‘Battle Hero’ was a goddamn dumpster fire of a game.
Of course, even this trainwreck had its glorious past. When it first unched, it was praised as a well-made game, drawing high expectations from countless gamers.
One of Battle Hero’s unique charms was its highly customizable character appearances, offering a distinct vibe compared to other MOBAs. Pyers could freely design their character’s looks and then choose from various role-based csses to join battles. Many users even identified themselves with the avatars they painstakingly created.
A so-called over-immersion game, you could say. At its peak, if you walked into a PC room, a slight exaggeration would have you believe over half the people there were pying Battle Hero.
“Should’ve quit when it was still good, before everyone else bailed.”
Sadly, that popurity didn’t st.
The rise and fall of a matchmaking game could be measured by its queue times.
Hajin’s neatly furrowed brow twitched as he waited nearly a full minute for a match. He picked up his phone, which he’d left beside his keyboard, and tapped out a message.
Wanna py BH?
What were the odds of spending all his precious time between graduation and enlistment in a PC room, only to run into cssmates, let alone ones who pyed the same game AND in the same tier?
In the three-person group chat born from this rare bond, Hajin sent a friendly message.
The read notification barely appeared before replies flooded in.
[Lee Jiyoon] Who still pys that dead game~? Come py LoH with me.
The combat feedback sucks though
[Lee Jiyoon] Excuse me? BH’s devs killed it~
[Lee Jiyoon] New css bance is trash too.
[Choi Minhyuk] Fr. When they spped random combat stats on costumes
[Choi Minhyuk] Should’ve cut losses like me lol.
Only costumes got stats, not hairstyles.
[Choi Minhyuk] Bro really defending this? Whale alert?
[Lee Jiyoon] Hajin-ah?? Don’t cry, expin slowly?
Why’d you two quit?
Why can’t I quit this trash game? Why am I still suffering?
Battle Hero was pyed from a behind-the-shoulder perspective, meaning pyers had to occasionally swing their mouse cursor around to check their character’s rear. Since the entire map couldn’t be monitored in real time, failing to track enemy movements meant getting ambushed out of nowhere. Compared to other MOBAs, the map was smaller, making stealth attacks and surprise engagements far more common.
The sheer immersion and visceral combat kept a dedicated fanbase hooked, even as the game’s popurity visibly waned. It was also why Hajin, like a salmon returning to its spawning grounds, couldn’t stay away even after his military service.
[Choi Minhyuk] Is the matchmaking even working?
[Choi Minhyuk] Seems like there are still masochists like you pying lolol
It’s not dead yet.There are more pyers than you think…
[Lee Jiyoon] yeah yeah wipe your tears lolol my friend still pys while cursing at it.
What’s your friend’s role?
[Lee Jiyoon] Ranged DPS.
[Lee Jiyoon] But they’re not in your tier.
Tiers were report cards. Every win increased your fame, and once enough was accumuted, you faced promotion matches at each bracket. Pying with simirly skilled users was fun, and higher tiers rewarded better loot, so pyers treated their rank like life or death.
Battle Hero’s ranked tiers were divided as follows:
Bronze V~I
Silver IV~I
Gold IV~I
Ptinum III~I
Diamond III~I
And the top 1st to 100th pyers held the highest tier: Hero.
What tier are they?
[Lee Jiyoon] Silver trash lol you’re diamond, right?
The more you abandon reality, the higher your in-game tier climbs.
Staring at Jiyoon’s message, Hajin recalled the dark age that had crashed into his life after freshman year finals.
He’d done nothing but game until enlistment day. Even the notoriously stingy PC rooms owner had taken pity, offering him free drinks every day.
Back then, Hajin fled to the game due to the burden of his life, and he hadn’t even noticed how grueling the climb was. He just woke up one day in Diamond. There were familiar faces back then, and Jiyoon and Minhyuk had still been grinding Battle Hero, so he’d never felt lonely running rank games as a duo or trio.
But after the military, everything changed.
Jiyoon and Minhyuk had long moved on to different games, and the friends he’d known had either quit or changed their usernames beyond recognition.
He couldn’t even bring himself to whisper random people on his friends list, who might’ve blocked him during his hiatus, to queue together.
That was why Hajin now threw himself into ranked matches alone.
Remembering today’s teammates—demons in disguise—he quickly typed back.
It’s fine. I’m Bronze now.
Please introduce me to a real DPS.
On my fifth promo series. Just let me hit Gold.
I want to py with humans.
His pcement results: 4 wins, 6 losses. Silver 2.
His long hiatus from gaming due to military service meant he hadn’t even received proper tier adjustments from the previous season. Had the system calibrated him fairly, he’d have started at least in Gold…
At first, he remained naively optimistic, thinking, If I just py well enough, I’ll climb eventually.
But the lower tiers revealed an entirely different world.
For starters, the py styles and decision-making were nothing like the high-tier. There were moments when he’d deliver fragile enemy melee DPS right into the hands of his sparrow-like ranged DPS allies, only to realize his entire team had been sughtered instead.
When he asked how three pyers could possibly die to one melee DPS, the answers were always the same:
“What were we supposed to do after you threw their melee into our backline?”
…So as the solo tank, I’m supposed to hold the frontline to prevent enemy engages. What more do you want? Should I have abandoned vision control just to babysit three ranged DPS whacking away at one melee until the entire enemy team colpses on us?
