Ode to Madeline: Party Crashout

  To be honest, it’s not every day that the killer of your family comes banging in, begging for a place to stay. But that’s the gist of what’s happening here. And I’ll have to deal with it.

  “...So, yeah! That’s why you don’t eat free livers from the police! They’re very brutal!” He grinned.

  What’s going on right now? Asha should still be napping, so that’s fine and well. She has school tomorrow morning, band practice after school, and friends to hang out with. She will be gone for a while, but she will be back, eventually! So I can’t let him stay, unless I want my daughter to get… harmed. Ugh, what can I do? Okay, I have to make him leave! That’s the only way!

  But how? He won’t leave… Because he can do whatever he wants! Damn! Damn it!

  “Madeline, what are you…?”

  I pushed past my chair and walked up to him, face-to-face. Okay, I’ll catch him off guard.

  “Here’s my neck. Kill me.” I pointed to my neck.

  God, please don’t let this go awry. I’m taking a gamble here!

  “Whaaaaaat? You crazy? Do you see me wearing a tank top?! I have standards, you know?”

  Nice, nice. So, he might just want a place to stay or crash at until he felt otherwise. Either way, he doesn’t want to hurt me, yet. I have to annoy him, so he’ll get frustrated and leave!

  “Why? You chicken? You’ve done it before. Why don’t you finish what you started? Kill me.”

  “Oh, for the love of… Welp, can’t say I’ve ever met a suicidal single mom before.”

  What did he say?

  “Oh, excuse me, sir! I’m sorry, truly! But with all due respect, have you ever been with a woman?”

  “What? What?!”

  Hehehehe. Got him.

  “Oh, nooooooooo~ Poor Mr. BP still hasn’t gotten laid!”

  “…”

  “Hah! And here I thought demons get to do any bitch they want in Hell!”

  “Madeline.”

  Oh, here it comes. Gosh, this is kinda fun. He will realize that my bickering is what he has to deal with if he wants to stay. And I’ll be so unbearable that he’ll decide it’s not worth it.

  “Madeline. Madeline. Madeline.”

  “What’s up? Is my name that melodious to you? Or, is it because you’ve never uttered a woman’s name besides your mother’s~?” I made sure to enunciate that last “mother’s.”

  “Madeline. Sweet, Madeline…”

  Damn, that is creepy. But if this is what it takes, I’ll deal with it.

  “Do you have any sweets? I’m, uh, very hungry…”

  I stood there, stunned for words. “Excuse me?”

  “I’m big-boned! And a strong, big-boned body needs nutrition! Like milk! I usually get them from Judas, but the laws took him from me, so like, uh, yeah, we’re not doing that no more.”

  “What do you need it for? It’s not like you have much to… impress,” I blurted. Oh, shit.

  “...”

  Uh, oh, that struck a nerve. Whatever. Let’s make sure he hates me.

  “What? You offended? What world exists where you’re all muscles and strong? All I see before me is a bony loser! Bitch! Uh, a mouthbreather! Uhhh…”

  Darn! I should’ve learned more swear words. Is he still aggravated?

  “Aw, that’s cute, Madeline, but not today. I’m not in the mood.”

  “Hah! In the mood? In the MOOD? Like when you chopped Mom, Dad, and Sis ‘cuz you were in the MOOD?” Wait, no. I didn’t mean to say that.

  “Uhh, yeah… uh…” He stuttered.

  No, no, no. Disengage immediately, Madeline. You cannot make him too angry. No, Madeline, stop! Stop right now! Disengage! Disengage! DISENGAGE!

  “So you think you can ruin MY LIFE because you just happened to be in the damn MOOD? What are you, a spoiled brat? Throwing away their toys when their parents give them a new one? You KILLED THEM BECAUSE YOU FELT LIKE IT?”

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  I… I… No. He deserved it.

  “Wow, you grew into a feisty lady. So you’re more than a single mom, huh? Haha…”

  “What’s so funny? What’s so FUNNY? OH, RIGHT, I FORGOT. Everything is a JOKE to you!”

  I could barely breathe.

  “Hey, Mr. BP. Did you know that Mommy Dearest was pregnant that day?! I was about to have a second sister! But, oh, what happened? YOU. YOU KILLED THEM. On that day, you have taken FOUR LIVES! And you did it FOR A FUCKING BIRTHDAY PARTY?!!!”

  “Madeli—”

  Something finally snapped in my mind.

  “Why did you let me go? It’s a question that always boggles my mind. Why? You could have killed me. It’s like breakfast to you. Just another ‘shitty brat’, eh? But it seems that you don’t EVEN FUCKING CARE! Why? Were you not ‘IN THE MOOD’? WHAT KIND OF LIMP-DICK LOSER MOUTHBREATHER CLOWN BITCH ARE YOU? Oh, I’m sorry, did you MISS THE ROAD TO THE CIRCUS, MR. BIRTHDAY BITCH?”

  “...”

