It worked out well; he'd 'volunteer' in one of the city's gardens for the morning and then conveniently disappear to meet up with Olivia later in the day. He still preferred cooking, but gardening wasn't too bad of a way to relax.
The garden he found himself in was nice and located near the heart of the city, evidently being one of the better ones around. The structure was made of different sections fully enclosed with glass, providing some climate control for when winter rolled in. The insides were neatly ordered with clear signage for each area. Paths snaked their way through the building, splitting and merging while leaving pockets of earth in their wake large enough for greenery. These pockets housed flora of all different types, most of them unknown to Cal until he read the display post. He was currently working on a new exhibit, digging holes and transferring plants from pots to dirt.
It was the first day of the weekend, and the rest of the week had passed without any major incidents. The Justiciars hadn't approached him again. Given they'd not tried to slap cuffs on him yet, he was leaning toward that being a positive sign. The only other thing he'd done of note was pass the names off to the Spirit. That and take the economics test, but that was of dubious importance.
He might have also upset Marcus a tad if the way his text was ignored was any indication. Cal put 'making it up to him' in the maybe pile.
"Why does it seem like you're having fun?" Lily huffed behind him, arms crossed and still on the sidewalk. "I'm all for putting on an act to piss off Evergreen, but you seem to genuinely enjoy this."
Cal's fist closed around a clump of dirt and he flung it back. Lily flickered, dodging it with ease. He suspected she did it to annoy him; she didn't strike him as caring about a little dirt on her clothes.
"It's just something familiar. I struggled with it a bit, but getting something to grow is pretty cool."
His little windowsill planter was a far cry from this in terms of scale and variety, but he liked to think it was the same in principle.
She was silent for a moment, the only sound coming from the other 'volunteers' working in their areas.
"Alie told me you had to cook for yourself. Are you going to tell me you had to grow your own food as well?" Her voice had a joking tilt to it, and she followed up with some soft laughter. It grew increasingly hesitant and strained the longer it went without a response. "Forget I said anything."
She backtracked and went back to her work.
Strictly speaking, he should really stop talking about his past. Doing so meant inviting people to come in and poke holes into his story. However, as long as he made sure everything he said was unverifiable and consistent with itself... it was probably fine?
Yeah, he just needed to keep his story straight—easy enough as long as he stuck to some variation of the truth.
"Nothing that extreme. I only planted spices to cook with." The actual food was killed by him. "I wasn't in danger of dying via starvation."
Food being a luxury and not a necessity was a fact he learned early on.
The ghost of a connection in the back of his head came to his attention.
His relationship with food had been one with ups and downs. When he first came back to the land of the living, he'd almost forgotten eating was something that needed to be done. Then he'd begun hoarding it, grabbing and stashing away whatever was in arms reach.
Once he realized what he was doing, he went in the opposite direction, missing meals entirely at times. It was his way of exerting some control over his life. In hindsight, it was stupid.
Nowadays he didn't think too hard about it; he ate when he wanted. Simple as that.
She crouched near him, using a shovel to begin digging a hole of her own.
"That answers the question of you having a chef." He wasn't sure why she would come to the conclusion he'd have something like that. "So your mom was a bad cook then?"
The rock he'd been removing sat still in his hand. It was a remarkable feat; had it been a month ago, it would have been shattered at that comment.
He tossed it aside with a sigh. Albert was right; time away really was doing him some good. While the cabin was a refuge of sorts, at the end of the day it was Hers and there were constant reminders of that. He'd thought moving to the Federation would allow him to forget, but that turned out to be an impossible wish.
The Fourth was a big deal.
People constantly compared them; they didn't always say it, but he'd seen the look in their eyes. He knew what it meant.
Curiosity. Confusion. Fear.
He hated it.
Cal could not say he was a fan of the Empire, but it had allowed him to go days, weeks even, without thinking of Her.
It felt good, relaxing in a way.
And all it took was some idiots who wanted to condemn an entire city. He decided to make it quick once he found out their identities, a form of thanks on his part.
Of course, not being on a constant hair-trigger didn't mean he'd not try to put a hole through Her face the next time they saw each other.
Transferring another plant to the dirt and idly infusing some growth magic into it, he noticed Lily giving him furtive glances.
It didn't look like she would push the issue. His eyes traced back to the plant beginning to lay roots. It was small and frail now, but with time it would grow. Wasn't it about time he did some of that himself?
"I don't know. Never saw her try."
He responded, not for her but for him. Cal needed to be able to talk about it.
"Did you guys always eat out or did neighbors help you out?"
The neighbors were much more concerned with eating them than helping.
"This was before moving to the village; we lived fairly isolated."
