7/19

  Los Angeles, California

  An upper-middle class suburb

  10:45 AM

  “Ham, this ain't your case.” Detective Adelaide didn't like Hamilton Jones. She wanted him gone. Gone before he-

  Detective Hamilton glanced down at the body once. It was covered up, but still in place so the crime scene guys could do their magic. “It's the clown. It's my case.”

  Hamilton and Adelaide stood on the lawn in front of Kevin Derry's house. The beat cops had already taped off the area, and a murmuring crowd of about a dozen were behind the lines.

  Adelaide thought that she had this one in the bag. Multiple stab wounds, trail of blood leading up to the house next door. They still hadn't gotten clearance to go in there yet, but the killer had to be inside.

  Adelaide didn't want this to be a monster murder. She wanted a regular old fashioned murder. So she asked Hamilton, “And how the fuck do you figure it's your case?”

  Hamilton casually pointed at the corpse that was lying on the sidewalk. “No defensive wounds, all wounds on the top of the corpse. It's my monster. Same with the other victims. He paralyzes his prey, they fall, he stabs. It stabs.”

  “Okay and what about my blood trail?” Adelaide asked. “Think your clown had a house key and walked inside?” She shook her head. “Nah, whoever killed Kevin Derry just walked back home.” She checked her phone. The judge still hadn't gotten to her with the warrant to enter 3435 Flauten St. There was a damn blood trail. How much more did Judge Brennan need?

  Hamilton scratched the back of his shaved head. He never liked revealing his cards until he had to. “Okay, it went like this. Kevin comes out this morning to go to work. He walks to his car. Perfectly normal. He sees something strange, something that scares him. There's a clown in front of his neighbor's house. A clown with bloody hands. Kevin runs, or tries to. The monster runs too, but is faster. Kevin makes it just 15 feet, gets to the sidewalk before my guy's power zaps him. Kevin falls forward, hard. He can't move. The monster attacks Kevin. First the legs, then the arms and then the head. Then, and this is the real trick, he teleports away.”

  Adelaide was incredulous. “Yeah, that's quite a story.” She shook her head. “Please, for the love of God, just don't write it down anywhere. I don't want a defense lawyer digging that load of crap up and slapping it in my face at trial.”

  Hamilton shrugged, then went through it. “Kevin was found 15 feet from his car, which is in the driveway. He'd collapsed, face down, onto the sidewalk. His keys were four feet into the street. So he either chucked his keys, the perp chucked his keys, or they slid forward out of his hand when he hit the dirt.”

  Adelaide wasn't impressed yet. “So he ran, wow, amazing deduction, oh master sleuth.”

  Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

  Hamilton continued. “The blood trail is spread out closer to the house, and clustered close to the body.” He held his hand up to stop Adelaide before she could interject. “So two options. One, the perp walked slowly, dripping a lot as he started walking away from Kevin, then ran into the house. Two, the perp, the monster, ran towards Kevin, then when Kevin got paralyzed and fell, he slowed down and walked up to him.”

  “You're saying he ran fast, then slowed as he approached, instead of slow then fast away from the body. Looks like that could go either way.” Adelaide rolled her shoulder like she was getting ready for a fight. “I think the perp scared the victim, sure. Kevin trips on the sidewalk, falls. The perp attacks, then retreats. You got anything to disprove my obviously correct theory?”

  Hamilton showed Adelaide his phone. It was Kevin Derry's last social media post.

  At 1:32 AM Kdawg94 wrote:

  “Finally got through Terrifier 3 last night! I think that I'm perma scared of clowns now guys!”

  22 Likes, 1 Comment

  “My clown is a horror movie monster, from the Hollywood sign dungeon,” Hamilton said, taking his phone back. “He can only paralyze people who are afraid of clowns. He appears and disappears like a ghost. Or your typical there-and-gone slasher villain. We know the Dracosys skimmed the internet to make itself. I've been working on a theory that some of the monsters are still using the internet for behavior, powers, et cetera.”

  Adelaide hated the Dracosys. Hell, the whole world did, mostly. But as an LAPD Detective, she hated it because it introduced a level of nonsense into her job that was, frankly, impossible to deal with.

  “Also I'm testing my theory right now,” Hamilton said. He was looking down at his phone, tapping away. Adelaide took a few steps to get in Hamilton's personal space so she could see his screen.

  At 10:52 AM Patriotscanbitemyblackass2 wrote:

  “Finally got through Terrifier 3 last night! I think that I'm perma scared of clowns now guys!”

  0 Likes

  “Look Hamilton, I know you've got a rep as the monster hunter cop, but not every killer in LA is a damn...” Adelaide trailed off as she heard footsteps coming from around Kevin Derry's car. Nobody should have been behind the car.

  Adelaide turned to see a three foot tall monster clown. Its head was half its height, dark red curls coming around a bald white head. It had all the clown makeup, but no eyes, nose, mouth or ears. Its fingers were tipped with sharp, short knife blades that dripped with blood. It ran forward and-

  Hamilton's taser shot prongs into the clown. The clown stuttered as the taser shocked it. The sharp click click click of electricity popped in Adelaide's ears. The clown fell.

  “Are you leveled?” Hamilton asked, casually walking over to the tiny murder clown. Adelaide nodded. “Then take the shot and get the kill.” Hamilton rolled the clown over with his boot, then yanked the taser's fangs out of the monster.

  Like most cops, Adelaide hadn't killed anyone. She drew her gun cautiously and flipped the safety off. She walked over to the clown. Face down, it looked like a tiny person. A tiny person who had knives for fingernails. And a head without a face. It was definitely creepy, but maybe still just a creepy ass guy.

  “I'm not killing this guy,” she said firmly. She knew her body cam was on. “I don't have proof that it, or he, isn't human.”

  Hamilton looked up at her, then down at the monster. The monster twitched once, then flipped up onto its feet. The sudden movement just barely startled Adelaide. And just barely startled counted as scared, as far as the system was concerned. And scared meant Adelaide immediately fell over, conscious but completely paralyzed.

  Hamilton punted the clown into the side of Kevin Derry's 2018 Dodge Challenger as he drew his side arm. The clown tilted its blind head up just in time to see(?) Hamilton bury a bullet in its brain(?). The monster's head exploded into confetti and the creature dropped.

  Adelaide couldn't move, except for her eyes. She could close her eyes, so she could check her menus. She immediately noticed she had a status effect on her.

  Scared Stiff

  Duration: 23 seconds remaining

  Hamilton was yelling for an ambulance. The beat cops rushed over. And just as everyone started freaking out about her, Adelaide pushed herself off her stomach and sat up.

  “Just a temporary debuff. I'm fine.” She picked a few blades of grass out of her hair.

  Hamilton nodded, then immediately went to study the monster. That freak loved studying these monsters.

  Adelaide sighed. She really just wanted to solve normal murders again.