A tank’s core duty was maintaining vision, scouting enemy positions to mitigate ambushes. In Battle Hero, where fnks could come from anywhere, vision was paramount. The better a tank tracked the enemy, the safer his damage dealers were.
This was also why teams needed two tanks. A single tank couldn’t possibly track all five enemies alone.
In a team with a solo tank, the tank had to pull double duty: delivering priority targets to his team and scrambling to cut off enemy rotations. He was already overworked to the brink of colpse, and now his team screamed for even more. Their demands made his neck stiffen in frustration. It was like serving a full meal only for them to flip the table because no one handed them chopsticks.
Even when he lit up the mini-map like a Christmas tree, they’d still wander into no-go zones and get their ass beaten.
He’d set up perfect engage angles, only for his team to fail recognizing them as opportunities.
They never backed him up when called, yet refused to retreat when overwhelmed. Their stubbornness rivaled that of Admiral Yi Sun-sin charging into battle, except Yi Sun-sin defeated 133 enemy warships with just 12, while these idiots struggled in a perfectly even 5v5. Hajin wasn’t their parent, yet he was bending over backward wiping his DPS’ noses every game.
Call me on Parents’ Day, you ungrateful shits.
[Choi Minhyuk] lololololol
[Choi Minhyuk] My chest feels heavy
[Choi Minhyuk] But me? I quit BH so glhf^^
[Lee Jiyoon] Nah he still pys BH sometimes btw lol
[Lee Jiyoon] His faction is Whisys too
To make matters worse, this dumpster fire of a game had a faction system at account creation. Pyers were locked into matching only with allies from their chosen faction, while enemies would always be from the opposing one.
There were two factions in the game: Whisys and Ermetel. Hajin chose Ermetel, not for any deep reason, but simply because he liked how it sounded. Most new pyers picked their faction just as casually.
But the developers were btantly trying to fuel faction tribalism. Your choice was permanent, locking you into faction-specific storylines. Unless you met in designated neutral zones, you couldn’t even chat with the opposing faction. Their design was practically screaming “Pick a side and hate the other.”
Seriously? Do they actually think modern, civilized people would obsess over some digital faction war? It was almost ughable. Then again, every wrong in this game was probably Whisys bastards’ fault anyway.
Alright no grouping with Whisys rats
[Lee Jiyoon] Still malding over factions lololol
[Lee Jiyoon] Whisys clowns lolol trash faction but whatevs~^^
[Choi Minhyuk] Lowkey picking Whisys = zero understanding of BH lore
[Choi Minhyuk] If you actually read the story, you’d never choose them
[Lee Jiyoon] Facts
The conversation unfolded peacefully, like kimchi-making volunteers bonding over perfectly fermented cabbage.
[Lee Jiyoon] Btw Lee Hajin! Forget BH! Let’s meet up IRL? I barely remember your face
[Lee Jiyoon] You living alone now? Hows life? ?
No, I’m still at home, moving out when semester starts
Just rotting here pying BH…
[Choi Minhyuk] Bro selling his irl physical stats to be a NEET? Share some with me
[Choi Minhyuk] You ghosted us all through enlistment. How’d you even survive leave? Touch grass?
Hajin had cut ties completely during military service, suspending his phone pn to sever all worldly connections. The teasing resumed now that he’d finally reappeared post-discharge.
He apologized again calmly.
My bad; but what would I need a phone for on leave?
I just helped my parents then went back to the base
[Choi Minhyuk] They pay you for that bor?
No, keep your pity to yourself
I just came back to BH st week after discharge and did my pcements
[Choi Minhyuk] And? Bronze?
lol
Y’all should come back too. Peak gaming for real
It hits different after a long break
Just moments ago, Hajin had been raging after a ruined ranked game, calling Battle Hero a dumpster fire that deserved to be shut down, yet now he spoke with unsettling serenity, trying to recruit his friends.
[Lee Jiyoon] ? Bro’s committing fraud with this sales pitch
[Lee Jiyoon] You know scamming people will get you arrested, right?
[Choi Minhyuk] LMAOOO stop malding over that dead game
[Choi Minhyuk] Go outside, touch grass, py something else
No wait just hear me out
[Choi Minhyuk] Cssic scammer tactic: “Just hear me out” first
LISTEN. If I tank, Jiyoon goes melee DPS, and Minhyuk ranges
We’d smash back into Diamond today. Why take the hard path?
[Lee Jiyoon] nahhh the queue’s cursed rn. Not carrying two randoms
Jiyoon’s tone, briefly warm, turned sharp again as Hajin doubled down.
[Lee Jiyoon] Also these zoomers have ZERO grit smh
[Lee Jiyoon] “24k damage as Gunner??” Back in MY day that was UNTHINKABLE lolol U a tank Gunner or what?
[Choi Minhyuk] Fr modern ranged DPS cry if you ask them to position
[Choi Minhyuk] OG pyers invented creating engage angles. Now it’s all “wahhh too hard” smh
[Choi Minhyuk] Once went 21 kills and STILL lost lolol Other DPS went 1 kill 7 death
That’s why it has to be us three.
[Choi Minhyuk] Just queue DPS in Bronze. Trust.
If I don’t tank, it’s NO-TANK HELL down here
Please. I’ll carry. I’ll be good.
