Reposted from Jingguan Bar - Produced on a boring evening

  53. When we first arrived in the underground world, everyone was excited to see the strange and wonderful sights of this subterranean land.

  Although the underground world is quite dim, however you look at it, this plain is quite vast.

  Then everyone argued about which direction to move forward, some said this way, others said that way... quarreling in a hubbub.

  I dare say even a few thousand flies having dinner together wouldnt be as lively as this!

  Suddenly Pighead Liu let out a loud shout: Shut up, all of you! Grandmas stick, not one of you is behaving!

  Today, you Biao B, everyone else is silent.

  Pighead Liu seemed very satisfied with the authority of his words, and with a extremely vulgar gesture, he picked his nose with his right hand, pinched his waist and shouted: Let this born singer of soul, compare to the double dragon sacrifice of the Meng Wang Kingdom...

  Intelligent and majestic, prosperous and boundless, invincible in battle, unbeatable in conquest... Under the glory of the great war god... Pointing out the direction for our advance!

  My ears are ringing a bit and Im feeling dizzy and nauseous... I look at the clock, its really terrible, this pig-headed person has been talking nonsense for a full 5 minutes!

  I looked around and saw that many people had already turned pale and were foaming at the mouth, holding their phones and trembling as they started dialing 120 for emergency rescue.

  Its okay, its okay, Pig Head Liu finally woke up from his self-absorbed state at the last moment, otherwise someone would have really died.

  Pig-headed Liu spat a mouthful of saliva onto his palm and wiped it on the back of his head, saying with a stinky tone: Ill cover my eyes, spin around, and when I stop, the direction Im facing will be the direction the God of War guides us to advance!

  What a great idea! The chance to get rich has arrived!

  I immediately cleared the table, drew a circle on it, divided it into 8 directions, and shouted: "The wheel is open! See who the God of War has a crush on! Place your bets, double the odds if you win, dont miss this opportunity! The deal is done, no more chances!"

  Looking at the 8 piles of glittering gold coins that suddenly appeared on the table, I couldnt help but grin from ear to ear.

  Pig-headed Liu turned around in circles for over a dozen times and actually ended up with his butt on the ground like a vicious dog eating shit...?!

  I stared blankly at the dramatic scene in front of me... Oh no! The roulette ball jumped out! Total loss! Im bankrupt!

  "This is the hard-earned money Ive accumulated from running transportation, overtime, and bribes, all gone!"

  Im going to strangle this unlucky, ill-fated, sweep-the-floor pig to death!

  This journey has indeed broadened ones horizons.

  This vast plain is dotted with continuous low volcanoes, rivers of flowing lava, vastly different plants, and strange animals.

  Everywhere is filled with mysterious and eerie atmosphere.

  I couldnt help but marvel at the wonder of such a magnificent creation.

  This reminds me of the legendary Qin Shi Huangs underground palace in the Far Eastern continent.

  It is said that the underground palace was built by the First Emperor after he unified the nine states and subdued the four seas, using the entire countrys resources to construct a grand palace beneath the ground. It has the sun, moon, stars above, and mountains and rivers below.

  The elders of the Li ethnic group said that it gathers all the majesty of the world in one body, is blessed by heaven and protected by gods, and its grandeur is extremely majestic.

  Damn it, but that place is forbidden land, those who enter without permission will surely die. Its made me so nervous and scared that I dont dare to go either.

  However, in the rumors and legends, there were indeed people who entered the underground palace of the First Emperor and came out alive.

  The legendary four great beasts: Kangkang Monkey, Jiangjiang Sparrow, Yaoyao Duck, and Zhangzhang Wolf.

  These guys are lawless and unscrupulous, forming some kind of Birds and Beasts gang that has turned the heavenly realm into a chaotic mess, flying about with an arrogant swagger.

  Later a few guys might have gotten dizzy from fever and rushed into the Qin Shi Huangs mausoleum...

  The result was being beaten up by Deng Tianwang, and was beaten badly.

  Kangkangs monkey butt was beaten until it was as bright red as a lantern, and it remained swollen for several months, with the hair on his buttocks disappearing from then on.

  Jiang Jiang Que was beaten until his whole body was bruised, purple and black all over, and he never recovered from the shock. The child born later was also like this, so they simply changed its name to Black Chicken.

  Yao Yao duck was trampled by Deng Tianwang, his paws were flattened, his mouth was slapped, and he was frightened out of his wits... Until now, all the ducks can only make a miserable cry of Ah... Ah... Ah.

  Zhang Zhang Lang was even more miserable, being squeezed by Deng Tian Wang to be half the size of a dough ball... Zhang Zhang Lang was shortened by half and his name changed to Zhang Lang, now he spends his days mixing in the sewers.

  From then on, the four great evil beasts disappeared from the world, and the land was at peace.

  Thinking of this, I also had a chill all over my body. Hopefully there wont be any top-notch observers like Deng Tianwang around here...

  I dont dare think about what Ive become, but Liu Pighead turning into a pot of braised pork with noodles is absolutely inevitable.

  Amen...

  After traveling along the river for several days, we found a black rock floating in mid-air with a kind of glowing bird perched on it.

  Good heavens, a crow radiating golden light? Could it be the legendary Golden Crow of Three Legs?!

  This is too exciting, legend has it that a golden crow once appeared in the Far East, but was shot dead by a guy named Hou Yi.

  I have always suspected that Hou Yi was a eunuch, with a twisted mind and extreme hatred for the bird, plus Jin Wus boastful declaration of being three-legged in the sky, which finally enraged Hou Yi and led to their extinction.

  I didnt say a word and flew up into the air, catching one and carefully examining it in my hand.

  "Left leg, right leg... left leg, right leg?! Hmm?? Wheres the middle leg?" "Ive been searching back and forth but cant find the middle leg, Im getting furious!"

  I sternly asked the little bird: Arent you called Golden Crow? Where are your middle legs? How dare you impersonate others? This behavior is against the law!

