Chapter Fourteen: A Retrospective Glance

  The eternal sun in the azure sky moves slowly according to its own mode of movement, its light and heat seemingly evenly distributed on every inch of the earth's surface. The air is transformed into circulating wind because of its light and heat. The wind always says: "Living beings, I am the mood of heaven and earth, without me, there would be no clouds in the world."

  Clouds, driven by the wind, are either forced to or delightedly change their appearance in the eyes of living beings at all times. At this moment, layer upon layer of them have transformed into dark silhouettes in the sky, rolling about like a vast and mysterious underworld.

  This was on a road in a certain country in Latin America, a 16k novel... The first train team is rushing forward, and a black sedan leaves the team and stops. Only then did Long Bao open the car door and walk out, standing by the side of the road and looking up at the dark clouds in the sky. He maintained this posture for a long time without moving. Jing'er stared at him for a while in the car before walking to his front and saying softly: "I'll accompany you to the small road ahead and take a walk, okay?" After that, she took Long Bao's hand and walked down the highway, sitting on a ridge in the field.

  Long Bao pulled a small blade of grass from the ground and twirled it between his fingers, looking up at the sky. His low, thick voice was like the wind blowing across this desolate land: "The overcast sky has obscured the heavens, the air is filled with wandering dust, on windy and rainy days, the dust will be injured."

  Jing'er gently leaned her head on Long Bao's shoulder and said in a low voice, "Dust won't get hurt, it will only get tired. But when the rain brings it back to the earth from its wandering journey, it can rest well." Long Bao smiled, turned his head to look at Jing'er, and Jing'er also lifted her head to smile at him.

  The cloud layer was getting lower and lower, and it was already raining in the distance. Li Da Shan walked to Long Bao's back and said cautiously: "Chairman Long, Mr. Wang and Mr. Gu are still waiting for us up ahead..."

  Chairman Wang was invited by Long Bo six months ago to be in charge of the charity plan for Qian Lao Trust Center in the Asia-Pacific region. Under his initiative and accompaniment, Long Bo and Jing Er visited and inspected numerous charitable institutions founded under the advocacy of Professor Goodley around the world. Especially since Exxon's interview with him, Long Bo traveled all over the world, witnessing with his own eyes millions of people still immersed in hardships in various countries. The intense suffering of these people strongly stirred up his compassionate heart. Compared to those who suffered from war, poverty, hunger, disease, and death threats, he felt that his own sufferings were not worth mentioning. Those refugees who looked like skeletons due to hunger and malnutrition, the children who were as thin as twigs, with swollen feet, bulging bellies, and deformed bodies, the desolate scenes of thousands of miles of barren land and scattered corpses, were like sharp arrows piercing his conscience.

  Long Bao ignored Li Da Shan's urging, and he thought of the little boy who was curled up in front of a dilapidated brick house just two hours ago, staring at him with a dazed and helpless gaze, his body covered in festering sores, and the swarms of flies buzzing around his wounds. He stared at the approaching rainstorm ahead, as if waiting for it to strike where he was.

  Jing'er covered her mouth and coughed softly a few times. Perhaps due to the exhaustion of running around these past few days, Jing'er's physical condition wasn't very good. She had caught a bad cold a few days ago and hadn't recovered yet. Long Biao held Jing'er tightly in his arms and asked in a low voice, "Are you okay?"

  "It's okay," Jing'er relaxed her hand that was lightly covering her mouth, smiled and said, "Let's go, everyone is still waiting for us up ahead. There's a press conference at 3 pm this afternoon, you and Mr. Wang need to discuss some things."

  Long Bao nodded and stood up with Jing'er, walking back to the car. He said to Li Da Shan, "Let's go." Li Da Shan immediately started the car and followed the convoy.

  Jing'er leaned against Long Bao's chest, her cheeks slightly flushed. Long Bao covered her with his suit jacket and grasped her left hand in his, speaking to her in a very low voice: "Jing'er, I've already made up my mind."