[Lee Jiyoon] ☆I’ll be good if you py LoH with me☆
[Choi Minhyuk] ☆I’ll be good if you py Fantasy Story with me☆
☆I hate you both☆
Ignoring their taunts, Hajin sighed and turned back to his monitor. It was clear: no one would py Battle Hero with him no matter how hard he begged.
Annoying, but inevitable. Until he found another game with the same bone-deep combat thrill, he was stuck here. And if he couldn’t have the best team, he’d settle for the next best thing.
“If I meet a decent pyer in-game, I’m kidnapping them on the spot.”
In lower tiers like Silver or Gold or even Ptinum, a solid duo (one reliable tank, one burst DPS) could climb easily with minimal coordination.
Right now, what Hajin needed was a trustworthy nuke dealer.
Suddenly, hope began to bloom.
Truth be told, there was no shortage of DPS pyers. Even in the lowest tiers, you’d occasionally run into one or two sharp-eyed damage dealers, pyers who knew how to spot openings but were just trapped in the deep hell by bad timing…
Hajin clenched his fist, feeling a surge of determination.
***
‘LOSE!’‘DEFEAT.’
This was bad.
There were no people.
Hajin felt dazed, as if he’d been dragged into a fierce battle of stupidity, one where the only prize was determining who was the bigger fool. He had already lost three matches in a row. Forget climbing to Gold; at this rate, he’d soon be demoted to Silver 2.
For the past week, queuing as a tank in ranked matches had made Hajin want to smash his keyboard, shatter his monitor, and renounce the mortal world roughly 260 times. Just as he was spiraling into existential despair—Why am I suffering like this for something that doesn’t even make money?—he stumbled upon a video recommended by a free streaming app: “Emptying Your Mental Trash Bin.”
The video cimed that journaling and reflecting on each day helped with anger management.
And so, like Sisyphus from Greek mythology, Hajin began chronicling his torment: day after day of trudging toward victory with teams full of quitters, only to tumble back into the abyss of defeat. His tiny diaries filled with agonizingly brief entries.
Hadn’t Charlie Chaplin said it? “Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long shot.”
[Choi Minhyuk] fck lmaooooooo
[Lee Jiyoon] lol I literally look forward to midnight every day now lololol
[Choi Minhyuk] Yo, but fr, the fact that you’re still hardstuck Silver instead of dropping to Bronze makes you the real winner
His friends in the group chat found Hajin’s nightly diary updates, simir to a survival report, hirious. From a safe distance, they delighted in his suffering like the cruel spectators they were.
I’m not even kidding, sometimes it’s genuinely horrifying.
The fact that there’s a rank even lower than this
If people in Silver are already fighting like brainless piranhas, what the hell are Bronze pyers even doing with their lives?
At this point, I’m convinced it’s just literal hell.
[Lee Jiyoon] Aww, Hajjin-ie!! Come on, talk to us!! Don’t cry!! lol
[Choi Minhyuk] If it’s too much, quit BH and come to FanSto. I’ll carry your scrub ass lol
[Choi Minhyuk] This hyung-ah is a max level now lolol
[Lee Jiyoon] LMAOOOOOOOO
A few excerpts from the diary read as follows:
February 3rd
We lost.
I’m seething at the sheer ck of conscience from these melee DPS pyers who pick the role with zero intention of honoring its responsibilities.
While I, the tank, went 4/3/26,
I’m pretty sure I encountered at least five melee DPS today who went 3/12/6.
If I hold vision on the right side of the map, they sprint left and get assassinated.
If I hold vision on the left, they sprint right and get assassinated.
By the time I finished agonizing over how to salvage the game, it was already over.
I feel empty.
February 4th
Battle Hero is a game where controlling the three main nes and securing vision is crucial for gaining an advantage. When there’s only one tank, vision inevitably suffers, which is why pushing the Underne is so important.
But here’s the thing: pushing Under isn’t the tank’s job.
The DPS should clear the ne, and the tank’s duty is to provide vision so they don’t get ambushed.
So why aren’t they pushing it?
What the hell are they even doing?
You picked a DPS role; why aren’t you clearing nes or dealing damage? At this point, you’re not a “DPS,” you’re just a “PS.”
With three ranged DPS on the team and none of them clearing nes, I was left to do it alone. It made me think deeply. I finally understand why people turn to religion. Maybe I should convert, at least then I’d find some soce.
February 5th
Today, I tried double-tank for the first time and was feeling hyped… until the off-tank started following me everywhere.
If I’m holding mainline, the off-tank should either protect our backline or fnk the enemy. But no. This guy didn’t get it.
Every time I got jumped, he was right there beside me, taking the beating too. At least I wasn’t lonely…
At this point, it’s beyond a skill issue. I think what I need now isn’t effort. It’s prayer.
February 6th
I told you to push the ne ahead.
For the love of god, my one and only wish, farm the Underne, stack coins, upgrade your gear, and stop dying.
How many times do I have to expin? If you don’t clear the ne, vision stays open, and the enemy melee DPS will just waltz in and assassinate you.
And if you’re pying support in a solo-tank comp, your job is to predict vision gaps and cover the backline. But this psychopath support was so busy tunnel-visioning on dealing damage that they let our ranged DPS get dove by a melee, while they just charged forward, mindlessly spamming attacks.
It was pure chaos. I don’t even know what I just witnessed.
February 7th
Hey guys, is Battle Hero too hard for you?
