AN: Ayyy sorry for the wait, it's been rough tely ^^;

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  “Oh…”

  Ritt’s hands fisted his pants, hidden underneath the table. Somehow it felt like the Sien that he knew, the Sien that he’d spent so many days with now and had become family with, was completely gone from the being in front of him. He couldn’t help but feel incredibly foreign and confused when faced with such a gaze.

  Sien’s eyes scanned over Ritt’s expression, which seemed to be bordering on dismay. He knew that what he was saying might frighten the sweet and naive Ritt, who seemed to always trust in the best of him, even when he’d personally seen him attack and kill people with ease. Now that he’d spelled it out for him, perhaps Ritt would finally see him for who he truly was, and lose whatever affection he’d gathered.

  He knew it might end up like this, but still he couldn’t bring himself to let Ritt get the wrong idea… even if it meant he might lose him.

  “...If you’re disgusted that you’ve been deceived by a monster, then you’re free to leave, you know.”

  Sien got up and moved towards the door, doing his best to hide his face so that Ritt wouldn’t see the hurt look that was growing on it. Despite how he was trying to keep a cold tone, Sien could still easily hear the bit of whine that was creeping into it as he spoke.

  “Here’s the door. I won’t keep you, go on.”

  “What…?”

  Ritt stared at Sien from where he was sitting, completely baffled by what was going on. He was already vastly confused at Sien’s sudden icy change, and he had absolutely no idea why Sien was acting like this to him. All he knew was that his heart was squeezing with an unknown pain, as if warning him that he was about to lose something of great importance.

  “Sien…?”

  Sien opened the door and made a gesture to leave, all without turning around to look at Ritt once.

  “There you go, there’s the way out. The big scary monster Duke won’t hold you captive anymore, so get out. I won’t hurt you.”

  “Sien, why are you-?”

  “Ugh, are you really going to drag this on?! Fine then, I’ll leave.”

  Sien threw the door open wide, and moved to step out of the room.

  But before he could take even one step outside, rge and strong arms wrapped around him from behind.

  “Sien! Sien wait! Please don’t leave me alone like this!”

  “...Ritt, let go of me.”

  “No! No, I won’t do it, Sien! Not until you stop acting strangely like this!”

  Sien sighed, feeling the warmth of the tears that were dripping down onto the top of his head. He’d tried to be resolute about letting go of Ritt, but being clinged to like a lifeline like this was greatly shaking his resolve.

  “Ritt… You don’t need to stick to a dangerous guy like me. Go and live your life somewhere with some good people and be happy. I’ll give you some money, so-”

  “No, I don’t want to!”

  Ritt’s desperate head shaking moved his upper body too, almost swinging around Sien who was trapped inside his arms.

  “I want to be here with you! I don’t want to go be happy in any other pce but by your side!”

  Sien’s mouth squirmed, moved by Ritt’s loud profession. However, he still wasn’t brave enough to take the words at face value.

  “...But there’s nothing here to make you happy here, Ritt. I can be nice to you, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m a bad guy, a monster. I’ve tried to be good around you, so you don’t know the real me. I’ve got a bad personality and bad thoughts… You’re too good for all that. You deserve better.”

  Feeling Ritt’s arms shaking, Sien was sure that his words must have finally gotten through to Ritt. He reached up, pnning to gently remove the most likely shocked Ritt’s arms from him, when suddenly the thick arms began to squeeze around him, as if to choke the life out of him.

  “You don’t know about me either! I’m not nearly as good as you say I am! I’ve hurt people, killed people… And I abandoned a bunch of people, all to save myself! You’ve already seen how much of a freakish monster I am, so how could you- How could you possibly say-!”

  Ritt’s rambling words devolved into deep sobs, making Sien finally turn back to look at him. Ritt’s face was absolutely drenched in tears, looking absolutely terribly as he cried uglily… And yet somehow Sien couldn’t help but think that Ritt’s face looked absolutely adorable.

  Realizing that Sien was now looking his way, Ritt quickly tried to wipe his face off on his arms, freeing Sien from his hold. Still, he desperately tried to get out his words through his sobs, doing his utmost to get what he could, out.

  “I want to stay with you! I don’t care how scary you are! I want to stay with you no matter what! It’s the only pce I want to be!”

  “Okay okay, I get it Ritt, I’ll stop.”

  “Please, Sien!”

  “Hey, I said I’d stop already, I won’t go anywhere. Here, come over here with me.”

  Sien led Ritt over to the big luxurious bed, sitting him down and finding a nice cloth to wipe his face with. Although he felt guilty for causing Ritt to become like this, he couldn’t help the tingling in his heart from how clearly Ritt wanted to be with him. A pleased smile snuck onto his face, and Sien couldn’t help but thank his lucky stars that Ritt was too blinded by tears to see it.

  ~~~

  Later on, when Ritt’s tears had all finished drying up, and he was id on the bed with Sien lying next to him fiddling with his long hair, Ritt couldn’t help his mind repeatedly returning to their previous topic. He was scared to voice more of his thoughts, afraid of having a repeat of the fight that had just occurred between them, and afraid of losing even more of Sien’s favor. And yet still, the question wouldn’t leave his mind, buzzing around like a bunch of bees until they finally unwittingly escaped his mouth.

  “...I know you told me already, but… Are you really sure you’re okay with doing all this quietly for the Emperor?”

  Perhaps Sien was tired of putting up with the nobles, but that didn’t have to mean that he was willing to quietly become a vilin while hiding the fact that his actions had the Emperor’s backing. Ritt was sure that he wouldn’t be happy with it if he were put into the same predicament as this back in his days as a Padin, used as a mask to hide the royal’s misdeeds towards the others. He was fully aware that he was just a tool for them in all situations, but at least he’d been a tool that they’d used in the name of ‘justice’ and ‘protection’, instead of as a mad hunting dog.

  Knowing how gentle Sien could be, the idea didn’t sit right with him… even if the man himself had said that he was the one who’d provoked such a thing first. Ritt found it hard to believe that his kind and wonderful Sien hadn’t been coerced in some way by the Emperor.

  Sien sighed gently at Ritt’s question, still softly smiling and continuing to py with Ritt’s hair as he spoke.

  “Yup. Like I said, I’m completely fine with it.”

  The corners of Ritt’s mouth pulled, unsure how to further communicate his concerns. Without having been there, without having seen everything that went down, he couldn’t tell how true Sien’s words were. He knew that Sien, his kind Sien, wouldn’t lie to him, but that didn’t mean that his words couldn’t be twisted in some way to hide something from him either. If there was a chance, even a small one, that Sien was actually in need of his help somehow, Ritt would gdly offer it, no matter what he needed!

  Feeling a surge of resolve, Ritt sat up to look down at Sien, his hair gently slipping out of Sien’s fingers as he moved.

  “Sien… I know he may be your uncle, but if you want me to kill the Emperor so that you can be freed, I’ll do it for you. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

  The words that he spoke might have been quiet, but the stone cold intensity behind them was easily perceivable. Sien pulled an absolutely baffled face upon hearing them, not at all expecting Ritt to make such a radical statement out of the blue like he had. Soon he sat up too, reaching out to grab Ritt’s shoulder with one hand while the other quickly smacked itself over Ritt’s mouth.

  “Hey! You can’t say that kinda stuff, even if you’re in my room! It’s treason, Ritt! Treason! Someone might hear you!”

  Ritt looked into Sien’s shocked face for a few seconds, blinking slowly, and then gently pulled away Sien’s hand, looking deeply into his eyes as he spoke again.

  “I could do it easily, if that’s what you wanted, Sien. Then no one would ever be able to use your true name against you again.”