Walking up to DosaDos's platform, not too close for the obvious trap door. I can see that they have the same interior decorator as Jabba. All the Hutt's hafta have that esthetically pleasing trap door into an arena, you know? Of course, it wasn't like that made me safe, hardly in fact. Instead I had to worry about the six, suspiciously shaped
I had no illusions that that 'fancy cargolift' was more powerful then most battlespeeders. No, more powerful then most mainline tanks, even after the clone wars kicked off. Sure it looked like a regular gilded sled. But behind it were some of the most powerful components from hundreds of years.
That kind of tech, over that kind of time was no joke. There were thousands of technologies that could have appeared and disappeared in that time frame. Even the Doonium armor of the B2s I had would disappear between now and the empire. Not that they were hurting for it, if I remembered right, the empire preferring to tank things with armor over stronger shields, cheaper too.
The problem would be getting the rare materials that had been discovered and disappeared in between now and then. Sure, there were usually still rare, but more common materials that could replace them, not as well but still. However, the tech wouldn't be there, or the alloys wouldn't be up to the task or... Some materials were just literally impossible to replace. And that was just one reason why tech disappeared in the bureaucratic mess that was the republic.
Paperwork is a nightmare... Nute would know, he and the TF buried plenty of tech in it that would effect their bottom line, or even change their OP.
"What can the great and mighty DosaDos do for you?" asked the useless pustule that inhabited the same region as the Hutt. I wasn't sure if I was talking about the fat twi'lek or the Hutt. Of course it was a twi'lek. Not that I couldn't see plenty of rare and exotic species in the chamber. All bounty hunters or pleasure slaves of a kind. Not that I would try them, all of the pleasure slaves were 'secretly' assassins that murdered anything their masters didn't like.
I turned to the droid on my left and started saying something. "Roger, roger. His eminence the viceroy Nute Gunray would like to extend his greetings from the Trade Federation and the Galactic Republic." Stated the B2 in perfect Huttese. Being my personal droids I had them loaded up as interpreter/assassin droids. It was actually amazing how common that type of programing was, even easier to find than straight protocol droid programing!
"The great and mighty DosaDos is insulted by your use of a droid to speak her elegant tongue!" Stated the fat twi'lek. DosaDos said no such thing. In fact, she seemed pretty board with the proceeding thus far. Maybe that was why the twi'lek thought to spice things up by creating trouble.
"Target the twi'lek." I stated, and a B2 deployed a pocket rocket from a hidden hatch. Immediately two things happened, the shield hummed to life at full power, and the twi'lek squawked and flinched. But calmed as the shield enhanced itself. "Boron tipped obviously." I stated, a shield wasn't going to stop it unless it was capitol grade. These types of rockets were specifically designed to penetrate through shields... also highly illegal, but how and why depended on the planet you were on... Which technically meant they were legal in the republic, as long as you weren't in republic space...
"You dare to point..." The twi'lek started only for him to be smacked off stage by a Hutt tale. One of the bounty hunters stood up, covered in armor. "The great and mighty..." I interrupted him "You can just say grancha, DosaDos Grancha." I stated. Of course, his helmet delightfully processed that for him, but he heard it all the same. "DosaDos Grancha would like to apologize for his servant. He is not well trained, but she would prefer if you didn't kill him." Stated the bounty hunter.
"You will have to ask my droid, I'm not sure if his protocol demands reprisal for insults." I stated. I could feel the incredulity in the bounty hunter as he looked from me to the droid and back. He cleared his throat and asked "What is your protocol droid? What will you do?" They requested. With their vocalizer so modulated I couldn't tell if they were male or female. Actually, their helmet was very large, I couldn't tell what species they were other than that they were humanoid. Could be another twi'lek for all I knew, force knows the Hutts would never run out of those.
"Request: Excepted, kill all offenders, prevent all harm to master, kill all who threaten master." Stated the B2 still holding a rocket pointed at the cowering twi'lek. Apparently he had smashed his nose as he was bleeding blue all down his face and sneering at me from behind his master and the platform. I bet he thought himself protected, I knew the Hutt would rather just hand him over. These games were fun when one party was weaker, and they weren't it, not so much when both parties could do damage to each other.
"Is there any room for compromise? Do you have any alternative commands?" The bounty hunter asked. I could tell that they were reaching, giving hand signs to the others around, weapons not drawn, but unclasping of holsters, and grips tightening. I found it cute, I had no doubts that eh droids I had with me could protect me, even though they wouldn't be able to do so without damage.
