I threw the now useless flashlight away, jostling the crossbow and quiver on my back. Selena had finally stopped sobbing, whimpering softly as she rubbed her eyes of their last tears. The Colonel stood behind us, not breathing a word.

  I couldn’t take it anymore. “Why are you still here?”

  “It is good for a man of my position to be seen motivating his subordinates,” he said with a shrug.

  “I think a man of your position wouldn’t have to threaten teenage girls,” I shot back.

  “True. I am glad that I only have to punish them for their misbehavior then, or else what would the high rankers think of me?” he said almost smugly, just as Major Shange called our names.

  “And to start us off is the general's daughter herself! She will face Selena, the only healer of the current year's high rankers, but don’t worry! I’ve seen the girl, she looks dangerous. So place your bets, and let's get started!”

  Selena walked out with only the essentials, nothing even remotely close to the weaponry I had on. I felt almost embarrassed as I walked out the door, feeling like a lion about to be fed a lamb. But I soldiered on. As father would have.

  I looked toward the high-rankers' booth to see Slava, front and center as pride welled on his face. I could see he wanted to wave, but he knew I would never forgive him. A moment later, Mother was standing by his side.

  The crystals' light that would have proven so useful pressed down on us, almost mocking in how useless they were now. The crowd was chanting my name, “Sofia! Sofia! Sofia!”, and yet…

  I had imagined this moment a thousand times in the last few days alone. Me, walking out to the cheers and applause as I stood across from my opponent, as they prepared to get ready to face me. They would fight hard, they would fight valiantly. They would prove themselves as good, valuable subordinates.

  And none of it would matter, with a simple change in the geography and a well-placed shot, they would surrender with gritted teeth and I would bow to Mother, forever tying my debut to my family's legacy. All the blessed on Kaleidos… all the people on Kaleidos would see that I am their future leader, and they would speak my name with pride, excited for when I finally took the mantle of general.

  But when I stood across from Selena now, I felt none of that. The roar of the crowd, the excited faces of the lower ranks all around me, the moment I have been dreaming of for what felt like my entire life… and I could find no pride. The only feeling I had was dread.

  Because there were no clever tactics to be found here, only standard ones. No way I could show my bravery, intelligence, or character. Instead of triumph, all the people would feel is pity for my opponent. No one likes to watch an underdog lose.

  I grit my teeth, closing my eyes as I thought it through. I needed to end this quickly, and hope that in the final match against Calder, I can show what I am really made of.

  My jaw locked, my palms sweating I discovered a newfound hatred for the Colonel. Especially after his meddling. I wanted to talk to her, to Selena. Ask her if she was okay. But I don’t think our relationship will ever be the same… or continue as it had. He had ruined that. I would need to remind him that he, too, had someone he wanted to seduce. Let us see how Lieutenant—

  My thoughts were interrupted as the bubble closed, cutting off the chanting, the excited stamping, the hum of the crowd… giving way to nothing but silence.

  It was almost funny. The crowds chanting which I had always longed for had made me panic, made me feel small. But now that it was gone I craved to have it back. This silence felt like death. I drew my pistol out of its holster as I opened my eyes.

  I ran to my left as I drew my pistol, Selena just stumbling to the right like a lost animal who was doing everything it could to survive. Her terrified eyes made me almost hesitate… before I resolved myself. All I needed to do was hit her with one bullet and then make her surrender. Hopefully, she could forgive me after.

  The platform was quite short, which meant she was close enough that I could aim for her legs rather than her center mass. I only fired to keep her moving, the bullets kicking up dust as she scrambled to the bubble’s wall.

  I thought about taking out my map to seal off her escape route, but I decided against it. My ability had been read out loud by Major Shange however I had purposefully secluded my ability training. It’s one thing to hear about an ability but something else entirely when you see it in action. Besides, I was winning with ease. Why slow things down, give her a chance to adjust to get my map out, and draw all the necessary new geographical features when I could end this with a bullet?

  She finally remembered she had a gun and fired it toward me, her shots way off the mark. A twang of annoyance went through me as I strode forward, my shots calculated but always a centimeter away from her. I was missing. And she wouldn’t stay still. I know the Colonel was making her do this, but she didn’t could assist me in ending this sooner, rather than later.

  I stopped running towards the wall and strode straight towards her, doing a mag check before I refocused on keeping her off balance. I thought about unslinging the crossbow from my back but banished the thought as soon as it entered my head. It would only be excessive at best, and outright useless at worst.

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  She kept running along the wall for some reason, keeping her distance from me while firing blindly, some of the bullets even landing in my general direction before she did a ninety-degree turn all of a sudden and sprinted straight at me, her expression filled with desperation.

  I had to duck out of the way as her wild shots started landing far closer than they did earlier. I felt my pistol click empty, my last bullet landing right between her legs when she was less than twenty meters away. I wanted to yell at her as I drew my second pistol, slowing my pace to improve my aim.

  I fired into the air as she tackled me, my breath leaving my body as I landed on my back. But instinct took over and I wrapped her up in my guard even as the weapon was trapped between my chest and hers.

  “I’m sorry! He said I have to make it look good or else my parents can never set foot in the tower again! I won’t be able to see them for two years if he does that! Please forgive me!” She shouted into my ear as she tried to pass my guard. I heard her weapon click empty and saw my opportunity.

