This Story is my April Fools Chapter for 2025

  Book 3 April Fools chapter

  I sat in a chair with my back straight, focusing on my breathing. I had spent a lot of time in meditation since the assassination attempt. I tried not to show it, but having someone try and kill you is quite a traumatic experience. For some reason, the experience of being knifed by the duke was not as traumatic as this.

  Breathe in, breathe out.

  Was it because I was relaxed and I should have been safe?

  Breathe in, breathe out.

  Would this continue to happen?

  Breathe in, Breathe out.

  How could I prevent it? Even my guards were likely to get hurt.

  Breathe in, Breathe out.

  I must get stronger. In this world, only strength matters. Then, I can protect those I love.

  Breathe in, Breathe out.

  I will get stronger!

  Suddenly, warmth flooded me and condensed in the center of my chest. The feeling woke me from my meditation, and suddenly, I lost control. A massive pulse of energy was released, and I collapsed onto the floor.

  What the heck was that?

  *********

  In a cave high up in the mountains, the eyes of a man who could no longer be considered human slowly opened. He breathed in a scent he had not smelled in over a millennia. Not since he fled his war-torn continent, destroying all his pursuers along the way. The last enemy was killed right outside this cave. An entire mountain was destroyed, leaving nothing but a crater.

  As he exited the cave to find a new source of power, he decided to fly up upon his sword and view his surroundings. The creator he and Yang Chi had created in their final duel was now filled with water, and a small village sat on its shore. However, this was not where the energy had come from. He couldn't even sense the seed of Qi in these humans, which were little more than ants in his eyes. To the south, however, lay a few who seemed to possess potential and one whose seed had been awakened.

  ********

  I was restless. Something lingered inside me after that experience. I tried meditating again, trying to understand the feeling, but my mind kept wandering. I couldn't focus. Suddenly, I heard shouting from outside the manor. I rushed through the manor. And out the front, where one of the most bizarre scenes I had seen in this world so far was playing out. A tall, thin man of what looked to be Asian descent stood surrounded by my guards. He was wearing a blue kimono and sandals, which you see in all Chinese films. The look of disdain on his face should have instantly killed all those around him.

  When our eyes met, his look of disdain turned into a smirk. He said something in a language I could not understand and then stayed silent. All my men looked around in confusion. After a long pause, a look of annoyance crossed his face.

  In an instant, he was before me, and he slapped his hand on my forehead. A light wave of power emanated from him, and my head buzzed. "So you are my new disciple. How… disappointing. At least you are a lord over this person instead of the common rabble. I am Wang Gang, but you will call me Master Wang." he said in common.

  I sat there dumbfounded for a minute.

  Did he just pull information out of my head? Ok, note to self: don't make this guy mad. Wait, his name rhymes. Ok, Amos, don't laugh.

  I couldn't help but ask. "How did you pull everything from my mind?"

  "Because you are a pathetic mortal, and your mind is weak. It is a shame that I did not find you at a young age. Your cultivation will always lag behind your peers. I don't even know how you will manage to succeed. Your mind is most likely closed to the ways of cultivation."

  What the crap! Was this guy serious? Cultivation? But on the other hand, I did ask for more power. Maybe this is the answer. I guess I will roll with it. Wait, I am totally experiencing Deja Vu. It feels like this type of thing happened after I left Vaspar for the first time. Weird.

  I bowed to the crazy guy. "Ok, Master Wang, this lowly one is eager for your instruction."

  "Ah, good. At least I do not have to teach you manners. Now, what I am about to tell you will most likely be beyond your comprehension, even though you have had a glimpse into the greatness of cultivation through your meditation.

  "We must first find an appropriate cultivation method for you. Your mind is not strong enough to use mine. It took me hundreds of years to obtain the enlightenment that allowed me to develop the Red Flying Dragon of the Eternal Sky cultivation method."

  "Uh, did you name that yourself?"

  "Of course, I would never stoop to copy another's name."

  Don't laugh, Amos. You have people who are counting on you. Maybe all the good names were taken. Like how people have stupid handles because all the good ones are taken. At least it's not XxRed_DragonxX or something like that.

  So, Cultivation, huh? Now that I know it's a thing, I wonder if my knowledge from Earth can help.

  "Disciple, first I must see what we are working with. Show me a room we can practice in," he said.

  "Forgive this lowly one. Our accommodations are sparse. If you will follow me."

