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Chapter 7 Cocoon (Middle)

  Chapter 7: Cocoon (Middle)

  Ouyang's due date was August 27th, and as the day approached, Longbiao's mood became increasingly anxious.

  "This time, Ouyang's aunt took advantage of Longgui's return to the villa and said to Longgui: "Mr. Long, this is something that shouldn't be said by me, but now it can't be left unsaid. Look, my family's Ouyang is about to give birth, and yesterday's Hong Kong newspaper said that Ouyang didn't have a certified marriage, so the child born will be called an illegitimate child without a father. They also said that Ouyang wants to rely on you as the biological father of this child. I think what they're saying is true, otherwise how would the birth certificate write the father's name? Is that right, Mr. Long?"

  Long Bao was originally holding Wen Li's child, Ice, and upon hearing this, his face immediately sank. Aunt Yang seemed to have not noticed and continued to chatter: "Ice is a poor child, really pitiful, alas, I hope the Bodhisattva will bless my nephew's grandson and not let him end up with such a fate, that would be too miserable!"

  Wen Li just happened to come out of the kitchen with a bowl of soup, and her whole body shook, spilling some of the soup. Shi Wei was quick-witted and rushed over to take the bowl from Wen Li's hands, saying: "Here, let me do it, Wen Li, you go hug Bingbing." He then turned his head to say to Long Bao, "Chairman Long, dinner is ready, dinner is ready."

  Long Bao watched as Wen Li carried Ice to wash her hands, her shoulders slightly shaking. At this moment, Ou Yang, who was also wearing a maternity dress, walked towards him with a big belly. Long Bao's gaze shifted and fixed on Ou Yang's stomach, where there was a child, a child that he had analyzed, judged and inferred to be his own, the 65th generation descendant of the Long family.

  "Dragon, let's eat, today are all your favorite dishes," said Ouyang Rouyin to Long Bao.

  Do you like it? Have I ever liked vegetables? Have I ever liked eating? Longbiao clicked his teeth, got up, sat down at the table, and ate a bowl of rice without saying a word. He put down his chopsticks, went to the sofa to smoke, Shi Wei also hastily took two mouthfuls, and Longbiao followed Shi Wei out the door.

  Shi Wei and Long Bao walked onto the rooftop of Li Heng's headquarters. Shi Wei patted Long Bao, who was silent, on the back and said in a low voice: "Old Six, I know you're bitter inside, but there's nothing we can do about this situation! We're brothers, we share our difficulties together, even if it means cutting off our heads to use as stools for each other. If you have any grievances, just tell me, or you can even beat me up to vent your frustrations and hatred. Don't keep it inside, or you'll get sick!"

  Long Bao raised his head to gaze at the vast, dark night sky, and suddenly felt that the darkness of this night was like a struggling, flowing river. The lights in those houses were like desperate, withered leaves drifting on the surface of the river, or like the ghostly phosphorescence that occasionally flickered on the tombs of Xiongshan Mountain, eerily conveying a chill.

  This was still the hottest August, but Long Bao couldn't help but shiver. Shi Wei was thoughtful and immediately asked with concern: "Old Six, are you cold? Have you caught a cold?" He turned his body and carefully stared at Long Bao's face, "You need to take care of your body, recently you've been eating less, and your mental state isn't good either..."

  Shi Wei said something else, but Long Bao didn't listen to a single word, it was meaningless to him. He walked to the edge of the rooftop, leaned out and looked at the lights downstairs, the crowd, the grass, trees, and distant mountains. Shi Wei followed closely behind him.

  Longbiao flicked the cigarette butt with his thumb, and a small red glow drew an arc in the darkness before slowly falling to the ground. Longbiao concentrated and listened carefully, wanting to hear the sound of the cigarette hitting the ground. In vain, almost no sound came. He took out that one-yuan lighter again and slammed it against the ground with force.

  There was liquid butane in the lighter, and as soon as it hit the cement floor, it burst open with a loud noise. Longbiao heard the clear sound and couldn't help but laugh, thinking to himself: at such a high altitude, anything that falls down will be destroyed, let alone a person; I wonder what shape I would be in if I fell down.

  Shi Wei and Meng Yuan looked at Long Bao's strange behavior of destroying the sanitary facilities, their faces filled with whispers. Long Bao turned his head and said to them with a smile: "You think this building will one day collapse like this lighter, disappear, never reappear, and cannot be restored?"

