"Why did I never explore these grounds very much?" I asked Leafhead.

  "I don't know, I guess you were too busy exploring Mars?"

  "Yeah, that's probably right," I realized. "You know I've been thinking about writing a novel based on my experience on Mars. It will all be posing as fiction, of course."

  "Hm," said Leafhead.

  "What do you think of that idea?" I asked.

  "I like it."

  I couldn't tell how Leafhead really felt about the idea. He was distracted with the completion of the tree-fort.

  "Almost there," said Leafhead. "All this needs is a layer of invisibility-spray."

  "Invisibility spray?" I asked.

  Leafhead had what looked like a can of silver spray-paint. He proceeded to begin covering the interior of the tree-fort with the noxious paint.

  "Hey, what are you doing?!" I said. "That stuff is making me dizzy."

  "Be cool," said Leafhead. "It only lasts for a few seconds."

  Miraculously, the paint began to vanish. Then whatever was beneath the paint also vanished. The entire tree-fort was virtually invisible. I looked down at my feet. They appeared to hover over thin air. Had anyone passed by and noticed us they would have thought we were flying.

  A flock of crows noticed us. They were thoroughly disturbed by our ability to fly and decided to go find another forest to inhabit. We didn't notice the birds at all and had no idea that word had already been passed among thousands of other birds to avoid that area of forest where humans are freakishly capable of flight.

  "Don't forget where the ladder is," said Leafhead. "Otherwise you'll take a dive."

  Leafhead had built the fort very high up. I began to feel paranoid about falling.

  "Just use these glasses," he said handing me a pair of horn-rimmed glasses with one lens cracked. "They allow the wearer to see a surface that has been covered with invisibility-spray."

  "One of lens is cracked," I pointed out.

  "They still work," said Leafhead. "Use them or not, I don't care. I don't think the owls care either."

  The owls did care. They were among the birds who had been warned and promptly evacuated.

  Suddenly I needed to get out of there.

  "I'm just going to explore around a bit," I said. "See if I can find something interesting or edible."

  "Ok, good luck," said Leafhead. "Take one of the laser-guns with you."

  "Why would I need one of those?"

  "These woods are part of my property," said Leafhead. "Do you really think this is an ordinary stretch of forest? I have no idea what lab experiments have escaped and taken up refuge here. There are probably creatures living all over the place. A whole underground storage of experimental liquid chemicals once imploded in the backyard. The nearby soil and plant life has likely soaked this up and become unpredictably alien-esque."

  Somehow this didn't detract me. I'd been around Leafhead long enough to know what I was signing up for.

  "I'll be fine," I said.

  "I know," replied Leafhead. "You've proven to be a good intern and I suspect will make an acceptable scientist one day."

  "Thanks."

  "Don't let it go to your head," he added. "I still assume you're easily capable of getting yourself poisoned/maimed/killed at any time. Just trying to practice the whole optimism thing."

  "Good to hear," I said as I climbed down the ladder.

  Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  As I walked around some crude paths I realized the area around Leafhead's house was a special place. Time slipped away. All went quiet. Beams of light perpetually shone through the branches. Seriously... the beams of light never moved or faded.

  I lost track of time and wandered farther from the fort than was wise. The path forked and twisted behind me. Would I even find my way back? I decided to to not worry about it and sat down on a fallen tree. The moss covered tree was comfortable after weeks of sitting around on nothing but ice blocks.

  There was a rustling sound from the nearby shrubs. It was either a harmless squirrel or one of Leafhead's dangerous escaped experiments. Suddenly there was a sharpened spear pressed against my throat, letting me know it was the latter.

  "Don't move," said the person holding said spear.

  I didn't move. But I could see the arm of the assailant and it did not appear to be human. There was a scaly, spiky green lizard-like arm. Were there aliens involved with Leafhead?

  What exactly is going on?

  "Who are you?" I asked.

  "I said don't move!"

  "I didn't move, I spoke."

  "Speaking is moving!" said the lizard creature. "Shut up!"

  I ended the discussion.

  "Stand up!" it barked. "Turn around."

  There were three of them. Humanoid lizard-folk dressed in primitive clothing. Their hair looked exactly like a potted fern. Deadly eyes framed their faces. Sharp teeth glinted from behind smirks.