  "Are you sure? Won't you reconsider?" Jing Er asked softly.

  "No need, what I've seen is enough," Long Bao's eyebrows furrowed deeply, "The world has 3 billion poor people, with 1.8 billion living in extreme poverty. Poverty has become a wildly spreading plague. The wealthy indulge in materialism and luxury without restraint, while the poor struggle to survive on the edge of despair, with no guarantee of their next meal. The cruel reality of inequality is becoming increasingly severe. I can no longer afford to waste my time and energy verifying what they say. I believe they are truly doing good deeds. What more do I have to worry about when it comes to people who prioritize balance and fairness in human life? They've done so many meaningful things! Old Wang was right, 'When poor, be self-sufficient; when successful, benefit the world.'"

  Jing'er suppressed her cough with great effort, but finally couldn't help but let out another cough. Long Bao hurriedly patted and stroked her back gently. Jing'er took a short breath and asked Long Bao: "When will you announce your decision?"

  "Let's announce it once we're back in Hong Kong," Long Biao said with a hint of a smile, "and hold a press conference before the surgery, just as we discussed."

  "I've been waiting for this sentence for several months," Jing'er laughed and said, "Today I finally waited for it, it seems that our trip out this time is not in vain."

  Li Dashan also chimed in excitedly from the driver's seat: "Chairman Long, you've finally decided to have the surgery? That's great! We've been advising you for months, but you kept putting it off. If Shi Wei knew about this, I don't know how thrilled he'd be. You don't know, do you? Shi Wei calls me every day, always asking when you'll make up your mind to have the surgery. Haha."

  Meng Yuan also chimed in: "Yes, Chairman Long, the doctors have already said that your surgery can't be delayed any longer. The longer you delay, the more difficult the operation will become."

  Long Bao felt that at this moment, Jing Er's body in his arms was trembling slightly. He knew what Jing Er was thinking about - the difficulty of the operation meant the danger it posed, and the higher the difficulty, the greater the danger. The price of this danger could be the loss of life. However, if he didn't undergo the operation, it would mean that his symptoms of brain hemispheric disconnection couldn't be alleviated.

  At the Brain Institute in America, using the most advanced brain detection equipment, they had discovered that there were several important bioelectric currents between his left and right brains that were interrupted irregularly. Several main neurotransmitters couldn't communicate properly, confirming that an old injury had caused a variation in the corpus callosum, leading to abnormal connections in the central nervous system.

  Even the brain specialists who examined him believed that he had been born with a problem or had suffered a head injury while still in his mother's womb. As his brain developed during puberty, his intense studying and the previous head injury had caused the corpus callosum to become increasingly fragile under the impact of massive information exchange. Eventually, due to psychological factors and external stimuli from that bout of drunkenness, part of the corpus callosum had ruptured, leading to symptoms of hemispheric disconnection.

  However, the gap between the ruptures was extremely small, and the corpus callosum still had excellent transmission functions. As a result, even slight physiological or emotional changes would cause the ruptured corpus callosum to reconnect or disconnect again. This was especially true when he was overworked or overused his brain, leading to strange symptoms of consciousness disconnection - two opposing consciousnesses would engage in an unending struggle. This was the physical reason for his schizophrenia.

  On a psychological level, however, it was because his biased and extreme perception of external things had become the psychological trigger for his condition.

  Every time I get to the depths of night, my head will ache and crack, often having nightmares, in which I will say nonsense. Jing'er would give me a massage whenever I fell ill, talking to me while I was asleep, and strangely, as long as I heard Jing'er's gentle voice, as long as Jing'er's gentle fingers massaged my temples, I would calm down. However, Jing'er had never slept well, she only dared to rest during the day, after several months of this, Jing'er's body quickly weakened. Now that I have solved my psychological problems, but if I don't treat my physical illness, my split personality will not be cured and Jing'er will definitely be dragged down by me. Even an expert said that if I don't undergo surgery soon, it may turn into a malignant brain tumor!