  Meng Yuan and others were even more reluctant to speak up, Shi Wei chuckled: "Hehe, this is philosophy, I don't quite understand it, but even if I did, I wouldn't think about it, that's too far-fetched, thinking too much is also a hassle."

  Long Bao's eyes were deep and his expression was solemn. He let out a soft sigh and said, "Yes, don't think about it, thinking too much is also troublesome."

  He fixed his gaze again on the darkness in the night sky. Tonight, there were no stars, and it looked like it was going to rain, but I didn't know if this rain would be as crazy as the one two days ago, that rain was really called rain, the raindrops splashed out of the water on the cement floor, and hit the glass window with a loud noise.

  Rainwater, always able to wash away the dust on the ground, in the air and in the scenery, returning a clean and clear world. The breath after the rain is a bit fresh, and this freshness is not far away, it's right in front of you, within reach, can be seen, touched and smelled.

  Long Bao said in a low voice after a long time: "Tomorrow, accompany me to Germany."

  Jing'er hung up the phone with tears in her eyes and sat blankly on the stool, lost in thought.

  This call was made by Ouyang, and Ouyang told herself that Longbiao had been calling out her name in his dreams for days. Ouyang also said that Longbiao seemed to have decided to let the child not have a legal father, and even asked herself to persuade Longbiao. What did Ouyang want to persuade? Jing'er knew, completely knew, Ouyang was forcing her, Ouyang must have known many secrets, so she forced her.

  Yes, Long Bao is still waiting for himself, so he didn't marry Ouyang. But can it be that the fate of being an illegitimate child will also be bestowed upon the unborn child? Is all this just because I'm still fantasizing about Long Bao and imagining a future where we'll fly together?

  Jing'er's hand trembled as she wrote out Xi Murong's poem "A Tree in Blossom" on the paper, stroke by stroke.

  How I met you / At my most beautiful moment, for this / I have prayed to Buddha for five hundred years / Asking him to let us be together in a romantic relationship.

  The Buddha then transformed me into a tree / growing on the side of the road you must pass by / under the sunlight, flowers bloomed cautiously / each one is my longing from past lives.

  When you walk in, please listen carefully / The trembling leaves are my passionate waiting / And when you finally ignore and walk away / Behind you, scattered all over the ground / My friend, those aren't flower petals / It's my withered heart...

  This poem had already moved her teenage heart when Jing'er was in high school, and it became a deep impression on her soul. This is what love looks like to her. However, when this love truly arrives, it presents itself in an overturned state. Happiness and beauty, as well as pain and sorrow, are like twin sisters, following each other's shadows throughout the entire process.

  After studying philosophy for so long, I couldn't find an answer to the problem that has been troubling Longbiao, and instead became more and more confused: Must Longbiao's illness be saved by himself? Why do I think this way? These days, I've chatted with him a lot, but always felt that I hadn't convinced him. He just listened to me, took his medicine on time, and didn't get angry, but from various signs, he was holding back, no longer conquering everything like before, but becoming more and more obedient, lazy, and tired. Shi Wei said that his eyes often looked very dull. Why is this? Is the only way to cure Longbiao's mental illness through surgery?

  Look at yourself again, you're not only very incompetent, but also sinking deeper and deeper, unable to face yourself. It's really impossible to be reckless and open your heart to embrace love, feeling like you've always been indulging in weak lies and fantasies, self-pitying in false nostalgia. You're completely obsessed, when will this obsession finally come to an end?

  The dragon has children, the children have a mother, and if they continue to entangle with the dragon's scales, it will destroy this possible family and bring another disaster to the dragon. But if they don't interact with the dragon's scales, what kind of consequences will there be? The consequences are unimaginable, and no one dares to take this risk.

  It's a dilemma. When Autumn Leaf was here, it was a dilemma. After Autumn Leaf left, Ouyang brought his child with him, and this new dilemma is even more terrifying, making me deeply sorrowful.

  Cocoon, Shi Wei said Long Bao carried a black cocoon with him. I know that he has many unsolved cocoons in his body, heart and soul, and now he is also bound by the cocoon, just like the indulgence of the moment, weaving a dense and delicate emotional black cocoon, all of which is like a black seal, I don't know what kind of flame or magic can open it.

