“What the fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Frantically feeling around in the area my car used to be, I hear my voice echo unnaturally around me.

  /// DIRECT LINK FOUND. STATUS INDICATES DISTRESS. SUPPLYING COUNTER. \\\

  As the voice booms around me again I fall face first, flat on the ground. Hearing and feeling my nose break, as I become intimately aware of the ground.

  “Son of ah-”

  My words are cut off as a strange cold sensation makes its way down my spine. The pain I feel in my face immediately subsides. Reaching up to my nose I find that it is no longer broken. A wave of relief, and confusion, washes over me.

  “Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello?” I try again.

  /// LIFE SIGNS CONFIRMED. SCAN WILL COMMENCE MOMENTARILY. \\\

  Sitting up, I look at my surroundings to see if anything has changed; or at least where the source of that damned voice is coming from. Nothing meets my vision as I scan the emptiness.

  /// FINAL SCANS COMPLETE. TIER 1 SOUL DETECTED \\\

  “Tier 1? Well that’s a little hurtful, hurtful, hurtful.”

  This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

  /// TRANSFERRING SOUL TO APPROPRIATE REALM. \\\

  /// STARTING TRANSFER IN 5… 4… 3… 2… \\\

  “Ok now wait a minute, minute, minute, minute!”

  /// TRANSFER COMPLETE. \\\

  My mouth fills with a familiar sour taste as globules of light fill my vision. White, black, blue, red, green, the colorful orbs flutter around my vision as everything I see stretches to a point impossibly far away. My ears ring as my body lurches towards the point my vision is stretching towards.

  /// STATS DISCOVERED. \\\

  STRENGTH: 9 (+1 FOR PREVIOUS OCCUPATION)

  LIFEFORCE: 9 (+1 FOR PREVIOUS OCCUPATION)

  AGILITY: 8 (NO BONUSES FOUND)

  LOGIC: 8 (NO BONUSES FOUND)

  SPIRIT: 8 (NO BONUSES FOUND)

  SOUL: 10 (+2 FOR BASE PERSONALITY)

  LUCK: 7 (-1 FOR U???N???K????N????O????W???N?????)

  /// ATTRIBUTES DISCOVERED. \\\

  HEALTH POINTS: 9/9

  ENERGY POINTS: 2/2

  STAMINA POINTS: 18/18

  /// CHARACTER ELEMENTS DISCOVERED. \\\

  CLASS: OUTSIDER (U???N???K????N????O????W???N?????)

  OCCUPATIONS: TEAMSTER (+1 TO STR / LF)

  The text scrolls across my vision as I am catapulted forwards. Spittle flies out of my mouth as the globules of color seemingly fling themselves behind me. A pinprick of light appears in the distance, growing larger by the second. I can’t help but scream in terror at the absurdity of the situation. Then, just as suddenly as it all began, the now large light subsumes me and I found myself standing in the middle of a wooded clearing.