  The little bird in his hand suddenly burst into loud wailing: I... I am the Golden Crow, I... I didnt impersonate anyone, but Im a mother!

  Im in big trouble! Get out of here quickly!

  Behind us we found a small village that had been raided by bandits, many little hobbits were killed... nothing to say, catch up and kill!

  At the sight of this, these thugs were more and more excited, whipping their horses wildly, making them gallop while neighing loudly... In just over an hour, we caught up with that group of bandits.

  Its really dramatic, the dark elf we thought was the murderer turned out to be a heroic swordsman who helps those in need, while the birdman became a cruel bandit.

  Zhu Tou Liu felt a bit awkward.

  The battle ended in the blink of an eye, and for the first formal battle I encountered after coming to the underground world, I didnt have a part in it, which made me somewhat unhappy.

  But I admire that dark elf kid, hes got a lot of blood and iron bones!

  I walked over, patted his shoulder and said, "Little guy, thanks for bringing back memories of a movie I watched in my childhood."

  Cui Si Te: What movie?

  I smiled and replied: Hei Xia...

  I saw a flash of passion in Cui Sis eyes.

  When Little Swan was surprised to find that these birdmen were not eagle-bodied humans, Custer smiled and explained that they were hybrid eagle-cow humans.

  Zhu Tou Liu suddenly let out a burst of bad water, and Ying Shen Ren started playing jokes with the Dao Ke tribe... Ying Dao Ren?

  Its really surprising he thought of that! If Eagleman were to mate with Fathead Fish, theyd produce Eagwhalemen!

  How disgusting! Im going to teach this shameless guy a lesson, his own offspring will probably be some kind of freak and he still dares to mock others?!

  I patted Pig Head Lius shoulder and said with a smile, "Whats the big deal about Eagle Way? Brother Liu, turn around and take another look at that beautiful snake woman as your wife. The kids she bears will be three times better than theirs!"

  Everyone was stunned after hearing it, Pig Head Liu scratched his crotch and asked in confusion: What does that mean?

  I said with a straight face: Isnt the child born to you and Glasses Snake Beauty a blind person? Three flats are not as good as one round, isnt that what you said?

  At that time, everyone admired and was impressed.

  Damn it, Pighead Liu actually chased me for two miles because of this sentence, what a freak!

  We followed Custer and several other warriors who had come to meet us back to their tribe, where we met their elder, Old Bull.

  Zhu Tou Liu immediately pulled Tang Lao Niu and started asking this and that... exploring history and looking forward to the future.

  Liu Pigheads eyes had been spinning like a wheel that couldnt stop since he saw those powerful antelope warriors, and now there was no need to mention political bribery.

  Im not interested in politics and I dont bother to get involved, I just mind my own business.

  Wow... it smells so good! It seems like I have a chance to taste the authentic underground flavor! My saliva came out with a gush.

  At this time, the little piglet ran over, humming and circling around me, with a bubble of tears in its small eyes.

  Alas, this kid... needlessly to say, under everyones watchful eyes, he was hit by Jing Yu and had his PP eaten again.

  Children cant go hungry, I think this tribe is quite big, there should be women who have given birth and can let the little pig drink milk.

  I stopped a Minotaur and asked: "Excuse me, is there... that female who can nurse around here?"

  The yak herder stared at me with wide eyes, his face full of disdain, as if saying: Wow, how old are you, still drinking milk? Dont you have any shame?

  I suddenly felt ashamed and humiliated...

  Biting back my sorrow and anger, I picked up the little piglet and said: This child is hungry and wants to drink milk, can you please find a dairy cow?

  The antelope man finally understood what was going on and immediately beamed with joy, leading me to his home, where it turned out that his own wife had just given birth and had milk to spare.

  Looking at this silly-looking cow person, I suddenly have a sense of committing a crime.

  I handed him a magazine and said, This little pig can eat a lot. Take this magazine as payment.

  The yak herder originally wanted to decline, but after taking a look at the content, his eyes widened immediately... No need to be polite, take it and take it, patted his chest with a "pa pa" sound, guaranteeing to feed the little piglet to its hearts content!

  Now I dont have to feel guilty anymore...

  Im eating and thinking, how long has it been? Why hasnt Little Piggy come back yet? Even the big elephant should be full by now.

  Just then, the little piglet rolled over, and I looked at it, almost dropping the bowl in my hand. Damn, this is too ridiculous! The four legs are all tangled up and cant even touch the ground?!

  At this time, I heard a miserable cry from the tent where they were feeding the little pig: Wife, heaven... how did your **** become a double-breasted suit?

  Oh no! Something big has happened! I threw the bowl and ran away... Hurry up and find my son Guo Guo to borrow his badge to hide!

  Surprises are often followed by troubles --- my motto.

  I was so bored that I lay on top of a tent with my head hanging down, listening to Tang Lao Niu and Zhu Tou Liu chatting nonsense together.

  The quality of this tent is really good, I patted it with a thud and felt the elasticity was just right, the tent made a very pleasant creaking sound.

  Everyone turned their heads in surprise and stared at me, with several ladies blushing...

  I chuckled and said to the dazed Tang Lao Niu, "Its okay, its okay... your tent elasticity is really good... you go on talking, go on talking."

  When I heard that Old Thief Goose had also come, and was swaggering down to negotiate with the Dark Elves, and when the negotiations collapsed, I almost cheered.

  What a big surprise!

  The old thief goose was indeed forced by Liu Pigheads dog to jump over the wall in desperation!

  Wow, negotiation? You let an American big white go to Africas Sudan, facing tens of thousands of blacks and shouting: I am the American big white, you blacks have been our slaves for a long time! You cant have a civil war, all of you must surrender to me! Try it out? Idiot! If he isnt chopped up as fertilizer, that would be strange!