  For five hundred years, I begged in front of the Buddha for five hundred years, asking him to let us form a bond of love, but what my past life's longing and expectation waited for was such a fate... Grandfather, grandfather, what should I do?

  Jing'er let her tears fall silently onto this letter.

  Knock knock! Someone is knocking at the door.

  Jing'er wiped away her tears, opened the door, and it was Yu Yue, the son of the chairman of the Engel Group. Since meeting him at a business banquet two years ago with Jiao Siwei, Yu Yue had been pursuing her relentlessly. He almost wrote her a letter or a poem every day, and now her email inbox and drawers were filled with his declarations of love. After she moved from Chang'an to Germany, he even took up residence in Germany, becoming the CEO of their group's European division, seemingly determined to pursue her to the end.

  "Jing'er," Yu Yue held a bunch of purple tulips in front of his chest, with a radiant smile on his face, and said, "Jing'er." Jing'er let out a soft sigh, and also forced a smile at him, saying sideways, "Please come in."

  Yu Yue's smile remained unchanged, standing there without immediately going in, but instead looked at Jing Er with deep emotion and said: "When I was searching for my loved one, I inadvertently collected the nostalgia of the years, happiness and worries piled up into my life. Jing Er, during the three days I spent in France on business, it felt like an eternity, fortunately, your photo gave me some comfort, Jing Er, I miss you."

  Yu Yue's physique is outstanding, with a handsome face and a prominent family background in Southeast Asia. At the age of 24, he has already obtained a Ph.D. in literature and management, and has published two bestsellers. His talent is overflowing, and to ordinary people, this is simply the perfect Prince Charming. Honestly, everyone doesn't quite understand why he would pursue Jing Er, an ordinary girl who isn't exceptionally beautiful. Jing Er didn't respond, and instead asked him in a low voice: "What do you want to drink? I'll get it for you."

  Yu Yue had long seen that Jing Er was troubled, and he smiled warmly, saying: "I'd like to drink the tea you brewed, can I fulfill this extravagant wish?" He walked directly into the room, took down the flowers he had sent last time, replaced them with this bunch of chrysanthemums, and then put the card on the corner of the desk. This corner was already stacked with a thick pile of cards, all of which were sent by him, with carefully written poems on them.

  Jing'er went to make tea, and Yu Yue saw the poem that Jing'er had written about Shi Mu Yong. From the handwriting, it was clear that Jing'er's heart was in a mess when she wrote this poem. There were several water stains on the letter paper, which seemed to be Jing'er's tears. Yu Yue knew that this poem was not written for him, but must have been written because of Long Bao! This person, this person, it was the existence of Long Bao that made Jing'er give up her pursuit!

  He quickly pulled out his pen and wrote a few lines of poetry on it before flipping over the letter paper.

  Jing Er has already washed the teacup and placed it on the tea table, all that's left is to wait for the water to boil before brewing the tea.

  Yu Yue sat opposite Jing Er, his eyes filled with dense warmth, gazing at Jing Er intensely, and said softly: "Jing Er, from the first day I met you, it's been two years and thirty-six days, right?"

  Is that so? Has it been that long? Jing'er really can't remember, or rather she never tried to recall. Jing'er smiled slightly at him without responding, and instead picked up the purple clay teapot to pour tea into the cup.

  Yu Yue said with a deep and emotional tone, "Jing Er, you're studying literature and self-studying philosophy in this renowned university. You've explored all the literary philosophies from ancient to modern times, so I'd like to ask you, what do you think love is?"

  What is love, after all? This question... Jing'er's hand trembled slightly as she stared at the crystal clear tea water, trying her best to discern its contents. She remembered discussing this topic with many old friends, but those discussions were now distant memories.

  Yu Yue let out a soft sigh, seemingly emotional, and said: "There are two kinds of love in the world. One is ordinary love, and the other is heavenly love. Ordinary love focuses on life, while heavenly love emphasizes the fusion of souls. These two cannot be compared, no one can say who is higher or happier than the other. Jing Er, I'm being reckless in front of you today because I really need to talk to you."

  "When people fall in love, they often exhibit comical or tragic phenomena. Everyone knows that perfect love can create a perfect life, but this is forever imperfect," Yu Yue said with narrowed eyes and a gentle shake of her head. "Because both parties are different individuals, there exist differences in personality, thoughts, experiences, and backgrounds, and these differences bring about feelings of insecurity."