  We soon arrived in one of the bedrooms, and I had two chairs brought in.

  "Seat yourself and begin, disciple." Master Wang said.

  Soon slipped into my meditation. However, this time, I changed my focus. Instead of focusing inward and calming my mind, I pushed outward, trying to sense the world around me. I flipped through all the different stories I had read, trying to find something that would help me gain understanding. I finally found what I was looking for. Mana sense. It was an ability that was used a lot in fantasy novels and sometimes in cultivation novels. In this instance, it would be called Qi sense. I started to formulate the concept in my mind, trying to build a sort of blueprint of what the spell/technique would be like.

  I was interrupted by my "Master's" snort. "Pathetic. Only little children would use such a method. How did you even awaken your seed?"

  "Seed."

  "The seed of your core. Your core is the center of your power. The elements of your spiritual body are your core, Qi channels, meridians, and nodes. And with your lack of understanding, I doubt you will be ready in time."

  "In time for what?"

  "Others will come looking for you, and they will not be as kind as me."

  There was a long pause before Gang spoke again.

  "This is a waste. Without enough qi, you will never progress. The qi on this continent is so low I can almost not feel it. I can barely use any of my techniques. I am going to find out why the power is so low. I think my enemies could not find me, so they placed seals on this continent to block the Heavens from sharing their power. Now, even after millennia, I have barely improved.

  “If I see enough progress in you by the time I get back, I will consider teaching you more."

  He made a gesture in the air, and a red translucent symbol appeared in the air. It hovered for a moment and then shot into me.

  I did not shriek like a little girl.

  "What was that?" I asked, still a little shaken. Please don't be a DOT that would cause me to slowly die an agonizing death.

  "I have marked you as my disciple. Other cultivators will see the mark."

  Did he just figuratively pee on me like a dog marking his territory? Ugh.

  "So kind of like a protection warning others that I have a powerful master, and they better not mess with me."

  He smirked, "No, without me around, any cultivator who finds the mark on you will more than likely try to kill you. It is through fighting that we become stronger."

  "But I don't know anything about cultivating. I would be killed immediately."

  "There is almost no qi on this continent. Until I figure out why, I doubt anyone will come for you."

  "Are you seriously going to try to find a way to bring qi to this continent? Won't that cause massive problems?"

  "Only for the weak." He said off-handedly. I stared at him with my mouth agape.

  Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

  Jerk!

  A few minutes after he left, Draves and Benjamin flew into the room.

  "My lord, who was that?" Benjamin asked.

  "A total moron who is trying to get everyone killed."

  "What do you mean?"

  "He is trying to bring the energy of qi back to this continent."

  "What is qi?"

  "The life energy all around us. The more there is, the stronger people can get by using its energy. The problem is that the people who practice it tend to have a greater amount of trigger-happy people who get offended at the drop of a hat. I don't think the qi itself causes it. Not everyone is that way; it is probably cultural. It's completely stupid. Actually, it may be genetic. Strong people marry other strong people, and the gene is passed on within the smaller group of people, kind of like redheads that blow their tops. Hmm, something to think about."

  "I don't understand, my lord."

  "Sorry, all I can say is that if that guy succeeds, we may be in trouble.

  "Okay, give me a bit, and I'll try to figure out some things."

  Benjamin left immediately while Draves lingered.

  "My Lord, how do you know so much about this? Is this something from your old world? Why have you not mentioned it before?"

  "Ah, well, kind of," I said.

  "What do you mean?"

  "It, um, look, it's embarrassing."

  "Forgive me, my lord, but you said we may be in danger. I need to understand."

  I sighed in resignation. "Fine, but if you tell anyone, I am going to kill you."

  "Your secret is safe with me."

  "I'm… I'm a closet novel reader." I said as I hung my head in shame. "I even read the stupid ones that are so poorly translated you can barely understand what they are talking about."

  Draves stared at me in confusion.

  "Whew. Actually, it is good to get that off my chest. Thanks, Captain. However, I really need to try and draw in the energies of heaven and the earth now."

  Draves just shook his head and left.

  Ok, now where was I?

  I sat back in my chair and started to figure out how I wanted to do this. I think I will start with conscious meditation and then move to void state meditation. Conscious meditation allows me to focus on one singular image or action. But void state meditation does a better job of sinking deeper into the unconscious and often allows for deeper understanding and enlightenment. So, first, let us focus on qi sense and then focus on that while moving into the void state.

