and Kazen walked to the deck of the ship, leaning on the railing, and glancing at the port as people bustled around.

  Lyla’s tense face started loosening little by little as she continued observing the hustle outside the ship. At a certain point, she slapped her cheeks together, as her expression turned cheerful again. Eventually, 5 others joined on board as the ship finally set sail.

  “Woah! Look at that, we’re sailing!”

  As the ship left, Lyla’s sapphire eyes shined as she happily pranced around at the ship’s movement in the wide river. She looked in front, then looked to the west where the forest was on the other side, and repeated the process a few times in excitement.

  However, Kazen couldn’t understand it very well.

  “…And what about it?”

  Lyla was confused only for a moment before she came to a realization.

  “…Ah, tell me this. Do you know why we specifically have Pioneers, who are meant to explore outside the Forsaken Lands? After all, we could just take ships like we do here and sail out right?”

  “…Yes?”

  And Lyla shook her head, “No! If anybody could just sail outside, what would be the point of specifically having a role meant for exploring the Outer Lands?”

  And that was when she dropped a bomb on Kazen.

  “Other than the Lightseal of the north, near the coasts of the Forsaken Continent in all other directions…”

  And Kazen’s eyes widened.

  “The world is blocked off by walls of storm, barring entrance by ship to all who try to venture into its waters.”

  * * *

  Kazen walked through the cabin of the ship, passing opportunistic merchants who’d even set up little shops along the cabin pathway, selling all sorts of goods. He soon finally reached room 24, which he unlocked and entered. Since Lyla had the other key, he didn’t have to worry about her being locked out somehow.

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  It was only an hour into the journey, but Kazen already had a lot on his mind. He placed his sword near the entrance of the room, then walked up to the bed which could fit at least 2 people as he plopped himself onto it and lay face up.

  The morning sky’s rays of light shined through the window on his top left as it illuminated his face, but his mind was filled with nothing but dark clouds.

  “The only way for people to travel outside is through submarines. We’re only able to pass through the stormwalls from the depths of the sea.”

  Lyla’s words rang in his mind, as his thoughts of his other body resurfaced in his mind. The thoughts that had been accumulating in his mind over the past few days slowly released itself in a flood.

  The memories of his other body as a youth, his memory of his body in the Forsaken Continent from a few days ago, his memory as the green-haired man in the midst of a battlefield, his memory as Kazen…and the memories of his new current life in Alethea.

  Although he’d been diverting his attention away, saying he would think about it later…it had always been at the back of his mind.

  He tried to stay positive, but in truth, he was afraid. He felt like he didn’t know who he was anymore, and whether any of what he was experiencing now was even real.

  I might…just end up waking up again. Only to realize none of this was real. That none of this mattered.

  And in the darkness of his thoughts, Kazen curled himself up as he lay on his bed.

  * * *

  Where is he anyway?

  As she chatted with people onboard the ship, she soon realized that Kazen, at some point, had already disappeared.

  She became thoughtful, as she suddenly got a feeling that she should go and look for him.

  She could tell that although Kazen never tried to show it, there was always something on his mind. Something that chipped away at him.

  She opened the trapdoor in the center of the deck, as she took the ladder down to the cabin. The instant she did so, a symphony of tantalizing aromas assaulted her senses. On the right, there were a line of trays holding various kinds of foods in the form of a buffet, where the people on board were taking food from.

  On the left, there were several merchants who had set up their own counters in this limited space, selling various wares, ranging from weapons to random trinkets.

  He’s not here either.

  Lyla glanced at the sign above that read ‘Rooms 01-30’, and followed its path. After turning right at one of the rooms and walking a short distance, she finally came to stand outside the room that said ‘Room 24’.

  And her spirit dampened. Lyla sighed inwardly.

  If only I didn’t have this Authority…

  Sometimes, she resented the fact that she had gained the Authority of Falsehood, although it was an immensely useful political tool. Aside from being able to detect lies…she realized she could be easily affected by the mood of others.

