On Christmas Eve, Tsukinoko woke up early and overexcited for the festivities. In the north of the country, a large town was holding a huge fair for the occasion, and they had planned to go with her friends.

  Dressed in a white winter kimono with padded boots and a huge pale pink scarf, she stuffs a few things into a small handbag with a long silver chain and strides out to meet her friends.

  Having been waiting at the village entrance for over an hour, she decided to drop by the Academy to see if they were working and had forgotten. Hina and Ma? had left on a mission together, Mikio and Takeshi were in charge of sorting out the archives, and J?net was preparing new research.

  Sullen and scowling, she shuffles out of the residence, disappointed at missing the party. As she passes through the main door, she bumps into someone, a soldier dressed in a warm beige cape. As if he'd stopped suddenly, she looks up at Kakashi, who asks confusedly what's going on.

  - It's horrible... she sniffs.

  - Is it serious?

  - Super serious! I was supposed to go to the Christmas fair with the others in the big city to the north, but they're all busy! she laments.

  - This isn't an emergency," he sighs.

  - Yes, it is! It's Christmas Eve and I have to go tonight!

  He steps around her to enter, but she immediately finds a compromise and holds him by the arm. She hesitates for a second, then shyly jumps in with a big smile.

  - Say Kakashi, do you have any-

  - No.

  - Great! Quick, I'll take you to change and-

  - No, I won't go with you," he resumes, retrieving his arm.

  - Why?" she wails. Come on... she sobs. It's so beautiful, I've never been there, I want to celebrate Christmas at least once! And it sucks that we're going alone, we could both go, eh," she says airily, "it looks so good, there's lots of entertainment and food! We're going to have so much fun Kakashi, I promise you won't be disappointed, I want to ride the Ferris wheel with you! Come on Kakashi, steuplait... she begs with tears in her eyes.

  He looks at her with a detached air for long seconds, but she doesn't let go.

  - A Christmas party... she mumbled, shaking her arm. Kakashi come on... Ka-ka-shiii...

  He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, then exclaims just before he disappears.

  - I'll meet you at the exit in twenty minutes.

  Alone but jumping up and down with excitement, she hurried off to wait for him.

  It was several hours' walk along the snow-covered road to the big city, and Tsukinoko chatted non-stop the whole way. It was customary to give presents to loved ones at Christmas, but she hadn't planned anything for him, even though he'd just accepted kindly to accompany her. As if on cue, she tries to extract information from him to find out what would please him while he's engrossed in his book.

  - Say Kakashi?

  - Now what?

  - Eh... she takes offense. What do you need right now?

  - What do you mean?" he asks, looking up.

  - Let's say a traveling salesman came along and had exactly the thing you needed right now, or wanted, whatever, what would it be?

  He remains silent, then plunges back into his book and finally answers.

  - Why don't you ask me directly? About what would make me happy as a present.

  - What would make you happy?

  - I don't know," he replies.

  She remains speechless, then puts her finger to her mouth to restrain herself from insulting him after his helpful reply.

  Arriving at the fair, Tsukinoko squeals with delight and wriggles around before abruptly pulling Kakashi by the hand and running off. They explore one food stall after another, Kakashi being carried along behind her. Bewildered, he recovers his arm and stops dead in his tracks.

  - You're going to dislocate my arm," he says angrily. Calm down, we've just arrived.

  - I'm hungry!" she laments, tears welling up in her eyes.

  - Have something to eat then.

  - But I don't know what to choose! There's so much to choose from, do I go for savoury or sweet? Or both! she exclaims, making big eyes at me. It's barely three o'clock, no longer lunchtime, but too early for a snack. There!" she shouts suddenly, pointing to a stand behind him. Daifukus! They're almost out!

  He doesn't have time to reply before she storms off towards the pit. But she immediately turns around and pulls him with her, nearly knocking him over with her momentum. After robbing the showman, Kakashi takes advantage of the fact that she's gorging herself to regain her strength and make it through the day with his indefatigable friend. But she's quick to want to ride the Ferris wheel, ice skating, merry-go-rounds, all at the same time.

  He sighs as he sets off again with her chattering without stopping, clinging to his arm so as not to lose him in the crowd.

  The fair was packed with people from all over the country to admire the decorations and entertainment, while the grounds were made up of numerous wooden huts for each merchant, loaded with fir branches, garlands and decorations of every color, all under a layer of fresh snow. In front of a stand of sparkling decorations, she curiously observes all the figures. Kakashi waved his arm after a moment, then pointed to a giant ball hanging from the ceiling. Magnificently decorated, the glass ball was tinted midnight blue, at the heart of which was a lamp that gave the impression that the decorations painted on it were dancing. Tsukinoko marveled, all the more so after guessing that Kakashi was smiling beneath his mask, happy and reassured that he was enjoying himself too.