It’s a simple game.
Smash the Crystal Towers.
Farm the Underne.
Kill enemies.
Hunt the mobs around the camp.
Bust your ass earning coins, then upgrade your gear at the allied camp’s summoning circle to get stronger quickly.
So why aren’t you upgrading your gear…?
You’re the DPS. Don’t you… y’know… want to deal damage?
Don’t you want to feel that unstoppable power, the rush of a pentakill…?
Why aren’t you strengthening your gear, you crazy bastards? What the hell do you even want?!
February 8th
Who popurized this “No Ownership” meta while I was in the military?
BH is ultimately a game where you strengthen yourself by quickly enhancing your weapon, helmet, chestpiece, gloves, belt, pants, boots, earrings, neckce, bracelets, and two rings, leveling up attack/critical stats and defense/evasion stats.
The ranged DPS I partied with today had only enhanced their gear 12 times by the time I’d done mine 16 times. When I asked why they’d barely upgraded, they said they were broke.
I’m the one who’s spending all my coins on HP recovery items until my spine cracks, so why are you broke? We cried together over it.
The melee DPS had enhanced their gear 20 times, but their total damage was suspiciously low. When I checked:
[Weapon1 Helmet0 Gloves2 Chest5 Belt2 Pants5 Boots2 Earring1 Neckce1 Bracelet1 Ring0 Ring0]
I couldn’t believe my eyes at this bizarre enhancement path.
A melee DPS should normally prioritize upgrading their weapon, helmet, gloves, and accessories for damage output. But this guy wasn’t even a tank. He’d gone full defense, maxing out his chest, belt, and pants like some pacifist damage sponge.
When I asked what kind of strategy this was, his answer was legendary:
“The enemy team’s ranged DPS hurt too much.”
If the enemy ranged DPS is strong, shouldn’t you dodge their skills and burst them down first?
Is this some kind of non-violent meta where you just stack defense the more they hurt you?
Why are you even pying this goddamn toxic game? Go join a human rights campaign or something.
I’m so confused.
February 9th
Fuck it. I’m pying DPS.
Tank strike.
Never tanking again.
February 10th
Nobody’s pying tank.
Three matches in a row, no tank, just five DPS. I’m heartbroken.
February 11th
No.
That’s not how you tank…
A tank’s mechanics are secondary. What matters is judgment and the ability to read team comps…
Last match, both my team and the enemy had solo tanks.
But our tank’s css had higher damage output than the enemy’s while being weaker in defense and evasion. Any decent pyer would’ve used cover for hit-and-run tactics since they couldn’t face-tank as long.
But our glorious tank charged headfirst into the enemy team in open terrain and ate four ultis at once. His st words were:
‘Wow our DPS is so trash?? I 1v4 and you do nothing. I fkin can’t tank with this.’
Stunned, I quickly checked his stats.
0 kills, 14 deaths, 2 assists.
You were just a goddamn punching bag, you fucking idiot.
It’s because of clowns like you that no DPS responds when I actually call for backup properly.
Now I get why nobody reacts to tank assist pings in Silver tier.
Ah, whatever.
I’m sorry… I really am.
February 12th
Maybe I should organize my costumes and quit this game.
Personally, I think League of Heroes would be more fun than Fantasy Story.
Or should I just ditch this godforsaken mess and switch to an MMORPG?
I wouldn’t mind moving to a game with good fishing mechanics either.
I don’t want to think about anything.
I just want to catch some mullet.
I heard you can even board deep-sea fishing boats in games these days.
Since it’s a game, I bet I could hook a shark, right?
While waiting for the rematch, Hajin took off his headset and stretched stiffly. His lower back ached from sitting too long. Rolling his neck with a sigh, he grabbed a can of co from the fridge.
The crisp click of the tab opening coincided with the matchmaking confirmation.
In Battle Hero, each team could ban three csses per match, preventing either side from picking them. With both teams banning three each, six csses total could be locked out, unpyable for anyone.
The Whisys faction’s first ban was Dark Knight, a tank css.
Dark Knight was a frequent ban target, a tank with absurdly high DPS for its role.
[TEAM] DespairMe: I’ll go Knight
[TEAM] DespairMe: ban Ice Fairy
The Ice Fairy was a support-css character notorious for being loaded with crowd-control (CC) abilities that tanks despised.
Even a tank cd in Super Armor could be hit with two different status ailments, and its ultimate, which froze everyone in the vicinity for two seconds, was downright disgusting.
‘Ice Fairy has been banned with 2 votes.’
And so, both teams banned three csses each. The results were as follows:
Whysis TeamBans: Dark Knight, Necromancer, Witch
Ermetel TeamBans: Ice Fairy, Gunner, Blood Mage
[TEAM] DespairMe: Don’t need an off-tank, I’ll solo tank. Just pick a support and protect the ranged DPS.
Originally, Battle Hero, a game that prioritized vision control, recommended a composition of two tanks, two ranged DPS, and one melee DPS.
But in lower tiers, running double tanks often backfired. The drawbacks—lower damage output and overpping vision—outweighed the benefits of a proper comp. That’s why Hajin hoped his team would pick a support with higher damage rather than another tank.
Besides, based on his experience since returning to the game after being discharged, coordinating with a random off-tank was a nightmare. Trying to sync up with some rando sub-tank felt harder than catching a damn unicorn.