  The big mountain's driving skills were excellent and soon caught up with the convoy, which was moving steadily forward. The car was filled with the sound of this song "How am I"

  The song "Supposed" (I couldn't survive without you), Jing Er fell asleep unknowingly in this beautiful melody.

  After returning to Hong Kong from Latin America, Lung Por sought out the two lawyers who had witnessed Chin Lao's will and formally made his own. In it, he wrote: For us as self-centered individuals, we always put our own interests first in making decisions, thinking that things under our control or soon to be under our control are forever ours. However, this has led us astray from the true meaning of existence. We have lost ourselves in our imagined world and become crazy and disoriented. In reality, we were wrong; we sacrificed the freedom of our spirits for the sake of controlling 16K?? novels... first published while losing possession. We lost possession because we wanted to own it. Nothing in this world, including life itself, belongs to us forever. Due to our shallowness and ignorance, the world around us has become disordered and chaotic. We should not consider individual satisfaction as happiness nor individual loss as pain. In this world where equality and fairness are still far away, all the hardships that have arisen from our countless bodies are a sad testament to humanity's selfishness. This sadness is our collective curse.

  The human body is fragile, and death is the inevitable end of this fragile body. In order to prevent such accidental death or because of my personal physical illness, I am unable to make full use of the assets under the name authorized by Mr. Qian Zhengsheng, I hereby dispose of the said assets as follows:

  I shall entrust the direct leadership of the Custodian Center to Mr. Goodrich and Mr. Wang Hui-sheng (Chairman Wang) for joint management, with Messrs. Goodrich, Wang Hui-sheng, Kang Ting-tsang, Chang Hai-tao, Shih Wei, and Miss Su Ching-erh as life trustees.

  I will conditionally transfer the asset disposal rights of Qian Zhengsheng Asset Custody Center to WP International Charity Association Organization, and the condition is that WP International Charity Association Organization must obtain the consent of more than two-thirds of the lifelong directors of the Custody Center for any expenditure involving more than $200 million. Under the leadership of Mr. Goodrich, this organization has been engaged in international charity work, striving to eliminate the phenomenon of unequal human destiny and has achieved considerable results. I believe they can make better use of these assets.

  Three: I will donate all the collections given by Mr. Qian Zhengsheng to the National Museum.

  Four: I unconditionally donate all assets under my name to WP International Charity Association.

  I bequeath all of my body organs after death for transplantation or scientific research without charge.

  ……

  The above decision shall take effect after my death or when I am unable to normally perform my leadership duties due to physical reasons or post-operative reasons, as jointly determined by brain specialists, psychological experts and legal experts.

  After Long Bo finished this most confidential matter, he gathered the general managers of the investment company together again and announced that he would undergo brain surgery and handed over some details of investment management. Then Long Bo went to the world's best neurosurgery hospital.

  Longbiao had already shaved his head, including his eyebrows and beard. Shi Wei couldn't help but want to laugh as he looked at him, but he didn't dare to, because in two days Longbiao was going to have surgery, and who knows what might happen if something went wrong during the operation, it could be a matter of life and death. But he also didn't dare to think about it, because if he did, his heart would become worried, flustered and fearful.

  Long Bao was quite open and said to Shi Wei: "Third brother, don't you think that my current appearance is different from when I was a monk? Without eyebrows and beard, I look more like an egg, haha! If you want to laugh, just laugh, looking at your suffocating expression, are you uncomfortable?"

  "No, no," Shi Wei laughed dryly and explained, "I just think you're fine, but suddenly saying you want to have surgery seems a bit sudden. Did the doctors say something too serious?" At this time, Hai Tao also walked over and said: "Lao Liu, can't you not do this surgery? The risk is too high! I don't want you to take this risk."

  Long Bao didn't explain his illness in detail, but just smiled and said: "When the time comes, don't worry, it's okay."