  What I wanted was something that allowed me to see the qi. Focusing on that thought, I began to dive into what I call the first level of meditation. I don't know how long I stayed there, focusing on that desire, but at some point, I found myself moving deeper, letting go of all conscious thought. I don't know how much time passed, but I started to resurface as my body began to feel a slight… vibration. That seemed to be the best way to describe it. Without opening my eyes, I tried to reach out my senses, and suddenly, a whole new world opened up to me.

  It was still dark because my eyelids were shut, but I saw something. They were like little motes in the air. Like dusk in the light. I knew immediately that the idea was not my own. My mind had reached into my subconscious and found something I had read in a novel. It used that to construct a representation of something that was more spiritual than physical.

  Unfortunately, that old man was right. There were so few of them that I didn't know how I would ever gather enough to prepare for what was to come. I didn't give up. How could I. One of the main attributes of all heroes is that they never give up. That is what causes all the women to admire him even when he is weak. It is also a harem flag, so maybe I should give up. Nah, I have people to save. Besides, I could always act clueless even while being swarmed with every female lead.

  Also, having to work ten times harder to gather qi might ultimately strengthen my ability to do so and make me more efficient. Now, what was a popular qi-gathering method? Well, since I don't really have enough qi to create a core. Maybe I should focus on strengthening my channels.

  I spent the next month in meditation, doing nothing but gathering qi and strengthening my channels. Sometime during the second month, something happened. The amount of motes in the air suddenly multiplied by one hundred fold. The amount nearly knocked me out of my meditation. It was like going from trying to drink from one of those coffee stirrer straws to drinking from a fire hose. The Qi ripped through my unopened meridians, shattering them like a bullet through glass. This caused even more qi to start gathering.

  If I hadn't been spending all my time strengthening and widening my channels, they would have ruptured. As it was, I quickly started to gather the qi into a massive core. Besides Master Wang I was the only cultivator on this continent so the qi I was receiving was probably more than what was gathered even by masters on the other continent.

  Once my core was solidified, I decided to try something I had read in a different book. I would make more cores and spin them out like galaxy clusters around the center of the universe. I don't know how long I meditated, but when I felt I could produce more, I shattered my smaller cores into fragments and slowly started to spin those around a center. This caused my qi pool to magnify a hundredfold. I was now so full of qi that I felt like I would burst. I created black holes in my universe that would absorb the access qi. Hopefully, I will be able to get it back to you at some point.

  The power felt amazing, but I knew that with this power came calamity. Sects would form and oppress the weak. I had to stop Wang Gang. I activated a node along my channels and used a running technique to run out of my room. Within a second, I had accidentally ripped the door off its hinges and found myself on the training grounds.

  Everyone stared at me, but Captain Draves was the one to speak. "My lord, what happened to you, and what is that black gunk all over you? It smells awful."

  It was only then that I realized that my body had expunged the impurities. I had totally forgotten about that. "Hold on! I will be back in a bit." It only took me a minute to gather my clothes and run to the bathhouse. I scrubbed off the filth and left my old clothes to be burned. Then heeded back to Draves.

  "Captain, I have to leave and find Wang Gang. I must stop him from breaking the seals."

  Without any further discussion, I activated five nodes in order to create a flying sword and headed toward the source of qi.

  When I got there, I did not find Wang. I had no idea what to do but then remembered a technique a character used to uncover other cultivators' presence. I highly doubted Wang was trying to mask his qi. I sat in the lotus position and opened a node. I extended the range out five kilometers but found nothing. Then I added another, and then another after that. The range of my search seemed to grow exponentially. Finally, after thirty-two nodes, I found him. He was a long way away, and I could not take the time to get there by sword. I needed to figure out a faster way to travel.

  In the end, I decided to use my knowledge of light to convert my body into light particles, which was pretty much instantaneous travel. I was right next to Wang in less than a second. His hands were glowing, and with my mana sight, I saw a large symbol with a three-meter diameter. It had cracks running through it.

  "Stop, Wang Gang. Your desire for power will destroy this continent."

  The shocked look on his face was priceless. "How did you get here, disciple?"

  I grinned. "I used my qi and my knowledge of science to convert myself into light."

  "That is impossible!"

  "Ha, you have just coincidentally declared me the Main Character and created a doom flag for yourself. Now you can either submit to my will or perish."