[TEAM] AfricanMango: Alright then
[TEAM] AfricanMango: I’ll pick Exorcist and peel for the ranged DPS
[TEAM] DespairMe: Ty
The Exorcist was a decent choice: a support-type ranged DPS with solid CC to handle melee threats.
After the tedious ban-pick phase, the final team comps shaped up like this:
Whysis TeamTank: PadinTank: GunbdeRanged DPS: ArchmageSupport: BishopMelee DPS: Ranger
Ermetel TeamTank: KnightRanged DPS: Dark MageRanged DPS: MechanicSupport: ExorcistMelee DPS: Ninja
Was this the fate of those still clinging to this dumpster fire of a game?
The moment the picks locked in, the team erupted into chaos.
It all started with a misunderstanding.
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): Bro this ninja trolling? lmao
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): This dumbass came to int
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): Oh nvm it’s a duo. Ofc it’s a troll duo
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): Knight, maybe stop friending these clowns?
[TEAM] DespairMe (KNIGHT): ??
[TEAM] DespairMe (KNIGHT): Ninja’s not my premade dumbass
[TEAM] DespairMe (KNIGHT): It’s my first time seeing them today
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): Stfu liar, your nicks match
Hajin shamelessly skimmed over the Ninja pyer’s username again. Truthfully, it had caught his eye earlier when they matched.
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): Tlel your buddy to stop picking dogshit-tier trash like ninja in ranked
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): Ffs low-tier lobbies are full of these ****** clowns
[TEAM] DespairMe (KNIGHT): “Tell” (O) / “Tlel” (X)
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): STFU I meant tlel the ninja not you
[TEAM] DespairMe (KNIGHT): “Tell” (O) / “Tlel” (X)
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): **** you
[TEAM] DespairMe (KNIGHT): But to be fair, Ninja is trash-tier
[TEAM] CuteMe (NINJA): But when I py it? God-tier.
[TEAM] DespairMe (KNIGHT): Just stay quiet, you’ll set him off again
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): Definitely a troll duo lmao *******
DespairMe and CuteMe.
The usernames were obviously a matching set, no wonder it caused misunderstandings. After crawling through the gutter of ranked long enough, Hajin wasn’t even fazed by petty squabbles anymore.
As the team’s camaraderie burned to ashes before his eyes, Hajin calmly prepped for the inevitable demotion match.
Weird. The co tasted bitter today. Had it gone ft? Or was stress messing with his taste buds?
Hajin’s lips twisted wryly. Battle Hero ranked was a circus. Some pyers existed solely to throw, others to clean up the mess. And Hajin? He’d always been the janitor.
With a faint smile, his fingers danced across the keyboard.
[TEAM] DespairMe (KNIGHT): Anyway, mental up and let’s py. We haven’t even teamfought yet
[TEAM] AfricanMango (EXORCIST): Lmao my mental’s as dead as this dogwater game
[TEAM] AfricanMango (EXORCIST): Stop pying like a braindead monkey
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): TF you care how I py, *******?
[TEAM] AfricanMango (EXORCIST): Just worried
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): **** you, you ****** creep
At least no one seemed intent on running it down yet.
Despite the chat war, his teammates diligently fortified their base, killing mobs and upgrading gear. Meanwhile, Hajin spotted the enemy team demolishing their outer Crystal Tower and pinged the opposite ne.
[TEAM] DespairMe (KNIGHT): Their melee DPS is MIA, py safe and focus Crystal Tower first
‘1 KILL!’
“?”
Hajin jerked his gaze to the mini-map. The Ninja had oneshot the enemy Ranger and now strolled back to regroup, casually helping destroy their Crystal Tower like it was nothing.
Against all expectations, the Ninja—who’d made zero impression earlier—suddenly looked radiant. Even the default Ninja outfit and jet-bck hair seemed sleek, almost stylish.
[TEAM] AfricanMango (EXORCIST): lmao nevermind their melee’s already dead
His heart fluttered.
Was it because a Ninja, the lowest-tier melee DPS, had instantly assassinated a Ranger, one of the top-tier melee picks? Or was it because the Ninja didn’t even bother gloating in chat after the kill?
Hajin took another sip of co. This time, the sweetness lingered thickly from the tip of his tongue to the roof of his mouth. Savoring the taste, he refocused on the game.
This match’s first move had been perfect.
‘VICTORY!’‘YOU HAVE WON!’<+95 Fame Points earned!>
Hajin blinked bnkly as he pressed the rematch hotkey. The game had been suspiciously easy.
Their Exorcist had pyed smart, diligently protecting the ranged DPS.
The second teamfight broke out while Hajin, the solo tank, dove into the enemy backline to lock down their carries. For a moment, he worried when the enemy melee DPS slipped past to fnk their own backline, but the Exorcist’s long-range [Holy Light] skill relentlessly harassed them, preventing any damage to their carries.
Meanwhile, their ranged DPS noticed the fnk and unloaded their burst, killing the enemy melee before the fight even properly started. Naturally, they steamrolled from there.
But the real standout was the Ninja.
It was like the Ninja had maphacks. They always knew where the enemy DPS were hiding. At one point, an enemy carry respawned, only to get instantly assassinated by the Ninja the moment they stepped back into ne. With no gold for items after repeated deaths, the enemy DPS became utterly useless in seconds.
