In life, every person has a fate forged by the path they walk. Great things come for great people, misery comes to those who wallow, villainy is punished with karma and heroic feats win over the love of your life.

  At least those were the sorts of stories Lissa imagined people liked. Judging from their reactions when she made up some bombastic tale, they were always impressed by a well-told escapist fantasy – a reaction she agreed with since she too enjoyed them. It was human nature to seek out distractions from life’s difficulties, whether caused by one’s own actions or not.

  When the bartender served the next round, she knocked back her own glass without hesitation. Alcohol had never been a flavour she liked, but finding those exceptions made it interesting. Well that was one angle, but her friends would probably complain if she went tee-total anyway.

  At the moment, she was sat around a corner table trying not to complain as the bar grew busier and busier. It was a party, a birthday, so suggesting they find somewhere else to eat and drink would be more confrontation than she felt comfortable with. At least the cider was good.

  “Does anyone think it’s getting too rowdy here?”

  “I wasn’t going to say anything but yeah… Where should we go next?”

  “Hey Catherine! Can we head to your place instead?”

  Sensing an opportunity, Lissa added her voice to the din. “It’s getting late so how about we finish the round and split up to arrange taxis. They shouldn’t be too expensive if we book with enough people, and we can always walk to the station instead of booking online.” She could see Catherine several seats over leaning back satisfied she didn’t have to organise everything herself. They weren’t the closest of friends but that didn’t matter – as far as Lissa was concerned, it was always good to be needed.

  In the end, about half of their party took a taxi back home and they sat by the drop-off point to see them off. As Lissa relaxed into the chair, she heard a voice.

  “By the way, I keep checking but… You haven’t updated that thriller in a while, right?” As it interrupted her, she turned around and narrowly avoided headbutting its owner. “Sorry, I’m trying to remember what you mean… Ah right. It’s in redrafting hell but I’m glad you like it.”

  Carl hid his disappointment and shrugged, nodding with presumably telepathic understanding of her non-explanation. “I don’t write anything but I’m sure it’s hard work. Still… You’ll finish that one right? After the murder spree?”

  “To be honest, I really don’t like that part.” Over his shoulder she saw a Subaru-ish van coming with a taxi sign signalling the last of their group was about to part ways. Since he couldn’t both act disinterested and bother her for more info, Carl was easy to redirect and dodge questions from – but ultimately, she couldn’t have answered no matter who asked.

  Why does it bother me so much?

  Not even herself.

  “Ahhhhhh…”

  “What’s wrong? You sound like you have a terminal illness.” The moment she let out a dramatic groan Catherine turned up, clearly appearing out of thin air with no awareness of the context.

  “I guess you missed him then… How to explain? Something like writer’s block? I’ve stopped uploading chapters and was reminded that people want to read it but…” She paused again. “I really don’t feel like it anymore.”

  “Isn’t writer’s block where you can’t get it down, instead of hating everything you write? Sounds like perfectionism’s your issue.” Grinning while prodding her towards the car, she had an attitude like saying “Don’t bring the mood down,” which Lissa assented to with a smile. “Guess you’re right. The plot was just based on a dream, so rejecting it felt weird somehow.”

  “Do you always have creepy dreams like that? No wonder you couldn’t write it!” Summing up the issue better than she ever could, the two of them laughed at it for a while.

  * * *

  “So which films should we watch? Trainspotting? Minority Report? Um… Interview with a Vampire…?”

  “Why is your taste in films so weird?” Lissa couldn’t tell who interrupted as they crammed each other onto the sofa and surrounding cushions on the floor, but nevertheless she had an easy response. “Don’t you know? Catherine’s taste is poisoned by her brother. Why don’t you go buy some yourself, Catherine? It’s not like he’s here to critique them.”

  Judging by her reaction, Catherine’s specific toxin was a powerful one. “It’s not that I don’t like new and popular stuff! But… It’s got all this flashy CGI and the cinematography is bad and… I don’t!”

  “Sheesh, you’re really stuck to him like glue, huh? Never mind if you haven’t got any DVDs, we can just go watch something on Netflix.” And with the final words from another secondhand friend sat behind her, Lissa watched the night slide out of her hostess’ control, leaving her flushed with bottled up arguments in defence of the filmography.

  She really does have bad taste, Lissa muttered internally. Thankfully, the rest of the party went into lively discussion on what to watch, but she couldn’t deny it was unfamiliar to her as well.

  “You don’t think I’m boring do you?”

  “Just shush, you’re too drunk to argue with about it so let’s just watch shall we?”