  Jing'er's heart involuntarily shrank, and Yu Yue took a sip of water before continuing: "The emergence of love is beyond reason. Perhaps it stems from some unique attraction or perhaps an abnormal possessiveness. Some people even consider it a call from the soul. Jing'er, love is destined to make people unable to be clear-headed or rational about it. Many times, the flaws in one's nature lead to a very superficial understanding of love, causing them to forget that love and life are inseparable facts that cannot be altered."

  He grasped Jing'er's trembling hand, wrapping it in his palm, and said softly but deeply: "Jing'er, love is not selfish, nor is it fearful. Love is not a pale burden, nor is it a dangerous encumbrance. True love does not make one's will sink, but rather opens one's heart to appreciate life. Under the perfect bath of love, we expect new joys, not escape from old misfortunes."

  He bowed his head and gently kissed Jing'er's hand, Jing'er felt his hand and lips were warm, she stared blankly at Yu Yue's bold move. Yu Yue raised his head, his eyes already had tears in them, staring at Jing'er said: "Perfect love gives each other life, everyone happily accepts it and passionately gives it, happy in this existence, sublimating in this happiness. But, Jing'er, there is a kind of love that is not truly concerned with each other's happiness, this love is poisonous. Forgive me, I have to point out this fact. There is a kind of person who, due to their own unfortunate experiences or certain anger and hatred psychological barriers, will enclose themselves in an iron wall, hiding everything, hostile to everything, he is forever unable to expand true love, in his eyes love and hate are twins, because he fears hate, he ignores love."

  He was talking about Long Bao, Tian, everything he said was right, he completely understood his emotional enemy. Jing Er's tears fell down.

  "Jing Er, love holds a sacred place in human life. It's not meant to imprison us, nor is it an excuse for us to escape. How can love be a prison of the self?" Yu Yue's words were filled with heart-piercing power, striking Jing Er with pain, yet also moving her deeply. "Jing Er, but love is not an unbridled force either. We must submit to social morality."

  He bowed his head again and kissed Jing'er's hand, his tears falling on her hand, a little hot but also a little cold entering Jing'er's crying heart. "Jing'er, I know you still miss Longbiao, I can completely understand your feelings for him, but I have to remind you that by doing so, you are completely closing yourself off, isolating your feelings, and you can't see the harm caused by your illusions! Ouyang is about to give birth, do you want to continue this difficult situation? Jing'er, I don't believe that the value of love lies in possessing life. Russell said, 'If love is just for possession, then it has no value, it's like working just for money. Love must consciously recognize that the self of the loved one is as important as our own self, and we must acknowledge that others' feelings and desires are as important as our own. This means not only following our consciousness but also our instincts to extend our self-feeling to others.'"

  Heaven, I am doing it like this, but why is it so difficult for me? Jing'er still didn't respond, letting Yu Yue continue speaking.

  Yu Yue knew he had already started to speak out, and he decided to go further, to uncover the most hidden veil of Jing Er. So he changed his tone and said: "But unfortunately, this theoretical meaning has become difficult to achieve in a society full of ruthless competition due to our individual differences in thinking and personality, and because of our ambition to win, compete, and enjoy. Jing Er, isn't that right? Take Long Bao for example, I know you regard him as the counterpart of your soul, and you hope to have that heavenly love with him. But Jing Er, you are wrong. From the moment you met him until now, how much harm has he caused you? He lightly promised others but didn't keep his promises, he selfishly avoided you and other friends who cared about him and loved him, while secretly spreading his lust everywhere, he flirted with everyone but never took responsibility, he had a family and completely betrayed your feelings for him. Now you've gone to Germany to let him live in peace, but why are you still so obsessed with him? You still have hope for him, for you and his future, but can't you reason out that this hope is wrong? This wrong hope will bring you painful disaster!"