Meanwhile, the Ninja snowballed out of control, turning the te game into their personal highlight reel.
In Battle Hero, every ally earned shared gold whenever someone secured a kill. The Ninja’s massacre funneled so much gold into the team that their item leads surpassed the enemy’s by 15+. The fights weren’t even close.
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): Sir
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): My bad
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): U were right about ninja, sir
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): NinjaGOD fr
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): Free carry, gg lmao
[TEAM] AfricanMango (EXORCIST): Smurf duo?
[TEAM] DespairMe (KNIGHT): Literally randoms
[TEAM] DespairMe (KNIGHT): gg anyway
[TEAM] NotMyFault (MECHANIC): gg
The rematch queue popped instantly, thanks to the cursed matchmaking system that recycled the same small pool of pyers in the same faction. Among them was someone he’d just met.
[TEAM] CuteMe: Hi
[TEAM] AfricanMango: lol y’all are a duo
It was the Exorcist and Ninja from st game, the two whose pys had impressed Hajin.
[TEAM] DespairMe: Not a duo, I swear…
Of course, Hajin was only human.
How could he not have a good impression of CuteMe, the Ninja who’d hard-carried? Frankly, he was thrilled to see them again.
Even after dropping to the abyss-tier and switching to tank, Hajin had secretly fantasized about smashing in the skulls of his own braindead DPS before even smashing the enemy.
But this st game had been different. If he could guarantee his DPS would always perform like that, Hajin would gdly spend the rest of his life as a humble tank sve, surrendering every st coin to his carries.
Honestly, if that mysteriously matching-username pyer hadn’t been a melee DPS main, Hajin would’ve immediately whispered them after the match.
But he knew better.
Melee DPS weren’t to be trusted.
Sure, they’d occasionally pop off like a lottery win, but when they fed, they fed hard, leeching off their team’s resources and bleeding them dry.
Some melee DPS would die out of nowhere, then bark nonsense like “I was checking vision.”
Since when do DPS tank? If you want vision control, py an actual tank role. Why queue as melee DPS?
No one would compin if they died watching the enemy fnk to protect their backline. But no, they’d just feed solo in dead space and then spew bullshit.
Hajin still didn’t understand why they wasted their mobility tools, designed for diving backlines or securing picks, on stupid engages instead. One carry performance wasn’t enough to undo years of betrayal trauma.
[TEAM] AfricanMango: bro if y’all keep this up it’s gonna be boring lol
[TEAM] DespairMe: ? I swear I don’t know them
[TEAM] AfricanMango: lmao is this some fake feud RP?
[TEAM] AfricanMango: Anyway I’ll supp. Bishop or Exorcist
[TEAM] AfricanMango: I’ll go Knight or Padin depending on their comp
[TEAM] CoffeeSve: If Dark Knight isn’t banned I’m running it down
[TEAM] NerfGunnerPls: Ban Gunner
The Ermetel team’s first ban was Dark Knight. Whysis, meanwhile, banned Ninja.
Normally, bans targeted overpowered picks or hard counters. Ninja was far from ban-worthy, meaning someone on their team had probably thrown a tantrum to force it. Sometimes, teams banned picks just to spite stubborn teammates. A tragic tale.
Whysis TeamBans: Ninja, Ice Fairy, Witch
Ermetel TeamBans: Dark Knight, Archmage, Ranger
[TEAM] NerfGunnerPls: I said ban GUNNER. Who banned Ranger?
[TEAM] NerfGunnerPls: Ffs I was gonna py Ranger -_-
The silent response came from CuteMe, who locked in Gunner. In retaliation, NerfGunnerPls picked Brawler, another melee DPS.
Hajin sighed. This was a decration of mutual destruction.
[TEAM] DespairMe: Gunner and Ranger guy. Answer me seriously.
[TEAM] DespairMe: Seriously.
[TEAM] DespairMe: Are we really doing double melee DPS?
While melee DPS excelled at dueling and assassination, they had one gring weakness: Crystal Towers took 45% reduced damage from melee attacks.
Worse, their fnking routes were predictable. Two melee DPS would inevitably overp, rendering one mostly useless.
In Battle Hero, double melee was a comp no sane pyer would ever run.
[TEAM] CoffeeSve: double melee in ranked
[TEAM] CoffeeSve: were scrwed
[TEAM] DespairMe: Guys please
[TEAM] DespairMe: Use your brains not your spinal reflexes this isn’t hard
[TEAM] AfricanMango: With this comp… might as well go ranged DPS
[TEAM] AfricanMango: GL solo tanking, bme melee if we lose
Hajin was midway typing “no solo tank without support” when the loading screen abruptly cut him off.
Whysis TeamTank: KnightTank: GunbdeRanged DPS: Dark MageRanged DPS: SummonerMelee DPS: Berserker
Ermetel TeamTank: PadinRanged DPS: FirefoxRanged DPS: SniperMelee DPS: GunnerMelee DPS: Brawler
Their comp looked like the aftermath of a team civil war. Hajin could practically see the enemy team dancing behind their monitors at the free win.
Two melee DPS was bad enough, but Sniper AND Firefox? You’d have to be actively trying to throw to pick such garbage-tier roles. Even sworn enemies wouldn’t sabotage a game this btantly.
The moment they spawned in, Whysis team immediately spammed emotes:
‘StrawberryLatte expresses JOY at DespairMe.’