  This is going to be a disaster, right? The negotiations have broken down, right? Its good that the negotiations have broken down, then well just have to fight it out. With so many dark elves below, Old Goose is probably in grave danger, right?

  At this time I will rush over as a reinforcement, the old thief goose will definitely not be on guard..... Haha, then Ill knock down Fenghuang with a single stick.

  Haha... The old traitor goose will naturally be outnumbered and heroically sacrifice the country, no big deal, just recognize him as a martyr later. My Fire Phoenix, my SM little heart... Hahaha.

  Before I could even speak, Pig-headed Liu pretended to be heroic and said he would go down to rescue the old goose thief.

  Looking at Lius expression, I think I understand what it means by hypocritical yet very sincere, despicable yet very noble.

  Wow, isnt this going to ruin a good thing for Lao Tzu?

  I sprang up at once and shouted: Its an emergency, Ill set off first! You get ready slowly!

  Unexpectedly, Little Swan suddenly dropped another bombshell... The old goose actually had two Fire Phoenixes?!

  Im dizzy... My eyes are blurry and Im drooling! The only thing in my mind is 3P... 3P... 3P...

  Heaven has been kind to me! I was almost knocked down by this sudden great happiness!

  Id better find someone to help me right away!

  With a whoosh, I darted out... Dead snake head is most suitable, just you!

  The dead snake head was on guard outside, I rushed over from behind, hugged the dead snake heads neck and said with an extremely kind expression and a gentle tone: Brother, youve been working hard these days...

  Grevin looked at me with a sneer and said: You...

  I interrupted him suddenly: Whats with you and me, were brothers now... just call me older brother

  Guren: No....

  I interrupted him again and said, Whats wrong? Are you jealous that your elder brother didnt take care of you in the past? Didnt give you face?

  Seeing my face sink, the dead snake head hurriedly waved his hand and said: No... its not...

  My face immediately turned as gentle as spring breeze, and I said intimately: Thats good... listen to me... since we are all brothers, I want to ask for your help now...

  Gerens face turned red, and to his surprise, there were tears in his eyes as he stuttered: Old brother you...

  This dead snake head is actually moved to such an extent? Wow, hes too naive! I suddenly slapped my palm on the shoulder of the dead snake head and slapped his next words back.

  I said magnanimously: Just because of you, brother, its enough to make sense. From now on, well share good fortune and bad luck together!

  Just as I was about to continue with my plan, the dead snake head suddenly let out a loud screech: I...I say...brother you...you stepped on my tail!

  I looked down and oh? Its really true! Ive been stepping on it for half a day, and the back of the dead snakes tail has even changed color a bit!

  Damn it, after messing around for half a day, it turns out to be this kind of thing! Its just a trivial matter of stepping on your tail, but you actually dare to deceive my feelings?!

  I suddenly became enraged and vicious, "Bang Bang" two sounds, I stomped my foot on the dead snakes big tail again twice!

  The dead snakes head let out a miserable cry of hiss, and tears came pouring down.

  Hearing the miserable cry of the dead snake head outside, everyone inside came out one after another, each with a tense expression, shouting: Whats going on?

  I said nonchalantly, The dead snake head doesnt know what kind of kung fu it wants to practice, and it actually wants me to step on its tail. I had no choice but to help out and casually stepped on it twice.

  Damn it... Im really fed up now!

  Support Flame Mountain Valley. Lets go slowly!

  I lay listlessly on the horse-drawn carriage, motionless. Just thinking about the two fiery phoenixes makes me feel anxious and distracted.

  Damn it, walking is just walking, whats with the comparison? Are you bored after eating your fill?

  Im getting annoyed to death by looking at a bunch of peoples shadows swaying back and forth in front of me!

  Especially when Pig Head Liu is still talking nonsense, saying that "playing the piano to a cow" refers to cows being masters of music, and "nine cows and two tigers" refers to nine-headed cows topping two old tigers...

  So does "the chicken hears the cock crow and starts to dance" mean that all chickens are great dancers? And does "nine cows with one hair" mean that only a nine-headed cow can grow one strand of hair?

  Annoying! Annoying! Annoying!

  I drew out the wolf-toothed club and rushed to the center of the arena, fiercely slamming it into the ground, sending shattered stones flying as the club sank halfway into the earth.

  I glared at everyone in the arena and shouted fiercely: "Whos coming to play a couple of tricks with me?"

  The antelopes who were just defeated by Gud and others wanted to get up, but when they saw me, one by one, they simply lay down on the ground...

  I rolled my eyes, and Good immediately covered his stomach with a pained expression "Just used too much force, got the hiccups..."

  Hippopotamus Ao and fat elephant Lola ran away with Chuier, saying as they ran: Its too dangerous here, lets go over there to communicate...

  Fathead fish immediately shook his big head and shouted: Dizzy, dehydrated, I must find a place with water to soak in

  I fixed my gaze on the dead snakes head, and the dead snakes head shuddered all over, wailing with a mournful face: Big brother...my tail is still swollen...

  Whats with your swollen tail? On the battlefield, even if all four limbs are broken, you still have to use your mouth to bite for me!

  The dead snakes head disappeared instantly... A voice came from far away: It seems like theres danger ahead, Ill go take a look first...

  Grandma is so cool... Im speechless!

  My gaze finally stopped on Pighead Liu, and Pighead Lius face immediately stiffened, the cigar in his mouth dropping to the ground with a pop.

  I smiled slyly and said: Dear Richard, I think you shouldnt have anything to worry about...

  Pig-headed Liu immediately regained his energy and didnt say a word, turning his head to face Daisy Long and saying: Little Honey Dragon wife, go get some paper, your husband I want to take a dump!

  Then farted and swaggeringly turned around and left...

  Im too shameless!

  59. Dont have overly high expectations for anything.

  When I passed by the territory of that Akarnaseth Scorpion-tailed Lion family, my throat was about to crack from shouting but still didnt see that Akarnaseth Scorpion-tailed Lion come out.

