Waking up, I see that the blue screen from yesterday is back—no better time than now to check it out.

  "That was only a level five monster? It almost fucking killed me! Whatever, status."

  At first glance, I'm struck by how abysmal my stats are besides INT and RES. The majority of my stats are two. I've played enough games to know that a two isn't good. Focusing my eyes on the stats brings up a different screen with explanations.

  Okay, so I recognize and understand most of these from video games, DnD, or novels I had read. Aura is the only term confusing to me. I try to focus on it, and a new screen appears.

  Swiping away from that screen, I look at my status and focus on the resources.

  "Well, that math is easy enough to follow. So humans have a base health of 100, and my status tells me what I already knew; I'm out of shape and below average in all things physical. I'm also level four, so I guess I started at level 1? Well, better distribute those stat points."

  Talking to myself has always been a thing I've done since I was a child. It helps me stay focused and organize my tasks. As I got older, it became podcasts and internet streams. It comes down to fighting off the feeling of loneliness. I get in my head too much, and the silence becomes deafening.

  "Focus, Greg, focus on the stats.”

  Pulling open my status again, I see that I have 24 points to use. That feels like a lot, but I'm not complaining. Magic is a thing, and it looks like I might have a predisposition to it. I think that a class will probably be how I get spells. It's tempting to dump my points into intelligence and resolve, but I almost died to a level five bug, so I have to play it more intelligent. I put the stat points in and hit accept.

  "Huh, don't feel all that different. Honestly expected something to happen or change. ARGHHHHHHHH!"

  My body starts spasming. My head feels like a sledgehammer is attacking me and the sounds of my bones creaking and skin tearing are deafening. Pressure is building behind my eyes and I blackout from the agony.

  When I finally wake up, my body is stiff and tight from sleeping on the floor again. Another fantastic blue screen crowds my vision.

  "Well, that warning could have come before I fucking did it. That would have helped."

  Taking a peep at my status shows a more well-rounded tale than before.

  I do feel slightly different from before. If you look at it mathematically, I'm twice as strong and fast as I was previously. Unfortunately, my body still looks the same as it did. Still overweight and pale but now covered in dirt. I reach around to feel my back and notice the bubbling and rawness is gone. I can't feel any remnants of the burn, not even any pain—finally, some good news. I'm guessing either leveling up heals you or tripling my Vitality and increasing my Constitution was the cause. Either way, I feel renewed and ready to take on this dungeon after eating something. I chow down on a granola bar and wash it down with some water. I reach for my shovel and remember what happened yesterday. Pour one out for the shovel; I will remember its noble sacrifice.

  I look around the shed for a weapon, and then I remember the hedge clippers in the backpack. I grab them and get ready for my next outing. Feeling confident and prepared, I head out for my next adventure.