Chapter 21 (Anna’s POV)
Joshua had commandeered the cottage’s rickety dining table, spreading it with neat stacks of scavenged jewelry, three cloth bank?bags of cash, and a yellow legal pad already bristling with columns. He worked by the light of a single solar lantern, pen scratching with accountant?level precision while the wind moaned around our patchwork barricades.
I hovered at the doorway, feeling equal parts intruder and partner. He did not notice me at first; his lips moved silently as he tallied grams of gold and carats of diamond. The legal pad showed headings in block letters:
Projected Melt Value ??|??Auction Reserve ??|??Gate?Cycle Allocation
—and beneath them, smaller notes in parentheses that looked like grocery lists for a paramilitary Costco run.
I cleared my throat. He glanced up, blinking as though surfacing from deep water. “Need something?”
“Yes,” I answered, stepping forward. “A catalogue.” I lifted the battered composition notebook I’d carried on every scavenging run since we’d met. The cover was speckled with dried blood and rain stains. “My wish list.”
He pushed his chair back, motioning me to sit. “Let’s inventory. Faster if I code it now.”
I took the adjacent chair; its spindle creaked under me. From the notebook, I read the categories I’d scribbled during last night’s watch, each bullet another memory of something I’d gone without for too long.
1. Clothing & Daily Necessities
ItemSpecifics / RationaleJoshua’s NotesSports bras (6?pack, M)Current elastic fraying; chafes on long patrols.Target price <$18/pack. Cotton?spandex blend preferred.Women’s boxer briefs (cotton, M)Mobility & hygiene; panties ride up in a fight.Seek multipack. Dark colors hide stains.Wool base layer (top & bottom)Night watches drop close to freezing.Merino 150?g/m2. REI winter clearance?Fingerless leather glovesBetter bow grip; current pair stiff w/ gore.Size S/M. Motorcycle section.Boonie hat w/ neck flapSunstroke risk during rooftop scouting.Mil?surp, coyote?tan.
Joshua jotted SKU ideas and ballpark prices beside each entry. His pen never hesitated.
2. Field Medicine & Hygiene
ItemSpecifics / RationaleJoshua’s NotesLidocaine ampoulesFor stitching deep cuts without screaming.Vet?supply site sells OTC.Heavy?duty tampons (Super+)Gunshot plugging hack—saw it once.Already stocked 10 boxes; upgrade to OB ProComfort.Broad?spectrum antibiotic ointmentFinished tube last week.Triple?antibiotic, 1?oz tubes.Disposable floss picksRotting teeth lead to sepsis.Dollar?store jumbo bag.Claritin or ZyrtecMy seasonal dust allergy is hell in ruins.Costco twin?pack.
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3. Combat & Fortifications
ItemSpecifics / RationaleJoshua’s Notes14?gauge steel door barsReinforce interior bedroom doors for fallback.Home Depot returns aisle.Kevlar forearm guardsRoamers grab; teeth scrape.Archery gear site. Measure circumference.Compound?bow spare strings (×3)Mine’s down to last backup.Order custom length 60″.1000?lb test paracord (200?ft)Trip lines + pulley hoist for the safe.Add to Amazon cart.Break?safe glass punchEmergency egress if boards fail.Under $10. Keep two.
4. Comfort & Morale
ItemSpecifics / RationaleJoshua’s NotesDried mango / fruit leatherVitamin C, tastes like memory of summer.Bulk pack, 5?lb.Paperback novels (sci?fi, romance)Night watch boredom breeds despair.Used?book lot sale.Portable Bluetooth speakerMusic keeps nerves steady; bring downloaded tracks.Battery > 20?hrs. Include solar charger.Spiral hair tiesRegular elastics snap; hair in eyes kills you.Add to Target run.Chewing gum (cinnamon)Masks corpse stench in close quarters.Already stocked, but get variety.
He totaled rough estimates on a fresh line: Outbound Cost ≈?$740. “That’s before taxes,” he murmured, then scratched an asterisk: price buffer 20?%.
I noticed the way his knee bounced under the table—a rapid, jittery piston that betrayed nerves despite his spreadsheet calm. “You’re fidgety,” I said, softer than I meant to.
“Gate opens again in twenty?one hours,” he admitted. “I keep replaying scenarios. What if customs AI decides our load is contraband? What if the door puts me somewhere else because I used the new bind?point option?”
“Then I’ll barricade alone until you show up,” I said. “But you haven’t failed us yet.”
He blew out a breath, nodded, but the knee kept bouncing.
I flipped to the notebook’s last page—blank except for a single line: ‘Find Mirabelle?’ My pencil wavered. “Joshua, about your mother—”
“I still don’t know if she’s alive here. But yes… next sweep, we’ll head south. There’s an old art?district loft address from Dad’s letters.”
His fidgeting slowed as he spoke of it, resolve replacing static worry.
I closed the notebook, pushed it toward him. “Here. My wish list. Our mission list.”
He tucked it beneath the cash satchels, straightened the stacks one final time. “I’ll start sourcing first thing after I cross back. I may have to rent a second storage unit in Newark.”
“Just remember,” I said, standing to stretch my aching leg, “peanut butter before diamonds. Calories are king.”
He gave a half?laugh. “Understood, quartermaster.”
We spent the afternoon loading the pearls we’d harvested—forty?one now—into a mason jar, each sphere clinking softly like tiny marbles of fate. Joshua would convert half into skill raises once the Gate kiosk revealed itself; the rest would fuel trade with friendlier scav groups on future runs.
By dusk, the ledger lay closed but our minds buzzed with plans: bank?vault breaches, Kevlar upgrades, maybe even running a garden on the cottage’s flat?roof if we could scavenge enough soil. Outside, roamers shuffled in the distance, their chorus merging with the wind. Inside, for the first time since the world cracked, our household had a budget, a procurement schedule, and a dream larger than simple survival.
Joshua tapped the notebook once more before bed. “Everything starts with a list,” he said.
I squeezed his shoulder, feeling the twitch of that restless knee finally settle. “Everything starts with wanting more than today,” I corrected, then blew out the lantern.