  Long Bao continued: "This operation is a must, I'm 27 now, if I don't do it, it will really turn into a malignant brain tumor, and by then I'll be dead before the age of 30, haha, right? The experts here said they've done many successful surgeries like this before, no problem, haha, I still have to live well and do more things!"

  Haitao furrowed his brow, and the atmosphere suddenly became solemn. Jing'er sat in front of Longbiao's sickbed, quietly holding his hand, and Longbiao felt Jing'er's hand trembling slightly.

  This is the afternoon before surgery, in order to ensure that thoughts and emotions do not affect various physiological indicators, Long Bao will be isolated for 12 hours of rest. At this moment, Long Bao is saying goodbye to everyone before the operation.

  Shi Wei was the first to walk up and shook Long Bao's hand, saying: "Old Six, I'll wait for your successful surgery and we can have a few drinks together, haha."

  "Alright, Third Brother," Long Bao said with a big smile on his face. Shi Wei also forced a smile and said, "Right, Old Six, just now Du Ci called to say that the leopard has been calling non-stop, don't forget it's also waiting for your triumphant return."

  "Leopards are getting old," said Long Bao, "it's already sixteen or seventeen years old this year, and from now on it will be handed over to you for feeding."

  Haitao grasped Longbiao's hand and said firmly, "Old Six, good fortune comes from heaven, we brothers are all waiting for your successful surgery!"

  Long Bao had wanted to chat and laugh with Hai Tao, but he suddenly felt that he couldn't say the words that he had already thought of in his heart. He unconsciously looked at Jing Er beside him. Jing Er's face was exceptionally pale. In order to ensure Long Bao had a sufficient supply of this rare blood during the operation, she had extracted 1500 milliliters of her own blood and stored it in the hospital over the past few days. As a result, her body became even weaker. Jing Er gave Long Bao a sweet smile, then said to Hai Tao: "Everyone can rest assured, this operation will not have any problems."

  The doctor began to prepare for the general anesthesia on Longbiao, but suddenly a bad feeling crept over him. The long-forgotten fear rushed towards him like a poisonous snake. He immediately asked the doctor to stop the anesthesia injection temporarily. He really wanted his family members, Shi Wei and others, to come in and stand by his side, watching as he underwent the surgery.

  The anesthesiologist knew the patient's psychology before surgery, so he said: "Mr. Longbiao, please rest assured that our surgical level is world-class...". The doctor also comforted him with many warm words, but Longbiao didn't listen to a single sentence. He felt like a child, constantly questioning himself: Are people really afraid of death? Afraid of losing? Even if there are surgical accidents or unsuccessful sequelae, what's the big deal?

  After a long time, he closed his eyes quietly and said to the doctor: "Someone asked Aristotle: What's the difference between you and others? Aristotle replied: They live to eat, but I eat to live. Doctor, please begin."

  The needle was inserted into the spine, and numbness gradually spread throughout his body. Long Biao's consciousness gradually became blurred, and past events flashed through his mind like a reversed video tape, scene by scene. Gradually, he lost all sense of existence.

  The chief surgeon has already marked a craniotomy position on Long Bao's skull, and the latest laser drill is also ready. The doctor operates the drill to aim at that position and starts drilling!

  While Jing'er was using the method her grandfather had taught her to calculate with her fingers, she felt uneasy in her heart. Longbiao had told her not to believe in those mysterious arts anymore, and if she believed in them, then she must also believe that this world has spirits. Longbiao always said that this world does not have spirits, and there is no mysterious art that cannot be explained by science, but was all of this really true?

  Jing'er couldn't answer this question, and sometimes she even felt that Longbiao was saying these words to comfort her. She couldn't lose him, and she couldn't live without him in her life. She knew that Longbiao was the same as her, they had already melted together inseparably. The reason why she repeatedly divined Longbiao's lifespan and the success or failure of this surgery was all because of her inner tension and concern. However, at this moment, Jing'er had long forgotten the most important point of divination - "not to ask again".

