Chapter 11;     Our broken consteltions 2

  My fingers ached—numb yet burning, raw skin scraping against jagged stone.

  The wind howled, a relentless force pressing against me, stealing my breath, my thoughts, everything but the pain.

  My grip had weakened.

  My knuckles had long since turned pale, my nails dug so deep into the stone they threatened to break.

  I couldn’t hold on much longer.

  The sharp edges bit into my palms, the small fractures spreading beneath my fingertips.

  The stone trembled and soon cracked.

  Ah.

  My fingers gave out...

  I fell.

  The world tilted.

  The sky, once so far away, spun wildly above me, swallowing me whole. My body twisted, weightless, the wind no longer howling but roaring in triumph.

  The jagged cliffs blurred past, their edges a distorted mess of motion.

  The surface of the river rushed toward me, a mirror reflecting the vast blue sky.

  The water didn't embrace me; it swallowed me whole, pulling me into unknown depths as the air inside my lungs vanished before I even realized it.

  My body plunged beneath the surface, the cold seeping into my bones like a sickness. The current pulled me somewhere I don't know.

  I tried to move.

  My body won't move.

  Something pressed against my chest.

  My mouth opened instinctively, but the water rushed in, filling my throat—my lungs burning

  I tried to expel it from my mouth, but it didn’t work.

  My lungs convulsed, screaming for air that didn’t exist.

  I can’t breathe.

  I struggled, but the river was stronger. It carried me like a lifeless thing, an offering to the abyss.

  The surface above me became a shifting blur of light diverging from the waves.

  This feels... familiar.

  But it isn't.

  "I" have felt this before.

  But I haven’t.

  My chest tightened.

  My fingers twitched, reaching for something, anything, but there was nothing.

  The world was silent in the vast waters—it felt like I was the only one left.

  It was like there was no one was beside me, no one to talk to me, no one to comfort me, no one.

  I was all alone.

  I can't breathe.

  Its cold.

  Its warm..

  I can't breathe.

  Its cold.

  Empty.

  Lonely.

  Help.... me.

  The sky feels distant.

  So far, yet so close.

  Ah...

  Its Cold.

  Before another thought could form, I fainted.

  I regained consciousness after what felt like an eternity

  Ah...

  A dull pain pulsed in my chest, it was a mix of realization that I'm going to die soon.

  I'm alive.

  But I shouldn’t be.

  The darkness around me wasn’t solid, nor was it empty.

  The ocean curled around my limbs, cold and relentless. Light shimmered somewhere above, distant and wavering.

  I tried to move.

  My fingers twitched, sluggish, as if they belonged to someone else. My arms, heavy with exhaustion, barely obeyed the commands I gave them.

  My legs didn’t move at all.

  Something deep within my chest tightened, an unbearable pressure coiling around my ribs. My lungs screamed for air, my throat convulsing with the desperate need to breathe, but there was nothing but water—thick, merciless water.

  My heart pounded.

  My vision swayed.

  I kicked my legs, forcing them to move despite the weight pulling me downward. My arms stretched forward, reaching for a surface that felt impossibly far away. The cold gnawed at my skin, burrowing into my bones, turning my movements sluggish and weak.

  A sharp, unbearable pain shot through my chest. My vision darkened at the edges. My mind wavered between dreams and reality, slipping through the cracks of consciousness.

  This feeling again.

  The light above flickered, the currents twisting around me, pulling me deeper.

  Everything faded as I lost consciousness.

  ***

  "Ha.. Ha... Ha... Ha..."

  I woke up gasping.

  The sound of my own breath was the first thing I heard—ragged, uneven, desperate. My body convulsed, my stomach twisting violently as water surged up my throat. I choked, my entire body curling in on itself as I vomited onto the rough surface beneath me.

  My chest burned as if I had swallowed fire, every breath scraping against my lungs like shattered gss. My fingers dug into the ground beneath me—stone, cold and wet, slick with seawater. The air smelled of salt and something bitter, something I couldn't name.

  I tried to lift my head. The world tilted, blurred shapes shifting in and out of focus..

  A deep, dying orange painted the horizon, the light fractured by the restless waves. The sky stretched endlessly above me, its colors bleeding into the sea as if the world itself was being swallowed by dusk.

  I was somehow alive.

  But my body refused to move, weighed down by exhaustion, by pain, by the sheer weight of my own existence. My drenched clothes clung to my skin, heavy and suffocating, as if trying to drag me back into the depths.

  I clenched my teeth, forcing my aching muscles to respond.

