A Short Story from Existential Fred
Fred woke up feeling warm, safe, and—for o peace.
Ben’s arms were ed around him, his body pressed fortably against Fred’s back. His breath was slow, steady, warm against the nape of Fred’s neck.
For a rare, fleeting moment, Fred fot his life was a waking nightmare.
Then he heard it.
A wet, stioise.
Fred opened his eyes.
And immediately regretted it.
Feye-Do was on the ceiling. Lig it.
The massive floating eyeball with far too mah ressed against the pster, sthering it in translut eic saliva.
Fred groaned into his pillow.
Ben, still half-asleep, tightened his arms around him.
“Mm,” Ben murmured, nuzzling against his shoulder. “Stay in bed a little longer.”
Fred sighed.
Feye-Do made a deep, satisfied slurping sound.
Fred shut his eyes again.
Ben’s warmth was more important than the horror dreng his ceiling.
Fred managed about six more minutes of retive peace before the bathroom mirror flickered.
The air vibrated.
The room darkened.
And then—
A deep, world-ending voice rumbled through the apartment.
"FREDERICK DAMIAN RIBEAUT."
Fred did not react.
The mirror swirled, bck smoke curling outward as the gss trembled.
The apartment walls hummed like they were barely taining a ic force.
Ben, now fully awake, lifted his head. “Bathroom ghost?”
Fred sighed. “Worse.”
Ben squi the mirror. “...Kargh?”
The smoke burst into fme.
KALARGH, THE ETERNAL SCE OF WORLDS materialized, his burning eyes searing through the refle. His scarlet, armored hide gleamed like a molte, his twied tails flig behind him.
His massive, cwed hands gripped the edges of the mirror, as if holding back a ic explosion.
Reality itself trembled.
"I SUMMON YOU TO SANGUINIS IV."
Fred, still in bed:
"No."
KALARGH glitched.
"WHAT?"
Fred rolled over, dragging the b over his head.
“You heard me.”
KALARGH bristled. The walls creaked uhe weight of his barely-tained fury.
"YOU DARE REFUSE MY SUMMONS?"
Fred sighed, sitting up.
"Kargh. It’s six in the goddamn m."
Ben g the clock. “Actually, it’s—”
Fred held up a finger. “Don’t."
Ben closed his mouth.
KALARGH seethed.
"SANGUINIS IV IS PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL. REFUSAL IS NOT AN OPTION."
Fred rubbed his temples. “Okay, but why?”
KALARGH paused.
Fred squinted.
“…Do you just want pany?”
KALARGH did not answer.
Fred and Ben both stared.
“…Oh my god,” Fred muttered.
KALARGH’s glowing eyes narrowed.
Fred exhaled through his nose, rubbed his face, and stood up. “Fine. Give me five minutes."
KALARGH grinned, his teeth like splitting stars.
"EXCELLENT."
The mirror shattered inward.
Fred vanished.
The first thing Fred noticed upon arrival was the sky.
It was red.
Not the kind of red you get at su.
Not even the kind of red you see in fires.
It was the deep, pulsing, arterial red of something still bleeding.
And the clouds?
They dripped.
Fred exhaled through his nose. “Of course they do.”
The ground was soft beh his feet. Wet. Saturated.
He did not iigate further.
The air smelled like rust, like something a still exhaling its st breath.
Yet, somehow, it was quiet.
Fred paused.
For the first time in a long time, he felt… alone.
No whispers. No shiftiies lurking in the ers of his vision.
Just silence.
And then the ting began.
Fred turned.
A sea of Sangoree had gathered.
Bipedal lizardfolk, scales dark with dried blood, eyes gleaming with unwavering reverence.
They dropped to their knees in perfeison.
And ted.
"INPREHENSIBLE FRED, TRUE FIDANT OF KALARGH!"
Fred sighed.
The wenty minutes were a disaster.
A Sangoree offered their firstborn to Fred.Anifted him a crystallized branch from the Blood Tree.The Chief of the Sangoree pledged eternal loyalty.His wife smiled at Fred.She was blushing.
Fred internally screamed.
KALARGH, watg all of this, found it amusing.
Fred, still panig: “Please tell me I did not just get proposed to.”
KALARGH did not crify.
The Chief beamed.
