The fourteen sat together that night, still waiting for Daishi&Matoi's arrival. Every plate but one was still untouched.

  "Look at him go." laughed Yamato, seeing the boar hard at work on his udon.

  "I'm just - way too nervous to eat, like." laughed Marisa. "Is - has he like, sent you guys anything?"

  "Not me." said Junpei, shaking his head. "Probably won't say anything until they're super sure."

  Rin nodded. "But - if it has taken this long. It means it is not, a… A Revenant like the others."

  "Good point." nodded Samuel, finishing up his bowl. "Apologies. Worked up an appetite."

  "Sheesh." laughed Yamato -

  - and eleven tablets vibrated, setting fourteen groaning -

  " - fucking tablet." winced Yamato, taking a peek; and sighing relief. "(The animals got out again.)"

  Eleven laughs, and three more after Junpei relayed it. Two of the men stood, designated animal control, and as they started walking -

  - the doors opened, and in stepped Matoi&Daishi, faces blank.

  "(Sit.)" he nodded, gesturing to the chabudai. "(I'll handle the animals - Junpei, evacuate their workers and come back.)"

  Junpei disappeared, and the two presidents kneeled. They didn't speak until he returned.

  "(They performed analysis on Katuhisa's Revenant. They were able to remove it from his heart without it decaying.)"

  Fourteen tensed.

  "(A half hour ago, they finished analysis of his ability.)" stated Matoi. "(His colony was difficult to examine.)"

  "(The bacteria kept morphing, I believe is how they put it.)" nodded Daishi.

  "(But, they were able to find the ability.)"

  "(It took many hours.)"

  "(And many -)"

  "( - you two are just messing with us at this point -)" panted one of the men, and thirteen laughed.

  "(This - this is serious.)" laughed Daishi. "(But, well. His ability. His Revenant's ability, was the ability to -)"

  "( - get on with it.)" laughed Rin - "( - the, the other three don't know what we're saying, either - you're making them tense.)"

  "(Fine.)" smirked Matoi. "(Then I'll say it in English first -)"

  "( - no - Japanese is good!)" panted Yamato, and Matoi's head shook.

  "Elite Four. They performed analysis on Katuhisa's Revenant. It was three months old, and had the ability to, once a day… "

  She paused.

  "Give someone else a single-use Revenant."

  "Fuck - yes!" shouted Junpei, slamming his fist down -

  - and a swarm of scarabs disintegrated the dishes as the table flipped, leaving sixteen laughing far worse, but pleased.

  ◆◆◆

  The next day, with no new Revenants found, the sixteen set out for lunch and dinner. By night, regular disturbances had peeled each away, leaving only Daishi and the four.

  "(It may be difficult to find a restaurant that isn't full.)" laughed Daishi, on their third try by then. "(There's some beef bowl restaurants that are usually less busy - but, well. It's your last week here.)"

  "(Better spent than on fastfood.)" laughed Matoi. "(As much as Samuel would want it.)"

  They came up to one ramen restaurant, and Daishi led them inside. He spoke with the host (but not that kind), and his head shook as he turned to the four.

  "(A thirty minute wait.)" he said, and Matoi's head shook.

  "(It'll almost be closed by then.)"

  "Another try?" laughed Samuel as they started walking out.

  "Maybe Junpei could empty some seats." chimed Mia, and the four laughed.

  "If only." smirked Matoi. "(Could you call Junpei to empty some seats?)"

  Daishi laughed at the stolen joke. "(Unfortunately not - but I've been tempted, sometimes. The poor man is overworked as it is.)"

  They searched for ten minutes longer, and finally came to one sushi restaurant, five empty seats at the counter. They sat down and took five menus. The manager came to take their orders, glancing at Mia for a second.

  If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

  "What's the, uh…" Samuel pressed his menu to Matoi, pointing to the sodas. "Ramune?"

  "It's a type of soda - lemon-lime, with a marble in it."

  "With a marble in it?" he laughed, and Matoi smirked.

  "It's to keep the carbonation inside - supposedly - though it's made where you can't accidentally swallow it."

  "Guess I can't pass that up." he nodded. "One Ramune, then."

  "Orange soda." nodded Marisa.

  "Er - grape for myself." nodded Mia.

  "(Two Ramunes, an orange soda, and a grape soda.)" said Matoi.

  "(A root beer for myself.)" said Daishi, and the man set off.

  "And now, we wait an hour for our food." said Samuel. "Still think we should've gone to that maid cafe."

  "You can be a pig on your own time." laughed Matoi -" - not using Urasaria funds -"

  " - I mean, I could give them a tip to cover how awful it must be -"

  " - you don't tip in Japan."

  The man came with four drinks, setting down all but Mia's.

  "…er - where's my soda?" said Mia, and Matoi nodded.

  "(She ordered a grape soda.)"