  I really doubt if that guy has ears on his head.

  The dead snake head also has a scorpion tail, the scorpion-tailed lion must have one too, and it would be very interesting for the two guys to fight with their tails.

  The dead snake head was stung and had a big package on its head, it must be fun... what a big cauliflower!

  It would be even better if that pig was stung into a cauliflower head...

  Isnt that going to make him a Buddha?

  Damn it!

  Speak of Cao Cao and Cao Cao arrives... Ive really seen a ghost.

  I just killed a huge louse, that louse was really damn big, I looked at it and got goosebumps all over my body.

  Just as everyone was busy rescuing the injured antelope person, a group of ghosts appeared.

  It was originally the undying soul of the former Qīng Niú Rén warrior that condensed to form the Soul Wanderer

  Manipulating the already dead Antelope Warrior, adhering to the pre-mortem duty of protecting the tribe from invasion.

  A group of people started discussing and gossiping about whether these "soul travelers" were good or evil.

  Especially those two egg-sized Baili sacrifices, saying that the dead are evil...

  Damn it, whats evil and whats righteous, who cares!

  Its all just dressing yourself up, once you strip away the facade, everyone is the same.

  The saying that a dead cow becomes an evil spirit and a dead snake becomes a sacred servant is purely nonsense.

  Damn it! I still know about ghostly intervention!

  Even gods can only be errand boys under the command of ghosts!

  Grandmas!

  I firmly support Tang Lao Niu and these Soul Tourists, revolution is no crime, rebellion is justified!

  Comrades of revolution, come together and advance, advance, advance!

  "Whats that thing in front of us? A Terror Claw? Ive never seen such a rare creature before! It looks so intimidating!"

  Assessment mode activated! Let me take a closer LOOK...

  Strength: 46

  Agile: 32

  Body weight: 55 kg

  Intelligence: 18

  Attack Index:

  Defense Index: 59

  What a big piece of trash. Really unimpressive! Leave it for others to play with.

  I rolled my eyes and suddenly had an idea. Why not take advantage of this trashs suicidal opportunity to play a trick on him?

  Always so monotonous and dull, playing like this is really boring.

  I beckoned them over, and Good, Nedved, Fatty Loh, Hippo O, Nigga, Dead Snake Head, and Big Stupid Dragon all came over.

  "Did everyone see that Terror Claw in front of us? This is a great opportunity, I think its just right for everyone to practice the new super combo battle technique Ive been researching with these few blind guys."

  As soon as they heard that there was a new fighting skill, several guys eyes widened immediately and they couldnt help but feel itchy all over.

  "Elder, speak quickly, what combat technique?"

  "This is specially designed for long-range attacks on large targets, and its called the Human Cannon!"

  A murmur around: Human cannonball? Sounds like a Bourne thing

  I couldnt help but feel a sense of pride: Thats only natural, this super combo can launch a warrior as fat as Fatty Luo like a spear from God, think about it, with such powerful force combined with sharp weapons at that speed, what kind of destructive power is that? Guaranteed that guy will be turned into a hollowed-out rice ball!

  The guys around nodded their heads in agreement.

  I cleared my throat and said, "Now Im giving orders, everyone get ready."

  This group of people suddenly appeared and lined up behind me.

  "Good, Owen... Cross your arms and grasp each others wrists to open up some distance. Horse stance! Gun mount! Once fired, quickly disperse and retreat!"

  "Little fatty, stretch your hands forward, hold the weapon well, lie on it! Lift your butt a bit higher! After firing, adjust your legs and body to be in a straight line!"

  "Big stupid dragon, add stone skin to Little Fat Elephant, avoid joints, and add 3 layers on the butt!"

  "Dead snake head, give Xiao Fei Xiang plus or minus heavy magic... Give me ice frost leg protection!"

  "Inside, Devide, ride high on the neck! Observe target, report scale, orientation!"

  "Little hippopotamus, stand by the gun mount, listen for Nadezhdas command, and correct the firing status at any time."

  .......

  All set, bearing 12 oclock, range 500 yards, target locked!

  I took a deep breath, after 50 meters of sprinting, all my strength concentrated on my right foot, and I kicked it towards Fat Elephant Luos...

  Super Invincible Human Cannonball! Launch!

  With just a dull "thud" sound, Fei Xiang Luo shot forward like a cannonball, directly hitting the Terror Claw in front of him.

  It seems like Bouls massive Terror Claw was thoroughly pierced in an instant! He fell on the spot!

  Wow... success! Everyone cheered up!

  My goodness, my foot is killing me, this little fatty counts as a heavyweight after all.

  Forget it, let Fathead Fish take the second shot instead.

  Then, everyone stared in shock as the little hippopotamus was kicked by the fat-headed fish to a stone pillar eight miles away from another terror claw monster.

  My god, can this also be kicked askew? And its even kicked so ridiculously?!

  I stared at Fatty Fish and angrily asked: "Can you kick a ball? Where did you used to kick the ball?"

  Fathead fish: "Oh, I used to be in the Chungguk national team"

  Damn it, no wonder you kick so badly!

  Looking at the fat-headed fish still being so spirited and lively, I finally understand what it means to have a good self-feeling.

  What a disappointment!

  Watching us having so much fun, Pig-headed Liu couldnt sit still and ran over shouting: "No way, no way, this is too dangerous!"

  "Whoa, this is exhilarating!" I grabbed him and said, "Come on, come on, fire the next two shots, Richard, youre up!"

  It has been proven that under the great leadership of Chairman Richard, all enemies are paper tigers!

  Enough of this noise, Ill send Dead Snake Head ahead to scout the road.

  Ive made myself clear, dont let me see any more of those who are neither good-looking nor capable. Once discovered, eliminate them thoroughly from body to spirit!

  The dead snake head apparently executed my command very thoroughly.

  When we were almost at the Valley of Flames, this guy was so full that he could hardly walk.

