12
The intrepid heroes, after a quick siesta,
And fiesta, travel to old barn McDonald's
No time to marvel at the farm's flora/ fauna
They use Duff's spare keys, to whom McDonald farm willed
As his rightful heir and successor. Duff don't care
About the farm though. The tavern's his rightful lair.
"All right," Thor says, reading the sacred chalk drawn glyphs
On the inside of the barnhouse walls. Mockingbird burps.
"Silence," Thor thunders, "can't make a single mistake."
"Yeah, quiet," says the Bird, "or you'll get the damn herps!"
"First the sacrifice," Thor says, hidden pockets provide
He magicks a fire, exactly ten square feet wide
"Oranges and lemons for Saint Clement's" he chants,
"Five farthings for the bells of Saint Martin's," he rants.
"Eh?" says Mocking Bird in glee,"did you say farting?
If I could do that, I'd make the sea a parting!"
"Demon bird," Thor hisses, "just be quiet and still
Or I'll roast you with parsley, sage, rosemary and dill!"
Thor throws in the fire his various offerings
While Mocking Bird mutters his vulgar proferrings
Thor dances around the fire, "ringa ringa Rosie,"
He then falls down and begins the final sacred chant
Thunder roars with his splendid syllables, "Ee Ai Ee Ai..."
Mocking Bird completes the magical ritual, "Uh Oh!"
13
The Yggdrasil is summoned! Its branches swallow
The adventurers like a matador's "Toro".
Their destination reset by the bird's outburst
They disembark far away from Valhalla! "Curst
Curst curst curst demon bird!" growls Thor, spitting out sand,
"Look where you've brought us, this vile and deserted land.
(When we reach there, S?hrímnir's food you'll share)"
From this scene let us move to one quite contrary
And witness the happenings of Anna and Mary!
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
----fade out---
----fade in ---
Scene: A colourful Parthenon, surrounded by
Arguing philosophers and yellow brick roads
Beautiful princesses and existential toads
Dueling dualists and material reductionists
Platonic caves filled with luminosity inherent
By stony induction. "Welcome to Utopia!"
Mary says to a newly arrived Anna.
14
Anna recovers quickly, though her head hurts bad
From eager Mary's incessant profound chatter,
Her nurse's bedside manner, makes Anna real mad
Anna cries, "Stop, just stop! Can't bear this mind batter,
Weltanschauung, sine qua non, sensu strictos and propaedeutics, prima facie and otiose percipi!!!
If you're not going to read me the Three Musketeers
Then let's go out, I need to get off my sore derriere!"
Mary acquiesces, with one final "a fortiori!"
They set off to see Shorty, the cowboy philosopher
Rival of Demosthenes, the Demagogue whisperer
"Shorty knows everything about...oh, everything,"
Mary explains, "He'll tell you why we're here better."
They pass by Merlin, a greybeard on a young face
Who lifts his pointy hat, with grace, finesse and zing
They nod their heads to his very polite howdedo.
Anna is quite fascinated, watching the passersby
She stops to watch Plato argue with Thoreau,
She could watch this forever she thinks... Until
She sees nude Nietzsche playing the didgeridoo
15
Cowboy philosopher Shorty
Greets them with a drawled, 'how-de-do'
Mary responds quite politely
But Anna is still haunted by Nietzsche's didgeridoo
"So you want to know whereabouts here is,"
Shorty says, after tea and lemon tarts
"Not a simple question, worth a treatise,
But I'll put it simply, lest I stop your hearts
We first thought it was heaven, when we arrived
Melange of different ages and amazing minds
But then Nietzsche came, and so we then divined
Menage neither heaven nor hell, a space outside time
Where the laws of the universe sometimes go on break
And we've even got an overly pink candy floss lake"
"So, why are we here?" asks Mary.
"Profound question,"Shorty replies,
"The answer could be twenty three
Sent here for a purpose, you were
Just what it is, I'm not sure
Perhaps you'll find an answer in China Town."
16
"China Town!" said Anna, "that's near my house
Back to Liverpool, My own home sweet home
Where nude men don't keep staring at my blouse"
"Ignore the naked man and his syndrome,"
Said Shorty the fastest mind in the West
"His mind is taken up by too much gloam
He stares at people, puts them to the test
Tries to save all from the abyssal dome
Nietzsche's brilliant but his mind's now a mess
Leave him be and enjoy the scenery
Remember your goal and do not digress
China Town's not in Liverpool deary"
Mary then said, "tell us where we must go
Give us a map before you grow weary"
Shorty marked a path for them to follow
On a map of space-time he gave to them
"This will avoid places of Death's shadow
Where I lost my true love, my darling Clem"
They took the map and then said their goodbyes
They bade farewell to Utopian skies