  "(I'm not serving her.)" said the man, pointing to her. "(After what she -)"

  "( - listen to me.)" said Daishi. "(If you know who she is - then you know who I am. Who do you think knows more about whether her story was true - Ueno's president, or those shitty tabloids you read?)"

  Matoi couldn't hold back her smirk.

  "(You're free to serve whoever you wish -)", said Daishi, "( - but I won't be eating here if you'll refuse to serve her, and I doubt any other Ueno students will, either. She was attacked by seven Revenants - and you run a restaurant that was our fourth choice. She's saved thousands of lives. What have you done?)"

  "(…gotten her a grape soda.)" murmured the man. "(Excuse me.)"

  "(Thank you.)"

  ◆◆◆

  The four, with Rin&Yamato&Junpei, stepped in to another sushi restaurant Wednesday.

  "Ooo, I get it." grinned Marisa, seeing the circular conveyor belt ahead, plates of sushi and dessert making their trek around. "Can you just like, sit down and take stuff off?"

  "Yes." said Rin as the seven sat at the conveyor. "Daishi already paid for it."

  "They really are more advanced." muttered Samuel, ghastly hands securing three plates.

  ◆◆◆

  "Why does that place look like a castle?" said Marisa, pointing to that place that looked like a castle.

  "I'd assume it's a love hotel." laughed Matoi. "I don't see any windows."

  "Is it for discretion?" said Mia, thinking of Aimee.

  "So no one can see your body pillow." nodded Samuel.

  ◆◆◆

  "If someone tries to hit on you - don't say I didn't warn you." droned Matoi as they stepped in a manga cafe, shelves of manga left, private booths right. The four started browsing.

  "…they really like their muscular men." muttered Samuel.

  "This is the shōnen section - it's for teenage boys." shrugged Matoi.

  "Starting to feel a bit self-conscious, here." muttered Samuel, relevantly. "Makes you wanna start drinking a few gallons of milk a day to bulk up."

  "Do they have - uh, yuri?" said Marisa, and Mia-Mia gave her eyes odd.

  "Er, isn't that porn?"

  Matoi laughed. "It's lesbian fiction - get your mind out of the gutter."

  "Yeah, Mia-Mia." grinned Marisa, and they left Samuel with the muscular men as they searched. They came in to one aisle, and Matoi crouched at a set of small shelves.

  "…here." she muttered, pulling one book out. She started flipping through it. "'I'll always love you, no matter where we go in life, or where our fates take us. My heart beats with an energy of a thousand suns when I see your beautiful shining eyes, Yui.'" She laughed and set it back. "The writing hasn't gotten any better."

  "Yeah, but I bet you'd love that stuff if you were a teenager." chimed Marisa, and Matoi's entire face pinched.

  "…did you?" grinned Mia.

  "We're leaving."

  ◆◆◆

  The next Monday, the four said their goodbyes to eleven Ueno students, and Daishi accompanied them to the airport.

  "(I hope to see you all again, someday.)" he said, bowing. "(Or - well, not under such circumstances.)"

  The two laughed. "(Of course. If more Revenants appear, or some crisis occurs - let us know. I'll let you know if something comes up in America, as well.)"

  "(Of course.)" Daishi smiled. "(You'll have to show me how Urasaria operates -)"

  - and Junpei appeared beside, carrying a parcel. He still had a scar from the last Solar Beam.

  "(Apologies, Daishi. This came for them.)" he laughed. "Got one last letter - just came in. Was worried I'd have to pay international."

  "What is it?" said Matoi, almost tense as she took it.

  "No idea."

  Matoi nodded as she opened the envelope.

  Inside, a black&white manga drawing of the four and their Revenants.

  Matoi was at the front, glare to the viewer, sword, missiles and lasers outstretched. At the top of the paper, Boudoir's strands were cradling a laughing Marisa. Mia was at the left of Matoi, sword drawn, three sections of ice, fire, and lightning. At the right, Samuel's armor, car floating above his head.

  The caption, "Urasaria Academy's Elite Four".

  "(Quite a piece.)" laughed Daishi.

  "Oh - man, that's neat." grinned Marisa.

  "… No sexualization, either." murmured Matoi. "Fortunate. (Thank you.)"

  "It's a true masterpiece." said Samuel.

  "And now, Serena will really be jealous." chimed Mia -

  " - oh shit." panted Junpei - " - one - one second!"

  He disappeared -

  - and reappeared with a copy of Ultra Jump magazine & a volume of a bizarre adventure.

  "(Did - don't tell me you stole that.)" laughed Daishi.

  "(I'll pay after.)" laughed Junpei, handing it to Mia. "For your friend."

  "Thank you."

  ◆◆◆

  Another week passed, and for better and worse, everyone in the country knew the four's names.

  Two men met for discussion, senior and junior.

  "(Looks like Katuhisa wasn't useful after all.)" said the senior.

  "(Oh - I wouldn't say that. Have you seen the polls lately?)"

  "(The election's not until next year.)"

