On our way to the van, the rising levels of lizards became more apparent – and concerning. Spooked by the reptilian rampage, Cooper kept to the sky, unwilling to ride as a shoulder pigeon.

  We passed by the battleground from earlier but stayed slightly further away, avoiding the road and weaving between buildings as the fast-rotting corpses acted as a smorgasbord for the carnivorous members of the lizard pack.

  “Where are all these lizards coming from? It’s super-weird,” Rachel said.

  “If my memory serves me correctly, next to Old Sydney Town is the Australian Reptile Park,” I replied, watching on with horror as the bodies were devoured. “Looks like now that no-one is feeding the lizards, they’re feeding themselves.”

  Finally, we were back by the large house where we had parked, skirting snakes, turtles and lizards as we passed.

  We headed over to the van, Jagger leading the team. Rachel pulled out the keys and unlocked the doors when suddenly Jagger screamed: “Arraagahhooo!”

  He bolted back towards us, cowering behind me with his tail tucked. I looked over to the van and noticed four pudgy reptilian legs showing underneath, and a pronounced tail covered in scutes.

  “Oh shit!” I exclaimed.

  The beast rounded the van and started towards us, his gaping mouth snapping at us as he approached.

  “Oh god! Is that a croc?!” Rachel yelled.

  Not wanting to hurt the crocodile, but certainly wanting him out of the picture, I pulled out the whip and snapped it towards him. He seemed undeterred and kept approaching the team. Artemis was the first of us to break our facade of calm; panicked, letting out a loud caterwaul as he darted past the croc.

  “SNAP!” The croc’s jaws clamped down, catching the tip of Artemis’ tail as he ran by.

  “Meeoorrrow!” he screeched as he scrambled away, his tail dripping blood on the ground behind him.

  “You motherfucker!” Rachel screamed in a shrill yet furious tone. She pulled out both of her loaded shotguns and fired them directly at the beast’s head. One, two, three, four. The crocodile was dead. Pellets had made holes all over the side of the van, and chunks of crocodile flesh were scattered about like a whale that had been blown up by dynamite.

  “Artemis!!!” She called, distraught.

  I opened the van door and ushered the dogs inside, closing it behind them as Rachel and I followed the blood trail.

  In the nearby bush, sitting on a branch of a squiggly gum, was Artemis, shaking and strung out, his white fur stained by his own blood.

  “Artemis, come here!” Rachel called to the cat with tears in her eyes.

  Artemis did not budge.

  “We’ve got to get him down and stop that blood loss,” I said to Rachel.

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  We approached the tree, looking up at the branch where Artemis sat. Rachel tried to reach up to grab him, but her short stature meant she could hardly reach halfway up.

  “Stand on my shoulders,” I said to Rachel, bending down by the tree for her to climb on.

  She clambered on top of me, trying desperately to climb up to the branch, but she lost her balance and toppled to the ground below with a crunch.

  “Aah!” Rachel yelled.

  “Are you okay?!” I asked, preparing to complete a first-aid check.

  “I’m fine!” Rachel said, now actively bawling. “Just get Artemis!”

  I looked up at the cat and honestly had no idea how I was going to retrieve him. Artemis seemed to now be drifting in and out of consciousness, his little green eyes struggling to stay open.

  As I stood motionless for some time, assessing my options, Cooper felt it safe to return and landed on my shoulder. He looked up at the branch and noticed the cat at which Rachel and I were both staring. Cocking his head to look at my face, he could see that I too had misty eyes.

  Cooper jumped off my shoulder, flying in a parabola up to the branch where Artemis clung. In an absolutely bizarre moment, Cooper perched next to Artemis’ face, using his smooth pigeon wing to stroke the cat’s head. Startled by this contact, Artemis opened his eyes, letting out a small meow and retracting his claws from the tree bark.

  Cooper jumped back as Artemis toppled from the branch, his dwindling consciousness preventing him from righting himself.

  I lunged forward and stretched out my arms, thankfully catching the cat as he fell.

  “Artemis!!!” Rachel garbled through exasperated sobs.

  Cooper flew back down to my shoulder as I carried the passed-out cat in my arms.

  “I’ve got to get him fixed up now. He may have lost too much blood!” I called to Rachel, leaving her on the ground as I took Artemis into the van.

  “Health check!” I said sharply, the menu opening up, plunging me back into the now-familiar darkness.

  Artemis the cat – 5%

  Tail amputation

  Haemorrhagic shock

  Dislocated shoulder

  Unconscious

  I grabbed furiously at the text in front of me, opening overlaid text asking to apply first-aid and bandages. I hit ‘yes’ to everything that opened and bandaged the tail tightly to prevent further blood loss. I closed out of the menu. I looked down at Artemis and placed him gently onto the front seat. I jumped out of the van and ran to the back, grabbing blankets from one of the bags we had packed. Running back to the front seat, I wrapped Artemis lightly in the blankets, hoping the warmth would ease his shock. Looking through tears at the face of the little cat, I felt a furry muzzle rest by my neck.

  “Please be okay,” I whimpered as Rat looked on over my shoulder.

  What seemed like an eternity passed as I stared at Artemis. Cooper flapped over, landing on the steering wheel of the van.

  The whole team watched on helplessly, listening to the poor cat’s laboured breathing. Artemis made a rattly cough and then his raspy breaths ceased.

  “CLUNK!” The back door of the van suddenly opened and Rachel shuffled in, wincing with each movement.

  “I couldn’t wait any longer – please say my boy is okay!” she cried.

  I turned back to Rachel, tears streaming down my face as I opened my mouth. I couldn’t muster the words.

  “Mew,” a soft voice murmured from the front seat. I looked down to see little Artemis had opened his eyes slightly and, although clearly in pain, he was alive!

  “He must have heard your voice,” I said to Rachel, who, knowing Artemis had pulled through, slunk back into the seat.

  “Health check,” I said quietly, bringing me back into the menu. I looked over Artemis’ stats and, finally, he had started to regain health, with the bar now sitting at 8%.

  “Thank god,” I sighed. I looked at the menu tabs and flicked through the team. Rat and Jagger were fine, both on full health, as was Cooper. I flicked to Rachel, however, and was shocked to see that her bar had dropped to 40%, showing now both her Goodpasture Syndrome and also a broken tibia.

  “Jesus woman!” I said to myself as I opted to treat her wounds, pump her with medicine, then splint and bandage her leg. I closed out of the menu and looked at Rachel. Our eyes met and she looked down, simply saying “Thank you”.

  “Let’s get out of here,” I said to the team, turning over the ignition and starting the van. With various grunts and groans as agreement, I drove out of the park and back the way we came, seeking sanctuary for the ailing crew. “See you later, alligator!”