Cal imagined she thought him to be referring to the countryside and not one of the most inhospitable places on the planet. The only other place that could contend with it was the deep ocean, but that was something difficult to confirm.
"Just you two?"
She continued her line of questioning, and Cal took a breath, steadying himself before responding.
"Yep."
Millie was the second person he'd met, and that had been years after living in this world. If it wasn't for the field guide, he would have expected there to be no world outside the Waste.
"Was it because your father wanted to keep you a secret?"
That wasn't a factor in the equation that he knew. Mindful of his cover, Cal shrugged and answered in a noncommittal fashion.
"I couldn't say."
Lily seemed to mull over that, continuing her line of questioning.
"Was she trying to protect you then?"
Had he not been extra conscious of his actions, something bad might have just happened then. He fought the instincts to shut down the conversation, to move on to something else, or to storm out.
"No."
Try as he might, the resentment in his voice was thick. She'd done the exact opposite of that. His earliest memories here involved her trying to kill him. He'd returned the favor as soon as he was able. The list of failures against one another was long.
Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.
He would succeed one day, that much he was certain. It was inevitable. With each passing day, each core consumed, he grew stronger.
"I don't know what to say to that." Lily was digging the same hole; it was far deeper than it should be, and Cal suspected her not to have realized it. "It doesn't sound like she knew how to raise you. No offense. Why keep away from everyone?"
Because it wasn't about protecting him.
It was about protecting everyone else from him. She thought him something he wasn't.
Millie had originally been under the same delusion. The star in his pocket showed she'd quashed those thoughts.
Cal chewed on his cheek, drawing blood in his carelessness. He funneled magic into the wound, sealing it.
"I wasn't expected."
People not knowing what to do with him was a common theme in this life.
"That's a shitty excuse."
Lily made her thoughts known in a gruff voice. Cal agreed with her. There were reasons for what happened to him.
That didn't make it alright.
That didn't make him alright.
Had he not had previous memories to fall back on, he might have become akin to what She thought.
However, his moral compass was battered and skewed, but it remained intact. He had a sense of right and wrong, as inconvenient as it was at times.
Cal patted the dirt gently, careful not to pack it too tightly and suffocate the plant. Unlike the ones he'd visited with Alice, everything here had its designated space, so there was no danger of encroachment. A greenhouse like this was much easier to work with, with fewer variables to consider.
Ecosystems were complicated. Even if someone thought themselves to be doing good by removing a problematic element from them, that might have a catastrophic effect on the rest of the system. That didn't mean leaving it alone, but it did mean proper solutions could take time and involve compromise.
This greenhouse wasn't his responsibility, and he didn't much care for those who ran it. The fates of the plants inside should have no bearing on his decisions; he had nothing to do with them.
Yet as much as he shouldn't, he gave a shit.
"You okay over there?"
Lily followed up and he detected a hint of concern.
"I'm fine," Cal responded in a clipped tone. Talking about it was one thing, but he wasn't out for sympathy. He'd gotten this far largely by himself; he neither wanted nor needed pity.
Cal was a liar. He lied to the Empire, he lied to the Federation, he lied to everyone and anyone.
Naturally, he was not excluded from that number.
"Must be in the blood," Lily muttered. She had a wry grin on her face as if she were laughing at some inside joke. "Normal people can't barrel through everything on their own. That both of you do so is telling."
It felt like it should be a compliment, but he couldn't help but take some offense to it. His situation was wholly different than Alice's.
"Excuse me," A young man stepped forward from the side. Cal had been introduced to him earlier; Ethan was his name. He was here on his own volition and as a fellow student. Also, their supervisor, but Cal didn't put much stock in that. "I was told to keep you two apart…"
Ethan had a conflicted look on his face. Cal needed a break and decided to kill Lily's argument before it fully formed.
"Go back to your plot. No reason to make his job harder than it needs to be," he said while waving her off.
Lily looked to weigh the pros and cons before relenting and leaving, sparing him a single glance on her way out.
Ethan stood there awkwardly with his lanky hands at his side. His eyes traveled between them until Lily rounded the corner and disappeared from view.
"Did you need something else?" Cal asked after seeing the man rooted in place. Ethan had been hands-off today, giving them brief instructions and then running off to take care of something. "I think I've been doing everything like you said."
He wasn't familiar with the species he was planting, so he hoped there was no special treatment he was meant to be doing.
"Magnae Viriditas are resilient; we wouldn't let newcomers handle them otherwise." Ethan walked over, raising a brow at the pit Lily dug. Cal looked back to where Lily had gone, and the man nodded in understanding. "She is a repeat customer; we try to keep her away from anything living."
That was one of the most reasonable things Cal had heard all week.
"What's your deal then? There's got to be a reason you're here on the weekend."