  Geren: "Big brother, do you have Jianzhong Jianwei digestive tablets? Im feeling bloated"

  "Uh, let me see... we dont have Jianzhongjianwei pills, do you want Badou pills for diarrhea?"

  Just arrived at Flame Mountain Valley and had a great time!

  Just in time to try out the "Inferno Storm" of the successive flame bullet inspired by Little Piglets successive water arrow

  I flew into the air, opened my mouth and made a crazy sweep towards the water surface!

  Boom... Boom... Boom. Amidst the continuous dull thuds, a massive pillar of water burst forth from the surface, with flames rolling about within it.

  Innumerable masses of people rose up like a stormy sea, with grievances in their hearts, to report to Marx.

  I glided down, skimming the waters surface, and with a swift kick of my Wind God Leg Techniques Whirlwind Sweeping the Remains, I sent a leaping Kaito Fishman flying sideways, directly slamming headfirst into the empty ground on the shore.

  This is the first time Ive seen a mermaid, let me take a closer look.

  I landed on the shore with a splash and pulled out the guy I had just kicked over from the mud.

  Wow, what is this? This is too much! How dare you come out and meet people looking like that?

  Ive seen ugly ones before, but Ive never TMD seen one as ugly as this!

  Unforgivable! I slammed the already 99% dead Kaido to the ground with a loud thud, trampling him mercilessly! Non-stop trampling!

  I cursed as I stepped on it: "Ill let you damn well come out and scare people! Ill let you damn well come out and scare people!"

  When I stopped, the fight was over and everyone looked at me with a very strange gaze.

  Hippopotamus Ao ran over, looked at the big thing under my feet and exclaimed: "Wow... Koutu people fish portrait painting? The elders foot is so extraordinary"

  Look at Hippo Houses farting skills! I swept away the gloom in my heart and burst out laughing.

  "Hippo Ahma continued: Elder, Ill get this painting mounted for you right away!"

  Wow, today was really awesome!

  Damn it, the fat-headed fish and hippopotamus actually caught a few Kaidos Fish-man prisoners... I really dont know what theyre thinking.

  Sometimes looking at beauties too much can also lead to psychological abnormality...

  Damn it, the hippopotamus O caught is actually the leader of the bandit Taoren... This guy must have picked his nose after using PP and didnt wash his hands!

  Richards bamboo stick has been taken out and beaten to the point of thunderous applause, these captives cant be killed even if they want to... Now everyone is satisfied, right?

  Pig-headed Liu: Fire Crane brother, keep an eye on these captives, dont let them run away, this is a large sum of cash checks! Doesnt it feel great to see such a big pile of money? Youre even more handsome with their contrast!

  What? Im in charge of guarding prisoners?

  I hastily waved my hand and shook my head: "I dont like money at all now, really! Im already very handsome now, no need for them to set me off, besides, if they see how handsome I am and are so ashamed that they kill themselves, whats the point? Let Guren Brother go watch over them instead..."

  Dead snake head one listen big flip white eyes...cut, not satisfied? You grow that big * face you dont go who goes?

  Ning Yu: Hu He Old Man, just now everyone was fighting and cleaning up the battlefield, theyre all a bit tired... Ge Rui En was also the vanguard for a while earlier... you can take a break

  Could it be that Im the one who came from Rolls-Royce? Could it be that I didnt get to fight on stage? Is it just because I look handsome that I should compromise and compromise?

  Donge little sister... older brother I miss you so much now... wuwuwuwa wa wa

  Watching these people leave with smiles on their faces, I turned around and kicked that Kao Tao Ren Yu Tous head to the ground with one foot!

  I roared: "Damn it, all of you get down, whoever dares to raise their head Ill kill them! Damn, isnt it enough that your ugly photos are full of pimples?! You must be born with abstract ugliness! Look at the mermaids from the Hai family, arent they beautiful?! Theyre all mermaids, how can there be such a big difference?! Its really damn ridiculous!"

  Kaito burst into tears and wailed: We didnt want to grow up like this either... Its all because of the harm caused by humans and the Seadragon tribe!

  Huh? Is there something hidden? LET ME hear it.....

  Kuo Tao, with a sobbing voice, said: Our ancestors were originally from the sea clan of mackerel fish, our family was huge... our people just liked to hunt and kill large animals in the sea collectively... but later because we accidentally killed a few humans who fell into the sea... we were inexplicably covered by the hat of "man-eating fish"... this is not all, humans also colluded with the sea dragon tribe, and shamelessly banished us... to cover up their shameful behavior... the sea dragon tribe even cursed our people, making every one of us go through the "birth dragon way" at birth... thats a deadly "birth dragon way"! Their dragon eggs, which were originally like sea urchins, became shiny and round only after being polished by the "birth dragon way"... how can we compare with those thick-shelled dragon eggs? As a result, our people who were born became like this... We... we... hate!

  Wow, I didnt know it was like this?!

  Ugly reality always hides a heart-wrenching history behind it... I suddenly feel a little sympathy for this ugly, disheveled guy.

  The messenger of the fish-like people finally came with a ransom, and I was about to be released. Although I had some sympathy for them, it couldnt cover up my disgust at their ugly appearance.

  What is this? OH... MY GOD! A female mermaid? They actually want to use a beautiful woman from their own tribe to exchange for the prisoner of war?

  Haha... Looking at Lius face turning as dark as a large pit of dung, I almost fainted from laughter...

  There are too many beautiful women, its easy to get aesthetic fatigue, changing flavors is also good... Haha haha ha

  Zhu Tou Liu Zheng was about to erupt in anger... The envoy, seeing the situation was not good, immediately shouted: We still want to present the most magical coral woman and Ma Long crystal...

  Oh... I see... Must the good stuff always be put at the end? A group of people are eager to take a look at this stunning coral woman and Malachite crystal, just how amazing they are.

  Why does it feel like time has stopped?

  "Richard, weve been waiting here for over 20 hours already. Why hasnt this thing been brought up yet?"