  "(You think that big crater's not still gonna be there? Big monument to Hito's failure, right there - and he was the one who invited them. Kurosawa's daughter, however many dead, too - he might just get voted out completely. They'll be scrambling if he is.)"

  "(You're too optimistic - but we'll see. We can hope for a bigger share, I suppose.)"

  "(Always pessimistic.)"

  "(This country has been degenerating for decades. Full of men and women who've turned self-hating - I have every right to be pessimistic.)"

  "(…least they're turning to that one American, now.)"

  "(… We'll see how long it lasts. Only a few hosts left - we'll have to keep them, strategically. Perhaps on Junpei.)"

  "(Not on Hito?)"

  "(You're as stupid as you look if you think assassinating a politician would make his party lose.)"

  "(… apologies.)" They paused. "(…do you think her story was real?)"

  "(There's no possible reason she'd lie - Americans barely know how. Just a na?ve woman. What've they - what have they taken to calling it? The man she mentioned?)"

  "(I overheard some highschoolers calling him Kakuzu. How many - five, six hearts?)"

  "(Something like that.)"

  A knock came at the door, and the junior opened it.

  "(Apologies for the interruption, sir.)" said Junpei, bowing his head. "(We believe there's a Revenant nearby - I must evacuate you two to safety.)"

  "(Of course.)" said the senior and stood.

  They got in his throne and left.

  [END OF ARC: I REALLY THINK SO]

  ENEMY REVENANTS

  Kaoru: Attacks a local airport. Dealt with by Daishi&Matoi. (Wakareru: Supposed to be "to separate". Pipes that allow separation and distillation of materials they dip in to, saving them for later, or allowing chemicals to be extracted from household items to create explosives. I had to look up some for that fight, so if there's never another chapter, I've been dragged off to some CIA blacksite for my Google history.)

  Isamu: Allows the Elite Four to finish their food, which is kind. Blasted hot fryer oil in to twelve employees' faces, which is not kind. (Senpuki: Supposed to be "electrical fan". Places fans that suck or blow.)

  Hachiro: Hijacks a train after killing every passenger. Many such cases! (Ichikabachika: Supposed to be, loosely, "all or nothing". Feathers that control fragility/durability of whatever they touch, besides hosts.)

  Hibiki: Attacks the five while they eat at an upscale restaurant. I wonder if fugu's worth it. (Josō-zai: Supposed to be "weed killer". Vines.)

  Ryoichi: Attacks the five while they eat at an upscale restaurant. Imagine Matoi just dropping in to the first floor and seeing the three dumbasses trying continually to electrocute this guy. (Sekken: Supposed to be "soap". White foam, extremely durable, and allows the host to transform parts of his body.)

  Junko: The skateboarding woman. My random name generator spit out the reference for me. Don't blame me, Ms. Enoshima! (Kyōsō: Supposed to be race in the "racing" sense. Skateboard allows her to inject things with speed [not that kind], causing them to rapidly rust, projectiles to quicken, or rapidly reducing the half-life of substances.)

  Fucking Hayato: Dealt with by Fucking Mia and Fucking Yamato. (Jorōgumo: Supposed to be "woman-spider", but the funnier translation is "whore-spider" in referring to a succubus-like spider myth. Spiders with the ability to freeze [but not like that] objects in place - or, control over "stiffness".)

  Gorou: Dealt with by a drunken Elite Four. Imagine if the tabloids knew about that. (Sekiyu: Supposed to be "oil". Oil that makes things slippery or sticky.)

  Itsuki: Dealt with, alongside seven other FUCKING hosts, by Mia. (Orochi: Reference to the Japanese mythological 8-headed dragon (which look like Western serpents). One head breathes fire, one head controls ice, one head grows objects, one head is incredibly fast, one head reverses time by 10-20 seconds in an area, one head spits acid, one head controls wind, and one head creates objects. We don't really see the last one, which is funny, because the fight is already 3.2k words and I could have made it longer. At this rate, the final fight of the series will probably be 10k words.)

  Koji: Kills Kurosawa's daughter. Dealt with by Daishi&Matoi. (Kōryaku: Supposed to mean "capture". Blue orbs that capture objects for later.)

  Kaito: Fought by Yamato. Did you see how far that head flew? (Toishi: Supposed to be "whetstone" or "grindstone". Numbs whatever it shoots or adds friction. I wonder if I should have a Monster Hunter Revenant...)

  Hikari: Fought by the Elite - Three, and Daishi. (Oni-itomaki-ei: Supposed to mean "giant manta ray". Three guesses why I'd name a gigantic metal mech associated with water RAY.)

  Katuhisa: (Shokuyō: Supposed to be "edible." They really were consumable! Once a day, allows Katuhisa to give someone else a Revenant that disintegrates when taken out of the host's body.)

  Post-mortem

  (But technically, before Dreadnought gave Worldwide's fire remnant away, he had six hearts. Soap opera lesbians win again!)

  [ARC 15: FILL IN THE BLANK]