  Yu Yue said, with emotion, and knelt down in front of Jing Er, saying in a sorrowful voice: "Jing Er, ah Jing Er, a noble soul has self-affirmation, a noble soul respects itself. But this Long Bao is a complex, cunning, and terrifyingly powerful monster, his behavior makes me suspect that his soul was sold to the devil Satan long ago. He finds thousands of ways to justify himself, manipulating everyone's heart in the palm of his hand, treating everyone's soul, especially yours, as a simple pleasure to be enjoyed and trampled upon! Why don't you look at me in front of you? I can not only love you unconditionally but also let you see the mercy of love, rather than its cruelty. Let you eternally receive the praise of fulfilling love, rather than being abandoned by his ruthlessness and suffering loneliness! Jing Er, Jing Er!"

  Yu Yue was indeed madly in love with Jing Er, he forgot himself and tightly grasped Jing Er's hand, placing it on his chest, his trembling heartbeat violently pounding against Jing Er's skin.

  Good heavens! Jing'er's melancholic heartstrings were stirred up by his words and actions, as if they were tangled threads. She almost thought she was convinced by him!

  All along, he had been quietly and crazily adding fuel to the fire of this burning passion. Until today, he finally lit it with a single spark, and the raging flames engulfed the room in red. His tears made Jing Er hesitate, made her flustered, and made her heart waver. Jing Er stared blankly at this outstanding man who was confessing his love like a stormy rain. She really felt moved for a moment, and suddenly thought: Five hundred years, what had she been waiting for in these five hundred years of longing? What kind of tears were the falling flower petals? Who was withering for whom?

  Yu Yue had been suppressing his emotions for too long, and he suddenly became unable to control the intense surging of his feelings. He pounced on Jing Er, embracing her tightly, and was about to kiss her pale, trembling lips. Jing Er was startled by his sudden attack and tried with all her might to push him away, but he still managed to kiss her cheek.

  Although kissing cheeks is a common social courtesy abroad, Jing'er has always been very resistant to it. Yu'e made a mistake this time, Jing'er pushed him away completely and stood up abruptly, her pale face unable to hide her anger, questioning him: "You, you..." Jing'er didn't know how to accuse him, turned around and walked to the door, opened it, and said coldly, "Thank you for coming to comfort me, sorry, I need to rest."

  Yu Yue never thought that Jing Er would react so greatly to his kiss, he couldn't help but feel extremely disheartened, gazing sorrowfully at the goddess in his heart for a long time before slowly walking forward and gathering all his courage to say: "You'd rather give up on happiness within reach for a hopeless, fallen, ugly soul, is it worth it?"

  Jing'er turned her face towards the open door, her gaze cast into the corridor, and finally said: "What you say makes sense, but you don't know that indescribable and unnamable feeling. It tells me I was born for that lost soul, that soul has been waiting for my salvation all along. Salvation is hard to come by, but I must have unwavering courage, and hold onto the hope of salvation for a lifetime."

  Yu Yue's heart was like a knife cut as he painfully groaned: "Jing Er, Jing Er, in what way am I inferior to him? I've been pursuing you with all my might, why are you still so unmoved? Jing Er, do you know how deeply I love you? He has wronged you in so many ways, he has so many flaws, and now he even has a family, why are you so obsessed with him? Why won't you take a closer look at me? He can only bring you endless pain, while I can give you happiness, why won't you give me this chance?"

  Jing'er's tears burst out again, she struggled to suppress the acid heat rolling in her heart, and replied with great difficulty: "The value of some love is not happiness in the usual sense, he and I are like this, maybe we can't be together for life, but I can only love him... Yu Yue, I know you're excellent and perfect, you also love me very much, but love requires both sides, lacking one is unacceptable... Be my brother instead, it's more suitable for us, I can learn a lot from you, just... just that I can no longer accept anyone else's feelings... sorry..."

  Yu Yue's handsome face was twisted in agony, he leaned against the wall with a desperate gasp, staring fixedly at Jing'er. Jing'er turned her head away without looking at him, but she had already sensed what kind of eyes he was using to look at her.

  Yu Yue finally let out a few dry coughs and said in a sorrowful tone: "Jing Er, I'm leaving...I'll come back to see you in a few days..."

  The door closed, and a dull, muffled sound of footsteps came from the corridor, one step at a time, eerily desolate.

  Long Bao had been standing under the apartment of this famous German university for several hours, watching Yu Yue go in and come out. The subordinate who was responsible for protecting Jing Er had already reported to him about Yu Yue, but he didn't expect that he would coincidentally run into this guy, and this guy even stayed with Jing Er behind closed doors in the room for two hours.