  Catherine kept mumbling things like that during the film they chose. Since she was the only one who didn’t have to drive or take the train back late, the amount of wine disappearing in the neighbouring glass was inevitably far more than Lissa’s or anyone else’s.

  Although Lissa herself had a haze of intoxification surrounding her as she watched the film, she was having a good enough time following along. It was nothing spectacular – honestly, she sympathised with the brother’s insistence on watching old films constantly considering the way streaming sites were padded out with B movies. But she wasn’t a snob. Absolutely not a snob.

  “Isn’t the dialogue a bit… You know? I’m so sick of them grunting in fights.”

  “Don’t you watch anime?”

  “That’s not the same! But still…”

  She should really just relax, right now it was getting to a good bit and the protagonist was breaking down over some betrayal –

  I see their faces every time I close my eyes. Dead eyes, judging their good-for-nothing son. Why didn’t I go back sooner? It was obvious what was happening, what would happen with the war but I averted my eyes and avoided responsibility. Wasn’t I nothing without them? Once I realised the state of my home, I should have returned immediately to stand righteous against our enemies. I could have done anything. Instead I ignored it, like the coward I am.

  This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

  Why? What right did I have to feel betrayed by those who gave me everything? If they fell short of what I hoped for, surely that too is a product of my own incompetence.

  “What’s up Lissa? Calm down!”

  She was gasping for breath but the light in the eyes looking down at her drove off the mysterious emotions; as she steadied her breathing Lissa forced a smile. “It’s okay! Another daydream… I guess. Maybe I drank too much after all.”

  “Wow, you really seem to have it rough.” Catherine’s brother had apparently joined them and looked sceptical as she answered. The others nodded and whispered, but she wasn’t interested in debating any further. Dreams, daydreams, imagination getting the better of her in an alcohol-induced daze, it didn’t matter which, just that she really was fine.

  “Well then, can we get back to the film?”

  “… We kind of finished it.”

  Lissa tried to play it off lightheartedly, but with how unanimously everyone froze in awkwardness the answer to that question was obvious. There was no-one collapsed or half asleep around the sofa and TV but the bowl of crisps was gone and more empty cans had appeared, plus Catherine had pulled out a blanket and was sharing it with her brother since some unknown point in time she must have missed. “Okay then, what time is it? I really don’t want to bother you if I can help it.”

  It was in fact not that late, letting her make a welcome retreat via taxi which she took on her own. A solo taxi journey would normally be the last thing Lissa signed up for – there were probably still others she could have asked to share with – but she made an exception for the simple reason that she could, and had no need to rely on the others’ generosity.

  Maybe I was a bit too cold. She barely got to talk with Catherine’s friends from work and they might not take kindly to that. But then again, she would rather get close to people on her own terms than just have them think she was nuts. Once they bridged that distance Lissa had no issue with showing vulnerability, but today was not that day. Her friends would forgive her for it later.

  Suppressing a yawn, as the taxi driver slid into free parking around the block she nodded thanks and paid the minimum fare for the short journey. Despite the odd daydream at the end the night out had satisfied her extroverted tendencies, and with the sky showing flecks of purple announcing the coming dawn Lissa wondered if she would sleep through her hangover. Her brain soon switched off completely however, as she sleepwalked through the bedtime routine with her eyelids barely staying open before finally burying herself in bed and shutting them for good.

  * * *

  When Lissa opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was a massive tiger standing by the bedside table.

  “Come on, I’m not having this. You’re obviously a sign my hangover’s still going,” she said, going on to avoid interacting any further.

  She knew this was hardly a normal hangover symptom, but since these sorts of things tended to happen when she was drunk, faded away soon after, and generally didn’t happen when she was 100% all in attendance, hangover symptom it was.

  The morning plans had disappeared from her mind, not that she had any on a Sunday but Lissa found an unorganised, unstructured life repellant so even on days such as this she liked to pretend there was a set schedule to follow. Getting dressed in clothes for relaxing on the sofa, having breakfast in front of the TV, she did all of this without being bothered by the hallucinations and mentally ticked off the tasks to a satisfying dopamine release.

  Even so, tomorrow she would be back to work at her office job handling the spillover from her colleagues so… She made a further note to go to bed early in preparation.

  “I wonder what’s on my email… Oh.” It was natural to check after the night out with friends, but seeing more messages than expected and noting the concern dripping off of some of their subjects at a glance, she realised they were still talking about her behaviour from before and sighed. If she wasn’t worried about it, why couldn’t they just accept that?