Fred rubbed his temples.
Eventually, KALARGH shoos the Sangoree away with vague threats of child-eating.
The two settle in fame of Texas Hold ‘Em.
Fred, halfway through his first hand, realizes something horrifying.
KALARGH is really good at poker.
Like, absurdly good.
Fred squints at him. “Are you ting cards?”
KALARGH does not answer.
Fred looks at his hand. Terrible.
He looks at KALARGH. Unreadable. (Because he always looks murderous.)
He looks at the Sangoree watg in awe, whispering amongst themselves.
One of them is taking notes.
Fred sighs.
“I hate everything about this.”
KALARGH pced his bet.
The Sangasped.
Fred pced his bet.
The Sangoree fell silent.
A scribe, hunched over a massive stoablet, carefully etched something into history.
Fred narrowed his eyes.
“…Did I just wager my soul?”
The scribe did not answer.
Fred looked at KALARGH. KALARGH did not blink.
Fred exhaled slowly and leaned ba his chair.
Fine. Deal.
The four hands were painful.
Fred lost the first. Badly.
The Sangoree burst into a fervor, ting what Fred was certain was a funeral dirge.
He won the sed hand.
The Sangoree colpsed to their knees in religious awe.
KALARGH grinned.
Fred did not trust that grin.
Ohird hand, KALARGH barely g his cards before pg an absurdly high bet.
Fred squinted.
He didn’t know KALARGH well enough to pick up on physical tells. His face was always menag. His posture was always aggressive. His voice was always a booming procmation of iable destru.
Fred looked at his own hand. Mediocre.
But.
KALARGH had overitted.
Fred saw it now.
He thinks I’m pying scared.
Fred took a slow breath.
If he pyed it safe, he’d eventually lose.
If he didn’t bet big, KALARGH would never overextend.
Fred gnced around at the silent, awestruck Sangoree.
They were waiting. Watg.
A whole-ass civilization held its breath over this poker match.
Fred ched his jaw.
Fine.
Time for reckless bullshit.
He pushed all his chips forward.
“All in.”
The Sangoree erupted.
The scribe frantically chiseled something into the stone sb.
KALARGH’s burning gaze locked onto Fred.
The weight of gaxies crashing together pressed against him.
Fred did not blink.
KALARGH’s massive cwed hand hovered over his chips.
A long silence.
Then—
"VERY WELL."
He shoved all his chips in.
The Sangoree lost their collective minds.
Fred exhaled slowly.
“Cards oable.”
KALARGH’s massive cws flipped his hand over.
A king and a ten.
Fred’s stomach dropped.
He flipped his own.
A king and a ten.
The exact same hand.
The Sangoree froze.
The scribe, halfway through chiseling ary into their holy texts, faltered.
Fred and KALARGH stared at the cards.
Fred felt his soul leave his body.
“…Are you fug kidding me?”
The Sangoree broke into fused, frantic murmuring.
The scribe looked to KALARGH fuidance.
KALARGH, scowling, crossed his massive arms.
"THE TERMS OF THE GAME DICTATE THAT A MATCHED HAS IN VOIDED BETS."
Fred blinked.
“So… you mean…?”
"WE ARE AT A STALEMATE."
Fred stared at the cards.
Then at KALARGH.
Then at the entire crowd of lizard people who had just withis ic-level disappoi.
Fred exhaled.
“Cool. So, I go home now?”
KALARGH’s eyes burned.
"YES. BUT THIS IS NOT OVER."
Fred rubbed his face. “Yeah, yeah. Sure.”
Before KALARGH could respond, Fred vanished in a bze of red light.
Ba Portnd – 3:42 AMFred reappeared in his apartment.
Ben, sitting on the cou pajama pants and a hoodie, looked up.
“Hey, you’re back.”
Fred, dropping onto the couch face-first: “Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh.”
Ben raised an eyebrow. “That bad?”
Fred rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling.
“…I think I narrowly escaped losing a pame for my soul.”
Ben tilted his head.
Fred ran a hand down his face. “Also, I might have gotten proposed to. And someone offered me their firstborn.”
Ben blinked.
Then shrugged. “Yeah, that tracks.”
Fred groaned again.
Ben nudged him. “Tea?”
Fred sighed.
“Yeah. Tea.”