  I pushed myself up onto my hands, but my arms trembled violently, unable to support my weight. My stomach twisted again, another wave of nausea crashing over me, and I gagged, coughing up more of the ocean that had tried to cim me.

  The pain was unbearable.

  It spread through my body like an infection, a dull, throbbing ache that refused to fade.

  I pressed a trembling hand against my chest. My ribs felt bruised, each breath a reminder of how close I had been to death.

  It’s okay.

  It’s okay.

  I’m okay.

  The ocean behind me stretched endlessly into the horizon, an abyss of shifting darkness. The waves moved in slow, rhythmic pulses, as if mocking the way my body heaved for air, struggling to survive.

  Something wasn’t right.

  The stone beneath me felt cold. Solid. Unmoving.

  I let myself fall back, the rough surface pressing against my spine. The sky above blurred, the fading light of the sun spilling across my vision like dying embers.

  My eyelids grew heavy.

  The world faded.

  I lost consciousness again.

  ***

  A dull ringing echoed in my skull. My eyelids felt heavy, like they had been sealed shut for centuries. I forced them open, but the world remained a blur—shapeless shadows melting into each other, shifting like a dream I had no control over. My body was slow, unresponsive, like something foreign had taken over my limbs.

  The air was thick. Damp. A strange scent clung to it—wood, sweat, something metallic that felt too familiar. It burned my throat. My chest ached.

  I tried to move.

  But my body refused to obey.

  I struggled. Again. And again. And again.

  But it was all in vain as I couldn't move.

  Ah..

  A sharp sensation pulsed through my chest, an instinctual warning that told me if I didn’t move now—if I didn’t escape—I would deeply regret it.

  I clenched my fists.

  My fingers twitched, nails pressing against rough fabric.

  It felt like my arms and legs were bound.

  My breathing grew erratic.

  My heartbeat grew faster with each passing second, a feeling of uneasiness spread through my body.

  I tried again—forcing my muscles to work, to respond, to do something—anything but It didn't work

  The floor beneath me shifted. No, not the floor. I wasn’t lying down. I was sitting. The rough surface against my back felt like wood.

  The space underneath me felt like it was hollow. The whole structure trembled, a sudden jolt knocking me forward slightly.

  A sliver of light split through the darkness.

  It burned against my vision, it too bright after the suffocating bck.

  A sudden strange sound spread across.

  A body crashed against the floor.

  The impact sent a dull vibration through the wooden surface.

  I tried to speak.

  Nothing came out.

  My throat blocked by something unknown.

  My lips moved, but no words formed.

  The figure on the floor barely stirred. Their breathing—shallow, uneven. The dim light cast jagged shadows across their body, flickering as if struggling to exist.

  I strained my eyes, trying to see more, but the light was already fading.

  The space trembled.

  A low, rhythmic creaking filled the silence, the sensation of movement pressing against my back. My body swayed slightly with each lurch forward, but it didn’t feel like I was moving.

  No, it was different—like I was being pulled backwards, dragged against an invisible current, the past cwing at me, refusing to let go.

  Moving forward.

  Only to return to the beginning.

  Reaching the end.

  Only to find there was no true end.

  A sudden pang struck my chest, sharp and deep.

  My breath hitched, my ribs tightening as if something had curled its fingers around my heart and squeezed. My body grew cold, the air unsettling and suffocating.

  I forced my body to move, muscles aching, skin raw. My wrists screamed, a burning sensation fring up my arms. The more I pulled, the more it spread, sinking its teeth into my nerves, scorching through me like fire. My legs felt the same—bound, restrained, useless.

  Still, I tried again.

  Again.

  And again.

  Each time, something invisible repelled me, shoving me back down as if punishing me for daring to resist. The force wasn’t physical—it was deeper than that, something unexpinable, something wrong.

  I couldn’t move.

  I couldn’t breathe properly.

  My stomach churned violently, a sickening pressure pressing against my insides as if something foreign had settled there, writhing, twisting, cwing at the walls of my gut. The agony was unbearable, sending sharp jolts of nausea through my veins. I gasped, but the air refused to enter my lungs properly. It felt thick, contaminated, like inhaling something that wasn’t meant to be breathed.

  It hurt.

  Everything was agonizing.

  My vision wavered, the world around me fragmenting into something unrecognizable. The edges of my consciousness blurred, my perception slipping, warping, shattering into fractured pieces that no longer made sense.

  I was losing myself.

  In drowning.

  I wasn’t in the carriage anymore.

  I was somewhere else.