  The crowd was dense and it was hard for them to keep up with each other. Kakashi grabbed her hand and crossed his fingers with hers, with a velvet hand, so as not to lose her.

  Tsukinoko felt very small, but so happy to be with him. After several rounds of games at various stands, they arrived at the giant ice rink, put on skates and Tsukinoko confidently made her way to the entrance, but he held her back by the arm.

  - Can you make them?

  - What's that? What?" she wonders.

  - You've never done one," he realizes jadedly.

  - Don't worry," she giggles. Look, it's easy!" she exclaims, pointing to the people skating.

  - Yes, because they-

  But she didn't listen to him and rushed onto the ice. Skating wasn't as easy as she'd thought, and she staggered several times before falling on her bottom. Slumped on the ice and sliding slowly, she tried to get up, but dropped her arms and sat on her buttocks, grimacing. Kakashi bursts out laughing behind her, accompanied by a few visitors, and she immediately takes offense.

  - Stop laughing, asshole!" she shouts, pointing at him. You can come along if you like, we'll see who's being clever!

  With as much ease as if he were walking, Kakashi joined her and squatted down in front of her, but she began to sulk, frustrated and jealous of his talents.

  - Did you hurt yourself?

  - Like you care," she rants, turning her head.

  - Come on, I'll show you how it's done.

  Feeling ridiculous, she doesn't move. He rises, sighing, but her sigh sounds different to his ears. At once mocking and tender.

  He had lowered his mask, to reveal an affectionate smile, and she remained spellbound for a second. His face, adorned with a mole on his cheek revealed for the first time, bore witness to her sincerity. As if hypnotized by his air of reassurance, she stretched out her arms towards him.

  He puts his mask back on and lifts her up to teach her to skate at her own pace. Tsukinoko finally manages, as best she can, but falls for the umpteenth time and prefers to stop before breaking a bone.

  It had been dark for a while, and they sat down to two waffles drowned in chocolate and whipped cream and two hot chocolates to warm up. Pretending to be in a hurry, she discreetly ran off to find a present, which she hid in her bag. When she returns, she sees him discreetly taking a spoonful of whipped cream from his waffle and even helping himself. She takes offense, but decides to catch him in a trap and sits back down, thanking him for looking after her things.

  - Has anyone touched my waffle?

  - Nobody," he announces seriously.

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  - I see... And the cream you stole from me before I arrived?" she asks, glaring at him.

  He doesn't know what to say, but she bursts out laughing before taking off his mask to spread some cream on his nose.

  - Enjoy," she giggles.

  He rolls his eyes and leaves her for a minute to rinse off. She finishes devouring her waffle, then waits for him for several long minutes, before catching up with him as he comes from a booth.

  - What the hell were you doing?

  - The fair's about to close, we'd better go and ride the Ferris wheel before it closes," he said without answering her question.

  She squints, then gives up. They both marvel at the view from the top of the Ferris wheel, which reveals the snowy immensity around them. One by one, the stalls closed in the streets and Tsukinoko yawned, smiling broadly as she stretched.

  - It was great... ! I can't wait to go to sleep.

  - Have you booked an inn?

  - Uh... she realizes. Crap! How do we do this?! Do you think there are any places left? I'm too lazy to go home now and we're going to freeze outside and we're not going to sleep in the street anyway and-

  - Easy," he sighs.

  All the local inns were fully booked. They left town to find a place to sleep, and followed a lonely path that pointed in the direction of a nearby town.

  The narrow path leads through the forest to a small clearing in front of some abandoned houses. They exchange a hesitant glance, then continue on. The sky clouds over and it begins to snow, but unperturbed, Tsukinoko walks with her hands outstretched to the sky to catch the flakes, until she falls on the banks of a river, completely frozen. On the abandoned pontoon, the lampposts were still powered up, illuminating the landscape.

  Everything was magnificent, pure white, as if enchanted, the snow sparkling in their eyes. Tsukinoko immediately took out her notebook to sketch, standing at the edge of the ice. Kakashi watched her for a moment, standing beside her, then took out his book to read, leaning against the lamppost.

  He looked up as he heard the sound of ice cracking in the distance. Tsukinoko, reduced to a dark silhouette by how far she had ventured, was petrified and on her knees in the middle of the river, while cracks were spreading all around her in the ice.

  He grimaces, then rushes to save her, just in time to get back to shore. He looks at her blasély, but she sulks, ashamed, and turns on her heels, cursing. He rolls his eyes but can't help silently mocking her, insatiable at her clumsiness. Suddenly, she spots a shooting star and cries out softly, pointing to its position before it flies away.

  - Did you see?" she smiled. Did you make a wish?

  - No...