  Weird hallucinations to that degree really didn’t bother her. She remembered once describing the issue to a teacher and being told it was her vivid imagination which made her such a good artist, so ever since she refused to let it bring her down and chose to funnel it all into writing.

  “Some of these emails though… Wait a minute.” Suddenly a line caught her attention – You should know what happened after you left – and she shelved her issues with said friends. Beyond just emails, they even left a voicemail which she fumbled for the PIN and listened to its contents.

  “What kind of prank is this? Damn it! Who just goes around knocking on doors saying shit like that at 3am!” Naturally she was furious – these were people she barely felt comfortable asking anything of herself, and were now being dragged into past business outside of her control. But she pulled back her thoughts and left immediately, anticipating a very awkward reunion.

  Catherine’s brother was waiting on the driveway when she arrived, but when Lissa tried to apologise he interrupted her. “Who blames someone for having a stalker? It’s fine, just come inside so we can deal with it.” She almost carried on arguing but saw the bags under his eyes and felt a stab of guilt – they may not be close but that was no excuse for redirecting her agitation. She followed him through the porch in silence, still thinking about the likely culprit.

  Of course it was just the three of them, but it seemed likely said harassment had affected her other friends from the night before as well. As if any of them deserved it.

  “So… Before you say anything I just want to ask one thing. Was it a man and a woman, in their forties to sixties and driving a Toyota?”

  “Lissa’s here?” Catherine looked up at the sound of her voice, visibly shocked in a way which she took as confirmation. “I am, not that I expected to come back so soon.” Just as with her brother earlier Catherine started reassuring her not to feel guilty, but she ignored it since there was no need.

  “I’ve pretty much figured out what happened. It’s to do with an old friend – we drifted apart but used to be attached at the hip, back when I was struggling with various things… Anyway, although we got on well, her parents are religious nutcases and hated me. It’s been years since I had contact with any of them.” She broke off the matter-of-fact explanation – it was no longer an irrelevant part of her past, and it would be a pain to reopen old wounds in front of them. “What did they want? They must have some kind of reason, no matter how nonsensical it is.”

  Catherine was wide-eyed on the sofa, still in her pyjamas. “That doesn’t make sense, I mean they kept saying ‘Stay away from my daughter,’ I could barely follow it in the middle of their ranting about demons.” Judging by that first impression, she didn’t look interested in pressing Lissa for more at all and treated the inconsistency as more evidence for their madness. Lissa had no idea when she’d earned that level of trust but it was bothering her, so she resolved to make the minimum contact necessary to get their account of whatever set them off.

  Not much more happened after that. Since the police had already been notified (the polite version of saying they filled out evidence forms and released them into the void) and the only demands the stalkers made were that she avoid them plus some empty legal threats, there wasn’t much she could offer except for unwanted apologies. Instead of putting them through more awkwardness, Lissa drove back again with a bitter taste in her mouth, determined to rescue her day.

  The tiger was still there. Not that she needed that to make her think she was losing it, but the reminder made her so sick of everything that she resolved to sleep on the sofa if her imagination didn’t calm down.

  “Wonder if there’s anything I missed…”

  Just as she went through the emails from other friends, she noticed something unusual from a week ago and froze. There was a message about a get-together with another friend, one she definitely didn’t remember meeting and absolutely shouldn’t have seen in years. Flicking through the whole thread while barely registering the words, it didn’t make a difference. Mocking laughter filled her head as she tried to rationalise the gaps in her memories.

  Did I do something wrong after all?

  You shouldn’t have gotten close to them.

  There was no way to predict it.

  You’ve never trusted yourself so why should they?

  It didn’t matter. If there was another accident like the past Lissa could just fix the damage and ignore what people thought of her. Since she definitely wasn’t contacting the parents, she rang the reception number for the hospital Rebecca was recovering in and added writing the best apology she could muster to the rest of the unpleasant day’s plans.

  * * *

  And while all of that was stressful and depressing, if there was one thing Lissa couldn’t stand it was letting unanswerable dilemmas ruin an otherwise promising start. Sure, she may have no idea what irreparable damage another memory gap could throw at her but on the other hand, her writer’s block had just come undone and it was a glorious sunny day. All of her friends chatted regularly through social media and if her old fears came back she could always ask them not to visit face to face. It didn’t have to change anything about her current, infinitely better than before, life.

  “Lovely day, isn’t it?” Walking by the lakes, the smiling couple came out of nowhere and she tried not to flinch. “Yeah… It really is.”