Ode to Madeline: The Sequel-Dequel!
Alright
Mic check, mic check
Ready?
6, 6, 6,
HELLO, everybody!
We’re back here again!
This time, little Madeline is…
Wait,
Excuse me for a moment.
Yo, where’s the damn brat?
What?
Her family is at a…
DINER?
Madeline, oh, Madeline!
We’re back here once again
You thought you could escape service, Madeline?
But I assure you my standard’s top-grade saint!
Oh and what do we have here, Madeline?
A friendly, crumbling, sinner of a diner!
Madeline, did you do this to me, Madeline?
I AM YOUR ONLY OPTION, MADELINE!
I AM YOUR ONLY BIRTHDAY PLANNER!
I AM YOUR BIRTHDAY, MADELINE!
SCREW YOUR MOM, SCREW YOUR DADDY, SCREW THE FAMILY DOG, TOO!
ALSO, GOATS ARE BETTER THAN DOGS. YOU KNOW WHY?
‘Cuz grass’s cheaper, dumbass!
I brought the paper, and you’re the signer!
You can’t do this, Madeline! What would Big J say if you sin?
After the redo I gave you for no fee last year?
No, no, you absolutely cannot, for the sake of my standard, sin!
But Madeline, you should be glad, Madeline!
I am so very, extremely, awfully, kind!
As kind and tactful like Big G, Madeline!
The best, top-grade, most satanic awesome bestest service you will ever find!
Oh, I repeated “best” twice?
Oh, sorry.
SCREW YOU, Madeline, dear!
Ay, bring me the wine and goats!
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We ‘bouta have a party!
In celebration of Madeline
Who made me madly mad about Madeline!
You thought you could forget me?
Oh, hell no, you can’t, baby!
I’m omniscient, I’m omega!
I’m alpha and my heart’s a huge spirit!
Now, now, let’s turn the fun up!
See that waitress, oh Madeline?
Let’s turn her into a mannequin!
Let’s dress her in a clown outfit!
Ooh, where did this premium-grade top-quality knife come from?
Oh, check out my sick aim, oh Madeline!
Ka-chok!
Bull’s eyes!
What’s that you’re saying, oh Madeline?
My aim sucked?
Oh, goddamn, you’re quite the brat, aren’t you?
Well, I’ll show you, damn shitty mommy-titsucker!
Here’s a humongous huge five-story cake!
I made it just last night!
It features:
1 cup white sugary blood
? cup unsalted Madeline flesh
2 large vaginal parts
3 restaurant-grade ovums
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 ? cups all-purpose flour
1 ? teaspoons baking powder
? cup goat milk
Oh wait, speaking of goats!
Bring out them staked witches, Madeline!
I’mma make ‘em broiled
And I can’t forget the oil!
So now let’s fry ‘em to perfection
I learned this technique from a foreign monk, Madeline!
Their belief’s pretty cool, I might add.
BUT NOW CHECK OUT THIS SICK FLIP!
WAHOO!
Ay, bring the damn goat over here!
I need a daily intake of goat nutrition!
If we want this brat to grow up satanic and healthy!
Oh, what, you shitty brat?
You want to know how to make some lemonade?
Well, fuck you, that’s how!
Suck my—-------
WAIT, don’t fucking censor me!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh, and for the record!
I ain’t fucking scared of Yelp no more!
I QUIT!
I’M FREELANCE, BITCH!
HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!
Madeline, madeline, mAdeLine, MADELINE!
YOU MAKE ME THIS WAY, MADELINE
I WILL BOIL YOU ALIVE IN THE DEEPEST LAYERS OF MR.S’S FINEST BOILER ROOM
I WILL TAKE YOUR EARS AND SAUTE THEM WITH SOY SAUCE, AND GRIND YOUR EARWAX TO HONEY, OH YOUR BLOOD WILL TASTE LIKE THE FINEST WINE! I WILL HAVE SUCH A PLEASANT TIME MAKING PIANOS WITH YOUR DISCARDED BONES, AND WHEN I’M BORED I WILL MAKE BALOONS OUT OF YOUR NO-LONGER-FUNCTION LUNGS!
IF YOU JUST LET ME DO MY PLANNING THEN EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING INBETWEEN WILL BE ABSOLUTELY HOLY SATAN-BLESSED AND GOAT-MARINATE PERFECT!
IT’S TIME TO DO SOME BIRTHDAY PLANNING!
HAHAHA!
HEAR THAT, MADELINE, I’M LAUGHING IN YOUR STUPID BRAT FACE!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BLESS THOSE WHO ORDERS BIRTHDAY SERVICES!!!!!!
Wait….
What’s that look on your face, ya SHITTY BRAT?
I should get another job?
OH HELL NO!
BIRTHDAYS ARE MY PASSION!
WITHOUT IT, I’M JUST
I’m just
I’m
A guy.
Like check out my cool party hat
But if I’m no planner
Then what am I?
