“We, as a society, don’t put nearly enough stock into the effects of combat on the human mind. So many of you immediately assume that soldiers want to kill babies and whatnot. Do you want to know the truth? The truth is; most soldiers couldn’t care less. They don’t know the enemy, nor do they hate the beings the senate forces them to fight. But yet, the average civilian treats soldiers like dirt. It’s embarrassing.” – From Star Talk in the Morning with Joe Braddish.

  “I don’t know how we all made it through today,” Jack said, collapsing onto the bed in their cabin. “I’m pretty sure we all passed our limits at least once. Some of us might never recover fully…”

  The mission took its toll on every member of Spier squad. It chewed them up and spat them back out as a shadow of what they once were. Thea’s face was gaunt. She’d given everything she had and was now paying the price of overusing her power.

  “No, they will recover. If I have to spend a month healing them, they will recover,” she said, removing her blood-soaked jacket and throwing it in the laundry chute.

  “You need to recover first. Pushing yourself that hard won’t help anyone if you’re overworked when we really need you.”

  “That’s crap and you know it. The combat types get to rest… medics never get to see the end,” she lamented while removing the rest of her uniform.

  “No, it’s not. Thea, you have to take a moment for yourself. Other Phantoms can step up if you’re too tired.”

  She whirled and threw a soiled boot at his head. “Yeah, they can. But then what? How do I look Ness in the eyes and say that I was just too tired? How do I look at Evee and say ‘sorry for the torture, I need to take a quick nap.’ I know I’m doing my best, and I’m ok with that. But you know phantoms don’t have the luxury of slowing down.”

  “Yes, you do. You’re still human with human limits. You’re not Steel Cast, and you’re not Officer Kos. You’re Thea Alfson and, as much as I believe in you, you have limits.”

  “Are they greater or less than yours?” she asked, retrieving the boot and shoving it into the cleaner with her jacket.

  “Yours? Much greater. The amount of Light you channeled today was more than I’ve used in the last two missions. But even if I could have kept going, Warren stopped me before I blinded myself,” he said, stripping off his uniform, “Thea, we aren’t immortal.”

  The tough fa?ade cracked, and all the pressure of the day finally spilled out. “Why? Why do we have to see these horrible things? Do you know how many dead civilians I found after Evee? Fourteen. They tortured fourteen people for information they probably didn’t have. Hurt them so badly that even if I found them alive, I would have been forced to choose who to save and who to let die.”

  “The universe is a truly horrific place. The only thing we can do is hang on to each other,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her.

  “But why does it have to be so bad? Why can’t we come to an agreement with the other races? Why do we get to claim land for ourselves if we’re stealing it from everyone else?”

  “I… I don’t have those answers.”

  “Will it ever end?”

  “One day… maybe.”

  “I don’t want to fight forever. This isn’t what I expected when they told me I would see the stars,” she said, pulling away to step into the shower.

  She was right. That’s not why either of them joined, but it was all they’d seen. Ever since leaving Algol, it had been mission after mission, battle after battle.

  Today she was washing off the blood of a friend that was still alive. But it was only a matter of time before it was the blood of a friend… just like Ortiz.

  Pulling up his HUD, Jack searched for a place they could one day call home. There was no way that dream would come true anytime soon, but even the idea of having a place of their own was alluring. If and when they were free of the AHF, they could put down their weapons and enjoy life once more.

  “Can I assume the others are already waiting for us?” She asked, scrubbing every inch of her body to cleanse it of the mission, “I want to raise a toast for the Captain. Without her, I would be dead.”

  “Yeah, they’re already there. She really did something incredible today, didn’t she?” He replied.

  “She really did, and she is paying the price for it now.”

  She stepped out of the shower a few minutes later and Jack took her place while she got dressed. Neither had many clothes that were not part of the uniform, but the loose-fitting T-shirt and jeans she slipped on were among her favorites.

  Not covered in blood, his shower was more to rinse off the layer of sweat that had accumulated under his armor. But like her, it was only a few minutes before he, too, was ready to leave.

  Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

  “Jack,” she said, “Thank you for being there. And thank you for trusting me to handle myself. I heard what you said to Griffin. You made the hard choice instead of the one that made you comfortable.”

  “Making that call killed me, but what I said was true. You and Dave are the number one pair for staying alive,” he replied, “But saying it was hard is an understatement.”

  “Well… Thank you,” she repeated, staring at her feet. Looking up, she plastered a smile on her face, “but now it’s time to find the others and eat.”

  ~~**~~

  Even after a year of living on one, Nessa still had a hard time processing the sheer size of a hub-ship. If it wasn’t for the intricate lift network, there was no way a person could get from point A to B in a reasonable amount of time.

  When the AHF designed these monstrosities, they’d taken great care to include everything a soldier could need, or want, on long-term deployment. Each one had its own economy and would often trade goods and services with others in the fleet.

  It was almost like they went out of their way to ensure that every person stationed on the ship would have little to no desire to disembark for any measure of time.