  Pig Head Liu: I guess this thing is too amazing... The waiting time is too short and it doesnt look solemn enough

  Im so hungry I can barely hold on... if the food doesnt arrive soon Im afraid Ill starve to death... how are you doing now?

  Zhu Tou Liu: Ive been dizzy for a long time... the gods are holding us back and not letting us move... Im also barely holding on... it should be soon, right?

  I said: Next time, lets just stay in the house and not go out... this station has been delayed for over 20 hours, its going to be fatal...

  Pig-headed Liu: Huh... how can it smell so bad? Whos so daring? Sneaking a fart? Im about to collapse and youre still causing trouble? Dont want to mix anymore?

  I took a big look and saw that Fat Elephants face was extremely strange. He shouted loudly, "Dead Fat Elephant, whats going on with you?"

  Fat Elephants eyes were all teary: Boss... it wasnt a fart... I... I... I held in my poop for two days and really couldnt hold it in anymore... I pooped in my pants...

  Unfortunately... we dont even have the strength to laugh anymore.

  "Master Qingyuan, if you dont come back and update soon... were afraid well become the most miserable group of heroes in history."

  66. Cant sleep at night, preparing to go out for a pee, didnt expect to run into Liu Pighead sneaking into Qiuqius room. Hehe, follow him, follow him. Huh huh.

  The old rascal actually sneaked into his own daughters room, hahaha. Be careful not to be discovered by Pighead. Hmm, what is the old rascal doing? He actually snuck over to Kachushas bedside... he, he, he... and it turns out he only stole Kachushas schoolbag. Hmm, did he just steal a schoolbag?

  Wait, whats that? It seems to be a diary! Is he going to read his daughters diary? Indeed, parents always like to read their daughters diaries, haha. However, hum, can I take a look too?

  Be careful, dont let Pighead discover me, hehe, Im hiding, Im sneaking, hoo-hoo, haha. Oh, its open, its open! Haha, I saw it! Pighead Liu turned to the first page, oh my god, what did I see? "How to make all the mothers of Feilongcui *explode", second page "How to snatch all the mothers of Feilongcui *explode" before dad does, third page "How to unknowingly snatch all the mothers of Feilongcui *explode" before dad does. Oh my god, kids these days are ruthless!

  Madam Coral has finally appeared... We stood waiting for over thirty hours.

  Nurse, nurse, each person a bottle of glucose, hang it up first!

  Wow... its worth waiting for this time!

  After the messenger of the fisherman finished telling the wonders of the Coral Lady, we all exclaimed in unison: Unbelievable miracle

  I let out a loud shout: Madam Coral, Ive got it!

  Zhu Tou Liu shouted loudly: One side of the cool place is mine!

  My head is pressed against Lius head, our eyes are locked in a fierce stare, with an intense killing aura surrounding us.

  I exclaimed indignantly: "Youre ruining art!"

  Pig-headed Liu is ferocious and evil: Giving it to you is a waste of resources!

  So youre saying theres no room for negotiation? Alright then, lets have a competition and whoever wins gets to decide!

  A perfect match!

  "Ill take it: A masterpiece of natures craftsmanship, I appreciate its elegance, and it should be part of my collection"

  Pig-headed Liu: Exquisite and unparalleled instrument, I am insatiably greedy, return it to me for heavenly justice

  This pig is indeed unreasonable!

  I come again: Eternal youth with both literary and military prowess, you should pay respects to your predecessors

  Pig-headed Liu: Im a freak born from heaven and earth, fire and water cant harm me. Old man, youd better retreat three steps.

  This guys moral character is also so poor! Is this little brat really from a country known for its grandeur and etiquette?

  It seems like I have to threaten you.

  "Behold my: Divine sword in hand, seven feet long, short blade that can cut hair and down. Left slash, right stab, conquer the worlds heroes, triumph every time, awe-inspiring, subdue the four seas. People call me Silver Sword, do you dare to challenge me?"

  Pig-headed Liu: I have a fierce weapon under my crotch, an eight-inch long gun that can be extended and retracted at will. Its on top of the world, inserting itself into every beautiful woman, making them climax repeatedly. Im the overlord of the nine states, nicknamed Golden Gun Unbeaten Old Man. You cant compete with me!

  Come on, you wont even eat the hard ones? I know youre proud, just watch me tease you!

  This time I: Seven wives surround and turn, every night sweating profusely; young people should know the taste of worry, the future is precarious

  Pig-headed Liu: Since ancient times, heroes have had many red-faced beauties; seven or eight are not enough to play with; beautiful women will not let go of life and death, the second-in-command is shameless

  Damn it, youre ruthless! Ive lost all face... Im out of here!

  The house of Tifeng giant is spacious, but the bed is not good... too hard. Not comfortable at all.

  Under my request, Tang Lao Niu set up a large round yurt for me outside... the soft and springy kind they used to have in their campsite.

  Lying on top of it feels so great... Yeah!

  I solemnly gave this tent a new name ----- Mibaoer Bed

  I dont know which son of a bitch told those Typhon Giants that my feathers are fireproof and will regenerate... These past few days, a group of Typhon Giants have been surrounding me asking for my feathers.

  When a group of giant men surrounded me again today and wanted my feathers, I couldnt help but lose my temper.

  I said: "The day before yesterday you asked me to wear a feather as a hairband and pluck me like a vulture."

  The day before yesterday you asked for my feathers to make underwear for your wife, and plucked me like an ostrich.

  Yesterday you guys wanted me to wear a down jacket again and I was directly turned into a white-striped chicken. What else do you want to do today?

  Tifeng Giant: We also want to make down quilts...down mattresses...

  I suddenly felt dizzy and my vision went black...

  As I watched myself suddenly become sleek and shiny again, I became furious and let out a loud roar: Listen up, everyone! Today, Im going to take a sauna, and youd better serve me well. Otherwise, in the future, I wont give you a single penny!