  He had actually arrived here before Yu Yue came, but he was afraid to see Jing Er. This fear comes from the soul's inability to face it, so he sat in the car and couldn't get off because of this fear, and that's when he saw Yu Yue.

  Shi Wei thought to himself that he was suffocating in the car, and from Long Bao's strange behavior, he could see his thoughts. He felt that Long Bao was a complete coward. Damn it, if he loved Jing Er so much, why didn't he just marry her? Who cares about Ou Yang being a bastard child? Besides, who knows if he's really Long Bao's son? To be sure, they'd have to do a paternity test! And even if he was, you can't just force yourself to live a life of misery because of some kid. What's most important is having love, that way you can live happily. However, these words were absolutely not to be said to Long Bao, as meddling in his private affairs would only make him confused and ill.

  Shi Wei gently pushed Long Bao, and said in a low voice: "Chairman Long, that guy has left. Shall we go up and talk to Jing'er? I also need to go to the bathroom."

  He and Jing'er stayed in the house for two hours, what would they do? Would they...? No, it's impossible, no, everything is possible! No, why would it be possible?

  Yu Yue is excellent, and not just ordinary excellence. I've read part of his book, it's well-written, very beautiful, romantic, and poetic. He has been pursuing Jing Er for a long time, even going to Germany for her. As long as he's in this city, he'll send flowers to Jing Er, so he must love Jing Er deeply. Will Jing Er also fall in love with him? Jing Er hasn't left any messages for herself in days, and from past records, the number of words is decreasing, has Jing Er fallen for him? What will happen when Jing Er and he lock themselves in a room for two hours? Or have they already done something between them?

  Long Bao became extremely anxious, his fists heavily pounding on the car door, startling Shi Wei and others. Long Bao yanked open the car door and rushed towards Jing Er's room without a word.

  Shi Wei hurriedly said in a low voice to the guardian of Jing'er, "Quickly inform Jing'er that we have arrived!" He also hastily got off the car and quickly caught up with Long Bao, saying "Old Six, wait for me, wait for me."

  Long Bao's sudden visit made Jing Er both surprised and flustered, she was at a loss as soon as she received the call. She instinctively knew that those flowers and cards would give Long Bao the wrong idea, so she hastily stuffed the cards into her drawer and threw the flowers in the trash can. Before she could even clean up the tea set, the sound of knocking on the door pierced through the air.

  Her heart was racing like a deer, she hastily combed her hair in front of the dresser, took two deep breaths to calm herself down, and opened the door. Long Biao was staring at her fiercely, his terrifying gaze made her whole heart shrink: Oh no, had he fallen ill again? This gaze, this gaze...

  What happened next was indeed terrifying. Long Bao scrutinized the room, staring at the coffee table, and surprisingly picked up a flower from the trash can, reinserting it into the vase. Then he stared at the desk, walked over to it, and began reading the letter paper that Jing'er had written with Xi Muren's poem on it. Under Jing'er's handwriting, he saw two lines of unfamiliar male handwriting: My heart is filled with your love, your heart is full of my affection, our souls are hand in hand, transcending life's darkness, passing through the starry sky, lingering at the edge of the world, waiting for the radiant dawn of life. I love you, Jing'er, I am the one you have been waiting for five hundred years, your past life's longing.

  Long Baoxiao burst out laughing and said wickedly to Shi Wei: "Old Three, come see what's called a declaration of love!"

  Shi Wei knew this was not good, and he didn't dare to move his feet. Jing Er's heart jumped into her throat, she thought it was the poem of that Mu Rong that Long Bao saw, and she also knew she had to explain the origin of the flower to Long Bao, and she had too many questions about Long Bao's sudden appearance today.

  However, Long Bao didn't give her a chance to explain. His eyes suddenly narrowed into a slit, coldly staring at Shi Wei and Jing Er. His voice was like a dry towel, rough and hoarse: "Don't dare look? Good." He tore the paper off in one swift motion and stuffed it into his own pocket. Then he brazenly opened Jing Er's drawer, revealing a full drawer of cards to everyone. It's over! He must have misunderstood! Why didn't she throw these cards away?! There was no way to explain now! Jing Er's whole body began to shake violently.

