The early light of a new dawn has begun to peek over the city’s grand walls, painting its paved roads a gentle orange hue, while the sounds of people beginning their day has only barely begun to trickle out into its dimly lit streets.

  It’s a new day in Gran Torte and—most importantly—our first day as adventurers!

  After signing up at the Adventurers Guild and accepting our first quest, the day had grown quite late, and so we decided to use the rest of our evening to familiarize ourselves with the city while ordering the equipment we needed for our quest with plans to collect it in the morning before we departed. Renting out a single room on the second floor of the guild using the money Bran made from selling my vomit, we all got an early night’s rest so we could wake up at the crack of dawn.

  However, after collecting the equipment we ordered the previous day, it seems we’ve run into a bit of a problem this morning...

  “Why?!” the cause of the problem complains, already in a bad mood as he scratches irritatedly at his purple head. “I told you she was going to do something stupid if you let her, so why did you let it happen in the first place?!”

  It’s Bran. And right now he’s angry at me for reasons I don’t know, while yelling at Mei-Mei for some equally unknown reason.

  Mei-Mei sighs in response, grinding her teeth against the lit cigarette hanging from her lips in annoyance. “Fine, I will admit this is partially my fault, yes. Unfortunately, ‘combat’ isn’t exactly my area of expertise, so I mistakenly put my trust in Pepper in hopes that, since this was the one thing she was actually knowledgeable on, she would take it a little more seriously... Clearly that was an error on my part.”

  “Well, what am I supposed to do then?!”

  “You can try and return it. But it’s possible they won’t take it back, in which case you’re just going to have to go without for now.”

  Yesterday while Mei-Mei was busy planning our adventure, she set aside a bunch of money and instructed me to buy armour and equipment for those of us that might need it. Mostly just Bran, I think. All I need to fight and protect myself is brute strength and muscle, Biscuit’s got her quick feet and sharp nails, and Mei-Mei’s pockets seem to always be bursting with clever little tricks she likes to pull out when things get intense. And so I went out looking for something even someone like him might be able to use in a fight.

  In the end, I managed to find something cool I really liked and blew all our money on it. In my opinion, it was definitely worth it though! But, after coming to collect it this morning along with everyone else, it seems the others might not agree...

  “Fwah!” I exclaim, holding up the set of metal armour to show the group. “Bikini armour! Isn’t it cool?”

  “No, it’s not!” Bran complains. “You were supposed to get something I could use to protect myself with! I wouldn’t trust these tiny strips of metal to protect a person’s nipples from the exposed air, let alone a stray knife in the chest! What am I supposed to do with this?!”

  Oh, right. I got so excited by the idea of bikini armour that I ended up forgetting Bran was going to be the one wearing it. Which, I now realize, is something I really really wouldn’t want to see happen.

  “This isn’t even a blacksmith’s or anything! This is literally just an adult store!” Bran continues to grumble as he takes the armour back into the shop I bought it from, the rest of us standing outside in wait.

  To pass the time, I watch in idle amusement as the small goblin girl we brought along snaps and screeches at the occasional passer-by while Biscuit tries to gently coax her into waiting quietly beside me and Mei-Mei again.

  “We taking her with us?” I ask Mei-Mei, nodding to the little green troublemaker.

  “I’d prefer not to, as she’s only going to be a nuisance,” Mei-Mei replies. “I was planning on leaving her in Mash’s care for the time being, though I wouldn’t have a clue where that greasy idiot is right now, or if he’s still even in the city, so I’m not really sure what to do with her...”

  Come to think of it, I haven’t really seen much of Mash after the tournament either. I guess he just recently lost his job as a slaver, so he’s probably got a lot on his plate right now.

  “Have you tried asking Rizo what she wants to do?”

  “Rizo...?”

  “Spicy Chorizo. Maybe there’s something she wants to do or somewhere she wants to be. I would ask her, but you’re the only one here who understands goblin.”

  “What kind of ridiculous name—? Keh, whatever. No, I suppose I haven’t tried asking her yet. Though I’m not exactly expecting a coherent answer...” Sighing, Mei-Mei waves the little Chorizo toward her, who in return scuttles over curiously.

  “We’re leaving the city on a quest,” Mei-Mei explains to the little green girl, speaking slowly while making broad gestures with her arms. “What would you like to do? Would you like to come? Or is there somewhere you’d like to go in the meantime?”

  “Ku...?” The goblin seems to ponder the question for a while, before breaking out into a torrent of its usual screeches, flailing her arms about wildly, slapping her chest, and gnawing at her own fingers. All the while with Mei-Mei carefully listening to—what I can only comprehend as—complete goblin nonsense.

  “What’d she say?” I ask as the goblin finally comes to a stop.

  “It’s possible something’s been lost in translation...” Mei-Mei replies, rubbing her brow in puzzlement. “She told me her father is the Four-Armed Goblin King, and that he ate the arms of his children to prevent any of them from eventually overthrowing his rule. As one of the children whose arms were taken from her, she chose to run away in hopes of supporting an opposing monarch that could rival him.”