  Tiefeng Giant: Whats a sauna? What is a sauna?

  "Cut the nonsense, one of you bring a bucket of water and follow me into the house!"

  This sauna is so refreshing when its steaming...

  I sat on a stone pedestal, wiped the sweat from my neck and shouted: Not hot enough! Not hot enough! You guys keep splashing water on me...

  "What? Someone cant hold on anymore? Then hurry up and switch people over! What if I catch a cold?"

  "Hmm... feels so comfortable... someone come and give me a back massage..."

  Wait until Im satisfied with the washing, a group of Ti Feng giants who didnt have a single spark on their bodies rushed to the front of their iron-making furnace, each hugging the furnace and crying loudly.

  The war preparations are going well, all thanks to the magic teleportation array that was prepared in advance.

  Large numbers of troops, with equipment pouring in continuously, were replenished to the front line of the battlefield.

  Wow... Whats this today? Over 200 little fat snakes?

  My mouth watered at once, and this Li Cha was really polite, knowing that Ive been tired lately, so he prepared a lot of small fat snakes for me to nourish my body.

  Those thoughtful people even brought forks for me to eat with, I was so touched that tears welled up in my eyes.

  I quickly tied a napkin around my neck... ready to start eating.

  The little fox looked at me and hastily ran over to block my way...

  What? Cant eat these small fat snakes?

  This is too much... Fine, eat half and leave half! Im giving you face!

  I haggled with the little fox, and this little girl finally got anxious to the point of tears, insisting on saying one cant eat...

  Alas... Women are just trouble. I agreed, I agreed... So depressing.

  I thought to myself: One cant eat... then if I eat a little bit of each, it doesnt count as breaking the rule, right? After all, I didnt eat one whole thing!

  Wow... Im really a genius.

  Today I ate fragrant and spicy snake head tip!

  So I waved a kitchen knife and frying pan to chase and kill those little fat snakes everywhere.

  I chased after him shouting: Stop... Ill just cut off a bit of your tail... dont run... I mean what I say... stop... damn it, no jumping into the river!

  70. Today, Lingyu came to find me with a frown on her face, looking like she had something on her mind.

  "Jade: Elder, do you think we can win this war? Richard seems to be under too much pressure and has become a bit abnormal..."

  "Haha, never mind about winning or losing for now. Whats wrong with Richard?"

  Jade: I... I just happened to find out today that he wipes with his left hand...

  "Youre not mistaken, are you? This is also a big fuss over nothing. Wiping your butt with the right hand or left hand, whats it to you? There are many natural left-handers!"

  Ning Yu: Okay... but... he used to use paper before...

  Whoa?! My day... Epidemic alert! Found a live PSE case!

  After a long silence, birds like locusts and dwarves swept across the sky in an overwhelming manner.

  Good boy... what a big scene.

  Unfortunately, they were facing our fully prepared Joint Special Operations Brigade...

  Halberds, feathered arrows, hand axes, magic, and Moradins fiery wrath wove a song of slaughter in an instant.

  I couldnt help but stick my head out like a dead snake to see the commotion...

  Immediately spotted by a little butterfly and scolded: What are you looking at? Go back and hide!

  The dead snakes head hissed and retreated back in. I stuck out my tongue and muttered, "This little girl is so fierce!"

  Unexpectedly, the little butterfly puffed out its chest and said proudly: Of course I have a good chest!

  Wow... is this a mistake? Still in the mood for flirting on the battlefield?

  I havent even recovered from the shock yet, and this little girl has become even more outrageous.

  Little Butterfly: Hehe... Not only did Richard say it, but even Ning Yu said that my twin peaks are unmatched! Elder, you havent seen anyone stronger than me in the Far East Continent either, have you?

  You little thing, youre so arrogant at such a young age!

  I coughed and said, "Hmm, this one, on the Far Eastern continent... If its not sent by Russia, it must be very far away from you... However..."

  The little butterflys face sank: What is it?

  I slowly and deliberately let out a laugh: Youre far inferior to the leader of the Crotch Covering Sect... His name is Zhang Sanfeng! And on his chest, he has three... (cups)!

  After finishing speaking, I ignored Little Butterflys angry and frustrated appearance, turned around and rushed back into the house.

  Little girl, you think you can play tricks on me... Youre still too young for that!

  This diary entry is so embarrassing that I feel ashamed of myself... My jokes are getting more and more ridiculous, sweating just thinking about it.

  The enemy has changed its strategy since being hit head-on for the first time and keeps playing harassment tactics, how boring.

  The first-line militia have all withdrawn for a rotational rest.

  Dead Snake Head: Big brother, I think the enemy wont come up for a while, why dont you take out some of your treasured videos and play them?

  Forget it, Im feeling down too, lets watch a movie to lift our mood.

  We just looked for a few minutes... several giant otters drilled in, probably heard the sound in the house...

  I suddenly have a little bit of a criminal feeling, just a little bit.

  The movies I collect are absolutely top-notch, and a group of Tyson giants with flames all over their bodies are roaring with excitement.

  The dead snake head suddenly said: Big brother, I cant sit still, its killing me

  Before I could say anything, the door was pushed open with a bang and Bella, the little dog, rushed in, barking loudly: "What are you sneaking a peek at?"

  This startled a giant Tifon standing at the door, who shuddered all over and suddenly turned around to look back.

  The little dog Bella fell down with a thud and lay there on her side... whats going on?

  Bela rose from the ground and looked at the giant Typhon standing before him, bursting into a rage.

  "I hate it most in this life when others point a gun at my head! The one who just shot me with a gun is you, Im not done with you yet..."

  I rushed over and grabbed Bellamy, the little dog had a long red mark on its head. The giant Typhon covered his crotch with both hands, looking embarrassed.

  Alas... your lower body is exposed so long, it cant be covered up at all...

  No wonder Bellamy is so excited... being swept by someones chicken stick and then pointed at his head by the chicken stick...