On the battle server, the only way to communicate with the opposing team was through emotes. Naturally, whispering wasn’t allowed either.
Not that it was completely impossible. You could exit the battle server and log into the shared zone channel to chat or send whispers. But in this modern world where even close family members struggle to communicate, almost no one went through such hassle just to talk.
‘StrawberryLatte expresses JOY at DespairMe.’
Personally, Hajin loved Battle Hero’s chat restrictions. Why would anyone need to talk to the enemy mid-game? Blocking pointless banter and toxic trash talk was objectively better.
‘DespairMe lies down.’
Unlike other games, these emotes didn’t trigger character animations. Only text notifications appeared. Hajin’s DespairMe remained wide-eyed, gripping his axe, a carefully crafted aggro-magnet appearance.
The silver-haired DespairMe fluttered his white wings as white as his hair. It was the “Archangel Wings”, an accessory bought with real life money. He should’ve known, any game selling wings cosmetics was doomed.
Thanks to Hajin’s tear-inducing aggro-bait customization, DespairMe always got focused. But what could he do? Tanks existed to eat damage for fragile DPS, after all.
‘StrawberryLatte expresses JOY at DespairMe.’‘StrawberryLatte expresses JOY at DespairMe.’‘StrawberryLatte expresses JOY at DespairMe.’
The enemy team kept spamming emotes, relentlessly taunting Hajin.
“This Whisys scum. Only acting tough because you’ve got double tanks. Pathetic.”
Hajin chewed his lip in frustration, setting down his empty soda can before pinging the Crystal Tower.
[TEAM] DespairMe (PALADIN): Watch for Berserker fnk
[TEAM] DespairMe (PALADIN): I’ll pull aggro at their backline
DespairMe moved, knowing he’d probably die, but if luck was on their side, he might stall the enemy long enough to stop their Crystal Tower destruction buff.
Truthfully, their team comp was such garbage it couldn’t even be properly recycled. Throwing himself into the fray was the only way to bance the tower’s destruction timer.
Was this how Nongae felt, he wondered, luring the enemy general to drown in the Nam River? DespairMe activated [Shattering Charge], the Padin’s super-armor skill.
His charge into the heart of the enemy lines near the Crystal Tower was glorious. The wings—agro magnets, truly the most tank-like accessory—fred dramatically.
The moment his 2-second super-armor ended, the enemy’s focus fire turned brutal. Their ranged DPS, a Dark Mage and Summoner, could melt even tanks. Hajin dodged and canceled some skills, stretching his survival, but an undergeared Padin couldn’t hold forever.
At least his team had secured the tower. Hajin kept moving, weaving his character through basic attacks, but his HP was paper-thin now. One solid hit would end him.
Just as he braced for respawn—
<1 KILL!>
“Huh?”
<2 KILL!><3 KILL!><4 KILL!>
“A rampage HERE?!”
Dazed, Hajin reacted on instinct. His mouse jerked, there, the enemy Gunbde, mid-swing, realizing too te and trying to flee. DespairMe’s [Strike Down] stunned it for 1 second. The Gunbde scrambled to counter, but—
[Topspin!]
CuteMe materialized behind the Gunbde. A flick of combos, and its HP evaporated. CuteMe was only +11 enhance. How much attack investment was this? Hajin, mesmerized, tabbed open CuteMe’s gear window:
[Weapon2 Head2 Gloves2 Chest0 Belt0 Pants0 Boots1 Earring0 Neckce1 Bracelet1 Ring1 Ring1]
A full gss-cannon build, zero defense investment. Ranged DPS sometimes did this for range safety, but melee DPS? Only pyers with god-tier control dared this in the enemy backline.
<5 KILL!>
Not buying a single piece of armor meant instant death the moment an enemy skill so much as grazed you.
Which meant that CuteMe had just pulled off a pentakill while dodging every single one of the enemy team’s attacks.
[TEAM] CoffeeSve (SNIPER): Pentakill? WTF
A Penta Kill wasn’t something you saw every day. Especially since this hadn’t even been a 5v5 fight. Three of their allies had been busy breaking the Crystal Tower, leaving it a 2v5!
This kind of py required fwless execution: no wasted combos, weaving in basic attacks, and expertly dodging enemy assaults.
And it didn’t stop there. Thanks to the enemy team’s wipeout, they’d also barely managed to secure the nearly destroyed Crystal Tower. CuteMe, whose petite frame was dwarfed even by DespairMe’s max-height avatar, swung her short ash-gray hair as she unloaded her gun at the tower.
In an instant, Hajin had secured both the shared penta kill coins and the twin buffs from the towers. As he returned to base to recover his dwindling HP, he could only blink. One thought dominated his mind:
‘Holy shit. This melee DPS is the real deal.’
After weeks of suffering through incompetent ally melee DPS, CuteMe felt like a gift from the gods.
‘I’m making this one my personal damage sve!’
His gamer instincts, honed by years of py, screamed at him to leash this lottery-winning bastard alive. If he did, his ranked matches would be set.
Hiding his scheming heart, Hajin decided to butter CuteMe up first.
[TEAM] DespairMe (Padin): Gunner, sir.
[TEAM] DespairMe (Padin): Take these :)
Hajin handed over every st neutral mob near base, the ones meant to boost ally coin income, to CuteMe, then swiftly swept the enemy’s vision.
