Alfread never looked back.

  “I love him,” Asa confessed.

  Zander closed his eyes. “That’s not what he saw.” Sighing, he thought of Alfread’s nightmares. Zander couldn’t tell her about that. Not now.

  “I was scared,” she whispered, crumpling on the ground outside the west gate.

  Zander sat beside her, watching Alfread enter the Impwood. “Scared?”

  Asa put her head in her hands. “If I showed him how much I wanted to be with him, he would use it against me.” Zander had never heard words come through such misery as the next three. “Like everyone else.”

  Her sobs softened Zander’s heart. As soldiers and camp followers crowded the ramparts to watch, he burst to his feet. “Get back to your duties!”

  They scurried from the wall, cats scattered by the dog’s bark.

  He reached out his hand to her, gesturing for her to grab hold, and led her out of the encampment so they could speak in peace. Her hand in his, he felt like he could understand her, despite how foolish it seemed to push away the person you wanted to be close too. He knew what it was like to expect people to leave, to watch them go, and to believe that nobody would stay with you until the end.

  His understanding passed through his gentle grip, like light breaking through curtains. There was a softness to her as she opened the curtains wider for him to see her more clearly. “I wanted to spend every moment with him. Absorbing his wisdom, laughing at his rhyming jests, stealing his smiles. He wasn’t the first to use sweet words on me, but his were the sweetest.

  “It was his kindness that scared me. All my life, people have lulled my defenses with big promises, with high praise. From my father swearing he’d stop drinking, to the man who took my virginity telling me he loved me, and on, and on. I was so scared he would hurt me too, and I didn’t know if I could let my hopes up when it always ends the same.

  “Each hesitation of his was proof that he didn’t truly care for me beyond the way the others did. He would convince me it was love when it was always just lust, either for my power or my body. He would take what he wanted, then leave me in the darkness again all alone. The better he played the part of someone who cared, the more I wanted him to truly love me, the more convinced I became that he was just better at playing the game.”

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  Asa gasped, wiping at her eyes with her free hand. Zander wished he could hug away her pain, wished she could do the same for him. Right now, Alexia was in Sapphirica being courted by some prince because some people were just destined to be left behind. The tears worked their way through his ducts too. At least, he wouldn’t be left behind alone anymore. Until she left him too. Still, despite the knowing that she’d leave, he clung to her, desperate for the kinship of his sister now that his brother was gone.

  “And despite it all,” Zander said, “you hoped that this time would be different.”

  “Yes,” she cried.

  Zander felt like a wall of bricks struck by a meladonite hammer. “That is why you tried to charm me. To kill the hope before it swallowed you whole.”

  She nodded. “I know I’m a fool,” she said, meeting his eyes. “I deserve this. Just like I deserved all the others.”

  Zander shook his head. He ran a hand through her hair. “No. You made mistakes, but you’re still a good person, Asa.”

  Her aura darkened. “I’m not. I’m just a pretty face hiding behind this aura. I deserve to be alone. You’ll leave me too in the end.”

  Zander chuckled. “Not if you leave me first.”

  Asa snorted. “Not a chance.” She nudged his arm. “You’re a hero. Eventually you’ll wise up and leave me behind.”

  “A hero?” Zander sighed. “What kind of a hero nearly kills his best friend? I’m a monster. My life’s mate left me behind because she knew I’d screw it all up for her. You,” he nudged her back, “are a shining light.”

  After a few moments of silence among the Mirrevar flowers, Zander continued, “He never saw you as just a pretty face and an aura. You were the Radiant, the star that would guide him through his darkest nights and brighten his brightest days.” Zander studied her, her aura growing radiant, even as her gaze fell.

  Hope flared within him. Asa could still be that person. If Alfread understood, and she never knew anyone to be as understanding as Alfread and his mother, he’d still see the Radiant.

  Zander looked forward, toward the Impwood where Alfread now rode from his life’s mate, a choice that would cause them all unnecessary suffering. He looked backward, into one of his favorite stories. Mirielda had needed to stop Evan from leaving without her. Evan tried to leave her behind, not wanting Mirielda to give up her life to be with a lowborn cripple. Mirielda had to chase him into the Impwood, had to open his eyes to make him understand. Zander looked forward again, toward a future where two of his best friends could be happy.

  “It is not too late,” he said. “Go after him!”

  “And break my heart all over again?” She shook her head. “I can’t keep doing this.”

  “Is it worse to risk a twice-wounded heart or to have the certainty at never being whole? Hard as it is, I know what I would choose every time.”

  Asa plummeted to the ground. “I can’t. I can’t, Zander. I’m not you. I’m not strong.”

  Zander blew the air out of his nose like a bull rearing for the charge. One didn’t give up so easily when they were struck down. They rose up and finished strong. “Then I’ll go for you.”