  The rain is falling gently, I am flying in this gentle rain, the rainwater wraps me up, and I couldn't help but wonder why my flight has no weight? Why can a mortal like me fly in this gentle rain without wings in this dull and gloomy sky?

  I flew and flew, flying to all the places I've been. I flew and flew, flying over all the lands I've stayed. I flew and flew, bringing back all the years I've experienced, meeting all the people I've met before, reuniting with the spaces I once occupied, and letting go of the fleeting time. In this aimless flight, I flapped my wings, looking back with nostalgic gaze.

  Grandpa had Dad, Dad married Mom, Mom gave birth to older brother, and then I was born. Later on, older brother died, Dad died, Mom died, leaving only Grandpa and me dependent on each other, living together on Bear Mountain with my little dog Leopard. I know that Dad's name is Long Xing, Mom's name is Wen Yan, and older brother's name is Long Quan. Actually, what they looked like, I really don't remember, I only know that I have a photo, but now the photo isn't on me.

  But suddenly!

  Mom!!!

  I see it! I see it! That benevolent gaze, that warm embrace, that beautiful smile, is my mother, is my mom, is the completely unforgettable face of my mom. She's right in front of me, waiting for me, opening her arms to welcome me back home!

  Dad! Haha, Dad is also standing beside Mom, he's smiling at me, looks like I'm a bit taller than Dad.

  That's right, the little boy holding his father's hand is my brother, it's my brother who left us too early in Zijiang River. It's great that Grandpa Qi is also sitting there smoking a dry cigarette, and Grandpa Qi's dry cigarette is still so strong. I remember that in the past, I always felt uncomfortable when I was choked by smoke, but as soon as Grandpa Qi heard me coughing, he would knock off the unfinished cigarette from the pipe, of course, I also tried my best not to cough.

  I love them, I love Dad, I love Mom, I love brother, I love Grandpa Qi, they are the ones who love me most.

  I rushed towards them with excitement, I was running, no, I was flying, and while flying, I shouted wildly in my mouth: "I'm back, I'm back, I'm back......!"

  Mom's arms are so warm, Dad's shoulders are so strong, Grandpa Qi's palms are so rough, Brother's body, hehe, and the milk fragrance left by Mom!

  Xiongshan, Xiongshan is my hometown. But now Xiongshan is no longer the Xiongshan where we relied on each other for survival. In flight, I see that it is clearly rugged and uneven, with scars of vicissitudes all over the mountains and fields. It is said that a long, long time ago, this was originally a primitive forest, with ancient trees reaching the sky, full of strange flowers and grasses, countless birds and beasts playing among them. Later, there were two-legged creatures that drank blood and walked on their feet, and later these people became the territory of many countries and emperors. Later, under the frenzy of surpassing Britain and America and smelting steel, the big trees disappeared, and the wild beasts almost went extinct. And because of the gold mining incident, my fellow villagers personally built the current Xiongshan.

  Grandpa Qi raised me in Xiongshan after I became an orphan, and I couldn't remember his appearance anymore. All I remembered was that he lay in bed for some days, wanting to commit suicide so as not to be a burden on my education, but I wouldn't let him. Later, he made a poisonous medicine from the herbs I picked and left this world amidst my cries and tears, joining my parents and brother in the underworld. From then on, I lived alone, thinking of them quietly and mournfully every lonely night.

  At this moment, I am standing beside them, but I remember that they were clearly sleeping in Xiongshan, and their homes were safely buried under the land of Xiongshan. I also remember that in my anger, I completely sealed off their homes to protect them, not allowing anyone else to disturb their peace or defile their spirits with filthy things.

  Villagers don't need me anymore, so I'll leave. Xiongshan is actually already ruined, Jing'er told Shiwei that the gold mine incident and some of my actions have completely destroyed and changed the feng shui of Xiongshan. I don't believe in these superstitious things, just like I no longer believe in curses.

