SETH JUST GRINS, showing his toothless mouth under the barrage of insults. Akrom barely stops himself from slicing off his ears and shoving them down his throat.
"You son of a bitch! You nearly got me killed! Can’t you keep your damn mouth shut? You sicced Julia and Jasper on my ass!"
Seth lets out another dumb chuckle. Playing the absolute idiot has saved his hide more times than he can count. It throws people off, makes them second-guess. Plus, he knows Akrom can’t kill him—they’ve been running together too long. He pats himself on the back for his little scheme: Jasper pays like a king when you feed him the right intel.
That brute Akrom had practically laid himself bare in front of him, like an altar boy in confession: "Tell me, Seth, you remember how to get post-quantum encryption services? It’s for a friend. Blah blah blah." For a friend, my ass! Three hundred bucks a minute for a service like that? Wasn’t hard to do the math—he’s sitting on something big, and I’ve got info to sell. Case closed.
"I have no idea what you’re talking about, Akrom. Killed by who? I didn’t know City Maintenance took out grave robbers. You sure about that? Me, I’ve never, ever snitched to Julia or Jasper. Matter of fact, I haven’t seen them in ages. We don’t talk at all anymore!"
"Idiot! Moron! We were all at the Crazy Horse Pub together just last week!"
"Really? Huh. I don’t remember. Guess that shows how much they mean to me."
"And Jasper sent you the shelter coordinates right before the dome exploded!"
"Shelter? Explosion? Dome? You sure you haven’t been popping RetroXanax200, old buddy? I don’t touch that garbage anymore. Makes me see dragons in my damn closet!"
"You little—! You know what? I’m gonna kill you. I swear on my mother, I’m gonna smash that rat face of yours!"
"Vehicle approaching. Vehicle approaching. Please clear the landing area. Please clear the landing area."
The two men jump back just before a hulking yellow-and-black school bus touches down exactly where they’d been standing.
An hour earlier, Akrom had swooped down on Seth like an eagle while he was eyeing some college girls chatting in a schoolyard. A neighbor had tipped him off—the dumbass was recruiting teenage girls for some rich pedophile, a guy who owned three pizza joints. One quick hack into the perv’s communications, and Akrom had his target.
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Hologram of Jasper.
"Don’t kill him, man. He’s still got his uses."
"Jasper? The hell do I care? Fuck off!"
He swipes at the hologram, but it immediately flickers back.
"You want to make some cash or not? Seth can help us track down the whore who stole my scooter."
"Couldn’t give two shits about your scooter. Hope she trashed it. Serves you right!"
"That girl’s worth a fortune. You know the Dark Swords are after her? I think they’ll do anything to get their hands on her. And I mean anything. Blowing taxpayer money included."
"And what makes you think Seth the sewer rat can lead us to her?"
"Just keep him on a leash and bring him to me. I don’t care how. I’m at Julia’s—I got some bottles and ordered food like a king. We’re gonna feast on dumplings, Peking pork, spring rolls, the whole damn spread!"
Half an hour later, they burst into Julia’s place—only to find her lounging in a bubble bath, smoking a joint, painting her nails. No Peking pork, no dumplings. Just a half-empty bag of dusty potato chips on the table. No sign of Jasper.
"He’s gotta be kidding," Akrom growls.
New Jasper hologram.
"Change of plans, comrades! God blessed me with a stroke of genius, so I took a little detour to Utopia!"
"What?"
"Seth, you helped me steal that scooter. Now you’re gonna help me get it back!"
"I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jasper. I’ve never stolen a scooter. Never stolen anything in my life…"
"Oh yeah? Well, I’ve got two of your buddies right here. Say hello, boys!"
Two grinning, mean-looking faces appear beside Jasper.
"I don’t know these people, and I have nothing to do with them. You’ve got the wrong guy."
"When John and Krishna here disabled the anti-theft and ‘cleaned’ the ride for us, you paid them a hundred bucks to slip in a tracker, real discreet-like."
"Why would I do that? I don’t even know what a tracker is! And I don’t trust scooters. Public transport all the way, baby."
Jasper laughs.
"Your plan was to sell the scooter’s location to other thieves one day, knowing it didn’t have an anti-theft anymore. That it?"
"Answer me, rat-face, or I’ll rip your damn ears off!"
Akrom shoves Seth, who suddenly doubles over in a violent coughing fit—his signature I’m-dying-of-tuberculosis move whenever he feels in danger. Julia, still sprawled in her tub in the middle of the room, howls with laughter like a hyena.
"Come on, spill it, sweetie!" John chimes in. "Hand over the receiver so we can track the toy!"
Krishna adds, "Jasper promises not to kill you. Might even cut you in for a percentage. Right, Jasper?"
Seth stops coughing and thinks fast for two seconds.
"Thirty percent of everything you make off catching the thief. Or you can all go get your orifices greased."
Akrom pulls a gun from his pocket and presses the barrel to Seth’s ear.
"I’ll splatter fifty percent of your brain across Julia’s floor if you say one more dumbass thing. Who the fuck do you think you are?"
"Do it! Light him up! Fry him!" Julia shrieks, standing up and dancing naked in her bathtub, sending water sloshing everywhere.
The hologram zooms in on Jasper’s face. He looms larger, bending toward Seth, all pretense of patience gone.
"We don’t have much time, kitten. Fun’s over. If the scooter’s already in the scrap heap, the tracker might be wrecked. If I lose this lead, I personally guarantee the rats will be feasting on your skinny carcass in a Brooklyn dumpster. Got it?"