A school of fish swim through a moody, storm-lit sea.

  “The old way is dead!” they declare.

  Blood runs on a rusty hook.

  “The old way is murder!” warn the fish.

  “And nothing spoils our flavour like being murdered!” say the fish—who suddenly begin to dance.

  “Say no to killing!” they cry.

  Then—BOOM. The bass drops heavy and hard.

  “And say yes… to a revolution!”

  Cut to: Three fishmen, resplendent in their two-dollar shop tiaras, arms aloft, summoning.

  A calm, artificially intelligent voice speaks:

  “Thanks to a breakthrough in Aquatic Self-Selection? Technology…”

  A fish moves in slow motion, leaping into a net—fulfilling its destiny.

  “Our fish swim willingly toward their fate!”

  The net rises.

  The fish expires.

  Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

  And yet… it winks.

  And finally, a star wipe reveals the logo.

  Fish Direct? - Seafood with Enthusiastic Consent.

  In a way, it was the perfect ad for the internet era.

  Accidental genius. The best kind.

  And boy, did the internet climb on board.

  X/Twitter Reacts

  The commentary came in fast and furious.

  ?? WHAT DID I JUST WATCH?

  ?? That winking fish. The STAR WIPE! I need a lie down.

  ?? How many times is it safe to consume this ad? Me: YES.

  ?? THEY’RE MAKING FISH WOKE NOW? SHUT IT DOWN!

  ?? The radical left want to make fishing a crime!

  TikTok Goes Insane

  ?? People flood the platform with Fish Direct? dance videos.

  ?? DIY fish costumes appear overnight, selling for top dollar.

  ?? The #VolunteerFishChallenge goes viral.

  ?? Someone remixes the ad into a bass-boosted nightcore edit.

  The News Tries to Make Sense of It

  Journalists don’t know what to do with this.

  A selection of hot takes:

  ?? “Fish Direct?: Ethical eating or dystopian nightmare?”

  ?? “Volunteer fish: Fact or fiction?”

  Some focus on the ad itself:

  ?? “Genius marketing or total calamity?”

  ?? “The winking fish that changed the world.”

  The first wave of orders were meant as jokes. You could tell by the sarcastic customer notes, which said things like:

  ??If possible, I’d like a fish that died doing what it loved.

  ?? “I’d like the fish that leapt into the net with the most enthusiasm!”

  ?? “I want a fish who was truly at peace with its decision.”

  But joke or not, the pranksters paid the money, and they would get their fish.

  Gary made sure of that.

  And when the fish came, they were cheaper and fresher than the ones at the supermarket. And slowly, the ironic orders turned into legitimate demand.

  By the end of week one, they’d had over a thousand orders. Sure, it wasn’t on par with Thorne Oceanic, which moved over 20 million fish per month.

  A thousand orders was nothing.

  And yet, it was a start.