  The breeze is gentle, the clouds are light, I am flying in the clouds and wind, all around me are colors that cannot be named, I only know that daylight is ending, dusk has arrived, at the horizon where the sky meets the sea, a fantasy world is growing before my eyes. My whole body can't feel the sensation of being whole, but I feel this fantasy world is like my life, and now it's being reflected back to me.

  I may be in this world, where I reunited with my beating heart, saw the elderly relatives who are deeply etched in my mind, and entwined them, wanting to talk to them, I want to chat.

  My grandfather's wise forehead was always full of life's vicissitudes, and his eyes showed endless care for me. I rushed into my grandfather's thin arms, and he hugged me and said, "Child, I have nothing." But I told Grandpa, "Grandpa, I have you." So Grandpa held me tight, and I also held him tight, we hugged each other tightly, and Grandpa's tears fell on my face. I easily realized from Grandpa's turbid tears that there was wisdom here.

  Qian Lao, looking at me, he was in the sky among the clouds, watching me. I flew up to him with shame. He smiled and laughed loudly, saying: "My good grandson, you have done well, Tian Yu Li Heng, Tian Yu Li Heng!"

  I gathered my non-existent wings, hung my head in shame and felt a twinge of guilt: "Grandfather Qian, I failed to unite your family well, damaged your posthumous reputation, and let you be shamed by us younger generations." But Grandfather Qian burst out laughing, pulled over Director Xue and Director Jin, and laughed loudly as he said: "Kids, look at him, he looks just like a three-year-old boy, his face is even red! Guo Wei, Kuang Ning, can you believe that such an innocent kid is actually the commander of a trillion-dollar asset?"

  Simply complex, complex simple. I remember this was something Grandpa Qian once said to me. So I said to Grandpa Qian, who was surrounded by mist and clouds: "Simple is complex, complex is simple." Grandpa Qian patted my head, smiling warmly: "When you're not back, everything is complicated; when you're back, everything becomes simple."

  I recall those past events and shed tears, because at this moment, Director Xue, who was staring at me, let out a deep sigh: "It turns out that life can't withstand memories."

  Yes, life cannot bear memories. Clouds and fog are spreading the classic beauty in the sky, and between every drop of fog and every strand of cloud, ancient notes are jumping vividly.

  I recall having many people's sincere friendship, but I always didn't know how to cherish it. I built a closed and isolated wall for myself on the wrong path, thinking that I was a lone star in the sky. In such memories, I couldn't bear the guilt of past events.

  I recall being revered by many, yet I continually manufactured and exploited their awe for me, for the sake of power, liberation, and inflation. I stood high above, ridiculing or looking down on those who didn't understand my thoughts; I had a thorough grasp of theirs, but was utterly ignorant of myself.

  I recall having countless enemies, and now that I think back on it, my foes were truly numerous, but hardly any of them met a good end. Many participants were led to death by me. But thinking about it honestly, one could even say that these enemies were just the manifestation of my own violent outbursts.

  I was ignorant of everything, and naturally I couldn't bear the guilt, couldn't bear the memories with regret and guilt. These memories organized together became what is called life.

  But is this really life? I don't want a life like this. I may not fully understand why I've taken this path, but there's no doubt that it's the one I'm on.

  I saw the monk in that deep mountain temple, and he was smiling at me. He said I just wanted to figure out why this is the case, so I planned to become a monk, without self or desire, striving to find a passable explanation for myself, life, and living in that pure realm.

  The old monk was talking nonsense about Zen, saying that in three years he wouldn't be able to out-talk Jing'er and me. He couldn't help but laugh loudly, so he started playing a game of reversing the order with me.

  My deceased loved ones and friends are smiling at me from among the clouds and wind, beckoning to me, but I cannot stop my momentum of flight. I lightly soar forward, birds following behind me, dancing their flying steps. This momentum has an unknown power, propelling me forward. I have no weight, nor can I exert any strength. Sometimes the wind forms invisible whirlpools, and I spin around within them, but ultimately I always break free from the whirlpool's entanglement. I continue to fly forward, ahead of me lies both light and darkness. Suddenly, I feel that this is a bit like life.