  "What are you doing around here?" asked who appeared to be the leader of the group. "We are not used to intruders."

  "I'm just exploring," I replied.

  "What for?"

  "My friend owns this property. Dr. Leafhead, he's a scientist--"

  "We are familiar with Dr. Leafhead," interrupted the leader. "We come from the house."

  "What?"

  "You call yourself friend to Leafhead?" he asked.

  "Yes."

  "Sit down," he said. "We'll tell you a story."

  I sat on the comfortable moss.

  "Some years ago Leafhead acquired a textbook regarding how to morph potted ferns into chaotically violent reptiles," began the lizard.

  "I know that book," I said. "I've seen it around."

  "Anyway, of course Leafhead studied the contents of the book and succeeded in turning some potted fern into lizards. Chameleons, iguanas, geckos. All sorts of things. He had a real knack for it."

  "So Leafhead created you?" I asked.

  "Yes. But at first we were ordinary reptiles... albeit occasionally chaotically violent. Normal size, no speech. House pets, you know."

  "Yes, I know," I said. "I once nearly died when one of you bit me."

  He ignored the comment.

  "Leafhead was too adept at the morphing process. Our bloodstream was imbued with something that allowed us to gradually evolve beyond the intended parameters of the textbook. Once we began changing we fled the house via storm drains and took up residency here in the forest. It wasn't very long before we starting walking upright, growing into human size and developing tools, speech and culture. As far as we know, Leafhead believes we were stolen by an untrustworthy intern. He has no idea how far we have evolved or that we've been living on his property rent-free."

  I found it hard to believe there was a thriving society of lizard-folk living on Leafhead's property without his knowledge. However they looked like they would be good at hiding. There had to be some things going on that even Leafhead wasn't aware of. After all, he didn't even know about the portal or the emergency systems that Melvin had integrated into the house. Melvin was just an intern. These were lizard-folk with advanced evolutionary traits. I suddenly remembered how Leafhead had mentioned escaped experiments and even said I'm certain there are strange creatures living around here. So he did have at least part of the picture.

  "That's interesting," I said. "You guys are a lot like the Ninja Turtles, hey?"

  Silence met this reference.

  "So what do you plan to do with me?"

  "You can go," said the leader. "But you must stay out this part of the forest. When you return to the house, tell Leafhead--"

  "I won't be returning to the house," I stated.

  "Why?"

  "You don't know? The house has been taken over by villainous agents intent on stealing Leafhead's secrets. We fled the house with only our lives and have been in hiding in Antarctica for weeks. Now we are living in a tree-fort about a 30 minute walk from here."

  "We don't bother ourselves with the goings on of the house. Leafhead keeps to himself and we keep to ourselves. We are entirely self-sufficient here."

  "Hm," I said.

  "We have always wanted to keep ourselves hidden from Leafhead's knowledge. However that has recently changed. The desire to solve some of the mysteries of our evolution has grown too strong for some of the lizard-folk. They see contact with Leafhead as the only way of making progress towards understanding ourselves."

  "I see."

  "The fact that you stumbled your way into our camp is a sign that contact with Leafhead is inevitable."

  "I agree," I said. "Why don't I go get him?"

  "We will make a visit to your camp and discuss what to do about these intruders."

  "You'd be willing to help with the intruders?" I asked, dumbfounded. "I thought you didn't really care about what went on in the house?"

  "We don't care what goes on in the house when Leafhead is at the helm. We know he keeps his fantastic inventions to himself and is against making weapons from his technology."

  "Er, yes," I agreed while thinking of high-powered laser-guns he'd recently invented. They were mostly right, however. Leafhead would never take his technology to where Scar-face and his crew would.

  "But these people you described, nothing good will come of their presence."

  "Too true," I said.

  "Return to your camp and inform Leafhead we visit at midnight tonight," instructed the lizard.

  They vanished through the dense shrubs before I got another word. I stumbled around looking for the path back to the tree-fort. Loud booms and flashing lights emanated from the front lawn of the house near where the Universe Interpreter was located. I wondered what Scar-face was up to over there. Leafhead wondered the same thing as he watched through a crude pair of binoculars he made from bark, vines and old discarded monocle lenses.

  Everything was moving too fast and made little sense.