  And now…standing outside the room, her spirit felt a surge of confusion, as her heart became slightly chaotic. She grasped her hands onto the handle of the door, as she firmed her determination. And she opened it.

  In the room, she saw Kazen laying on the bed face up, as his mind seemed to be occupied.

  Lyla coughed, and Kazen finally turned his head to realize Lyla was there. He immediately sat up, and flashed a grin, “Finally got bored of the sailing ship?”

  “Well, it’s not like I’ve seen the cabin of ships before either. Just felt like taking a look here too, you know?”

  And she walked forward, slowly approaching Kazen. As she did, the unrest in her heart grew ever so slightly stronger. She reminded herself once again to separate the emotions of others from her own, as she finally reached the bed that Kazen was sitting on.

  Lyla took a seat right beside Kazen, who was looking at her questioningly.

  A short silence passed, as she tried to think of the possible reasons he could be feeling restless.

  Although she could mirror the emotions of others, it was her who would need to figure out the reason behind those emotions using logic.

  And she spoke, “…You’re taking this surprisingly well.”

  “Taking what surprisingly well?”

  “The whole experience you’ve gone through. You know, living all your life here, suddenly waking up in a brand new place, only to come back here. All while realizing you only have a limited amount of time before you return to the Forsaken Continent.”

  She slightly winced internally as she spoke those words, as it felt like she was rubbing salt on his wounds…but she realized she could only potentially help him if she had more information.

  “Well…I just try not to think about it. After all, when I woke up in the Forsaken Continent, I never expected that I’d be able to return here. So…I’m grateful to even be back here, to be honest.”

  So it’s not that…

  And Lyla continued while observing Kazen, “..But I never realized how famous you really were before we met that blacksmith, Garoth, was it?”

  “Gareth.”

  “Yeah, him. Isn’t Galina all the way to the north-east? And people have even heard about you all the way here in the south-west?”

  Kazen slightly smiled, “Well…I was an excellent Enchanter. There’d be A-Ranked Hunters at minimum every day at my doorstep, asking for enchantment requests after all.”

  “Well…you did impress Gareth with your enchantment earlier, so who knows? Perhaps you could rise back to the same heights that you previously did! But still…it’ll only be under a different name. Probably Julius.”

  “…”

  So it has something to do with his identity…

  “And we really have to do something about this, you know? We can’t be constantly calling you Kazen when we’re together, and Julius while introducing you to others. Wouldn’t it be easier if you started getting used to being called Julius?”

  Lyla could feel her emotions, or Kazen’s emotions getting even more restless, although he wasn’t showing it on his face. And Lyla continued.

  “After all, aren’t you actually Julius to begin w-“

  “I’m not.”

  Kazen’s voice sounded shaky as he responded, contrary to his external appearance.

  Lyla tilted her head, as she questioned, “…But I clearly remember you telling us - Aileen, Hazef and I, that you remembered your name to be Julius Kazer right? Remember? When you woke up in the Forsaken Continent? ”

  “…Perhaps I might have remembered wrongly. I was in a state of disarray after all…”

  He didn’t sound confident. And so Lyla pushed on, “…But regardless, we can’t have you using the same name as you previously did in Alethea right? So why would the fact whether you remembered wrongly matter?”

  “It matters.”

  And Kazen’s expression finally dropped. Although he was trying to suppress it in consideration of her, she could tell that a slight bit of frustration was leaking from his voice.

  Lyla’s heart pounded. She was never good with confrontations.

  But…this is necessary.

  Kazen continued, “Do you have any idea what it is like, to suddenly wake up one day and realize your entire life wasn’t what you thought it was? That…it might not even be real? Now, I’m stuck with the knowledge at the back of my mind that I have to return to the Forsaken Continent in 5 years.”

  And his voice grew louder, “And that’s not even considering the sudden memories of other people that’ve been appearing in my head. So many identities, how do I even know who I really am?”

  Lyla was surprised at the sudden fact that he’d been having other memories recently appear.

  "Other identities?"