  “How many have you killed? How many innocent lives have you buried with your rotten, hellish hands? Kids who wanted cakes. Kids who wanted toys. Kids who had friends at school. Kids who had loving parents. YOU KILLED THEM! Why? Because…”

  “YOU CAN’T PLAN A BIRTHDAY FOR SHIT!”

  Hmmmpth! I was strangled out of nowhere. How did it catch me? I swore I was looking at his body the whole time. Wait… He’s not moving his arm! How is he strangling me???

  “Madeline…”

  “Owww… Haha… Is someone butthurt—”

  “Sshhhhh, shush, hush, Little Madeline… You’ve been pretty naughty today, you know?”

  Fuck, he’s choking me. Damn. Ow, shit.

  “Looks like a brat will always remain a brat…” He slightly squeezed his grasp on me after every word.

  “Ughhnnn,” I tried to speak. Fuck. He’s too strong.

  “Madeline. Oh, sweeeeeeet Madeline. Who made me… madly mad about… Madeline…”

  “THE FUCK DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY PLAAAAAAAAAAAANIIIIIIIING?????? FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU, MADELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ROT IN HELLLLL!”

  “AHAHAH! There HE IS! Hiya, Mr. KILLER! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU?!”

  My throat felt dry. I don’t think I can speak anymore. Not for another month, at least. He just wanted to hurt me for the hell of it. He was always a monster. I was right. He couldn’t pretend for long enough. At least, I’ll go to heaven and leave him down below.

  Mom, Dad, Sis, are you all there? Gosh, it’s been so long. Can I see you now?

  Everyone, I—

  Thwack!

  “Leave Mommy alone!” That voice. Someone’s holding a plastic bat. Oh, no.

  “Asha?”

  “No! It is the one and only, Super Bunny Man! Protector of Mommy and Worst Nightmare of Birthday Bad Guys!” She shouted at the top of her lungs, waving her plastic bat in bunny pajamas. No, Asha, please get away. This is far too dangerou—

  “Oh, AND WHAT HAVE WE HERE? A CHILD? OHOHOHOHOHOHO! AND NONE OTHER THAN THIS BITCH’S CHILD!”

  “You’re a bad guy! You used meanie words! And you’re hurting Mommy!!!! I swear you will rue this day! Prepare to weep, dweeb! I’ll make sure you—”

  He scooped her up like she was just a feather. She was just floating in the air, neck on a stranglehold. She slowly flew toward me. No, please. Not in front of me. Please don’t hurt her. I can’t. Please.

  “Mr. BP, please stop… I am the one who messed with you. Asha’s innocent… I…”

  “WOW! A PACKAGE COMBO DEAL! O. M. G! IT’S LIKE I HIT THE MOTHER OF ALL JACKPOTS! CLEARANCE SALE IN AISLE 666! TODAY, WE HAVE A SPECIAL 69% OFF TWO-FOR-ONE DEAL! FEATURING: A BRATTY MOTHER, AND A BRATTY DAUGHTER! FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!”

  He squeezed her like she was a teddy bear. She groaned in agony, dropping her bat with a dull thud. And he kept squeezing her. Oh, nononono. I can’t bear to hear Asha cry.

  “YOU WERE TOO NAIVE, MADELINE. YOU THOUGHT THIS WORLD WAS FORGIVING? THIS WORLD ONLY TAKES AND IT NEVER GIVES! BUT YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HAVE HAPPINESS AGAIN? AND SPAWN ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR ILKS INTO THIS GODFORSAKEN WORLD? HEE HEE HEE! WORST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE, MADELINE. I WILL PERSONALLY CORRECT IT FOR YOU!”

  “Mommy… I’ll save you…”

  No, stop speaking. It hurts more if you do. I am the one who has to save you. So I struggled and squirmed, and managed to bite into his invisible claws over and over. I made sure I chewed hard on them. He didn’t budge one bit. God, why am I still thinking and monologuing? It hurt so much already.

  “LOOKS LIKE IT’S TIME TO PLAN ANOTHER BIIIIIIRRRRTHDDDAAAYYYYYYY!”

  “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

  “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

  “haHAHHhah”

  “hahaha…”

  “haha.”

  “ha… shit… so hungry…”

  “oof…”

  His grip loosened. We dropped to the floor, and I made sure to catch Asha as she landed on her tummy. He keeled over, tumbling and crashing through the wooden floor, and completely wrecking the wood.

  I checked Asha to see if there were any injuries. Her neck was bruised beyond belief, and she looked ready to bawl. I held her tight. And she cried all over my blouse, staining it. If this were any other day, I would throw a fit. But for now, it’s okay.

  “Asha, I’m sorry… I was weak…”

  “No, Mommy. He was weak! You were too strong!”

  “Asha, why didn’t you run? You could’ve gotten hurt…”

  “No! I promised to protect you! And I did! He’s defeated, Mommy! We did it!”

  “Asha, I…”

  The words trailed off, far away from my mouth. I didn’t finish that sentence. I don’t think I ever will. I just hugged her. And she hugged back. That’s enough for me.

  As for the monster, he’s passed out. Uhhh… I think?

  Hold on. This doesn’t even make any sense.

  How the hell did he pass out?