"Request: Querie: stand down protocol requires that all hostility be stopped, by any means necessary. Perpetrators must admit fault, and surrender to higher authority. Area must be secured, and all threats neutralized before stand down procedure can be initiated, following a sweep of the area." Stated the B2. The bounty hunter started to sweat, no way in a hutt's sweaty prison after you dropped your monthly bar of soup. He seemed to except what was to happen and dropped his hand to his own holster.
And a ginormous laugh cut through the tension, apparently DosaDos found it funny, honestly so did I, and I joined her. The rest of the room started to laugh awkwardly as well, not sure what was going on. "Chubba goola, ree panwa." Stated the Hutt as they clapped. More awkward clapping ensued.
They brought over the twi'lek, who at the time looked awkward and curious what was happening... before they were whipped by a guard with an electro whip. I found this dry if a bit overkill, no need for torture, just kill or admonish him. At least outwardly, good old Nute strikes again, because I was internally wincing every time. Still, I watched the Hutt as they watched me, and everyone else watched the droid.
As the twi'lek screamed platitudes and apologies, and everybody else stopped reaching for weapons the droid seemed appeased. This 'appeased' me, and entertained the hutt. Then we got on to business, boring politics, and idle chatter. Honestly, it was a waste of my time, but DosaDos probably wouldn't have listened to anybody else otherwise... at least not unless a senator came, and fat chance of that, better odds on a hutt in a tree legged race.
As I had thought, the negotiations were a complete waste of time. At least however, I was able to stick it to the republic by forcing them to send another negotiator to renegotiate the treaty I just renegotiated. And this time it would have to be a senator of the Republic.
But that didn't mean it wouldn't benefit me greatly, being the negotiator of the fine print always had its advantages. And the Hutts were infamous in the galactic senate for their 'trade deals'. Considering the Trade Federation was one of their major 'prey' I found our little dance ironic.
One interesting thing was that Old Nute had come alive during the negotiation. I had thought he was dead in there, but apparently not completely, still though I was board out of my mind, and new Nute just didn't care either way. It balanced out and I was able to pay attention enough to throw in certain things, or clauses, or clarifications that would even cause the Hutts a headache. As they did not know the most recent legal classifications all the way out here in Hutt space, though I doubted DosaDos was completely uninformed.
Not unless the Hutts didn't care about the republic anyway, which was true. Still thought, they probably figured that they were going to ignore the treaty anyway, so what did it matter? Only those powerful enough to even get to a legal battle would it matter, and the Hutts didn't prey on those... mostly.
Of course, that was when things went to kriff...
"Bomb warning detected, explosives incoming!" Stated one of my B2s. Both me and the Hutt looked at the B2 with a growing panic. Because we knew things were about to go to kriff. My droidika popped their shields in formation around me, my B2s popped out all their weaponry all before of the bounty hunters, mercs, and ne'er do wells could. This proved to be their undoing, mostly because those that did were not those that were there to protect the Hutt.
It was well known that Hutts liked to do their business in open forum. This was seen as an easy way to defend against assassins, better when they were open, but protected, then closed away and finding out your fortress had a critical weakness.
So when the thermal detonator pupped up through the grate of the trap door I was caught flatfooted. My B2s were not. I wish I wasn't.
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The B2, defending me from immanent threat, smacked the grenade... at the Hutt.
This did nothing. Well, no, it did something, just not what I would have expected. The grenade, hitting a shield, bounced off... Into an alcove... with a lot of very flammable alcohol...
Obviously, this caused all the Hutt thugs to pull their weapons. Not fast enough, my droids were always prepared... for an attack from DosaDos. This was not an attack from DosaDos. My Droids started firing at every armed individual here. That was all of them except me, the fat twi'lek from the start, a few slave girls, but not really, the droids hadn't detected it, and the fat slug themselves. I was left to cower behind a droidika.
But while they were not the best, usually drunk, and couldn't hit a wamprat if it was on their mom and made them call it daddy, they were not completely uneducated in the fine art of violence. Laser fire soon shot out of the alcoves, tables were turned over, and the ball turrets started shooting at random things, hilariously, I didn't find it all that funny.
That was when the assassins struck, it was well timed to be honest, if it wasn't so badly timed. They came in right when everybody was looking for a target. Dressed in black robes, so we wouldn't misidentify them. This meant that everybody with half a brain could identify who were the assassins.