  I put my foot on her hip to push her backward, creating enough space for me to put the pistol in her face.

  “Surrender!” I shouted.

  Instead of surrendering, she grabbed my wrist with one hand and my elbow with another pushing my arm down beside my head. She could have broken my arm, but instead just started banging it against the floor, screaming out in frustration as tears hit my face.

  I abandoned the pistol, shooting my hips up and throwing her off me. She didn’t let go of my arm, so we rolled, scrambling the entire time as she held onto me with a death grip. I was able to take her back in the ensuing scramble and used the very arm she held onto to lock up a rear naked choke.

  “It’s okay,” I whispered as I rolled us over, straightening her body out as I sank the choke in deeper, “I forgive you. Just go unconscious, it’ll look better for us.”

  I could feel her tears on my arm even as she scratched at it. I could hear her trying to speak, probably to say thank you for giving her such an honorable loss.

  I felt her stop trying to wrench my arm away, her hand now reaching down towards her waist. I panicked, thinking she may have another weapon, and let go, rolling away as I reached down to my waist instead, only to pat an empty holster.

  I was weaponless, and she seemed to realize this at the same time I did. She scrambled for the pistol I had dropped. I wouldn’t make it in time, she was closer, so I unslung the crossbow which was miraculously still on my back, and aimed it at her… to see this was unloaded as well.

  She grabbed the pistol, turning around to see me with an empty crossbow. She looked bewildered. Like she could not believe this was happening any more than I could as she brought the pistol up, and fired.

  I dove out of the way, throwing my crossbow as hard as I could. It smacked her in the face, making her land back onto her butt. She looked offended as she held her bleeding nose with one hand.

  I was up before you could blink, racing towards her before she could recover. She didn’t raise the pistol, or even hold up a hand to defend herself. Just kept that look on her face… and when I was two steps away, she tapped her left shoulder.

  It felt like the sun had appeared before me, the light so bright it made my eyes hurt. I pushed through, diving to where I thought she would be. I only face-planted instead.

  I immediately pushed myself up, blinking the stars out of my face. When my vision cleared, I looked up into the barrel of a gun.

  “Surrender,” Selena whispered, the blood pouring over her lips as she looked down at me with pity.

  I raised my hands, nice and slow as I got to to my feet. My breath had stalled, my fingers trembling. This wasn’t meant to happen. I wasn’t meant to lose.

  At this moment, despite her beauty, and kindness, and smile, I hated her. More than the rebels. More than the civvie. I had never hated anyone as much as I hated her right here, right now.

  I grabbed the pistol, shoving it to the side as a bullet whizzed past my ear. She lit up again as she stumbled back, but I didn’t need to see. She was right here. I grabbed a hold of her shirt, headbutting her in her broken nose before I swept her legs out from under her.

  I sat on the lower part of her back, wrenching the pistol from her grip, and then shoved the pistol against the back of her skull.

  “No, Selena. I do not surrender. And I will never forget this humiliation, either.” I pushed the barrel against her head, harder than I had earlier.

  “Surrender! Now!” I growled, my voice echoing against the bubble’s walls, floating back to my ears as if to mock me.

  Only a healer and you almost lost. Pathetic. A little voice whispered in my ear. And I hated the girl at my mercy even more, because that voice sounded like Mother’s. That’s what she thinks now. That’s what every person on Kaleidos thinks now. Their great and fearless future leader, can’t even beat a healer.

  “I surrender,” Selena said, her voice filled with misery and pain. I got off her, but she just lay there, weeping on the floor.

  But she didn’t matter. When I looked at the crowd, their chanting seemed to have stopped long ago. Many were silent, watching the match. I couldn’t hear them through the bubble walls, but I knew they were laughing.

  I just waited for the bubble to open, watching the girl I was courting weep onto the floor. But every tear felt like an insult. I had cared about her. I had shown her my plans.

  And this is how she repays my affection? By making me look weak? Her weeping turned to sobs as she started apologizing, to her parents, to me. Over and over, she just kept apologizing.

  Pity panged in my chest, and I reached for her, to console her, to tell her it was okay. But I stopped. I offered no word of comfort. She had humiliated me. I turned away.

  I blinked, and then I was standing across from her again, all my gear on me. I looked at the crowd. Some whispered to their neighbors, others were clinking glasses and enjoying a casual conversation. Many of them were only clapping politely.

  Every dream of my debut crumbled before me. Their clapping was a mockery. The men laughing was how the crowd really felt. They thought I was a failure.

  When I looked back at the high-rankers' booth, all I saw was Slava, giving me a double thumbs-up. But Mother was nowhere to be found. She hadn’t even stayed to watch the end of my match.

  “And of course, we have our victor!” Major Shange roared into the microphone, but there was no cheer in her voice, none of her usual excitement in her body. She looked… bored.

  So the Major was mocking me secretly, like all the rest. All because of her. Because of some threat I could have changed in a heartbeat. I walked toward her, meeting her in the middle of the platform. Tears streamed down her face, her eyes puffy. But no sob escaped her lips, her face no longer contorted with pain. She looked resigned like it was just too much to bear.

  Selena. My most valued subordinate, my only healer. My only friend.

  And she had made me look like a failure.