  Back when the AHF started, the Unranked Officers put their foot down and told the government that it would not break families up just because a person was serving in the military. After arguing for nearly a decade, the first HUB was brought into service.

  “You know, as much as I wanted to punch that orderly for trying to stop us… he may have been right. I’ve got some serious pain where my leg should be,” Nessa complained as the pair made their way to one of the many restaurants on board.

  “Then why the hell did we leave? If you’re still hurt, I should drag you back to sick bay and have the doc look you over,” Warren said with an exasperated sigh.

  “Sure thing, right after we sit down to a meal. By the way, where are we going?”

  “There is a place that just opened up on the upper decks. A guy from Nebula told me they make a solid fish and chips,” Warren said, possessing the lift to open the doors, “But if that’s too far, we can go ba…”

  “You better not finish that sentence. How long has this place been open?”

  “Uh… a few weeks?” He replied cautiously.

  “And how long have you known it was there?”

  “Since the day after…”

  Her eyes turned dark, and a crimson glow encased her hands. “You mean to tell me we’ve had a real Irish place for weeks, and you never mentioned it?”

  Any onlookers watching the scene unfold would have thought Warren was about to die for the crime of hiding good food, but then Nessa broke into a huge grin and let go of her power. “You asshole. I thought we were friends. How are you going to hide something like that when you know how much I love food from home?”

  “If you recall, we’ve been a bit busy lately. I was going to take you when we got back yesterday, but someone had to go and get a leg eaten off,” he said, stepping onto the lift and selecting their destination.

  “Yet another thing I wish I could kill that bastard a second time for,” she laughed, “hey, do you think I’ll be able to kick a hole through walls and stuff now?”

  “You could before. What changed?”

  She kept up the lighthearted banter as they traveled, but inside she was still a whirlwind of emotions. The constant reminders of her handicap stung in ways that were hard to explain. The fear and worry concerning her ability to perform flooded her mind and sent her into a spiral of recent memory.

  The doctor claimed she wouldn’t feel any pain after the implant was done. Citing that because they bonded the new limb to her nervous system, her brain would learn to cope with the loss. It would almost be like nothing ever happened.

  But she still remembered the last moments of that fight.

  The pain as the tentacles wrapped around her, squeezing her leg like a starving boa constrictor.

  The sharp points of stone that were the creature’s teeth sawed through the armor like butter. Grinding and tearing metal right before ripping through flesh and bone.

  She could feel… She could feel… She could…

  The doors opened, and the unmistakable scent of fried haddock filled the compartment. Across the walkway, a restaurant looked like someone had plucked it right out of downtown Dublin. Every inch screamed Ireland, from the bright red fa?ade to the swinging double doors.

  A sign hanging above the door erased any doubt this place was owned by one of her countrymen.

  The New Temple Bar

  It was like someone had taken the memory directly out of her childhood and built it board for board. In the few places where the endless racks of whiskey weren’t on display, they darkened the wood to match the color of its progenitor back on Earth. Hand carved stools surrounded small tables, dotting the softly lit room like mushrooms in a forest.

  In a dimly lit corner was a large table with seven figures, chatting amongst themselves as they waited for something. Nessa watched as one lifted a glass in toast, laughing as she spoke. In one fluid motion, the woman tipped the mug to her lips and took a deep pull that was echoed amongst the others.

  “I thought this meal was supposed to just be the two of us,” Nessa said, looking at Warren as if he’d done something wrong, which in her eyes, he had.

  “It was, and then I saw you trying to cover how you really feel in that elevator and ignoring what your body was telling you. Unfortunately, telling you to relax has never worked, so the next best thing was to bring your family here,” Warren replied.

  “They’re not my family,” she said sternly.

  He knew how touchy she was about that word. The notion of family had only ever meant pain to her. Now that she had people who cared enough to risk their lives to protect her, she didn’t know how to feel or react. These people were not her father, and she needed to understand that.

  “Yeah, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. But these people are your brothers and sisters in arms just as much as I am. We care about you more than literally anyone else in this universe, and you know that for a fact. So, how about you knuckle up, stop being so damned thick-headed, and listen to what they say?”

  “And if I want to leave instead?”

  “Too bad.”

  “Bullshit, I’ll leave if I want.” Trying to walk away, her new Li-Tech leg stopped responding to her commands. Turning a burning gaze on her friend, she demanded that he release his control of it.

  “Too. Bad. You’re going to sit down at that table and listen to what they have to say. If you still have a problem with them or me, I’ll help you file a change of unit request tomorrow.”

  He’d gotten to her with that last one. There was no doubt in his mind that she would jump through fire for these people. After this, she would be unable to deny that Turaspeir would do the same for her.

  Looking at the ground, she amended a thought she wasn’t ready to speak. These people were her family, and in a deeper way than her own ever was. If it meant losing another limb, she would cut it off herself to keep her true family safe.