  "Do not make me laugh. You are just a toad trying to eat swan meat."

  "Your Chinese idioms have no effect on me! I know my worth."

  "You dare!" Wang yelled at me.

  "Of course I do. I am the hero."

  "You are no hero. True power can only be mastered by those with tall men with lean muscles and a face that looks like it could be a girl's if not for the hairstyle and their anatomy. Your bulky muscles and rugged face could never be the body of a hero. Besides, you have not even mastered the sneer. The ultimate tool used to intimidate and break the will of others."

  With that, Wang Gang gave me a sneer that made my skin crawl and almost caused my knees to buckle. Dang, he was good. Nevertheless, I stood strong.

  "Your figurative face slapping has no effect on me."

  "If you will not bend a knee, then you must be destroyed. It is time for a fight scene! Yellow Dragons Fist of Furry and desolation technique technique."

  "Stupid name!" I said as his fist came flying towards me. "By the Power of Plagiarism, I have the power! Saiyan Shield."

  My shield appeared and blocked his attack. "You will have to do better than that if you want to beat me.

  "Ha, that was just to test you. I see that I wisely picked you as my disciple. Now it is time to humble you. Black Kangaroos Knife of Destruction Kick."

  "A good defense is a great offense. Bakugou Explosion!" As the kick came towards me, 18 nodes ignited, and Wang Gong was knocked back into the side of the mountain. He immediately jumped back out of the crater and wiped blood from his mouth. "Now, it is my turn before you can say any more ridiculous technique names. Feel the wrath of Moon Spiral Heart Attack."

  Dang, I did not mean to say that. I hope no one heard that. Focus Amos.

  "Scratch that. Let's go with Supreme Kamehameha! It will take ten episodes to actually complete the attack. But so we don't have to spew useless dialogue and wade through special effects, I will use the Kai version."

  When the dust and debris cleared from the attack, the mountaintop had been blown off, and Master Wang was nowhere to be seen. I sighed in relief until I heard laughter from behind me.

  "You fool, your attack took so long I had time to go to Panda express and eat a large plate meal even though the restaurant was packed. Now feel the fury of my most powerful art. Gravity of the Sun and All the Stars in the Universe Super Slam."

  Before his fist even connected with my body, I felt the crushing force of the stupidly named attack. My body slammed into the earth, and I coughed up blood. My vision started to go dark as I heard the old master's maniacal laughter above me. "You fool. You reach for the heavens but are crushed under my foot."

  I can't give up now; everyone is depending on me. I stumbled to my feet. My eyes were blurry.

  "Brave of you to get back up, you pathetic worm. But I have only been toying with you now; you will feel my wrath."

  I stood up straight and said, "No, now it is time for my most powerful attack. Super Tailed Beast Ball Rasenshuriken!"

  I rose into the air, and nine balls formed around me. Then they blasted Wang Gang into the mountain, destroying the rest of it.

  He lay there dazed but laughing. "You have destroyed the final seal yourself. Now, nothing is stopping this continent from gaining the power of qi."

  I smirked. "You are the fool here. While we were fighting, I used Mind Palace to memorize every portion of the seal and have learned to convert it into a spherical shape rather than a two-dimensional shape, making it hundreds of times more powerful.

  This surprised the old man. "Inconceivable!"

  I began to draw the glowing shapes in the air.

  "Even at a hundred times more powerful, it will not stop cultivators from coming and destroying your seal."

  "That is where you are wrong," I said with a smile.

  Wang Gang could feel that something was different about this. "Wait, what are you planning to do?"

  "Now I will feed it the most powerful thing on this planet. My Core!" With those words, I shattered my core, returning me to just a mere mortal. But all the energy of my Universe core as well as all the energy of the black holes were sucked into the orb causing it to rapidly expand and cover the entirety of Marth.

  "No, what is happening to me?" Master Wang said.

  "Because I transferred the power of my qi-absorbing black holes to the formation, it is not only blocking the corrupted cosmic energy you call qi, but it is also draining all the qi from the planet. Those cultivators who have used qi to extend their lives will now die."

  "Nooooooo! This cannot be happening," Wang Gang said as his body crumbled into dust.

  I looked around at the now devastated landscape. I had destroyed an entire mountain. I frowned for a moment and then shrugged and did a fist pump. "Boyah! It was totally worth it. I totally saved the world."

  Looking around again, I scratched the back of my head. "Huh, I wonder where I am."