  Long Bao was like a madman, reading the beautiful and infatuated poems on these cards: I will present to you the most magnificent jewels in the world, asking you to be moved by this; but you disdainfully said that you need the sound of free wings flapping in the air. So I found a bird, using my arms and all my possessions to exchange for its two wings. From the high mountain, I plunged down, desperately flapping my wings, wanting to present to you the sound of wings flapping in the air; but you didn't hear it. These wings were too small, unable to bear the weight of love. When you saw me fall from the high mountain, you only heard a single sound: dull and monotonous, like a heartbeat, Boom!

  "Ah, well written!" Long Bao nodded and continued to read: From the boundless distance came the most precious encounter in life, I was then intoxicated by the future after the encounter, but this future was like another boundless distance, light was oppressed by darkness, struggling and crying out, fragmented.

  "What a load of crap!" Longbiao tossed the card with disdain, "With this level of writing, you dare to call yourself an author? Or even a literary doctorate?" Longbiao looked at a few more cards, but the more he read, the worse it got. He swept all the cards outwards, scattering them on the floor.

  Long Bao, under the watchful eyes of everyone, completely disregarded Jing Er's heart-wrenching pain at this moment and continued to openly inspect Jing Er's drawer. Long Bao found a thick stack of letters, most of which were written by Yu Yue.

  Long Bao looked on as Shi Wei pulled down the constantly tearful Jing Er and sat her down, inwardly cursing Long Bao as a pervert.

  Only the heavens know how Long Bao managed to find two condoms and a pack of birth control pills that had been used several times from this stack of letters. All of this is known only to the heavens. When these two things appeared on this desk, Long Bao's face turned ashen.

  His whole body was weak, trembling weakly. These things were collected so secretly that it was tacit for Longbiao, and he didn't need to say anything else. His teeth involuntarily collided with each other, as if he was suffering from extreme cold. He stiffly put the two condoms and birth control pills back in the envelope, making a gurgling sound deep in his throat, then stood up, walked out, and went into the corridor, where he suddenly started coughing violently, as if he wanted to cough out all his internal organs. As he walked and coughed, he hunched over, looking like he couldn't bear the weight on his shoulders or the weight of his own body, as if he was about to fall over.

  He really didn't give Jing'er any chance to explain, his stubbornness and despair reached an extreme at this moment, and this extreme was a critical point in some sense.

  That night he left Germany and flew to Paris, standing on the Eiffel Tower, he again had the idea of falling from a height, somewhat eagerly wanting to feel the taste of the fall, he whispered Tagore's poem: Now the god who destroys everything has come! Now life is intoxicated with the game of death, welcome him with all your might. Neither look left nor right, hide nothing, and gently knock his feet with your forehead. Now the god who destroys everything has come.

  Long Wan spent a day in France, then went to Switzerland, and flew to Italy. Today he sat in the ancient Roman Colosseum, looking at these ancient ruins, with a gloomy expression, deep in thought. The ancient gladiators had to kill their opponents just to gain the right to survive, but their blood was the joyful cheers of the audience in the stands. But the prostitutes of ancient Babylon were as famous as the Roman gladiators.

  Life? Love? Group? Power? **? Passing on the family line? Other people's feelings? One's own feelings? What does all this mean? What does it mean? In this only fleeting world, what does it mean?

  Nothing means anything anymore, nothing is all that's left. Everything is fleeting, meaningless, and utterly devoid of significance.

  ……

  Long Bao sat on the stone, motionless for five hours, his eyes becoming increasingly empty and dull, his expression growing more somber.

  Suddenly, Shi Wei came over with great tension and said cautiously: "Long, Chairman Long, I have something to tell you. Ouyang, Wen Li, and Bingbing are all missing."

  Long Bao raised his eyes wearily and looked at Shi Wei, replying tiredly: "Really? Really?"

  Shi Wei had been infuriated by Long Bao's behavior over the past few days, and he wished he could also slap him a few times like Hai Tao did. However, he didn't dare to, and only dared to respond in a low voice: "Yes, yes, it was just now, Kangding Village just called to say so."

  Long Bao let out a low sigh, stood up, and walked away with his back bent. Shi Wei gritted his teeth and stared at Long Bao's curved figure, secretly slapping him in the face in her heart, but was suddenly moved by his haggard and exhausted appearance, and couldn't help but think: He, really pitiful.

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