Angle of view

  At first, I had a very sweet dream.

  I sat with Tan Jiao in the empty space outside the garage, I was smoking, she was playing with her phone. After a while, I hugged her over, put her on my thigh, and kissed her gently. She kept whispering something in my ear, but I couldn't quite hear it. And her laughter, like spring breeze, lingered around me. I saw clearly the pattern on her skirt, delicate and soft. I grasped the hem of her skirt, she overlapped her hand on mine.

  "Darling, darling." I whispered to her, "Will you be with me?"

  But she just didn't answer, she just smiled.

  I wasn't satisfied, so I held her even tighter, very tightly, and then one hand grasped her slender leg. She stared at me with wide eyes, and I chuckled: "I've wanted to do this for a long time."

  ……

  At some point, the person in my arms disappeared. It was only then that I realized I was standing in a dark room, unable to see anything around me. I started running forward, searching for an exit. Suddenly, I saw a familiar figure flash by - she was also running, but I couldn't remember who she was.

  "Heh heh heh......" A man was eerily laughing in the darkness, right behind us. I finally saw her terrified face. In fact, I still couldn't see her facial features clearly, a blurry face, but I suddenly realized that she was Ou Miao!

  Fantastic!

  I couldn't utter any screams, I wanted to catch up with her, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't. The black houses suddenly disappeared.

  I stand in front of a window, outside the window there is a person, black long hair, white T-shirt, short skirt, slender legs. She sits there, crying all the time. I hear her shouting "Yu".

  Tears suddenly welled up in my eyes and I cried out: "Jiao! Jiao!"

  She was crying over there and I was watching her from here but couldn't do anything about it.

  Later, Tan Jiao also disappeared. I was alone, sitting in a patch of sinking sand, with some wood and bricks by my side. I kept building houses. Desperately building. But the speed at which the quicksand sank was too fast, the house was built and collapsed, built and collapsed, and it couldn't be built up no matter what.

  I've been repeating myself.

  Later, I felt thirsty and wanted to drink water, so I opened the refrigerator in front of me. Inside, there were frozen soda and a large black bucket. I took a glance at the bucket, and saw human bones and flesh floating in the bloody water...

  Whose corpse is that?

  I gazed at them, and tears slowly welled up in my eyes.

  ……

  I woke up in a cold sweat, with a chill at the bottom of my heart.

  Staring at the blurry darkness in front of me, and the woman lying on top of me who was kissing me, I suddenly understood everything.

  Understand why I fell in love with her, understand why I can't have her.

  For more than twenty years of my life, I put in all the effort just to build a future for my mother and Wu Miao. But I lost everything after one defeat. When I turned around, I couldn't recognize myself anymore.

  Now, let alone building a future, I can't even imagine what the future holds for me and Tan Jiao, so I often ask Ou Yu, what qualifications do I have to love her?

  What can I give her?

  What if the future I've built for her collapses and disappears again?

  Bright moonlight, please forgive my cowardice and pain. That Wu Yu, he was trapped in that house for too long, now the person he yearns for most is the one he dares not to embrace.

  ……

  I stretched out my hand and hugged her. She, however, was startled by my wakefulness and almost immediately sprang open. Looking at her suddenly flushed face, my heart was surprisingly soft. As for what she muttered to explain in her mouth, I didn't listen carefully.