Chapter 84: Goren: What's Left

  Goren walked back to his house, his steps slow, almost reluctant.

  His mind was still reeling from everything that had happened. Their failures – his failure. The weight of it all pressed down on him, suffocating, inescapable.

  They had fought against it. They had tried. But Erebus never gave them a chance.

  And now…in about half a day - or whenever Erebus fused with Gaelith inside the tomb - he would be fighting for his existence. Against someone he didn’t want to kill.

  No matter how it played out – he lost.

  But there was no escaping it.

  For as long as he could remember, life had always made the decisions for him. He never had a say. The one time he had tried to rebel – to team up with Spellsword despite the odds – Dolos had played them both. They were just pawns in a game they never had a chance of winning.

  He sighed deeply as he opened the door to his house and stepped inside.

  The house was quiet, just as he had left it.

  He walked to the kitchen counter, grabbed a handful of blackberries, and chewed them absentmindedly, their tartness grounding him. His gaze drifted to the kitchen window, to the blackberry bush growing outside - the one he had cared for while their mother was hospitalized.

  Goren chuckled under his breath, shaking his head.

  “I wanted to burn you down more times than I can remember.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “And in the end, you still exist because I kept you alive.” He exhaled slowly. “Wild…”

  Turning away, he made his way down the hall to his little brother’s room.

  He set up a stool beside the entrance and sat down, leaning back against the wall.

  And then, he just watched him.

  The steady rise and fall of his small chest. The peaceful expression on his face.

  Ben was already thirteen – the same age Goren was when their father abandoned them.

  Goren had never wanted to become his brother’s de facto father. He resented the weight of the responsibility, the unfairness of it all.

  But it happened. And he tried his best to give him a childhood.

  He could only hope Ben saw it that way too.

  Either way, right now, none of that mattered.

  Right now, he just wanted to watch him sleep.

  Something he might never be able to do again.

  ***

  When the morning came, Goren threw a shirt on his brother’s face. “Wake up.”

  Ben jolted awake, flailing as he tossed the shirt off. He sat up, his face still sleepy. “What the hell?” He yawned, rubbing his eyes. “Weren’t you supposed to leave for that quest already? What time is it?”

  “They canceled it.” Goren replied casually, moving the curtain aside and letting the morning sunlight flood the room.

  “Damn.” Ben replied, blinking against the light. “That sucks.”

  “A little.” Goren shrugged. “Get ready. We’re going to visit Mom.”

  Ben frowned, raising an eyebrow. “Visit mom? I have school, man.”

  “You can skip today.” Goren said. “As your legal guardian, I allow it.”

  Ben narrowed his eyes, suspicion making way through his sleepy expression. “But dude, we just visited her yesterday, and she’s coming home tomorrow. Why do you want to go again?”

  ‘Yesterday…’ Goren thought. ‘For me, yesterday was 119 days ago. I haven’t seen Mom in almost four months…’

  “Why not?” Goren countered. “When you grow up, you’ll understand – there will be days when you just want to forget everything and go to Mom. Just hug her and let it all go. Even if just for a little while.”

  Ben was quiet for a moment, then sighed. “I just hate that place. I wish tomorrow would come faster so she’d already be home.”

  Goren smiled weakly, his heart aching. “I wish that too. But for now, let’s go see her.”

  Ben exhaled, but eventually nodded. “Fine.”

  He rolled out of bed and started getting ready, while Goren left him alone to prepare, his heart pounding in his chest.

  There was so much he had to tell her.

  ***

  The clinic stood at the heart of the village. Unlike the bustling hospitals in the capital, this facility had an ancient feeling to it – built of wood. Its white color barely looking white anymore.

  Goren and Ben stepped inside, seeing the place mostly unoccupied like always. Some healers attended to patients and exchanged conversation, but they were very few and very scarce around the perimeter. The place had that herby smell to it which had always drawn Goren mad. Now, for some reason, it didn’t seem to bother him.

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  As they approached the front counter, a woman behind it glanced up from her papers. The moment her eyes landed on them, she broke into a warm smile.

  “If it isn’t the Shein boys!” She said, clasping her hands together.

  Goren smirked at the greeting. “Morning, Martha.” He said. “We’re here for Mom.”

  Martha tilted her head slightly. “But she’s being released tomorrow, not today. Did you two mix up the days?”

  “Nah, we know.” Goren assured her. “We just wanted to visit her.”

  Martha’s smile softened, her eyes filled with admiration. “You two are something else, you know that?” She sighed, shaking her head. “I’ve seen so many children leave their parents here and barely visit, moving on with their lives. Some don’t even ask about their treatments. But you two? Three days a week, without fail. Sometimes even more.”

  She glanced at Ben, and then back at Goren. “She’s in her room, feeling better than ever today. She’ll become even happier when she sees you two.”

  Goren gave a small nod. Before leaving, he felt he had to say something – maybe it was goodbye.

  “I appreciate it, Martha – everything you did for Mom. For all the years you helped her. Thank you.”

  Martha waved a dismissive hand. “Nonsense, Goren. That’s the part I love most about my job.” She smiled softly. “But hearing that means a lot. Thank you.”

  With that, Goren and Ben turned toward the hallway leading to their mother’s room, walking slowly until they reached it.

  Goren pressed the handle, and the door creaked open. They stepped inside, the familiar scent filling the air. The entire room was made of wood – walls, floor, and ceiling. A large window on the far side allowed streams of light to spill inside.

  Their mother sat upright on the bed, gazing out beyond the window with her piecing blue eyes. Her short dark hair, streaked lightly with silver, framed her kind face.

  She turned her head at the sound of the door, and the moment her eyes landed on her sons, her expression melted into a warm smile.