Unfortunately, B2s and droidika were not known for their intelligence, just violence. Doubly unfortunate, the ball turrets were mounted by drunk, stupid, thugs. That meant, that the two heaviest hitting groups were targeting each other and not the assassins. But to make matters worse, the assassins that had boiled up from the grate, were joined by assassins that had been waiting in the alcoves, the former petitioners, and assassins that had overwhelmed the gate guards and forced their way in.
Two of six turrets died rather quickly in the opening salvo. My droidika were pretty efficiently taking them out, which was kind of good. But I was still rather exposed. I noticed that there was fire coming from one of the alcoves that was aimed at other alcoves. "Get me there!" I yelled to my droids, just lowed enough to be heard over the blaster fire.
One thing I can say about my droids, they could follow orders very well. The alcove was quickly decimated in blaster fire. Nothing was left, which is ironic considering that the tables and chairs were designed to withstand blaster fire. At least the table was, a quick defense against such things, which is a common occurrence. Though, those were usually drunken brawls that were mildly encouraged by the Hutts to break up the tedium of hearing farmers asking for a loan or an extension... Not well coordinated assassinations.
Luckily I was in the alcove by the time another thermal detonator was lobbed into the center, clearing out the melee there. My droids could easily shoot it out of the sky, but it was not a 'threat' to me in the center, so they did not. But now that I only had to take fire from one side, and my droidika could easily hold up to the sporadic fire, I could refine their orders. "I want the B2s to take care of those assassins in black, and help, or at least try not to shoot the Hutt's forces, so long as they are not attacking us. Kill anybody that is focusing on us however." I said/yelled, talking over blaster fire was not quiet.
It seemed that the Hutt forces heard me as most stopped trying to shoot me. Not all, but those learned a painful final lesson. Now that I was able to focus fire, the two surviving ball turrets were able to cut down the chaff that had overwhelmed the front gate. But the bounty hunters that the attacking, likely Hutt, hired and the assassins were more than meets the eye.
Of course, neither was the chaff going to die without a fight either. In one last hurrah, they launched a rocket at the Hutt from close range. This was stopped by his shield, but it was a near thing, and it was overwhelmed for a time. This allowed them to riddle the Hutt with blaster fire as the assassins temporarily focused on the Hutt. But while Hutts were not used to pain, especially one as powerful as DosaDos, and it had likely been longer than lifetimes since the last time she had, one sudden wave of surprised blaster fire would not be enough to kill the beast.
This was of course, the reason why it was so hard to assassinate a Hutt. They were one of the hardest species to kill. Only outclassed by those such as and other such rare species. DosaDos, having none of this anymore, decided it wasn't fun and she wasn't going to play anymore. Taking her toys and leaving, she directed her hoversled to take her away. Unfortunately, it was forced to a crawl in these confines, it did leave that fat twi'lek exposed though.
I will admit to being slightly amused by that twi'lek being gunned down. Less amusing was seeing the riff raff try to turn one of their rockets towards me. There were also no less than three thermal detonators about to be lobbed my way. Luckily, my B2s were more than happy to gun down people that made themselves a target.
First, the one with the rocket was taken down. Then the three that were trying to toss thermal detonators. But not before one of them successfully lobbed one at me, or they were activated. The two that were not lobbed disapeared into the crowed. But I was focused on the one that was lobbed at me. I watched it in slow motion, I saw my B2s track it in the air. I ducked and will admit to cowering, except to anybody else, I stood tall and did not tuck myself into a corner.
The explosion that burst nocked everybody off their feet. Bursting in midair ironically empowered the explosion with nothing to stop it. This paused the fight. Then the second thermal detonator went off. This ended the fight, making the robed assassins start to retreat. Until they saw the last thermal detonator bounce into the midst of them while they were trying to retreat through the busted grate. The look on their faces was priceless.
Boom! Right in the midst of the assassin elites. It was beautiful, and couldn't have planed it better myself. Now the assassins were in full retreat, being gunned down by everybody with extreme prejudice. The only group still with their senses amongst the assassins was the bounty hunters, but they couldn't turn the tide alone, so they ran as well.
I ordered my B2s and two of my least damaged droidika to finish off the assassins and take prisoners. Most of my droidika's shields were bright red, with only the two I had left to finish off the assassins still in blue. I had also lost a B2 sometime in the fighting, it was plopped over with a blaster wound in its photosepter. Not that there wasn't carbon scaring on almost all of my B2s. All except for the one I was using as a protocol droid oddly enough. It also seemed to have done the least fighting and seemed to stay back as if scared. I would have to look into that, perhaps the cowardly protocol droid programing was affecting it.