  If others find out, Bellamy wont have to pretend anymore...

  I hastily signaled to Tifeng Giant to quickly leave, while facing the dead snake head and saying: Go, find a large band-aid and put it on Bellamy, damn it!

  The snake head came back after a while: Big brother, the largest band-aid... can you take a look at this?

  "Hey, why does this band-aid have two small wings?"

  Wow, you idiot plus moron! I asked you to get a band-aid, how the hell did you bring back a sanitary napkin?!

  Forget it, cut off the extra small wings and stick them together with adhesive tape for temporary use.

  Bellas eyes were brimming with tears as she covered her head, which I had covered with a sanitary napkin, and asked, "Can I go out like this?"

  I took a closer look and felt like something was missing, oh yeah, the color is off.

  I took a charcoal pencil and lightly applied a layer of gray to it, then drew a black circle in the middle. Done!

  Feng Qing version of adult Fire Shadow Naruto shines on stage! Wow hahaha.

  74. The Storm Is Coming

  Today, Pig Head Liu shouted at me as soon as he saw me: Come one by one

  Wow, this guy is drunk again, what a cheap person!

  I glared at Pighead Liu and let out a loud roar: "My name is Aurora... you bastard!"

  Pig-headed Liu suddenly burst out laughing: I... I said the hair on your body is all neat and tidy, why are you called Aurora?

  The gang of thugs behind Liu Pighead heard this and each of them pursed their lips and snickered secretly.

  My god, youve gone too far, how dare you make fun of me using my name?!

  Daisy Long patted Liu Zhus shoulder with a smile and said, "Richard, dont say any more, or Elder might change his name to Luo Ben (naked run)!"

  Everyone burst out laughing at this.

  I flared up in anger, gazing coldly at Daisy Long, yet spoke softly, "Oh...this name is indeed not bad, but I think you should change your name too."

  Daisy Long was taken aback: What name should I change to?

  I rubbed my mouth and said with a sly smile: Yin Zha Ji

  The surroundings suddenly fell silent... Then burst into loud laughter.

  Dai Si Longs face first turned bright red and then turned iron blue, and he actually drew out a crossbow arrow and shot at me in a burst of wild shooting.

  Murder! Oh no, grandmas little dragon is furious, flashing first...

  Today Ive really lost face, being chased by this little girl all over Valencia... Im so embarrassed... damn it, I might as well change my name to Chehe (cowardly crane).

  Alas, I knew today was no better than using the name He Long given by Tian Hua elder in the first place, how frustrating.

  I was sleeping soundly in the house with a dead snake head, when I suddenly heard a commotion outside and people shouting "Its raining!"

  Is it raining? I was startled awake by a loud noise, and we looked at each other in confusion... Have we seen a ghost? Where did the rain come from underground?

  Suddenly, both of our faces changed color... This rain is too suspicious... Im afraid its the enemys large-scale counterattack.

  Charge! The time has come to sweep the battlefield with honor! I roared with Dead Snake Head and charged out.

  .....

  I wiped away the blood from my face with my hand and stared at the sea of corpses below, a mountain range of bodies stretching out before me... Is it over?...

  The enemys counterattack this time was unusually fierce, with each and every one of them fearless in the face of death. The sheer number of troops and the ferocity of their attack exceeded everyones expectations...

  At this time almost everyone has a feeling of being reborn after a disaster.

  Flashes of the aerial dogfight earlier appeared in my mind one after another.

  Eagles and oxen men come at me from all eight directions, their spears dense like a stormy rain in the sky.

  I let out a loud whistle, and a red glow flashed across my body, causing countless spear-like projectiles to shatter and scatter in all directions. My figure shot forward like an arrow, piercing straight into the enemys formation!

  I flutter up and down with my wings, sharp wing blades bringing out streaks of blood arrows.

  With a sweep of his right leg, several eagle-headed men were sent flying with a crunching sound of shattered bones; his left claw probed out and snatched another eagle-headed man, whose brain burst forth in a gory explosion.

  Iron beak left piercing right stabbing, wherever it points all will be conquered...

  The eagle-cow people came like a crazy giant wave, one after another, rolling in... In an instant, they surrounded me like an iron bucket.

  I even saw clearly each eagle ox mans blood red eyes and ferocious face, just like the evil spirits of hell.

  In an instant, dozens of eagle-cow people pounced on me...

  Haha... Im so angry that I burst out laughing and shout towards the sky: In that case, all of you go to hell, get lost!

  His entire body burst forth with a brilliant red glow, and amidst the sound of cracking bones and tearing flesh, a mist of blood spread out.

  My eyes have turned blood red... The God of Murder has descended. I will slaughter all living things and conquer the world!

  Its over...

  I suddenly felt like there was something in my mouth, spat it out and took a look, damn! Whose **** is this? F**k... Ive been ****ed by a bird?!

  Im going crazy! Find that son of a bitch who has no balls for me! Ill tear him to pieces!!

  I rushed to the bathroom while vomiting loudly... it was so disgusting!

  I was squatting under the shower humming and brushing my teeth when that damned pighead called me again... what the heck? Somethings up again?!

  I hastily wrapped myself in a large bath towel and rushed out with a big brush in my mouth full of foam.

  Damn it... This bastard actually wants me to take Custer and Yolna to inspect other outposts at this time...

  I viciously spat out the toothbrush in my mouth onto the ground and roared: Prepare for weapon deployment....

  "Left wing rocket launcher Katyusha... mounting complete!"

  "Right-wing empty slot, grappling hook deployed... loading complete!"

  "Abdominal element protective armor Vorona... mounting complete!"

  "Co-pilot Little Black Panther... Safety check complete!"

  I snatched the cigar from Lius hand and puffed it up to the face of a giant man with a thick beard, saying: "Light... ready for takeoff!"

  Damn it... Id like to see which guy dares to provoke this fully armed heavy-duty fighter jet.