  He plunged back into his reading, but she stood up abruptly and looked at him with big eyes, as the abandoned clock struck midnight. She reached into her bag and pulled out a gift-wrapped package, handing it to him with a big smile.

  - Here! Merry Christmas Kakashi.

  He seemed to expect it, and reached into his satchel to pull out a small gift bag. He handed it to her at and she was astonished, before looking forward to a real Christmas celebration.

  - Here, first! she giggles excitedly.

  He carefully unravels the wrapping paper and discovers a personal development book, in the form of a logbook full of tips and life milestones, even more complete than his own, which was already a few years old. He curiously read the summary at the back, but she immediately explained.

  - You're the loneliest person I know, but also one of the nicest," she smiles. I know you're not really like this by choice, Kakashi, but you've let me see the real you little by little, the one I've just spent a great day with! she giggles shyly. And I wish you could be like that every day, that you'd get better and move on with your mourning. You're taking your time, but I figure a little help is always useful, right? she says gently.

  - It's true..." he murmured, looking at her.

  - Do you even like it?" she hesitates. We've known each other for almost four years, but it's only been a few days since I've really heard you laugh for the first time, which makes a change from hearing you sigh," she giggles. I'm a pain, I know, but I've finally managed to see your face behind your mask, and I know that sometimes I amuse you, don't I? she smiles mockingly.

  He shrugged but she guessed a little chuckle under his mask and smiled too, pleased with his gift. He was still holding back, and she sighed softly, looking up at the stars.

  - You deserve to be happy, Kakashi. And I consider you... my friend," she hesitated shyly. And I make sure that all my friends are happy. I know that since you lost your first friends, you don't dare accept having them again. It hurts... But I've already told you, you're not alone. Whether it's at three o'clock in the morning because you're suffocating alone in your room, or when you find the drive home from work too quiet, if you need a chat or even just don't want to be alone, you know where to find me," she smiles. We all have our demons, our own battles, but that doesn't mean we have to fight them on our own

  Incredibly touched, he doesn't know what to say, and continues to look at her, searching for words. She senses his embarrassment and grabs the gift he had for her to change the subject, barely dipping her hand into the bag before he suddenly tries to take it away.

  - I-I made a mistake," he panics, "I-

  - Too bad," she chuckles, "the fair's closed, it's too late to change!

  The gift was a tiny keychain plush of a leopard. He turned red with embarrassment, confused, as she analyzed the stuffed toy, pouting.

  - Sorry, it's a stupid gift... After what you've given me, I realize that-

  - Ah but si!" she shouts abruptly without listening to him. He has the green eyes of Pansā, you remembered!" she smiled delightedly. Thank you, Kakashi!

  - Do... Do you really like it?

  - Yeah, I don't have keys, but I'll find a place for it," she giggles, pawing at the stuffed toy.

  - If you say so," he mumbles, remembering stupidly.

  - What's up with you?

  - It's just that... your gift has real value, it's for me and it's special, whereas mine is... a stuffed animal.

  - Who's all cute and you knew I'd like it because she looks like Pansā and you know I care about him, right?

  - That's true, but you don't even have a set of keys," he laments.

  - Unfortunately you ran into Hanamaru's only resident who comes in through her window," she giggles. I remember on my first mission with you, when Pansā had almost done your face in, remember?" she laughs. When I first came to the quarters, you told me I looked like him when I got angry. You knew that panthers meant a lot to me, and you tried to reassure me by saying that, in your own way. And now, almost four years later, you still remember it. It's the thought that counts, Kakashi, not the gift," she smiled warmly.

  He was moved by her kindness, even if the shame was still there. He'd like to thank her a thousand times over, but stares at his new book unsure of what to do, frustrated and uncomfortable.

  The situation really gets to him, and he loses his nerve as a blank looks on. He is drawn out of his thoughts by Tsukinoko, who gently places the little plushie's nose on Kakashi's, her eyes shining. He freezes, surprised and disturbed by her gesture, but she loosens her clenched fingers on her book and smiles tenderly.

  - It's all right, Kakashi," she said serenely. I know it's hard for you, spending time with people, having relationships again. Just the fact that you came with me today is the best gift you could have given me," she blushed. Thank you, really," she smiles shyly.

  He was paralyzed and barely dared to look at her, shocked to see that someone understood him after all his years of loneliness when he'd had no need to explain himself.

  Someone who knew how to deal with him.

  He gritted his teeth to keep from bursting into tears as a flood of emotions, each more disturbing than the last, swept through him. He thinks back to the last gifts he'd received from his late team, all of which had finally saved their lives. Almost all of them.

  He was convinced that Tsukinoko's gift of pure friendship would save him again, and thanked her a thousand times over in his mind as he realized that she'd seen through him long before tonight after all. He searches for words, but she pulls him by the hand to leave, before hurrying home.