  Some people say that life is just a combination of many coincidences, I think his words are quite funny, my reason is that life doesn't seem like the mathematical concept he explained; Jing Er's grandfather is a master of mysticism, what he says is always mysterious and his predictions are stunning, but he also told Jing Er that life is not predetermined, he was very strict with me, I even knew that he didn't want me to be with Jing Er, but he couldn't do anything about it, because he is who he is, Jing Er is Jing Er, he can't change this fate, instead, I burned his lifelong efforts into ashes, I don't know if he had anticipated this outcome, in short, I think there shouldn't be gods in this world, because they have no reason to manage every person's life, even down to our every thought, they wouldn't have so much free time.

  The sky revealed a mysterious face, this face was profound and unfathomable, it wasn't the appearance of someone I knew, yet it resembled all the people I had ever seen.

  Shi Wei and Hai Tao would sometimes argue that personality determines fate, consciousness determines personality, and environment determines life. They are my good friends, but not my confidants, they don't understand me, yet love me. What they say makes sense, but it's also not very sufficient, because they can't explain the coincidences and necessities of life either, just like how I met them, how I met Qian Lao, how I fell in love with Jing Er, and all those absurd stories that happened between me and so many girls.

  Jing'er, Jing'er. Jing'er is my love.

  When it comes to love, I'm really not very understanding. My love stories are now truly laughable and tearful, and as soon as I recall them, countless unbearable things will emerge. If I still don't understand love, then I won't be able to bear it. If I still don't understand the truth of life, then I won't be able to bear it. If I still haven't found my own heart, then I won't be able to bear it. I won't be able to bear those memories that bring a lot of sadness to others, and all the words and actions in those memories are deeply hurtful to them.

  These past events that reappear on my journey today, the old friends I meet again, are actually what I deeply long for and cannot resist.

  I'm flying, and I seem to see Jing'er by my side accompanying me. No, no, that's not right, I can't see her anymore. I just feel like Jing'er is by my side accompanying me. She's looking at me with warmth from a distance I don't know how far or near. She tells me everyone is doing well, Shi Weihai is good, Qiu Ya is good, Xue Bingying is good, even Jiao Siwei is good.

  The vast universe burst into loud laughter, the sound shaking through the universe: Heaven and hell, only heaven and hell, what curse is there? My flight was stunned by this huge laughter! I saw all objects jumping into a crazy dance, the rhythm of this dance suddenly overturned the bewildered thoughts, and all sparks shot out from then on.

  A spark exploded in front of my chest, blasting open skin and flesh, yet no red blood flowed out. Perhaps this blood was originally colorless.

  Is there heaven? Is there hell? Is there a curse?

  I pose a thousand questions to myself, my soul swirling in the cosmic laughter. Suddenly I completely discover that I am ultimately extremely disgusted with hell, I am ultimately yearning for heaven, and I am ultimately deeply thinking about curses.

  This world is like that, hell and heaven are forever inseparable, interdependent and coexisting. I always hope that in my life, my friends' lives, and the lives of people in this world, there will be more happiness from heaven and less sorrow from hell. In hell, there is a ruthless and merciless cold wind, the black and white impermanence that once entangled me, a split brain, cut nerves, and my fragile soul was once in such a hell. Hell is mine, I dressed up my world to resemble hell, and thus everything else naturally became a real hell.

  What is hell? Curses are hell, oneself is hell, so curses are oneself, oneself is curses. Yes, because I have **, so I have curses, and I became the hell that awaits my own death.

  What is heaven? The curse is heaven, oneself is heaven. Only when one sees through the truth and sees through one's own mind can one become a truly living heaven, without waiting for the so-called holy son or holy spirit to come and guide them.

  I understand, haha, actually I understood long ago, it's just that I didn't realize.