  "...The whole reason I passed out during the enchantment process was because a bunch of new memories suddenly appeared in my mind."

  Kazen explained what he'd gone through, while trying to settle his emotions down as Lyla calmly listened.

  "...And?"

  And Lyla's response caught Kazen off guard.

  "What do you mean by and? If you had all kinds of conflicting memories, would you know which one to believe?"

  And as she stared at Kazen, she slowly spoke, "...Wouldn't the memories that you cherish the most, and have the fondest memories of be the ones that make up who you really are?"

  As she said those words, her own memories of her childhood slowly resurfaced in her mind.

  The times where she grew up in the orphanage, playing with all the other children.

  The time she spent together with Jana, who cared for her and raised her more than anybody else, teaching her to care for others in return.

  The time she went through her Awakening Ceremony, granting her the ability to sense lies.

  And the times she learnt how much the people around her truly cared for her and cherished her.

  ...And the time she was forced to be subservient to the Kiroshi Royal Family, after they discovered she held a trace of their royal bloodline.

  Although the times after she'd entered the palace were tough, she had never accepted her identity as a member of royalty, instead choosing to try and stay true to who she truly was using the memories of her childhood as her guiding light.

  And that was why she was truly angry when Kazen uttered his next words.

  "And how would you know what it's like? What if everything I am experiencing here is not real either? Or what if the memories of the Forsaken Continent is what's false, none of the things happening there even mattering-"

  And a resounding clap echoed through the room, as it fell into a tense silence.

  ...

  ...

  Kazen held his cheek with one of his hands as he looked at Lyla with a shocked expression, who was glaring at him with a furious gaze.

  "...None of it even matters? So you're telling me none of your entire 20 odd years of life even mattered in making you who you are today? You tell me, what really makes a person who they are then? Ah wait, you're right. I now have memories of spending time here in Alethea, so I probably am not even real in the Forsaken Continent, am I now?"

  "I-"

  Not noticing Kazen trying to intervene, Lyla continued as she grew agitated, "Whatever will I do now? Maybe...I don't even have a personality?! Perhaps I don't exist? I should just lay down and accept my fate, shouldn't I? Wallow in self pity, like you are doing right now?"

  Kazen grew silent, as Lyla continued, "All it takes is for a few extra memories to make your entire life irrelevant? Does that mean your entire life as 'Kazen' was that insignificant then?"

  "It wasn't!"

  Kazen immediately disagreed, but his head was now facing downwards, not daring to meet Lyla's gaze.

  And Lyla stood up, "Then why in Serena's name do a few extra memories matter?! And just by changing what you call yourself, does it mean your entire existence is invalidated? Are our entire lives defined by just our names?"

  And Kazen couldn't reply her. Lyla's mind finally started to calm down a little, as the realization that she'd lost control of her emotions finally started to sink in. At the same time...she could feel Kazen's shame. As she realized that, her mind started to calm down a little.

  She knelt down, took a deep breath, and stared at Kazen from a close distance.

  "You can run away from your memories all you want, like how you instantly tried to come back here the moment you were in an unfamiliar place. You thought that would help things return to normal, didn't you?"

  And Kazen finally looked up at her, as she continued, "But it didn't. Look where it got you now. You said you're starting to get more memories, like from when you did your enchantment. So tell me this..."

  "If you want things to return to normal, don't you think learning about what exactly is happening to you the best way to make that happen?"

  And a bit of light finally entered Kazen's eyes.

  "...And if you keep running away, how are you going to learn what's happening to you?"

  ...

  ...

  She could feel that Kazen was instinctive trying to resist her words, wanting to deny whatever was happening to him. However...it felt like he knew.

  He knew that her words were true, and he was only trying to stay in denial.

  After some time, the gaze in his eyes finally firmed a little. She could sense that he was still a little apprehensive, but at the very least, he'd taken a step forward.

  "Lyla?"

  "...What is it?"

  "Thank you. For your words, and for beating my pathetic self...I probably needed that."