The moment a squishy enemy DPS showed themselves, he pinged aggressively and dove in, setting up kill after kill for CuteMe.
Maybe it was because he’d spent so long dealing with DPS pyers who’d spit out any lead he fed them, but watching CuteMe clean up every opening he created warmed his heart. It was almost paternal pride.
‘VICTORY!’‘YOU HAVE WON!’<+95 Fame Points earned!>
The game ended shockingly smoothly, all thanks to CuteMe’s carry.
They’d already been solid on Ninja, a css notorious for being the worst in the meta, but the moment they got their hands on Gunner, a role infamous for being broken, they went wild, like a fish returned to water. By the end, they were diving the enemy backline solo and strolling out unscathed. A true mental destroyer. Their py style made it clear they weren’t the nicest person, but to Hajin, every bit of their damage felt like a love letter.
In games, damage output defined a DPS’s worth: their philosophy, their caliber. By that measure, CuteMe was utterly fwless. A fully realized pyer. Nothing more needed to be seen.
Hajin couldn’t hide his pounding heart. He turned off auto-matchmaking—a force of habit—and sent CuteMe a whisper. As he typed the nickname, he caught himself admiring it. CuteMe. What an adorably perfect name.
[WHISPER] DespairMe: Hey
[WHISPER] DespairMe: Your pystyle really clicks with mine
[WHISPER] DespairMe: Wanna party up?
[WHISPER] DespairMe: I’ll tank for you anytime
Even as he sent it, Hajin was certain CuteMe felt the same.
Because, let’s be real—
“Where in Silver would you find a tank as good as me?”
He set up kills, swept vision, dealt damage as a tank, and had sharp macro. Plus, in the trenches of the low-end tier, finding a sane pyer willing to tank was rare. Cursed comps like triple-ranged or four-DPS teams popped up constantly. But a guaranteed tank? No DPS would refuse that.
Especially for a melee DPS, where vision and engage angles were everything. A skilled tank was irrepceable.
Hajin smirked, repying the thought, just as CuteMe’s reply appeared.
[WHISPER] CuteMe: Earlier you told me to use my brains and not my spinal reflexes.
The sheer audacity of holding a grudge. Hajin’s face scrunched, but his typing stayed sweet.
[WHISPER] DespairMe: Oh, my bad about that lol :)
CuteMe’s nonsense was just getting started.
[WHISPER] CuteMe: Also…
[WHISPER] CuteMe: You’re a guy, right?
“What kind of question is this?”
[WHISPER] DespairMe: Huh? No offense but
[WHISPER] DespairMe: Why does that matter?
[WHISPER] CuteMe: :)
[WHISPER] CuteMe: I don’t duo with guys >_<
“What the fuck is that emoticon?”
Baffled, Hajin typed slowly.
[WHISPER] DespairMe: Wait… are you a girl who only duos with other girls?
The truth was, many female gamers simply disliked getting involved with male gamers. If that were the reason, Hajin could reluctantly accept it, even if disappointed.
[WHISPER] CuteMe: Nah, I’m actually a guy.
“Is this guy insane?”
Hajin had suspected something was off ever since CuteMe started trolling the enemy team the moment things went well. A little skill, and suddenly he acts like a jerk. CuteMe? What kind of name was that? Disgusting. Hajin’s brow furrowed.
These kinds of pyers weren’t uncommon; the ones who couldn’t take the game seriously and just wanted to flirt with girls. Nothing good ever came from dealing with them.
“Personality can’t keep up with skill, huh? Only parties with girls? Is this a dating app? A threesome next? You py games this carelessly? Carrying trash like this won’t…”
Irritated, Hajin pulled up CuteMe’s match history.
CuteMe (Gunner/Lv. 30)Pytime: 19m 21s24 Kills / 1 Death / 36 AssistsKDA: 60
“…”
CuteMe (Ninja/Lv. 29)Pytime: 18m 13s18 Kills / 0 Deaths / 16 AssistsKDA: 34
“st long…”
Ah. The stats were glorious.
Hajin’s fingers moved on their own, possessed.
[WHISPER] DespairMe: C’mon. I’ll set up every engage for you.
[WHISPER] DespairMe: Admit it, st game was good, right?
[WHISPER] DespairMe: Just sit back and farm. OK?
[WHISPER] DespairMe: Party up.
Now, Hajin was even tempted. Was this deception, or was it justice?
[WHISPER] CuteMe: I don’t py with guys—
Besides, after two straight games with CuteMe, the thought of getting matched with some 2/9 melee DPS made him want to drop dead on the spot.
‘Hajin, you’re usually calm, but sometimes you slip up, huh? If you just fixed that habit of rushing in, your win rate would go even higher.’
The advice from Jiyoon, back when they used to py Battle Hero together, flickered in his mind, then vanished just as quickly.
Drunk on those absurd damage numbers, Hajin’s fingers went rogue.
[WHISPER] DespairMe: shutupandtakemypartyoppa
[WHISPER] DespairMe: stopbeingdifficultandacceptthefriendreqtoo^^
[WHISPER] CuteMe: lolololololol?
‘CuteMe giggles shyly.’
“Giggling?”
Hajin let out a dry ugh.
Laugh all you want. Enjoy it while it sts. I’ll suck you dry of every ounce of damage you’ve got, then ditch you the second I match with decent human beings.
His lips twisted into a smirk.