  No, I was nowhere.

  I tried to scream, but my throat refused to let the sound escape. My lips moved, my voice curled against my vocal cords, but nothing came out. The words remained trapped, choking me from the inside.

  Help me.

  I'm drowning.

  It's cold.

  Somebody...

  There was no one.

  No one to hear me.

  No one to save me.

  I am fading.

  My mind spiraled, thoughts blurring into indistinguishable noise. The world around me twisted, colors melting into each other, bleeding into shadows, turning into something incomprehensible. My vision darkened, the bck figures around me stretching, shifting, surrounding me like a void I couldn’t escape from.

  Where was I?

  What was happening?

  Everything was disappearing.

  I was disappearing.

  "Hey, brat. Are you okay?"

  A husky voice sliced through the suffocating silence.

  I flinched, eyes darting around, but there was nothing. Only darkness. My breathing hitched, my pulse hammering in my ears. The voice had come from right next to me, but I couldn’t see anything.

  Was someone really there?

  Or was I imagining it?

  No—someone was there. I could feel its presence.

  I should ask for help.

  I should ask where am I?

  I—

  "Mmm.I'm perfectly okay."

  I murmured, my tone eerily monotone.

  The words felt foreign on my tongue. A lie, yet not a lie. Meaningless, yet the only thing I could say.

  A low hum of acknowledgment. A sound, not quite a word.

  The presence didn’t leave, but it didn’t speak either. It just lingered, existing in the darkness beside me, waiting.

  I wanted to ask something. Who are you? Where am I? What’s happening?

  But my voice didn't came out.

  I closed my eyes.

  I felt like I was being consumed by something.

  Ah… What would Miyuki do in this situation?

  Would he panic like this?

  No.

  He would stay calm. He would think logically. He would breathe, steady and controlled.

  First, I need to calm down.

  What does he do to calm himself?

  Ah… I need to control my breathing.

  "Ha…"Breathe in.

  "Ho…"Breathe out.

  Repeat. Again. Again.

  Slowly, the trembling in my body faded. The erratic beating of my heart softened into a steady rhythm. The suffocating weight on my chest lifted, little by little.

  As my mind settled, I felt myself drift into a strange state—somewhere between wakefulness and sleep. It was like being trapped in a daydream, a space where reality warped and bent to something surreal.

  A shattered sky stretched above, the broken fragments of something vast and unknowable tumbling down like pieces of gss. They rotated, reflecting images of shifting seasons—snowfall on one side, rain pouring on the other. Time moved unnaturally, eons reversing and accelerating in an endless loop. My body stood at the center, unaffected, detached. The "universe" cracked, expanded, then colpsed, vanishing into nothing, only to rebuild itself in an infinite cycle.

  Through it all, "I" remained there, motionless, emotionless. Unmoved by the spectacle before me.

  The truck screeched to a stop inches away.

  A driver stepped out, his voice sharp, scolding "me" for my carelessness.

  But—he mistook "me" for a girl.

  Understandable. I had long grown used to it.

  Without a word, "I" turned away, running towards what I once called home. The door smmed shut behind me as I locked myself in, isoting, retreating into silence. My fingers traced the "logs," my voice called out to Ceil, only to uncover something strange—something about Vetaback.

  Vetaback.

  What… is Vetaback?

  ...

  Ah.

  I'm free from my translucent state. The haze of my mind fades, reality returning in slow fragments.

  These dreams—no, these memories—they always carry tragedy. Always something unsettling. But this one… this one feels tragic in a different way.

  Why?

  I don't know.

  I blinked, adjusting to the darkness around me. The space rocked slightly, a rhythmic motion confirming what I had already suspected. This thing moving forward—or backward, depending on how I perceived it—was most likely a carriage.

  It was dark. Too dark to see anything.

  The air felt damp, thick. The silence stretched, pressing against my ears, suffocating.

  Until it was broken.

  "So… how did you get here?"

  A husky voice. The same one from before. Close.

  Ah… I have to speak.

  I hesitated. My throat felt dry, as if dust had settled inside, refusing to leave. But I forced the words out, no matter how small, how fragile.

  "I don’t remember…"

  The words barely left my lips, yet they carried weight.

  Even if it was just a few, it took all my strength to push them out.

  ***

  Author's Note: I was supposed to upload this about five days ago, but I forgot! As compensation, I'm going to write two chapters. I'm kind of busy these days (I've been writing a new novel; it's called 「100 Fables Until My Death」) with life. Also, Sleep deprivation is never too much...