Cal figured a noble wouldn't be as altruistic to donate their time for nothing.
"Family duties," Ethan responded simply. He began to elaborate on seeing Cal's questioning look. "You probably don't know my house, but we're a cadet branch of the Evergreens."
Looking at Ethan, Cal could see the resemblance.
"Does that mean..." Cal deliberately trailed off, leaving room for Ethan to confirm he was related to the deputy who hated Cal's guts.
"Correct, we're cousins by marriage. However distant."
The man gestured between them, and it dawned on Cal that he was referring to the two of them.
"Neat," Cal supplied, bereft of any response to that. With the way nobles intermingled, he was betting there were more loose connections like that around campus. "That it?"
Cal wasn't trying to be rude, but it felt like Ethan had more to say.
"I wanted to privately express my support."
That string of words was not something he anticipated coming out of the stranger's mouth. Cal knew the deputy headmistress had punished him for nonsensical reasons, and it was sort of nice to have someone close to her confirm that. Still, nobles were fairly hierarchical, so it was strange to have one come out against a member of the main house. Unless he meant to make a play against that house, but if so, approaching Cal about it was a bizarre decision.
"Thanks, I appreciate it."
Cal opted not to overthink it, taking it at face value for now. Wondering how long it had been, he checked his phone for the time and saw that he still had a few more hours of mandatory labor before he could be set loose and rendezvous at Olivia's bar.
When he looked up, he saw Ethan still there; only his gaze had shifted to the ground near Cal. Specifically towards the plant he'd been tending to. Confused, Cal backed up and raised his hands. Ethan had just said the thing was tough; whatever was wrong wasn't on him. Lily had probably messed with it for a laugh.
Ethan paced forward and gingerly crouched by the small piece of flora. His hand slowly lifted a leaf, and his brow furrowed.
"Something the matter?"
Cal spoke after a full minute had passed. There was no reply, and more time slipped past without any answers as to what Ethan was investigating.
"Did you do anything to this?" Ethan asked. It was more of a perplexed tone than accusatory.
"Plant it?" Cal didn't know why the plant was garnering such an interaction. Nothing had stood out to him about it.
Ethan pawed at the soil and unearthed the roots for inspection. Eventually, he rose satisfied.
"Sorry, exams this week had me study long hours, and I must not be getting enough sleep. Please proceed; I'll be around if you need me." With his piece said, Ethan was walking away when he paused. "And I meant what I said. You two make a good pair. I'm rooting for you."
The remark caught him off-center, and he scoffed once he realized their meaning. This damn school and their stupid rumors.
Well, what was one more lie?
Yep, no blood relation whatsoever. It was a lie concocted by Millie to feed to the Federation. Cal and the Fourth went along with it, the latter being browbeaten by Millie. Not that the Fourth would ever admit to that happening. The only ones aware of the truth are the three of them.
Mother? He still couldn't believe anyone could use those words to describe Her. Although, he admitted that was partially his fault.
She may have been responsible for bringing him into this world but, no matter what anyone else said, she was never his mother.
Those are the two lines that I think were the closest to spilling the beans, but I also might have forgotten about other hints I planted. It's been a while.
Anyways, it goes something like this:
- Fourth is called in to stop a summoning
- She kills the practitioners but opts to let it finish
- Baby Cal pops out.
- Weird but she fully thinks it's a demon and doesn't think too hard before trying to kill him.
- Fails, which is extra weird because killing things is her thing. Tries a few more times to no effect and says fuck it, I'll take it with me.
- She dumps it at her cabin because that's the safest place she could keep it. If she couldn't kill it the Federation certainly couldn't and this way she could keep an eye on it. Again, no part of her brain was thinking this was anything but a demon. It was just a weird demon.
- Cal basically survives like this for seven years, figuring things out and throwing himself to the beast outside daily in an attempt to get stronger.
- Millie visits one day, sees Cal and thinks "wtf is a kid doing here."
- The fourth says it's a demon. Millie is skeptical so Fourth explains circumstances. Millie is new to constellation at this point and fourth is senior to her so she opts for trust but verify approach. This is why she told Cal they didn't start off on the right foot, she feels guilty for not getting him out immediately.
- Millie realizes he's not a demon and takes him to the Federation. Claiming he's the son of the Fourth makes things easier and explains away a lot of his weirdness. Particularly, his conspicuous ability to not die. The Fourths schtick is killing things, her son being unkillable makes a certain amount of sense. The hope was his connection to two constellation members would protect him. Which it did and was until Mask stuck their fingers in the pot and went stirring away.
Also, the similarity of Cal letting the summoning complete in Chapter 1 and the Fourth doing so is a complete coincidence.