Have you even wonder, what makes a person commit suicide?

  For me, it was a simple reason like giving up on hope, or as a means to escape.

  But, after thinking it through...I realized the reason was much more general.

  It is because the environment we are in caused us to be suicidal. My childhood served as an undeniable evidence for my conclusion.

  When I was just 5 years old and bragged to my mother about completing the tower of hanoi puzzle game...

  "What? Your cousin, Bobby, was able to create a fun card game and sell the ownership rights for 150,000 at just the age of 3!"

  When I was 7 years old and got 90% in my Math exam, instead of being showered in praise, I was criticized by her.

  "Bobby can get 100% in his biology exam at your age! And you can't even get 100% in just Math?!"

  "Biology?"

  "You don't even know the word biology? Pathetic."

  "I don't have that exam"

  "Of course you don't! He skipped grades faster than you can finish yawning! You cant even skip a single grade and still in elementary."

  At that time, I was still young and ignorance about the world, so I thought that I was doing something wrong back then. But as I grew older, I became more aware and realized that my mother was just being unreasonable.

  A typical Asian mother parenting culture. They compin about everything you do.

  Sleeping too much even though I only slept at the appropriate hours of 8 hours.

  Compin about the huge amount of food I eat, even though children are supposed to have a lot of protein and nutrient to grow.

  And not skipping grade? My education system differ with Bobby. I cant skip grade while he can, its just not logically possible.

  Speaking of logic, my life had never been logical at all. It had never made logical sense.

  When I was waiting for the traffic light to turn red to cross the road, the car for some reason stopped despite being green and told me to cross. When I stood there confused, he lowered the car window and yell at me to not waste his time while cursing me at the meantime.

  Another time, when others touch mimosa leaves, it just folds itself. As for me, before I could touch it, the leaves fell from the stem and blew away by the wind. It felt like the mimosa leaves cut itself off the stem and used the wind to escape from me.

  I mean...seriously? How does it make any sense?

  And in school, the girls bullied me. It was because the school was previous an all girls school, but recently changed to mixed school. They didn't like the fact that a male like me entered their sacred pce, so they bullied the hell out of me.

  Just how was it my fault? If you got issue with it, talk it out with the school principle.

  To make things worse, girls bullying in general is actually much worse than boys bullying, so my life in school was pretty horrid.

  I was done. I was tired of her grumbling. Tired of the girls in school. Tired of all the unreasonable misfortune I was experiencing throughout my life.

  I wondered why people wants to die, and now I understood.

  It was the environment. The environment made us want to escape from it.

  To me, death looked like peace— it resembled a person finally achieving quality sleep, never again to be interrupted by noises or nonsensical thoughts.

  That was why...

  I did the one act that is consider universally unthinkable.

  I thought back to all the misery I had to endure, and also thought about how all would finally come to an end.

  As I easily took the first step off the ledge, the step considered as the toughest and hardest step by many, the step that caused many dreams to stay unfulfilled...

  I realized...I was not one of them. I felt lighter than ever. No fear. No regret.

  My dream...will finally be fulfilled.

  As I was falling, the noises which I thought I would escape from, grew louder and louder.

  As I turned my head, I saw it.

  My mother, who was sitting in the passenger seat, with an unknown man driving a rge family car, was heading my way.

  With a loud crash, my body flew spectacurly as the blood danced around me.

  Only after my body crashed on the ground like a ragdoll, just as my vision darkened and dyed in red, could I heard a certain voice of disappointment.

  Not from my ears, but from deep within.

  "You cant even die properly."

  AnnouncementFun Fact: Did you know? You might have clicked on the wrong book! Please scroll up and check the title. Don't make such a silly mistake again, welcome!