  “Boys!” She exclaimed, immediately stretching her arms. “What are you doing here?”

  Goren and Ben crossed the room in a flash, leaning down to her tightly. “Hey, Mom.”

  For a long moment, no one spoke – just the feeling of a mother’s embrace, a feeling Goren hadn’t realized he had missed so much.

  When they finally pulled back, she lifted her head at them, her eyes narrowing slightly. “But what are you two doing here?” Then, her gaze fell specifically on Ben, and her eyebrows lifted. “Shouldn’t you be in school, Ben?”

  Ben grinned mischievously and immediately threw Goren under the cart. “Goren said I can skip.”

  The mother’s gaze shifted to Goren, who simply shrugged, completely unbothered.

  “Some things are more important than school.” He said casually. “Family, for example.”

  Their mother shook her head, a soft laugh escaping her lips. “You’re impossible, Goren.”

  Goren chuckled, relieved to see her looking so much better. Just seeing her with Ben, smiling, feeling healthy – it made his heart ache from joy.

  But behind his laughter, behind the warmth of the moment, he felt the heaviness of his situation pressing down on him.

  He didn’t want to disappear.

  He didn’t want Spellsword to disappear, either.

  With one of them erased from existence, the other would surely lose against Erebus alone. The only one who wins is Dolos.

  Lost in thought, he barely noticed when his mother turned to Ben.

  “Hey, sweetheart, can you go ask Martha for some tea?" She said casually, but Goren knew better – she had picked up on his worries.

  Ben glanced between them, likely sensing the shift in the mood, but he nodded anyway. “Alright.”

  Once he left, his mother patted the bed beside her. “Come here.”

  Goren didn’t hesitate. He fell on his knees beside the bed, wrapped his arms around her tightly, and buried his face against her.

  “What’s wrong, baby?” She murmured, holding him just as tight. “Why aren’t you on that quest you told me about?”

  Goren clenched his jaw. His arms tightening around her, as if letting go meant losing her forever.

  “I messed up, Mom.” His voice was barely a whisper. “I did things. Bad things. Things that’d make you hate me.”

  Her hand threaded gently through his hair, soothing, patient. “Tell me.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t.”

  His mother let out a quest sigh, then rested her chin on top of his head. “Then I can only tell you this: my son is not capable of doing something so horrible – something unforgivable.”

  Goren let out a bitter laugh. “Oh, but I did, Mom.” He pulled back slightly, shaking his head. “I lost myself, Mom. When things got hard, I let myself sink. I hurt people who didn’t deserve it. I justified it with excuses, but it never stopped feeling wrong. And yet, I haven’t stopped. And now, it’s all coming down to bite me, and I don’t see a way out.”

  He swallowed hard. His voice cracked. “I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t if I even can. God, why am I so weak and useless?!”

  His mother’s hand cupped his face gently, forcing him to look at her.

  “Goren,” she said, her voice firm, but warm. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. I won’t allow it.”

  She let her thumb brush against his cheek, wiping away a tear he hadn’t even realized was there.

  “At thirteen, you dropped out of school so you could help around the house. You worked yourself raw, and at the same time trained to get that Adventurer License – because you didn’t want Ben to lose his childhood. You told me back then that you’d make sure he had the best childhood possible, no matter what.”

  Goren shook his head. “That was just what I was supposed to do.”

  “No, it wasn’t.” Her grip on him tightened. “I was terrified when I got sick, Goren. I thought we’d lose the house. I thought we’d be buried in debt. I even considered cancelling my hospitalization, ready to pay with my life, so you two wouldn’t have to pay with yours.” Her voice broke. “But you…my beautiful boy, you saved us.”

  Goren’s stomach twisted painfully when he saw the tears in her eyes.

  “Mom, don’t cry, please…I’m sorry.”

  She shook her head, smiling through the tears. “These aren’t sad tears, baby. They’re happy ones. You don’t even realize how proud I am to have a son such as you.” She held his face with both hands. “And no matter what you’ve done – no matter what you think is unforgivable – you understand that you did wrong. You want to change things and that means everything. You want to make it right, don’t you?”

  His throat tightened, he was close to crying himself. “Of course, I do. More than anything.”

  “Then you will.” She pressed a kiss on his forehead. “Because my son always finds a way.”

  For the first time in what felt like forever, Goren let himself cry.

  He didn’t want to leave this moment. He wanted to stay here, just a little longer.

  But an idea had already formed in his mind.

  He rose to his feet, wiping away the tears quickly just as Ben returned carrying a cup of steaming tea.

  “I love you, Mom.” Goren said, smiling weakly. “I’ll be right back.”

  “I love you too sweetheart, forever and ever.” His mother smiled back. “We’ll be waiting right here.”

  Goren didn’t say another word. He left the room, then the clinic. He made his way around the building, toward the quiet backside, where no one could hear him.

  And then, he called out.

  “Hey, you trash god!” his voice echoed against the walls. “I know you’re still watching me! You’re always watching! Well, listen up – I still have one wish left! You promised me three, and I haven’t used the last one yet.”

  He steadied his breath.

  “If you don’t bring me to your realm after this run, you’ll die, right? You’d break your own contract by not granting me my last wish.”

  Goren’s jaw clenched. He wished it was this easy to kill Dolos for good, but he knew the God of Lies and Deception already knew this himself. Goren knew that he would summon him to his realm either way. He just wanted to let him know that he knew this too.

  “Then don’t forget. Because I’m not letting you die from a technicality.” Goren said, shaking his head. “Oh, no! There’s a worse death reserved for you!”

  There was no response, of course.

  That to be expected.

  It didn’t matter to Goren. He knew the message had reached its destination.

  Then he turned and walked away, determined to spend the rest of the time he had with his loved ones.