  “Fweh? But she’s still got both her arms though.”

  “Well, if I’m to believe what I think she’s trying to tell me, she was born with four arms, and two of them were eaten by her father.”

  Hm...? Something about a four-armed goblin sounds vaguely familiar to me for some reason... Well, I guess it doesn’t matter if I can’t remember. It’s probably not related anyway.

  “But...” Mei-Mei continues, mumbling to herself. “I’ve never heard of Curses being passed down to one’s offspring. I suppose the sample size of Cursed individuals has been far too slim to conduct a proper study. Not to mention, the fact that she has two Curses would imply that it's less of an 'illness' and more a kind of 'mutation' that affects the genetic makeup of a person at birth, making it possible to pass those same traits on to...”

  Uninterested in her mumbled ramblings, I quietly review the details of today’s quest in my mind.

  As we were told in the Adventurers Guild yesterday, our mission is to hunt down a group of bandits—female bandits, to be exact! Apparently an all-girl group of misfits has been terrorizing the countryside, specifically targetting men and large-breasted women for some unknown reason. Though I don’t know how they figured that last one out. Our job is to seek this group out and shut down the bandit leader, putting an end to her and the activities of her little gang. The reason why such a dangerous-sounding job has been put in the hands of us newbies is because, despite robbing and beating up a bunch of people, they haven’t actually killed anybody when it’s evident that they clearly have the skill to do so. Because of that, the quest has been made available to us F-Ranks for the time being when it really probably shouldn't have.

  Snapping back onto the scene, I find the little green Chorizo loudly pestering Mei-Mei about something, and the two of them arguing back and forth.

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  “Keh!” Mei-Mei scoffs at her. “What do you mean you want to join the Queen’s Royal Guard? Why would she let you do something like that?”

  “Kiiiipipi!”

  “I don’t think she cares about this so-called ‘Four-Armed Goblin King’ in the first place! What threat could a group of goblins pose against the military might of a woman who essentially owns the entire world?”

  “Kiiiiiiii! Kiipiiii!”

  “Well, I suppose it’s true that a lot of her immediate and closest guards are out of action due to being injured by Lust, but—”

  “Kii! Kii! Kii!”

  “Keh... This is so stupid... Fine.” Mei-Mei sighs, before turning to me and Biscuit. “Dammit, I’m going to take this stupid goblin to the Queen because I’ve somehow been convinced that it’s not a terrible idea. I don’t know what’s taking Bran so long, but once he’s done, come meet me at the city’s west gate. Biscuit, make sure the gorilla doesn’t do anything stupid. I’ll see you soon.”

  And with that, Mei-Mei walks briskly down the street and out of sight, dragging little Rizo along behind her. At a glance, you could almost mistake them for two young girls, playfully frolicking about the city’s streets. Until you realize one of them is deathly pale and smoking a cigarette, while the other is green and happily chomping down on a rat she just fished out of a gutter.

  A while after the two leave, Bran eventually exits the store, empty-handed and looking still very much annoyed.

  “Get our money back?” I ask.

  “No.”

  “Damn. So where’s the bikini armour then?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Okay...?”

  Dropping the discussion of the cute bikini armour with the grumpy man, the three of us begin to make our way to the west gate as Mei-Mei instructed. Putting aside the problem of weapons and armour, all of our other important necessities needed for our little adventure have been properly packed away into bags, with Bran ending up carrying the bulk of it. He did complain about it at first, but eventually conceded when he realized it was literally the only thing he could do to actually help the party. Of course, I wouldn’t mind lugging around the extra weight for an added workout, but Mei-Mei was concerned that it might slow down my reaction time if something unexpected happened, or that I might do something stupid like lose it by accident. And technically, Bran is somehow the second strongest member of our group in terms of physical strength, so it’s not like we’re doing it just to bully him or anything.

  During our walk, I notice many people busy decorating the streets and store-fronts with ornaments and banners, as if preparing to celebrate some kind of event.

  “What’re they setting all this up for?” I ask, turning to Bran and Biscuit. “Some kind of festival or something?”

  Biscuit shrugs. “I’ve n-never been to this city before...”

  When I look to Bran for an answer, he scratches awkwardly at his purple head in discomfort. “Ah, I guess you two wouldn’t know... I technically used to live in this city for a while, so I’ve seen it a few times...”

  “Seen what?”

  “The, uh... The ‘Burning Festival’, I guess you could call it. There’s a parade that goes through the city and it usually ends with them burning the main float once it reaches the plaza.”

  “Fweh? Sounds fun! Why do they burn it?”

  “Uh...” Bran averts his gaze from mine as we continue our walk down the street. “W-well.. It’s a yearly event to celebrate the Queen single-handedly ridding the city of... uh, something that was threatening the city at the time...”

  “Fwah! As expected of Greed of the Seven! What was it? Bandits? Monsters?”