  Lyla stayed silent, not responding to his words as she gave him the silent treatment. Both of them simply sat on the bed, as the sound of the river's current rumbled as the ship coasted downstream.

  "...And I'm sorry. You know, for what I said about the Forsaken Continent not mattering. I shouldn't have said something like that, even as an impulse."

  "Oh, so you do know what you did wrong?"

  "I'm not an idiot, you kn-"

  "If you weren't an idiot, you wouldn't have said that in the first place."

  "I'm not a complete idiot. So yeah...I just wanted to apologize."

  "...It's fine if you realized. I shouldn't have hit you earlier either."

  And for the fifth time in this conversation alone, they went silent again. This time, however, the rays of light peeking through the window felt just a little brighter, as an atmosphere of slight warmth permeated the air.

  That was, until Kazen spoke.

  "That was a nice slap though."

  And Lyla sighed.

  "Well...thanks."

  * * *

  "To all passengers on board, the ship will be arriving in Haslom in another hour. Please get ready and bring your keys to the deck when you're about to depart, thank you."

  The sound of the captain's voice rang throughout the entire ship with the help of magic speakers which sent mana signals through the ship's circuits.

  It's almost time...

  Lyla had already left, and he had been laying on his bed. A small part of that was because he felt awkward to go out to explore the stores with her, given their argument a little while ago. And the other part of it was...that he had a lot on his mind.

  Although it still made him a little uneasy, Lyla's words had finally given him a little bit of the encouragement he needed.

  "If you want things to return to normal, don't you think learning about what exactly is happening to you the best way to make that happen?"

  There were many things he was not the slightest bit clear of. The reason why the day-and night cycles were so different in both worlds, the stormwalls, why he'd been in a capsule for thousands of years, the Lightseal and many other questions.

  However, what he could confront were the slightest bits of memories he'd gained recently, and the power of the 'System' he currently had.

  I should take a look at the System after we reach the Hunter's Guild...

  And with that thought, for the next 30 minutes, his mind ruminated on the recent dream he'd had during the enchantment process. Soon, it was time for him to get going.

  He hopped off the bed, and grabbed his sword near the entrance. He then opened the door of his room and exited, right after checking that he had left nothing behind.

  * * *

  He could see that the merchants had already started packing up, a few of them trying to finish up that one final sale before they departed. He neared the ladder of the deck, and was about to climb it when he noticed a merchant selling tiny weapons about to pack up.

  And he walked up to the merchant, "...You're selling this dagger?"

  He picked up a tiny dagger on the table, as he twirled it with his fingers. It didn't seem to be of very high quality...but he felt like he needed it.

  The merchant smiled in at the unexpected surprise of landing a final sale, "Yes, we are! Usually, I'd sell it for 8 silver, but just for you, I'll be selling it at just 5! How about it?"

  Memories of the dream passed through his mind. The green-haired man holding a spear on one hand and a cut off arm on the other. The spear disintegrating as his arm regenerated. The changes in the green-haired man's aura.

  During his fight with Richards, he'd blamed his weakness for lacking the ability to fight without having access to fire and earth. He had ruminated, and thought about using the air which would always be present to fuel his combat style.

  And he truly thought that would be the first path he'd embark on after he'd returned to Alethea. However...he now saw a new path ahead of him.

  He flashed a smile, "...I'll take it!"

  He drew 5 coins from his pouch as he placed it on the merchant's outstretched hand. The merchant nodded in satisfaction, "Thanks lad! It's always a pleasure doing business with those who know what they want. If you ever want to find me for more purchases, just come by the Lagen Inn 2 blocks south of the Hunter's Guild."

  And as the merchant continued to pack up, he asked, "...I'm assuming you're also here for the Hunter's exam? Good luck with that, you're going to need it. Just to know you in case you do pass it, what's your name?"

  And he replied, "Julius. My name's Julius."

  Even before learning how to channel air, like he'd intended...

  Julius realized he might have found a path to unlocking [Channel: Metal].

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