I walked out into the crowd along with my droids, coughing to get DosaDos's attention. She seemed oddly focused on guiding her hoversled out of the forum area. Apparently she did not think of retreating with it...
"I demand compensation for this attack! It is clear that you can't even defend yourself in your own home." I stated, playing my part. When DosaDos turned an incredulous and somewhat angry eye my way, I pointed to the droid one of my other B2s was carrying. DosaDos was clearly not in the mood, having just suffered an attack, but she turned to me fully.
But before I could go further the slaves I had lined and taken prisoner, now guarded by DosaDos's gaurds spoke. "Oh great and mighty DosaDos, the greater and mightier Juju'bee sends his regards!" They stated, and then bit into something. The guards quickly tried to open their mouths and have them spit it out, but too late. One unfortunate guard figured that out the hard way when a spark of energy followed up their hand, killing them and the prisoner.
This didn't mean that all their deaths were the same. There was electricity, what I assume by the foam was poison. One of them even had their entire head explode in gore that covered the guards and the B2s that protected me, sloughing off the shields of my droidika, and hissing from the energy contained within.
Just to add insult to injury, "And you can't even keep the prisoners I allowed you to take into your possession?!" I stated. Not that my droids would have done any better.
Oh DosaDos was raving. But there was nothing that she could do to me. Venting on someone like myself, that had come to her in her own home would not end well, far worse than the assassination. To DosaDos this was just a bitch slap, comfirmed by what she said next. "Juju'bee thinks that he can intimidate me into getting back with him? Now that I am with Jabba?! Well he shall know better when I slice off his ***hook and feed it to him!"
Oh, suddenly I was no longer as angry as I once was. This was too good. I had somehow ended up as a side character in some kind of Hutt romance worth daytime soap television! Juju'bee the spurned ex trying to get back with her by sending her a lovely assassination? Will Jabba, this young virile Hutt take attacking one of his gals lying down? Ok, that's a probably, since Hutts aren't known for well, doing things any other way.
Still though, this was too good. I wanted popcorn! "You will have your compensation, take these slaves and your trinkets and be away with you!" She stated.
Well, I had played my part, and my expected role, for both sides. If I didn't ask for anything the Hutt would steamroll me, and if I pressed DosaDos would be offended. Not that I wasn't, but that was a private affair. Honestly, a slave and some Aurum ingots? Not worth my life, literally. But I would make conversation over holocall, and safely outside of DosaDos influence.
I took the slave girls away back to my ship, I could see the tears in her eyes from crying over her companion, the others were stern-faced with taught muscles. By the time I got to my hanger, and safely within range of my B1s guarding it I stated "Your all assassins aren't you?"
The drew their hidden knives as I pressed the shock command on their collars. This did nothing, but my droids were fast with the shock sticks, taking them down. I wasn't stupid, and had them prepared when I got the new slaves. I would have to figure out a place to sell them, I didn't need slave girl/assassins that weren't even technically loyal to me. I didn't need slaves at all, I had droids!
"We captured these assassins snooping around as well." Stated a B1 as it pushed two familiar figures forward. I broke, putting my face in my hands, really?
"Oh high! It's Mr. bounty hunter! I told you we were in the right place!" Stated the pink one trying to wave, and getting a blaster in the face for her trouble. She went back to holding her hands up in surrender. "Yeah, real helpful. How's this going to help us get off this planet again?" said the blue one.
"He's from the trade federation! He can take us to Naboo! I heard they were over in Naboo and discussing new better trade deals!" The pink one said.
I couldn't help it, I cried a little, and died a little more inside. What was I supposed to do with two kids? At least the blue one had some sense, but the pink one was too bubbly and oblivious.
"Yeah, but we still have to convince him to let us go with him. And something tells me that he is not in a convincing mood." She said as the B1 tried to get her to stay still. Honestly, they were lucky to be alive, the B1s were not supposed to take prisoners, they should be smoldering corpses.
"Relax Fifi, bounty guy is awesome, and like, totally nice! Remember how he didn't even feel us up when we snuggled him on the couch? Like when was the last time THAT happened?" She asked her friend, one Fifi apparently, though I doubted that was her real name, all of it at least.
Really? That was her standard? Not feeling up a couple of kids? Like even on Nar Shaddaa that's a low bar. There has to be someone else that can deal with this, deal with them...
Spoiler, there was not, another spoiler, they are now registered as my slaves... Frak me...
true facts, under the see