  Before Bran can answer, I notice a lot of activity coming from up ahead. Turning onto a new street, it seems a lot of people are busy putting together—what looks like—the main float for the upcoming parade. The one that’s supposed to be burned in the plaza later today. The one that looks exactly like...

  “Demons...” Bran answers.

  “... Fweh?”

  “Today would be the twenty-fifth anniversary of the day Queen Kokoro single-handedly chased Demon Queen Gluttony and her demon Blackspawn from the ruins of the city, never to be seen again. W-well, up until recently when she showed up at the Spire, I guess... Though it looks like people still aren’t aware that she’s the one who caused it to collapse just yet...”

  The main float in question is a well-put-together effigy of a monstrous woman with long black hair and horns, standing atop a pile of skulls and rubble.

  “Is that supposed to be Mom...?”

  “Y-yeah, I guess so...” Bran answers back, growing visibly nervous with each question I ask.

  “Fwah! It looks great!” I exclaim, giving the builders an approving thumbs up as we pass them by. “Though, Mom’s a lot prettier than that, and her horns are a lot longer too. But it’s still really neat though! Super badass too!”

  “O-oh...? Well if you’re not mad about it, then I guess it’s fine...”

  “M-mm! It’s really cool!” Biscuit adds. “It kind of looks like big sis Pepper a little bit, I think!”

  “Fwehehe... You think so?” I bashfully give the small wolfgirl a playful shove.

  Though, I’m not sure what’s up with this weird story about Greed being the reason why Mom and my sisters decided to leave the city all those years ago. I know the real reason they left and decided to go into hiding, but it’s a little embarrassing, so I don’t exactly want to go spreading that information around instead...

  Come to think of it, if this is the twenty-fifth anniversary of the day they attacked the city, doesn’t that mean I’m forgetting something important right now...? What was it...? I know there was definitely something super important that’s supposed to happen today, but I just can’t remember what it was... Huh. Maybe it’ll come to me later.

  “What’s the story with the horns anyway?” Bran asks, nodding my way. “If you’re a demon, why don’t you have any?”

  “I do have them!” I snap back with a pout. Grabbing the hands of Bran and Biscuit, I guide their fingers up to the top of my head and press them against the two hard little nubs hiding beneath my hair. “Mom says they just haven’t grown in yet! And my sister told me that I actually have really long horns, but they just grew in upside-down and into my skull instead!”

  “I’m pretty sure your sister was just making fun of you there...”

  Passing all the preparations for the upcoming Demon Burning Festival, we eventually arrive at the west gate of the city where Mei-Mei is already waiting for us, seemingly eager to leave already.

  “Fwah! How’d you get here before us?”

  “I should be asking you that!” Mei-Mei complains. “Why are you taking a leisurely stroll through the streets when we’ve got things to do?! It’s a big city, so I used public transport, obviously!”

  Oh. I didn’t realize that was a thing.

  “Where’s the goblin?” Bran asks.

  “With the Queen. Now, let’s go before we lose any more sunlight.”

  “Huh...? What do you mean she’s with— H-hey, wait up! I’m coming, I’m coming! These bags are really heavy so slow down a bit!”

  And with that, the four of us leave the city, exiting through the large, fortified and well-guarded gates of Gran Torte and out into the country beyond. With Mei-Mei guiding the way forward, the paved stone beneath our feet gradually turns to dirt, and the grand city at our backs becomes nothing more than a pretty, picturesque landmark in the distance. From here, you can just about make out the general movements of life and activity pulsing out from the city much like a beating heart. If the world itself did have a heart, I feel like Gran Torte would definitely be that heart.

  “Hm...?” As we come to rest beneath the afternoon sun while enjoying the view, I suddenly become aware of the pillars of black smoke rising out from the city, accompanied by the occasional explosion of flame and collapsing wall. “Is that the Demon Burning Festival?”

  “Uh...” Bran follows my gaze before shaking his head. “It shouldn’t be that... destructive. I mean, I don’t need your eyesight to see that the entire western wall looks like it’s about to collapse. Do you... Do you think it’s Lust? Do you think she’s back already...?”

  This time Biscuit shakes her head. “I don’t think so... Mom— L-Lust promised not to attack the city until she was all better. It hasn’t been long enough for her to be better yet...”

  Straining my muscular ears, I think I can just about make out the sounds of fearful screams of terror alongside the rampant destruction burrowing its way through the city in the distance.

  “Keh...” Mei-Mei shrugs. “Well, whatever it is, it can’t be any worse than Lust so I’m sure the city can handle it. There’s no point worrying about it now, so let’s just focus on the quest at hand.”

  “Right!” I agree, tearing my eyes from the ongoing destruction in the distance—

  —And then coming to an abrupt stop.

  “Fwah! I just remembered!”

  The others pause to look at me with puzzled faces.

  I remembered the super important thing that slipped my mind a while back. Of course, it’s the twenty-fifth anniversary of the demon’s destruction of the city and the day they disappeared from the surface world and went into hiding. That can only mean one thing...

  “It’s my birthday today!”