  A dilapidated temple sat at the back of the village, where snow and dust had taken up residence. Numerous statues stood at the entrance, making the place imposing and majestic.

  Tsukinoko climbs the steps, curious, then goes inside. She kneels before the altar to reflect for a moment, while Kakashi stands behind her. She opens her eyes again, breathing softly.

  - Do you often come to pray?" he asks curiously.

  - Not at all, I felt the energy of the place when I arrived and wanted to clear my head for a while. Thanks for waiting. You should try it," she smiles, looking up at him.

  He remained unmoved and she insisted.

  - You can pray, meditate, or simply say what's on your mind. It's a spiritual place of recollection, where you can soak up the calm that reigns here.

  Finally, he knelt down beside her and put his hands on her knees to try and clear his head, but he was sent back to his old demons in a flash and opened his eyes with a frown. Tsukinoko had immediately sensed his emotions and just as he was about to get up and leave, she put her hand on his to hold him back.

  - Don't be afraid," she said gently. If you turn back and run away every time you're confronted with your sorrows, you'll never get over them. It's like ripping the bandage off a wound, you can leave it there forever because you're afraid it's going to hurt, but you won't feel really good until you take it off. The wound will heal and you won't think about the bandage anymore, and you won't be in pain. Kakashi," she said gently, "no one's going to force you to accept help, but you have to accept the fact that you need it. It's thanks to the people around you that the cracks in your heart heal; they come to fill the voids. When you grasp the hands they're holding out to you, I promise they'll pull you hard enough to get your head above water.

  She releases his hands, then leans against hers, smiling serenely as she gazes at the sumptuous divinity sculpted before them.

  - If you need someone, and even if you don't, I'll always be there.

  Silence fell and she slowly turned her head, wondering if he'd understood, but his back was to her, staring at the floor.

  She senses that he's in the grip of fear and anguish, guilt, anger, sadness, as if a cloak of darkness were draped over his shoulders. She doesn't know what to do to help him and remains silent for a moment, then proclaims firmly.

  - Raise your head, Kakashi. The deity before you is Amaterasu. She's the goddess of the sun, bringing light and warmth, watching over us from dawn to dusk. She'll never leave you in the dark. Whatever it is you're brooding over right now, all that poison and bile eating away at your insides, look up and tell her about it. Tell him everything, shout out your regrets, scream until you lose your voice. You don't have to lie here, you don't have to hide, you can be you. When dawn breaks, Amaterasu will envelop you in her warmth, dispelling the darkness around you and guiding you into the light.

  He's still not moving.

  Tsukinoko gets up slowly and leaves the temple to give him some privacy. Despite herself, she feels Kakashi's pain and crystalline tears roll down her cheeks alone.

  Dawn breaks and as the sun dazzles her eyes, piercing the horizon, she returns to him, worried that she has hurt or tormented him.

  Still kneeling before the sculpture, leaning on his hands and staring into space, he hadn't moved, his hands as cold as the ground. She knelt slowly beside him and quickly removed his coat to place it on his shoulders, helped him to his feet and led him outside, letting him lean against her.

  Enveloped in its warmth, he was dazzled by the sunrise, before which Tsukinoko stood, facing him. Suddenly warmed to the depths of his heart, he felt lighter as soon as he left the temple, and the vision before his eyes filled him with an indescribable feeling, almost feeling as if he were about to fall to his knees before the deity who had saved her.

  On the way, Tsukinoko held the little plush toy that swayed to the rhythm of her steps in one hand, and Kakashi's hand in the other, which she hadn't let go of after he'd helped her step over some bushes, without realizing it, but he hadn't said anything.

  Arriving in Hanamaru in the early hours of the morning, Kakashi walked her to the foot of her building. Tsukinoko's face lit up, and her radiant smile infected Kakashi, who let out a surprised chuckle, muffled behind his closed lips.

  Tsukinoko laughed back, delighted. She wanted to spend every day with him, she felt safe, like when he was hidden in the shadows watching her, often posted on the roof of her building. She wanted to turn the world upside down to make him feel good. She rose on tiptoe to place a kiss on his cheek. She immediately disappears home, leaving him there, his cheeks so red and his soul so fervent that you'd swear the snow was melting around him

  With a hot cup of tea beside her, she sat down in the middle of her living room to paint. Inspiration kept her awake all day. On her canvas, the snowy river threaded its way past the Monument des Chefs, and Kakashi on the bank in the foreground, stood with his hands in his pockets. Painted abstractly, facing the dawn light with his back to the landscape, which illuminated him leaving no shadow. He was accompanied by his departed friends, always there to support him, like floating clouds beside him. Satisfied with the result, she left her canvas to dry overnight, then set off to place it discreetly on the Memorial where he would gather every morning, just before his arrival.