  The enemy is at the gate.

  Shi Wei suddenly burst into tears, and Hai Tao's face turned iron-gray as he stared rigidly at the white wall outside the operating room. Jing Er had already changed into a white coat and stood stupidly in the operating room, watching those world-renowned brain specialists bustling about.

  An accident occurred during the operation, Long Biao stopped breathing, and his heartbeat had dropped to only five beats per minute.

  The rescue efforts are ongoing, Jing'er is murmuring to herself in a voice that only she can hear: "It's okay, it's okay, Grandpa said so, it's okay, it's okay."

  A magnificent river appeared before my eyes, flowing on the summit of a mountain peak, sometimes visible and sometimes hidden, with splashing waves like the tears of girls, shining and suspended lightly yet heavily beside me. I looked closely and saw many strange images on its surface, even smelling the salty taste of the waves, just like the taste of tears. Is it really a river formed by the gathering of tears? Otherwise, how could it rush on the top of the mountain range?

  The sun, the moon, the stars, and the omnipresent wind and clouds, in a kaleidoscope of colors, shining brightly in this vast expanse of emptiness. Among these radiant bodies, I distinctly hear some faint sounds approaching me, like the ancient, sonorous chanting of Buddhist scriptures, yet also like a familiar call that is most intimate to me. I want to respond, but I am unable to utter a sound.

  As I twisted my neck trying to look for it, I suddenly found that everything was gone, the light, the sound, even the pure void had parted with me, and I became an infant without any weight or feeling.

  Involuntarily, I trembled with fear and suddenly asked myself: Is this what is meant by the Terminator's judgment? Have I already placed myself on an altar of unknown origin and destination?

  Chaos, yes, everything is in chaos now, I can't see anything anymore, but I can clearly imagine that on this altar the infant is enjoying his long-awaited solemn glory!

  Several experts were whispering to each other in extremely low voices, all the tricks had been used, but this young and handsome rich man did not have any reaction, only his brain waves seemed a bit strange.

  The heartbeat has slowed down to once a minute, sometimes it's already a straight line, but then suddenly jumps again.

  Jing'er knelt on the ground, her hands clasped together in a prayer-like gesture, her eyes closed. She was using all her might and concentration to call out to that person's soul, imploring it to return.

  Soul, come back, come back!

  The experts conferred in hushed tones, then re-sutured Longbiao's head. The elderly expert in his sixties walked up to Jing'er and said with a heavy tone: "Miss Su, you need to be mentally prepared. Mr. Long's current condition may be beyond our expectations. We successfully connected the fractured nerve tissue, but..."

  "But what?" Jing'er said with difficulty, her voice trembling. "Is it not enough blood? It's okay, I can still give him some... if he wants... he can take it all..."

  "Miss Su, we're not yet clear which link didn't match his physical condition. Let me put it bluntly," said the old expert, his eyes unusually serious under his glasses. He placed a hand on Jing'er's shoulder, as if to offer some comfort. "Your loved one... may possibly... become a vegetable..."

  Jing'er's whole body shook violently, and all her consciousness thoughts suddenly stopped at this moment!

  However, we can't be certain yet, it's possible," the old expert said with his hand on his glasses, his voice still heavy, "it's also possible that he will wake up in a few days. Now we are doing our best to maintain his vital systems, and we will organize the world's top experts as soon as possible to discuss Mr. Long's symptoms, don't worry too much, now he needs our joint efforts...

  The old expert said something else, but Jing'er couldn't hear it all. She was tearful, her eyes fixed on the motionless Long Biao and the doctors standing beside him, as well as those nameless, shiny medical instruments.

  I'm actually flying in the sky, I no longer have the concept of heaven and earth, I've even lost my sense of up and down, left and right, front and back. I'm like a little bird or a fish, carefree and relaxed, playing, flying, and wandering around.

  Everything has disappeared, including the chaos of life, and all have vanished without a trace.