Sitting in the small staff room of the huge warehouse, Rachel and I were reeling after the discovery of permadeath.

  “I think since we have this place secured for the time being, we should give it a thorough going-through,” said Rachel. “We need to get sorted with armour and weapons if we want to survive this.”

  “I agree. So what exactly should we look for?” I asked.

  “Let’s start off with the three main things we need: thick but maneuverable clothing, weapons and books,” Rachel responded. “Artemis and I will start in the second part of the warehouse if you guys want to check this side.”

  I walked out into the first side of the warehouse, the dogs following behind me.

  “We’re looking for books, clothes and weapons, guys,” I said to them. “Like this.” I picked up a shoe from a nearby pallet and showed it to the dogs.

  Rat sniffed the shoe inquisitively and walked off, sniffing furiously as he went on the hunt. Jagger came over and sniffed the shoe, then snatched it out of my hand, running off down the aisle, proud tail in the air.

  I started out searching the first aisle. It consisted largely of canned and shelf-stable foods. Great to survive on, but not great for defence. I proceeded down the aisle when I heard Rat let out a short, sharp bark from all the way at the end. I walked down to meet him, as did Jagger, still toting the shoe. Rat sat next to a large pallet full of boxes of clothes and shoes. He was thumping his tail on the floor, as proud of his find as a drug dog with a kilogram of cocaine.

  “Good boy, Rat!” I said as I reached over to rustle his fur. I unzipped my bumbag and retrieved Rat’s stuffed bear, closing out of the menu and throwing it to him. He caught the toy mid-air and shook it enthusiastically.

  Pulling out a small box cutter I found in the staff room, I started searching through the boxes. The best things I found included thick canvas camouflage cargo pants, fur-lined short leather jackets, chunky knitted socks, workmen’s overalls and some steel-capped leather boots. I grabbed a few sets of each and brought them into the staff room to look over later.

  Seeing Rat playing happily with his bear and Jagger looking on jealously, I picked up a shirt from the box we had just opened and showed him.

  He dropped his shoe, came over and sniffed at the shirt, wagging his tail as he ran off down the next aisle. He was now a dog on a mission.

  Crap! I don’t have anything to give him if he finds something!

  “There’s got to be a toy somewhere in here,” I said to Rat, who was by my side playing with his bear. I quickly walked back up the aisle, scanning boxes and pallets as I searched for anything labelled ‘toys’. Halfway down the row, I noticed right on the top shelf was a box labelled ‘toys – girls – age 5-10’.

  “That’s my best bet!” I said to Rat as I contemplated how I would get to the top of the shelves. I looked around the warehouse and spotted a tall ladder. Perfect!

  I jogged over to the ladder and grabbed it, toting it across to the shelf and leaning it up against the side. As I climbed the rungs, I really noticed how high up the top shelf was, almost six metres off the ground. Thinking of the height, my vision started getting a little dizzy, but I pressed on. Just as I had been able to put one foot on the top shelf, from the ground below I heard a loud warbly howl coupled with the frantic squeaky shoes of a husky on fast approach. I looked down when all of a sudden my ladder was shunted out from under me. I desperately grabbed the pallet of boxes in front of me and managed to pull my other foot onto the top shelf as the ladder went crashing down.

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  “Rawrawarawr!” Jagger howled again. I sat down on the shelf and peered over the edge to see that he had found what looked to be a set of colourful underwear.

  “Good boy, Jagger,” I said, peering over the shelf cautiously.

  “Awoooooo!” he howled again, not satisfied with his lack of reward.

  “I’m a bit stuck up here boy, I’ll get you a toy soon,” I yelled to him as I tried to find a way down.

  Jagger harrumphed and started bouncing around Rat, trying to steal his bear. A couple of husky paw punches later and Jagger had successfully nicked it, letting out a muffled howl as he circled Rat, parading his stolen bear around with glee.

  Rat started barking at Jagger in a loud, almost petulant tone.

  “Rachel!” I called out, trying to be heard above the row below.

  “Woof woof”, “Awooo”, “Wooof!”, “Woooo!” the war of dog words continued.

  After about five minutes of this, Rachel and Artemis finally approached, looking at the dogs who were still tussling.

  “Where’s Kelly?” she said to the dogs, who ignored her and continued their shenanigans.

  “Hello!” I called, but I was drowned out by the racket.

  “Isn’t that Rat’s bear?” she said to Jagger as she pried the toy out his mouth and returned it to Rat.

  “Raaaaawr!” Jagger screamed. He started caterwauling continuously, but Rat, bear in mouth, pranced around silently.

  How am I going to get her attention? I looked at the boxes on the left and remembered why I had climbed up in the first place. I pulled out the box cutter from my pocket and sliced open the box, finding inside a bunch of stuffed fabric girl dolls. I pulled out one of the dolls, edged back over to the side of the shelf and dropped it down to the ground. It landed just in front of Jagger who was standing facing Rachel as he wailed. Shocked, he pounced on the toy, grabbing it and dropping to the ground, covering it like he was protecting his platoon from a landmine.

  Rachel looked up as the warehouse once again fell silent.

  “I’m up here!” I called.

  “What on earth are you doing up there?” Rachel said.

  “It’s a long story!” I replied. “Can you get the ladder that was knocked down? I’m stuck up here!”

  Rachel grabbed the ladder and started to bring it over when I noticed something from the roof above: a soft but consistent tapping was coming from outside of the metal roof.

  She set the ladder against the shelves for me and I clambered down.

  Rachel shook her head at me. “Honestly, what would you do without me?” she said.

  I pulled out another smaller stuffed girl doll from my pocket and showed it to Rachel. “I got one for Artemis too, if he wants it.” She just smiled and laughed, shaking her head as I stashed the toy in my bag.

  The two of us laughed as we walked back to the lunchroom, animals trailing behind us.

  When we returned to the small kitchen table, I showed Rachel my exciting haul of clothes.

  “That’s great!” she said, picking up the work overalls.

  “I thought I’d swap over to the cargo pants – for stealth, you know,” I said to Rachel. “And they have pockets!”

  “Nice plan. Plus, without that clunky tool belt, you’ll have a much better range of motion,” Rachel replied. “I’ll grab some dungarees. You can’t beat dungarees!”

  We tried on our new gear. I had put together an outfit befitting Lara Croft, if she were moonlighting as Biggles on the side. I had donned a pair of the camouflage cargo pants, a leather bomber jacket, a black turtleneck, brown-leather steel-capped boots and Rat’s dad’s flannel shirt. I quickly checked the new armour score in the menu – it was now at 578!

  “Et voila!” I said, popping my head around the corner and walking through the lunchroom door like I was on a catwalk.

  “Very nice,” Rachel said. “How about mine?” She swirled around in her new clothes, hammer in hand as a sinister accessory.

  “Excellent!” I remarked. “Only one thing is missing for our outfits…”

  “What’s that?” Rachel asked.

  “I need some of those rainbow underwear Jagger found!” I said.

  “Me too!” Rachel said with a giggle.

  “Show me the undies, boy,” Jagger trotted off down the second aisle. I followed him and we quickly approached a torn open pallet. Undergarments were strewn across the concrete floor; I picked up a couple of sets of the most gaudy rainbow ones I could find. Jagger and I returned to the lunchroom and I threw a set of the knickers to Rachel. “I’ll be right back,” I said as I headed around the corner to put on my pair. I unzipped my bag and entered the menu once more, noting this time that not only had my armour score gone up to 815, but I had also obtained a full box of the animal training skill.

  I closed out of the menu and once again joined Rachel at the table.

  “Who’d have thought rainbow underwear were so OP!”